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Hey guys. It's swankivy, coming to you from THE CLOSET.
And maybe you'll see the significance of this broadcast location in just a minute.
We're here with the Asexual Top Ten, and today we've entered the Top Three!
Number 3 will be my subject today. And, uh, the third most common response to "I'm asexual!" is
"No you're not. You're a lesbian."
Okay. So, um, let's see. Not liking men equals liking women in these people's minds.
And, um, I guess, uh, they can accept that I'm not into guys as long as they can transfer
my hypothetical attraction to *** onto a buried desire for ***. Because, of course, I'm repressed,
and, uh, not ready to accept that I'm a lesbian, so I just have to say that there's no attraction to either one.
Well, ya know, this is just a bunch of bull, because, um, I've had no attraction to any women,
just like I've never had an attraction to a man.
And, um, it's really about the same. I've considered the possibility that maybe I'm a lesbian,
but, about as much as I considered the possibility that I was heterosexual.
I realized either one could happen. And, ya know, to tell you the truth,
Um, it'd be a lot easier if I was gay. Ya know, it'd be so much easier to explain.
'Cause, um, the lesbian lifestyle and the whole concept of being gay is so much more readily accepted
than the concept of asexuality right now. People don't even believe it exists,
so sometimes, ya know, I talk to them about it, and it's a really long time before they believe me
if they ever believe me at all.
So, um, it can be a real pain in the butt.
So, anyway, I don't think I would have a hard time coming out if I happened to be a lesbian,
um, I have gay friends, I have a gay family member, ya know, it would be okay with everybody that I know.
And, um, so people say, "Well, how do you know you're not just repressed, how do you know that you're not just unwilling to come to terms with it?"
Well, here's . . . I'm gonna try to relate it for you.
I don't see people in a *** context.
And you can probably--uh, unless you wanna have sex with everything that moves--you can probably understand the concept
of not seeing a person, another person in a *** context.
The easiest example, of course, would be maybe a heterosexual man who has never had any bi-curious anything,
ya know, he's always known that he likes women, and he's never seen a man in a *** context,
and um, ya know, he never looked at another guy and thought, "I really wanna get a piece of that!"
Ya know, it would never occur to him, and it's the same way with me except it's with both.
I mean, quite honestly, if nobody had ever told me that I was supposed to be into guys,
it wouldn't have occurred to me, I really don't think it would have.
So, um, you know, if I didn't have the example of society to go by,
it's just not something that I would've ever thought, "Gee, I wanna try that," with either one.
And, um, people ask me, "How can you be sure?" And I really think that that's a ridiculous question,
because how are you "sure"? There are so many--there are very few people in the world who want to have sex with
old people, and ugly people, and, ya know, people of the sex that doesn't turn them on if they're not bisexual,
you know, just, um, everybody's not attracted to SOMETHING.
And, um, to get an idea of what it's like for me, maybe just imagine that response to everybody that you see.
So, um, I think, uh, people assume I'm repressed because, you know, I say that I don't have that interest,
ya know, they can't imagine not having that toward something.
Um, so, of course something that does come up often, in relation to this question,
is, they wanna know, um, "So do you ever get *** at all?
Even if you're not interested in other people, do you get ***, do you 'take care of it yourself' so to speak?"
You know, I hear this often, almost as often as "Yeah, well, you're just a lesbian,"
ya know, "Do you ***?" "Do you have orgasms?" Blah blah blah.
And, I think that there probably are some asexuals that do have *** fantasies of some kind,
and, ya know, probably "take care of them themselves," but, um,
I guess it's up to argument whether that person is still an asexual, 'cause that is a *** behavior,
but, ya know, it might just be that they like to touch their genitals because it is a, it's a physically pleasurable thing to them.
So, um, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're not asexual. But, you know, I guess
some people might say "Oh, that person would be considered an autosexual," or something like that,
I really don't know. And it's not up to me to say "that person isn't really asexual,"
"I'm asexual-er than thou," or something like that.
Um, but, you know, um, I went through the same thing that most little kids go through,
you know, when you discover, um, that you have . . . that you have genitals,
and, you know, my mom says that, ya know, she had to teach me, oh, you're not supposed to put your hands in your pants in public,
or whatever, but, ya know, that wasn't a traumatic experience or anything,
I wasn't shamed and told "Oh, your genitals are dirty" or anything,
and, ya know, if you've ever studied the, um, fixations that Freud came up with,
ya know, there's the oral fixation, there's the *** fixation, there's the genital fixation,
and most kids supposedly go through some kind of fixation schedule like that.
And, ya know, I was--I don't think I was an exception to that.
But it was--it's a stage in development.
And, um, anyway, as such, I don't have attractions, or any kind of, um . . .
response to other people that way. So, ya know, I can appreciate
the aesthetics of a nice-looking person, ya know, man or woman,
but nothing happens. And I don't have--I don't have a sex drive.
So, there's no reason for me to have any fantasies or, ya know, take care of them myself.
So anyway, um, I guess that's about as much as I can explain why I'm as sure as anybody else
that I'm not interested in other women.
But of course, like anything, it could change, and, um, I'm open to that possibility, of course.
Um, like I said in a previous video, it's not like I've sworn off it,
it's just that I've never had the interest in the past,
I don't have it now, and that's a good predictor for the future as far as I'm concerned.
So, ya know, I'm about as likely to wake up as a lesbian tomorrow as most married people who've been with their significant other for
thirty years, are likely to roll over and say, "Oh my God, I'm gay!"
Ya know, so. It's pretty unlikely. But, um, I think, uh, I might as well say,
if I ever do become a lesbian,
No, you can't watch. Bye.