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**Subtitles by Joe Shmoe adapted from
other's subtitles.**
Do you know what you've done?
That was a living thing, and you killed it!
And for what? For luck?
What if that bug was a provider?
What if it had a family?
Go on .. go on..
Hold up!!
Hold up!!
Just wait a minute.
I literally pulled up here 30 seconds ago.
Seriously.
Cop: That's it sir
Wallace: So your content with that?
Cop: I'm just doing my job.
Wallace: You could have stopped.
Cop: No, I couldn't.
Wallace: Yes, you could.
Man: I know you.
Cop: You should have thought of that
before hand.
Wallace: I have the money!
Cop: Doesn't matter. I'm sorry.
Wallce: I have an 1h and 25 min.
Cop: I can't take the money, sir.
Wallace: Here's for an 1h 25min.
Cop: I don't take money sir.
Wallace: You can just put them
in the meter, I mean...
Cop: No, I will not
put them in the meter.
Wallace: Well, so is that it? I mean...
Wallace: You couldn't just stop?
Cop: No I couldn't stop.
Cop: According to the municipal code.
Cop: I cannot stop writing a ticket once
I started writing it.
Wallace: So that's it, that's it?
Cop: Have a better day, okay?
You don't have to be like this, you know?
You don't have to be this way!
I was trying to teach
that boy something!
Damn .. you .. to hell!
Damn you to hell!
Sung.
Sung, come in here!
What is it?
The drain it's clogged.
Yes it is.
Well stick your hand
down there and unclog it.
Why don't you do it?
The goop, in my hands.
We're gonna need some draino.
Well buy some.
Good afternoon.
Hey, Dwight can I borrow 5 bucks from you?
A friend will soon bring you a gift.
Great.
You are destined for greatness.
That's a pretty good one.
How about ..
You have a penchant for humor.
Technically, that's more of an observation
than a prediction.
We all finished here?
Actually, I think I want some more
coffee.
Half cup.
Of course.
I'll just leave it here.
Don't you rush now.
Oh crap.
You have any money?
Oh, damn.
I don't have enough for the right tip.
Let's go to the ATM
No no, no just leave what you have.
The service wasn't that hot anyway.
$4.13 please.
Can I just get one of these?
Sorry can't break up the pack.
Yeah but you're out of singles.
My hands are tied, hands are tied.
C'mon .. you're the only place open.
Yeah we are.
Baby crying and screaming.
Jesus Christ.
I'm so glad we're not having kids.
What do you mean?
I'm not saying you'd make a bad father
sweetie
I understand that.
We're not having kids?
We've discussed this.
Turn out the light.
When did we discuss this?
It was at the Science Museum.
There was a family with two kids crying ..
and the parents were all upset.
I turned to you and said: I am so glad
that's not us, and you said: Yeah!
And from that ..
You said you like kids.
No I didn't!
When did I say that?
You ...
It was...
Wll I don't know, you said it.
When?
I don't know!!
You don't know because I never said it.
Well I'm not making this up.
You've known my attitude
about it since day 1.
So don't go giving me that surprised look.
Now, turn out the light.
You did say it.
Oh my God, stop it.
Maybe we should rethink things.
Yeah, maybe we should.
Typing: Your girlfriend is lying to you
Your girlfriend is lying to you.
Hey .. we can't use these.
Sure we can.
Dwight.
This is irresponsible.
C'mon .. who's gonna care?
Typing: Your relationship is a farce.
Maybe you should go home
for the day.
Who are we to prescribe fate anyway?
Your trip to heaven or hell was
predetermined long before you were born.
Huh.
That'd make you a Calvinist.
Yep.
I'm a Bahai myself.
Stop making names up from chicken ***.
*** you, I'm tolerant.
You're indecisive.
Oh yeah?
Well I'm your shift manager
so you can shut your trap.
Now get back to work and stick to
the approved messages.
Typing: Norman is an ***.
You will meet the girl of your dreams.
***, ***, ***.
What is it with me?
Are you alright?
Oh, I'm fine I'm fine.
Here, let me help you.
No, I...
Don't worry about it, I've got it.
Here's your oranges.
Back off, okay?
Thank you.
My name is Mitchell.
That's wonderful.
Yeah ..
I like it.
So what's your name?
Please go away.
Woah that's a weird name.
Look, Mitchell?
I'd really like you to leave me alone now.
We didn't just share a moment.
I just tripped.
Okay?
Yeah, but... the fortune cookie ..
Why don't you have dinner with me.
Nope!
I really think we hit it off.
No, now go away.
Look, why not let me give you my
number and then think it over?
Right, all right.
Give me your number, then.
Will that get you away from me?
Yes, it will.
My home number is on there too.
Just flip it over.
Good .. thanks .. wonderful.
Well look, here it goes into the
bottom of my purse.
Never to be seen again.
I really think you're gonna call me.
Bye!
Hey!
Wait!
Damn it.
Hey .. get away!
Get out. Go away!
Ow!
Hey man, get back here!
Nice lid, ***!
Thanks a lot, olive.
Is something the matter?
Yes, you're out to ruin me!
I'm not out to ruin you, Ernie.
Then why this hat?
I like it!
Why?
Why this hat?
Why the stripey shirts?
Why the funny dinners?
I make you these things because
I think that you'll like them ..
I do it because I love you.
I don't buy it!
You don't ?!
Nope. I think you're trying to embarrass me.
You're being ridiculous.
Am I ? .. am I ??
Because I can't seem to think of any
other reason why ..
we can never have a
normal day in this house.
Unless maybe you inherited some weirdo gene.
Like your loopy brother.
Oh, hello Ernie.
Cyr, how are you?
Ah, nothing to complain about.
You?
Been better.
Been better.
I called in an order of Kung Pao chicken.
Oh, one Kung Pao chicken.
To go.
Sung.
My new manager.
This is Ernie.
He's a very good customer.
Nice to meet you.
Likewise.
Keep the change.
Thank you.
Have a nice night.
You too.
Don't touch that man.
His brother had the cancer.
Hello.
Oh, hi.
Hi.
Yes, I'd like an order of Kung Pao
chicken please.
No more chicken!
There seems to be no more chicken.
How about some Mushu pork?
Or a cruller?
Hmm, I really had my heart
set on that chicken.
Sorry.
Psst .. shoo .. go away.
Sound of cat yowling and being hit by a car.
Why?
Why?
I was trying to help this cat.
Oh man.
You can't help this cat.
It's dead.
See?
Yeah.
Thanks.
Oh, no tags.
Must be a stray.
Did you find kitty?
Sorry.
Will you keep looking.
Honey, I have to work tomorrow.
Please?
Okay.
Thank you Clark.
Step it up girls.
Consolidated cable.
Yeah, uh, my cable just went out.
Ok, we're experiencing problems..
So if I can have your last name..
so I can bring up your account.
Yes, it's Simmons.
Simmons.
Ok, Gwenn?
Yes.
Ok, what I'll do is..
I'm gonna credit your account for the lost time.
I just want to know when it's gonna
get fixed.
My show starts in half an hour.
Yeah, it's hard to say, really..
Alright well I really don't want to miss it.
You know, your voice sounds very familiar.
I've had a lot of cable problems.
Wait!
Say that again!
I've had a lot of cable problems?
Ok, now say..
Never to be seen again.
What are you talking about?
It's you!
You dropped your groceries.
I bought the flowers for you.
My god.
This is incredible.
I knew this was..
Hold on.
Just hold on!
Look, I'm not one to be rash..
But I really think we should get together.
I mean, this has got to be fate or something.
It's nothing.
My cable went out. You work at the
cable company.
It's really nothing that magical.
The gods have played no part in this.
But... the cookie ..
and then you called.
Cookie?
What cookie? I mean...
who are you?
I'm Mitchell!
Ok, Mitchell?
I'm just not interested.
Ok?
So just credit my account..
or whatever you're gonna do ..
and have a nice day.
Alright?!
Oh, ok.
Hello.
Singing on phone: You are the sun,
you are the rain
that makes my life this foolish game
You need to know, I love you so
and I'd do it all again and again
Mother ***!
C'mon, let's get you to school.
No who remembers that "elephant" ..
is spelled with "ph" instead of "f"?
Well that is strange..
because everyone forgot..
to spell it like that on this weeks
spelling test.
Everybody ... except for ... Jennie.
Jennie gets this weeks gold star.
***!
Kids!
You were blessed with a keen intellect ...
and one hell of a man.
You are leaving ?
I finished rethinking.
So let's discuss this.
I really don't want kids, Dwight.
How can you be sure?
I just ... I see this flustered look in
every mom and dad ...
this harried, exhausted look.
and I, I don't want to be that person.
You know?
And...
Today was the last straw.
What, you get mugged by a baby?
You're an ***.
Jesus.
I just think you're oversimplifying
the issue.
I don't think you can categorically say ...
No, no, no, I can.
You just won't accept it.
So I don't think there is any
point in dragging this out.
I think I should leave.
Fine.
If that's what you want.
But I have to say this doesn't bode
well for you.
Meaning what?
Well ...
let's say by Calvinists standards ...
I am predestined to go to heaven.
Your leaving me ...
Wouldn't speak to highly of your fate.
Oh Dwight, you are ridiculous.
If that's what you need to believe.
Go ahead.
Play with fate.
What makes you so sure ...
you've been chosen for heaven?
I'm not.
No one can be sure.
Ah hah.
Unless ...
I had my vision of confirmation.
Have you?
No.
Take a look around.
I have a good job.
Wealth of material goods.
Full head of hair.
Surely that's indicative of something.
I'd say I'm due any day now.
How can you be sure that
I'm not chosen?
And that my leaving actually bodes
poorly for you?
Well ...
Obviously ...
You can't ...
can you?
I'll be back in a few days for my boxes.
A buck ... two bucks ...
Two bucks ...
Ah, William DeVaughn.
Kinda rare.
I'll give you 20 for that ...
Great.
Ok, um ... 50 for the whole stack.
Deal.
Would a doomed man have a ***
this thick?
Excuse me?
Never mind.
Um, is that the guy who sings "Be thankful
for what you got" ?
Yeah.
Fantastic.
Ooh, how much for the William DeVaughn?
40.
Sold.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I was gonna buy that.
William Devaughn's "Be thankful for what
you've got" playing.
Do you mind if I grab one of these?
Knock yourself out.
Curtis Mayfield and the Impressions.
"Choice of colors".
Southern California's only R&B gold ...
it's KRCE.
I've got something kind of special
for todays pick to win.
It was a No. 1 hit in 1974,
selling over 4 million copies.
Name the song, and the artist ...
and I'll give you 100 bucks.
1-800-555 KRCE.
First direct caller gets the loot.
Good luck.
William Devaughn playing on radio again.
William DeVaughn.
William DeVaughn!
Ah, Dwight.
Let me get your pork.
Thank you, sir.
$7.95.
Keep the change, my friend.
Life's been good.
Oh, very well.
Have a nice day.
Always.
Hey Cyr, did you finish cooking
the pork?
Excuse me, mister taking a break boy?
Did you finish the pork?!
Yes.
Of course.
On phone: Thanks for holding, Dept. of
Health, how can I assist you?
What, what is it?
What do we need to do?
Well you can start with better
refrigeration ...
this units a little warm.
Is that the problem?
It's hard to say.
Doesn't take much for a piece of
meat to go bad.
Age .. low cooking heat.
Poor refrigeration ... peer pressure.
It can even be vermon infestation.
You've got a few small holes ...
under the wash basin.
Liar.
We haven't seen any rats around here.
Well, they're very sneaky creatures.
It's the street crew. They bring in dust
and dirty feces.
Some are gypsys.
With all due respect, Mr. Tremon ...
I think the root of your
problem is internal ...
rather than external.
I'm clean! My food is clean!
Cyr, calm down.
He insults me.
If I may.
This is just a simple reactive solution.
These green spots indicate
concentrations of bacteria.
Oh my god.
No need to worry. These are probably
harmless paramecium.
But if this service had just been
wiped down properly ...
there'd be a lot less of them.
Are you gonna cite us?
No.
Turn down your refrigerator a
few notches ...
plug up those holes and ...
pay attention to the safety guidelines
on this sheet.
Ok.
I'll come back around.
Next week.
If everythings kosher ...
we won't need to take any action.
We'll get it done.
Thanks a lot.
See you next week.
Did you hear what he said?
Yeah.
We have the bacteria.
It's ok, I'll just turn down the fridge
and and get the spackle in the morning.
No!
Throw out all the food.
I want everything clean.
Floor, counters, cabinets, oven.
Use the special cleansers.
No man, that will take hours.
I told you, I have to leave at six today.
I'll come back in the morning and
take care of it.
No, do it today!
I really think you're overreacting.
Today!!!
Fine.
Closed.
Sorry.
Hey, you like the "Dodgers"?
Here.
Bye honey I'll be back later.
Where are you going?
Dodger game.
Guy at the donut shop gave me a ticket.
Well what about dinner?
I'll get something at the game.
But I made you dinner.
Why are you trying to keep me from
having fun?
I'm not.
Then what are you trying to do?
Nothing.
See you later.
Bye.
Alert, alert. Fire on stage, ladies.
Careful, this can get hot and wet.
Smooth, hot.
Let's see some dollar bills, ladies.
Last call.
Sound of car hitting something.
***.
Sound of tiring exploding.
Jesus!
Great!
Sorry.
Sir, your blocking the alley.
Oh my god.
Can you just ...
Take a minute.
Write the ticket!
Sir, I'm sensitive to the needs of the dog.
Write it! Write it!
Canus Rabidus.
This dog will not live much longer.
It's okay.
Sound of dog growling and barking and
biting Mitchell.
Ow, my arm.
Help me! Get off me!
Get off me please!
Help me.
Someone help me.
I saw something very curious today.
A man wrestling a sick dog ...
into his car.
The dog did not understand that
the man was trying to help.
And bit and clawed furiously at him.
Using his dying breaths, to attack.
The man did not give up.
He continued his attempts to get the
dog in the car ...
all the while yelling for help.
First for the dog ...
then for himself.
Yet no one stopped
to help these two poor creatures.
Why?
Was it because it was a dog?
Because the man was dirty and
wearing coveralls?
Were we too busy? Were we afraid?
Or, did we not see it as a problem that
required our involvement?
I think it's the latter, my friends.
I think that we as a people
have become desensitized.
Sad word isn't it?
De - sensitized.
Without the senses.
Scary.
I'm gonna be reading from a text
this evening.
A tele-flick, to be exact ...
and although a lot of people look down
there noses at tv ...
myself included ...
This particular piece of television ...
taught, and can still teach ...
all of us a little bit more ...
about the value of life.
All life.
"The boy in the bubble".
Joining me this evening in this reading is ...
esteemed local acting instructor ...
Joan Reading.
Welcome, Joan.
Thank you.
Very European.
Joan ...
I was thinking ..
that we would start with page 45.
The first hospital scene.
I'll play the role of the doctor ...
and Joan will play the role of the
boys mother.
Ready?
Yes.
I'm afraid that we have to
put your son in a bubble.
But, how will I hug him?
Hug him, from here.
I don't understand.
Love transcends bubbles.
It moves through...
plastic.
Past tubes and compressors.
Past gloves and masks.
If you hug him ...
with your heart.
He will feel it.
I can't.
Look at it.
That ...
bubble.
So big.
So cold ...
and poor Billy inside it like
a circus freak.
I hate that bubble.
I hate it.
Forget the bubble!
Billy could be in a thousand bubbles ...
Billy could be in the center of the earth ...
He still could feel your love.
Forget that Bubble Mrs. Vansel and get
in there and love your son ...
god damn it!
Hello dear.
Can you hear me?
I'll now take on the role of the
bubble child.
Mother?
It's just not fair.
I don't deserve this.
I mean quite honestly ...
my whole life has been a nightmare.
And now this.
The final insult ... the coldest cut.
Mother!
My poor freakish child.
Would you still love me if
I was in a bubble?
Of course I would, sugar.
I was made for you.
I'd be in a bubble.
I understand that.
You wouldn't be able to come in, you know?
The amount of germs in your eyebrow
alone could ravage me.
Your eyebrow could kill me.
I would love you from outside the bubble.
Would you, though ?
You don't trust me?
I wouldn't be able to perform
certain duties ...
husbandly duties.
What are you getting at?
I'm in a bubble.
I can't come out for the rest of my life ...
or I'll die.
You're not gonna get even a little
piece on the side?
Not without your blessing.
But you admit that someone with
a more active lifestyle ...
might catch your eye.
I'm not admitting anything.
Who is it?
What, some tennis pro probably.
Wayne, the tennis pro.
Wayne?
What about if I said ...
sure, go ahead. You wouldn't go for a
little roll with Wayne?
Maybe I would.
Probably be a regular event.
Thursday afternoon or something.
I suppose eventually ...
he'd be my mistress.
But I would still love you.
Great, stop by the bubble everyday or so ...
and the rest of the time you'd
be with Wayne ...
Playing frisbee.
Honey, please.
No no, it's fine!
Thanks for bringing by the magazines.
Say hi to Wayne.
Have fun at the zoo.
Just toss a rope inside the bubble on your
way out so I can hang myself.
Stop!
Too close to home?
Too close to the bone?
Maybe you've got a Wayne right now.
What'd you did this afternoon?
I cooked you dinner.
After the zoo?
Did you want your dinner?
No, give it to Wayne.
I'm in a bubble.
Fine.
Oh, you're a fine lady, olive.
Were you with Wayne when you
wrecked the car last night?
You lose your dinner, it's down the drain.
You know what your problem is?
You're insensitive!
I can't hear you.
Insensitive.
You're an "insensite".
That's not even a word!
"insensite".
"insensite".
I was blinded.
There was a flash.
Environment is a cruel mistress.
Should I get some kind of partial credit?
there were 51 packs.
The record is 1200.
You were quite a ways away.
Let him try again.
You be quiet, Henry!
He'll be eligible for another attempt
in six months.
We look forward to your call.
Remember, records were made to broken.
- C'mon Ted. Open up, Ted.
- We're your friends, Ted.
Christ, what is the big deal?
- He really wanted it.
- Ok, but he didn't get it.
He doesn't have to hole up like this.
Ted, c'mon man, open the door.
Hey dude, calm down.
You know what, I won't!
The same thing happened last year
with the eggs ...
we all rushed over here like puppies.
So I am sick of it.
Ted, Ted, stop being baby, man!
Go away I don't need you.
Alright. You know what, let's go.
No no, hold on a second.
I'm sorry guys, he's really upset.
Well, can't we see him?
Give him a few days.
Few days?
No we're supposed to watch the fight
here tomorrow.
Where is my suit, Henry?
I'm sorry.
Henry ...
Wonderful.
And what are we supposed to do now?
Well, is he the only one with HBO?
Yes.
I'm not going to a sports bar.
Can we get HBO by tomorrow night?
Right, got it.
Where is it?
I might be able to help.
Hello?
Monsieur Mitchell.
How good to see you.
And who is your lovely companion?
Ah, this is the Gwenn.
My date.
Friend!
Enchante.
Oh, thank you.
So Albert, do you think you can get
us in tonight?
For you! Of course!
Let's see...
Right this way.
Thank you.
Good evening.
Hi.
Johnston ...
party of 3.
I believe I have a reservation.
I am sorry ...
I don't seem to see anything.
Oh it's gotta be there, I called a week ago.
I'm afraid I don't see anything. What was
the name again?
Johnston.
J-o-h-n-s-t-o-n.
No, no, I'm sorry, we don't have any
reservation in that name.
I don't understand, I called last week.
You specifically said there wouldn't
be a problem.
I wish there was something I could do.
Look, this is a very important
business dinner.
Try to fit us in somewhere. Thank you.
Let's see.
It looks like the earliest I could sit you
would be at 10:15.
10:15! That's over two hours from now.
Perhaps you can have a drink at the bar.
No, I want a table!
I cannot give you one, we are full.
Look, I had a reservation, I want a table ...
and I just gave you $ 20!
Mr. Johnston, it seems that we are
at an impasse.
You are an irresistible force, and
I am an immovable object.
One of us must relent or we will both
perish.
Then relent god damn it, you smug son
of a ***.
Give me back my money.
What seems to be the problem here?
This guy lost our reservation.
Excuse me, but I have already informed...
And I informed you that 10:15
is too late!
Can I see you for a minute please?
***!
Excuse us.
Can you believe him? I swear to god ...
I thought you said you double checked this.
Well I did ... I didn't think it
was necessary.
Mr. Kim comes to town once a year.
He specifically requests this restaurant, and
you don't think it's necessary to double check it?
Look, they specifically told
me that this was not gonna be a ...
And then you make a scene in front
of him and the entire restaurant.
Ms. Chambers, you...
Johnston, you're fired.
Don't bother coming in tomorrow. We'll
send you your things.
Mr. Kim. I'm so sorry. There seems
to be a little mix up.
I know a little Italian place just a
couple blocks over.
What about those municipal bonds?
We sold them for Lizzy's braces and
the air conditioner.
Right!
O God, we're gonna have to get another
car. They're taking away the company car.
We'll get a used one, or lease.
What about Jeffries and Jeffries?
Didn't they want you for a while?
8 months ago.
Couldn't hurt to ask.
This second mortgage will kill us.
Katie really likes the pool.
We're gonna be ok. We'll just cut back
for a month or two.
Hopefully only be a month or two.
We'll be fine.
Ok, we're obviously gonna have
to cancel the trip to Hawaii.
Sure, I'll call today.
Good, what else?
The maid, the gardening service...
What about Katie's ballet?
The next payment is due on the first.
I really don't want her to miss that.
Could she maybe just take a
break for a month?
Well, she will not be
happy but she'll understand.
Honey, I just don't want to risk
missing a mortgage payment.
It's okay!
She'll be fine.
We'll take her to Jojo's tonight.
You want me to tell her?
No, I'll do it.
Here comes Daddy, tell him, tell him.
Guess what daddy... guess what!?
What?
Katie Johnston dropped out of class, so
my teacher gave me the lead in the recital.
Is that right?
That means I'm the second best in
the whole class.
No it doesn't, it means your the
first best...
the teacher just took too long
to realize it.
I'll be a swan.
I'm so proud of you, honey.
I get to perform in front of the whole
school, all alone.
Really?
She has a solo.
I cant believe it.
My little girl, up there performing
by her self.
I'm a swan.
The teacher said they might even put
it on public access tv.
Sound of bullet whizzing and hitting
pig and the pig squeels.
Package is food for pigs.
Sung, you see this?
Death is outside our door.
It was just a pig.
Look what it left.
It's just a little blood.
Go out there Sung ... go!
Hose down the deck.
Go away! You're gonna bring it in!
We just want some maple bars.
Go away, we're closed.
Hey, Cyr, you have to stop doing that.
Be quiet!
Cyr!
It's my store, we do what I want!
Where are you going?
Home.
I quit!
Good!
You're a dirty man
I'm better off without you!
Pig.
Sound of breaking glass.
This is the kind of thinking that
separates us from the apes.
Paradise found.
Norman.
What is it Dwight?
I am hereby requesting a leave
of absence.
You are!?
Yes.
An extended leave.
In Hawaii.
And it starts this Friday.
Fine, yeah, okay.
I'm gonna give you a big fat no
on that request.
Why?
Why?
Because I don't like you, because you want
it...
because you called me an *** and
a chicken.
So you can either get back to work...
or you can scamper off to your islands
and come back unemployed.
Well?
What's it gonna be?
You will soon lose a valued employee.
When?
Right now.
Aloha.
Aloha jag-off!
No, no, no. I don't have a phone yet.
I just moved into a new place.
Does that matter for you guys?
No, sir...
that's just for our records.
When do you want the Cable installed?
What's available?
Aloha!
Hello?
Hello?
Thanks for meeting me.
Sure.
It sounded so urgent.
Well, um, I was just so excited.
So uh...
Here.
What is this?
It's uh...
Hawaii...
Oh my god.
3 days in Maui, 4 on the Big Island.
I don't not know...
Mitchell, I don't know what to say.
I just thought that the best way for us
to get to know each other better...
would be to go away for a while.
I've never...
never been to Hawaii.
I've got a cousin there.
We'll go see him... her.
Him.. him!
I can't do this.
I can't go.
Why not?
I used you.
I used you to get Cable for my friends.
and if I took this ticket, I'd be
using you again.
And I can't.
I'm sorry.
I'm really, sorry.
It just wouldn't be fair for me to go
to Hawaii with you.
I don't have the same feelings as
you do.
Cookie: Your girlfriend is lying to you.
I'm scared too.
No, Mitchell, you don't understand.
I completely understand.
It's all very sudden I know...
but let's now worry about all that.
Let's just go to Hawaii and relax.
Mitchell no!
No strings, no obligations.
Just leave it to fate.
I do not know, I...
If nothing else, you owe it to your
cousin.
Hawaii.
Well...
C'mon Gwenn...
Just say yes.
Fine!
Fine.
Great!
Great!
Great!
I knew you'd say yes.
Oh you did, didn't you.
Should we get out of here?
Sure.
Hold up man.
Here you go.
Thank you.
Yes!
Seat 14A.
Seat 28D.
Seat 28E.
Seat 32D.
Seat 30D... cancelled!
Seat 30D.
I'm willing to create.
I'm willing to learn to let myself create.
I'm learning to create.
I'm willing to learn to let myself create.
I'm learning to create.
I'm willing...
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my God.
Wait!
Don't!
Don't!
Meter expires
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Stop!
Stop!
So much to live for.
A whole life in front...
New start...
Silver lining...
ice cream...
ball games...
Please... don't.
Who are you?
Just one person who wants you to live.
No! No!
Vultures! Vultures!
I see you, you vulture!
You want my blood?
Fine!
In a field of broken glass.
Here's...
some... blood!
Here's your blood money... Vultures!
Thank you.
Nice shirt!
Hi honey.
Hello.
Would you like some dinner?
I'd love some.
You would?
Sure.
Mmm, that's good.
I sauteed the spices first. It brings
out the flavor more.
I love it. Thank you honey.
It's really good!
Sound of love making and the
bed thumping.
Health inspector screaming.
Where's the other man?
He's hurt. I'm the substitute.
You're not a real inspector?
I'm real...
just on call.
No seniority, you know.
Are we gonna pass the test?
Well, just one more thing and...
Yep, you pass!
100% clean.
This is a wonderful day.
Sung will be so happy.
It's always nice when someone passes.
Thank you mister inspector, thank you
so much.
No problem at all.
Have a nice day.
Is he okay?
Are you Sung?
Yes.
Has Cyr done or eaten anything out
of the ordinary lately?
I don't know...
Been out of the country, have any
strange pets?
No, whats going on?
Quite frankly, I don't know.
Never seen anything like this.
He's got signs of Rabies, Malaria, Cholera,
Emphysema, Rubella, thrush, mumps...
and at least a dozen other
diseases.
Maybe two dozen.
Is he gonna be alright?
It's hard to say.
His systems are ravaged.
He's completely susceptible to anything.
I'm recommending we put him in hyper
isolation...
until he levels off.
You mean you're gonna...
We're putting him in a bubble.
Hey Cyr, how you doing?
Keep your head up, alright!
We'll get you out of there.
Listen Cyr, I have an uncle in Hawaii.
He's an herbalist.
Alright... I'm gonna go out there
and see him.
Maybe he can help.
I'm only gonna be gone for a few days.
So, in the meantime, just try and
get some rest.
Everythings gonna be ok.
Let's see...
I have one Friday afternoon...
departing LAX at 5:30...
and arriving in Honolulu at 7:45.
Great, I'll take it.
Your confirmation will be...
B as in boy, T as in Tom, 2X33.
Ok and I just pick up the ticket at
the airport, right?
Uh huh.
Ok, great. Thanks a lot!
Thank you for flying.
All Island Air, this is Stephanie, how
can I help you?
We want to go to Hawaii.
On Friday.
Let's see...
I have one seat on the 5:30 flight.
I can put your companion on standby.
Ernie... Ernie.
What's the duck say ?
Want to fly standby?
Yeah, sure, anything.
- Sure!
- Quack.
You'll both have the same confirmation
number..
that will be A as in Apple, B as
in Baker, 2X57.
Thanks.
Thank you.
All Island Air, this is Craig...
how may I help you?
Yeah, I'd like two tickets from Los
Angeles to Honolulu for this Friday.
Let me bring that up.
I understand you have an afternoon flight?
I'd like to be put on that one.
With a vegetarian meal please.
I'm sorry sir but that flight appears
to be full...
how about a flight the next day?
What do you mean it's full?
Well that means that all the seats
have been sold...
and there are none available.
That's a mistake.
Check again.
Sir, it's right here in front of me.
I know how this works!
You save the extra seats for celebrities.
Overbook me.
I can't sir. The computer won't allow
me to do that.
Are you a computer?
No.
Then book me, you moron.
Just a moment please.
No, I made all my other reservations
around this flight...
and was specifically assured that I would
have no problem getting a seat.
Don't try to weasel out of it now.
I'm sorry we are unable to satisfy
your travel needs.
Might I book you on another airline?
Hell no!
All my miles are on All Island Air.
Book me on the flight!
I'm sorry sir, but that flight appears
to be full.
Perhaps I can suggest an alternate
travel time.
Listen you ***.
I need to be on that flight.
Now either book me, or let
me speak to your supervisor.
Fine, but he's just gonna tell you the
same thing.
Don't patronize me!
- I'm not sir.
- You have no right to talk to me like that!
Are you mocking me?
Who are you to mock me?!
- Sir.
- Don't talk down to me!
I'm a human being.
My name is Seth.
You know what, I'm just
trying to do my job.
Don't talk down to me.
Is it your job to talk down to me?
Is it your job to treat people like cattle?
Yes!
That's my job.
Where's your supervisor?!
I want your supervisor!
You've got no right...
Listen, you freak!
I don't know what your problem is...
and I really don't give a rats ***!
But if you're too stupid to book an
earlier flight...
that's not my problem.
And it's also not my problem...
that you are a delusional weirdo...
with nothing better to do than to
call up people and scream at them.
Well how do you like it when it's back
at you, ***!
How do you like that!
Now I have a suggestion for you...
why don't you take one hand and pick
up the phone...
take the other hand and stick it
up your ***...
call another airline, cause you're not
getting on this... ***... flight!
Have a nice day!
Are they allowed to monitor the calls?
Their company. They can do what
they want.
They won't give you a second chance?
They said I wasn't suited
for customer service.
Oh, god... why this is happening to me?
It's okay.
No, it's not okay!
I can't even keep a telemarketing job!
That guy sounds like a jerk.
I think you did the right thing.
No, we need the money.
My paycheck will tide us over for a while.
We'll just cut back a little more.
I'm such a lousy provider.
You are not!
You've just had some bad luck.
You're gonna find something soon.
I know it.
Hey, hey... come on.
Come on.
We'll be fine.
You are a good husband.
And a wonderful father.
And that's all that matters.
I'm not a good husband.
Of course you are.
What's wrong, honey?
What's wrong?
Last fall...
Last fall, your cousin was in town...
and something happened.
You need to know about it.
It only happened once.
I am not hearing this.
I'm not hearing this.
She is my cousin, for god's sake.
She is my cousin, for god's sake.
I know.
I'm sorry.
She is my cousin, for god's sake.
Please...
I know...
I love you and don't know what happened.
Yeah well, I'm not gonna be so
supportive on this one.
Honey, I don't know what to tell you
except I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
You should go.
No, honey.
You should go.
Not today!
How can I help you, Annelle?
I just got this.
Gee, that's... angry.
I'd like to prosecute.
Yeah it is simple assault... and
a death threat.
A couple of them.
Sure.
Call it in.
Haunting, moody music playing.
Hey. Wallace Gregory?
Hey... Wallace Gregory?
Yeah.
Sir can you step down from the vehicle.
We need to talk to you a second.
Just right over here.
You're under arrest Mr. Gregory.
What for?
Well how about for making a
terrorist threat.
Sound familiar?
You make me sick.
No!
Marty.
Marty.
Just give me a minute.
Will you just give me a minute, please.
Marty, hey, Marty. Show
me what you're holding.
Show me what you're holding!
That's the wrong part.
That's been recalled!
It's defective!
It's okay.
Just ah, just get the right part.
It's in a blue box marked SL423.
Just get Antonio or Beth and have
them install it, ok?
Okay?
So, are you finished now?
Yeah, I'm done.
Let's go.
It's alright.
It's okay!
We caught it, ok?
It's alright!
It's okay.
Antonio, Beth, come look at this.
Good evening ladies and gentlemen.
This is your captain speaking.
We have now reached our cruising
altitude of 35,000 feet.
Where did it come from?
I want to apologize for the delay on the
ground earlier...
We had a little technical problem.
We got it cleared up and it should be
smooth sailing all the way to Hawaii.
So sit back and relax...
and enjoy the flight.
Thank you.
Hi, honey.
Yes I am.
Are you behaving for Christine?
Ok.
You be good and I"ll have a surprise
for you when I get home.
I don't know what it is.
Ok, I'll make sure.
Mommy's got to go now.
I love you too.
Bye bye.
**The kid that called the bug at the
beginning of the movie**
**Subtitles by Joe Shmoe adapted from
other's subtitles.**