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ADAM: Now, on Top Gear.
It's all about value.
Don't act like you're not impressed.
RUTLEDGE: Oh, yeah.
ADAM: Rutledge finds the car bargain of the year.
I'm coming for you, gramps.
ADAM: And we race 500 miles off the California coast
in cars we bought for $500.
-Blood stains... -Somebody died.
RUTLEDGE: The cheapest brand new car
you can buy in this country is around 11 grand.
And you can get a reliable used car for around 5,000 bucks.
But what happens if you have less than that to spend?
Much less.
Can you still get a car that works?
To find out, we were each given $500 to buy a car
and told to meet up in Santa Monica, California.
I used to flip cars in college and I've owned eight
that cost less than 500 bucks.
And I know what you're looking for.
You want cheap, reliable and simple.
Enter the Ford Festiva.
1,800 pounds of honest reliability.
Now it's got 227,000 miles on it,
but it's got a new engine in it.
So I think it's ready to go another 200,000 miles.
It may look like a total piece of crap,
but it's actually a huge piece of crap.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(LAUGHING)
Don't act like you're not impressed.
Oh, my God. What happened to this side?
That is not the pretty side...
That's the $500 side, clearly.
TANNER: This is a 190 E, 1989 staple of the Mercedes line-up.
This is back when they were really sweet.
I can't believe it.
And you found yourself a micro machine with 12 inch wheels.
These are pretty different from what we usually choose.
What's that gonna say about Adam?
I think Adam's still going to go for an old piece of crap.
-(LAUGHING) -Something big and old.
RUTLEDGE: Better than you can even imagine.
That is a taxi.
TANNER: Just when you think he couldn't make any worse decisions,
he goes out and he buys a taxi for $500.
Huh?
(LAUGHING)
ADAM: 1994 Ford Crown Victoria. The Workhorse.
TANNER: Look inside of this thing. Look at it.
I can't believe you kept the little bacteria sponge
on the steering wheel for one.
Look at the back seat. People have had sex in this car,
-they have thrown up in this car. -(RUTLEDGE GROANING)
How does it smell, Rutledge?
What's the huge stain from?
Look, he's got the nose of a German Shepherd.
What is it like in there?
-Bad. -This car carries human beings.
Human beings have fluids. Sometimes they get out. No big deal.
TANNER: How many miles are on this thing?
-425,000 thousand miles. -(LAUGHING)
You know how many times around the Earth that is?
No.
Okay, gentlemen. Let's see what we're doing with these hot-rods.
"The true test of your $500 cars is to race them 500 miles
"to Twin Peaks in San Francisco.
(LAUGHING)
"But first,
"cars this cheap are unreliable and sometimes need help.
"So to see who's chose the best cheap car,
"you'll race 100 yards across this parking lot,
"pushing your cars.
(LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY)
"First to the other end wins."
Oh, this is going to be fun.
First one to the black line, right there.
Okay. Who's going to call it?
Have you guys looked at the beach here?
-Yeah, it's nice. -It is... Ready, set, go!
You're already cheating. God.
(LAUGHING)
Oh, this is great.
-Adam, how's it goin' back there? -Goin' fine!
Just going for a little jog, fellas. Don't mind me.
Adam, you're gonna hit me.
(LAUGHING)
I think you helped me, Adam. Thank you.
The Festiva roars ahead.
1,800 pounds.
Pure awesomeness.
Hey, Hey, hey, hey, hey, look out. Don't... (GROANS EXASPERATEDLY)
Not cool, man.
-Oh, sorry, I hit you. -I beat you.
-I think he's driving it. -Seems like he's cheating.
-You won. You're happy? -Yeah. We got 500 miles.
It's like, you know, everybody gets a "trophy." So he won.
-Oh, that's nice. -TANNER: Good job.
We're going 500 miles. Get on the road, boys.
-Let's go. -ADAM: Let's do it.
-Mount up. -Just follow this winner of a car.
Yeah.
Winner.
ADAM: Rutledge may have won the first challenge,
but the race to San Francisco had just begun.
The first leg of the race would be
from Santa Monica to Santa Barbara.
Then through Santa Cruz to the finish in San Francisco.
The car that made it to Twin Peaks first, would win.
This route required our cars
to withstand long stretches of highway,
elevation changes and stop and go traffic.
The worst possible conditions for cheap cars.
And Tanner's Mercedes was not off to a good start.
(ENGINE STALLING)
Come on, come on. Don't go out this way.
I, on the other hand, was loving my ride.
There's something great about owning a $500 car.
You don't have to worry about payments. The insurance is low.
You don't care about dings or dents.
You don't have to worry where you park it.
You never have to wash it.
And if it breaks down, that's where you leave it and call a cab.
Which is kind of ironic.
Taxi cabs and law enforcement agencies love Crown Vics
'cause they're tough and easy to fix.
LA Police Department even has a frame straightener.
They go out, mangle these things up, bring 'em back to headquarters,
straighten out the frames, send 'em out again.
So how does my survivor drive?
I'll be honest with you. The suspension isn't tired, it's exhausted.
And there's a several minute delay between
steering input and actual turning.
Look at this. And I'm still going straight.
What do you want for 500 bucks?
And Tanner shows up in that Mercedes.
He looks like an ambassador from a sad, broke-*** country.
-(ENGINE STALLING) -You got it. You can do it.
-You can do it. You can do it. Yes! -(ENGINE STARTS)
(REVVING)
Oh.
My Mercedes finally came to life
and now I was in last place.
But that would be no problem for the Merc.
She may not have been as pretty as she once was,
but at least she wasn't ridiculous
like Rutledge's little toy car.
It's funny, if you look at cars throughout history,
there are a few that are really iconic
and they keep being made for years and years afterwards.
Like the original Volkswagen Beetle
was made up until the late 2000s in Mexico.
Or the Volkswagen Rabbit, the first one,
was still being made in South Africa and other places.
This car is still being produced in Iran.
Yup. Still being produced.
The reason this car is gonna make it the 500 miles is simple.
It's the best car here.
There's not a whole lot to this car,
but there's not a whole lot that can go wrong.
Keep gas in it, don't overheat it, change the oil.
The Ford Festiva.
But the best thing about my Festiva was that it was beating Tanner's Benz.
There are two things you never wanna touch with your bare hands.
A steering wheel in a $500 car,
and the remote control in a cheap hotel.
I'm just saying.
The advantage of buying a $500 car with leather,
or even vinyl, is that you can clean it.
The surface is made to repel bacteria.
-It's leather, it's the skin of a beast. -(RATTLING)
Okay, that is some serious vibration right there.
Let's just hope that it can go 500 miles.
My Mercedes may not have gotten off to the best start,
but for $500, she was doing great.
And it didn't take me long to catch up.
-(RATTLING) -Oh, (BLEEP)!
Oh.
How're those bumps, Rutledge?
Totally fine. Not checking my fillings right now at all.
(LAUGHING)
RUTLEDGE: We were surrounded by gorgeous scenery.
Driving on one of the most beautiful stretches of road in the world.
Perfect for luxurious sports cars.
And there we were.
If there's one thing I have plenty of in here,
it's dog hair. Oh, my God, that's gross.
(GROANS DISGUSTEDLY)
It's not much to look at,
and it's obviously, in some real disrepair.
The AC, not even remotely cold,
doesn't go very fast.
There's stains all over the seats and the floor.
The steering wheel smells terrible.
But as bad as my car was,
it was still better than the other cars.
It doesn't have nearly a half a million miles on it
that were driven by cabbies and police officers.
Ow!
It hasn't been waiting to be crushed in a junkyard,
like Tanner's Mercedes.
-(RATTLING) -Oh, my gosh.
It's a perfect cherry of a Ford Festiva.
TANNER: I was living my biggest nightmare.
Gorgeous winding roads ahead of me,
but stuck for miles in a no passing zone
behind the Crown Vic and Rutledge's little toy.
Both going way under the speed limit.
As soon as I saw an opening to pass them, I took it.
All right, finally getting to open the Mercedes up.
Sixty, sixty five, seventy...
(LAUGHING)
Oh, you know you're jealous.
Yeah! It's fast.
Battered, bruised and wheezy as the Merc was,
it still had some power left.
And I took the lead and won the first leg of the race to Santa Barbara.
What are we doing here?
Well, we've got these and this.
Okay, looks uncomfortable.
"A cheap car is only good as long as you can hold on to it.
"To see which of you chose the most secure vehicle,
"you will now attempt to break into each other's cars.
"Whoever can break-in first, wins."
I'll take the Festiva.
I'll take the taxi.
-Gives me that. -All right.
-We go now? -Go!
ADAM: We were racing up the Pacific Coast highway,
from LA to San Francisco in our $500 cars.
We'd made it to Santa Barbara, where we were challenged
to see whose car was least secure.
Whoever could break into the other's car first would win.
-Go! -Start right now?
Yeah.
You know how I know I'm gonna win?
Nobody would feel the need to design any kind of anti-theft device for this.
TANNER: Rutledge's car would be no problem to break into.
It's pretty much made completely out of plastic.
The taxi, looked a bit tougher.
But Adam would have the hardest time
with my German engineered Mercedes.
I gotta get this down in there.
There it is. Oh, I pushed it down.
Oh, I'm so close.
Come on. Come on.
Come on, get in there.
Oh... Oh... Oh, I got movement.
And then at some point you just get frustrated and you just
sort of shake it around.
(SIGHS) Enough of this.
Look at that. Look at that. Come on.
Breaking into a car with a coat hanger.
Adam, I am about to unlock the chamber of death here.
Yeah? Are you really that close?
Oh, yeah. I got the pin wigglin'...
-Adam! What... -RUTLEDGE: What the hell?
What's wrong with you?
-I win. -RUTLEDGE: That doesn't seem fair at all.
TANNER: No way. That doesn't count.
What, are you playing for second place? Come on, let's go.
Come on, come on.
Great, you got second place. Wonderful.
That's not second place. You broke the window on my car.
Yeah, I win. Let's go.
-RUTLEDGE: He cheated. -Are you kidding me?
-What? -TANNER: That does not count.
-Of course, it counts. -You just can't break the windows.
I got in. It said we had to get in.
Such a New Yorker.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING WILDLY)
How could you do that to my car?
Look, a challenge is a challenge. I got into the car. I win.
How is it that you've moved from destroying your own cars
to now destroying other people's cars?
I was given a challenge and I chose a method and it worked.
Like when you jumped the Coupe de Ville, you chose to bend it into a banana.
I chose to jump it. The Caddy bent itself when it landed.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
You killed it. But it turns out, you're not the only one
who's into killing off old Caddies.
GM is too.
RUTLEDGE: In 1999, with the brand dying off,
like most of its buyers,
Cadillac announced the new art and science philosophy.
A plan to get back to their roots
with cutting edge design and high-end technology.
Now, they didn't even have a car for it yet, just an attitude.
But it was a good attitude.
And this new approach put Cadillac performance
right up there with exotics like Ferrari.
So could a $60,000 Cadillac beat a $200,000 Ferrari
in a drag race?
There was only one way to find out.
But first, I would need to check out Cadillac's new beast.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Now this is a Cadillac you want to drive.
Old men who ride around with your blinkers on for miles,
watch out. I'm coming for you, gramps!
This is a 2011 Cadillac CTS-V.
It's got a Corvette engine in it,
but not just any Corvette.
The daddy of them all. The ZR-1.
It's got 556 supercharged horsepower under the hood.
It'll do zero to 60 in four seconds.
And it's got a top speed of 175 miles an hour.
How did this happen? How did Cadillac become cool again?
Cadillac's history is a lot like John Travolta's.
It was really cool at first.
And then all of a sudden, it became seriously uncool.
And then, ***, it was cool again.
I mean, this car? This is Cadillac's Pulp Fiction.
So they took out a sheet of paper,
and to me it looks like they didn't draw anything on it,
they just folded it.
I mean, there's curves, but they're all caught
in these sharp edges and creases.
This new look, this is what sets Cadillac apart.
The CTS.
The XLR, even the Escalade SUV.
And you know what? It looks fantastic.
And it wasn't all design.
The new Cadillacs would have something else to set them apart.
Performance.
Oh, yeah.
And it's got a manual six speed gearbox, standard.
You don't normally associate Cadillac with manual transmissions.
But in this one, it makes perfect sense.
I can smoke the tires at 100 miles an hour.
(LAUGHS)
This is American badass wrapped in Hugo Boss.
It's like John Wayne in a Tommy Hilfiger sweater.
Wow! You shouldn't be able to do this in a Cadillac.
Now there're some things about this car that I really like.
When you first get in the car, you notice the beautiful interior.
There's suede everywhere, there's nice leather stitching.
And then you look up
and see the same headliner that's in a Chevy truck.
Why does GM do that?
They get so close to making a perfect car
and then at the last minute, "Oh, just whatever."
"I don't care. No one's gonna look up."
Now one thing I don't like in here,
is the door handles on the CTS-V.
To get out, it's a strange video game remote door popper.
Just like they have in the Corvette.
And I don't like them there, either.
What's wrong? They call it a door handle.
Handle. Not door button.
But it's remarkable that you can get this much car for just $60,000.
And it gets even better.
For 2011, the CTS-V is available in three body styles.
All with the same manual transmission and monster supercharged engine.
The sedan will put you in the same league as a BMW M5
or the Mercedes E 63 AMG.
And the CTS-V Wagon?
Well, this just might be the world's first wagon supercar.
The Wagon? The fastest production wagon in the universe!
Wow! This car is amazing!
If it's not obvious by now, I am a wagon man.
There's something about a wagon, to me
that screams, "I'm ready for anything."
And this is the perfect kind of wagon that I'd want.
Can you imagine going shopping in a wagon
with over 500 horsepower?
You can do a burnout all the way home from the mall
while your kids are in the back screaming.
That's awesome.
Cadillac has developed an incredible new line
of high performance vehicles.
I can understand why some, mainly old people,
might think that the CTS-Vs are too much of a departure
from the old Caddies. But I think they can be convinced.
(HONKS)
(LAUGHS)
RUTLEDGE: Driving Miss Ferrara?
Can I get your bags for you, sir?
No problem, I have people for that.
What in the world is this?
This is a statement, my friend.
1957 Eldorado Biarritz.
That's when a Cadillac was a Cadillac.
No way. This is the new Cadillac, all right?
-Uh-huh. -The 2011 CTS-V.
You can get a two door, four door or a wagon.
-Back up, back up. Wagon? -Oh, yeah.
How was the soccer game?
-It's amazing. -Really?
This says, "You've arrived."
That says, "You've arrived from summer camp with the kids."
What're you doing?
They are the new Cadillac.
Okay, look, I'll be honest with you. I've been burned by Caddies before.
The last great Caddy for me was the '76 Coupe de Ville.
After that, Caddies got smaller and then just went right down the toilet.
RUTLEDGE: Adam wasn't convinced.
So I needed to resort to a simple demonstration that even he might understand.
A drag race.
The $200,000 Ferrari California against the CTS-V...
...Wagon.
An American grocery getter
versus the world's most famous Italian performance brand.
Ferrari California isn't the fastest Ferrari,
but it does zero to 60 in 3.8 seconds,
top speed of 193...
-Let's do it. -(OVER RADIO) Okay, here we go.
Three, two, one, go.
(TIRES SQUEALING)
Oh, here we go.
Oh! (LAUGHS) Oh, man.
The CTS-V Wagon is smokin' him.
Oh, look at that. I got him!
Whoo!
Holy crap!
The Wagon just beat a Ferrari!
Which is a stupid fast car.
That means this is faster than stupid fast.
This is "FU" fast.
RUTLEDGE: Oh, look at that!
The Wagon just beat a Ferrari!
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Driving those Cadillacs was a blast.
I bet for once, you're jealous.
I was. That looked like a lot of fun.
But, really? Cadillac? An old man brand,
now saying they rival the fastest cars on the planet?
I'm not buying it.
Now see, that's exactly why we gave the Coupe and the Wagon
to our anonymous racing driver, The Stig
to put around our test track and see how fast they really are.
TANNER: Now The Stig drove the CTS-V Coupe earlier
and we'll show you that time in a minute.
But Rutledge insisted on showing The Stig driving the Wagon.
(REVVING)
Shocking. Let's see how The Stig does.
All right. Well, Rutledge may worship this as the ultimate Wagon,
but at the hands of The Stig, I think we'll see some chinks in the armor.
Strangely, poised actually, very quick coming around the first turn
into the chicane. I was expecting to see quite a bit more body roll-up.
Now this is the true test.
Out of the teardrop, slowest section of the track.
Will it have wheelspin or be officially putting the power to the ground?
I would say that is a no.
Wheels are blazing on the way out of the teardrop,
but building huge speed as it comes around the fastest, back straightaway.
Over 120 miles an hour, we see on the speedometer...
Very fast by the tires.
Wow. Amazing, beautiful little drift
as the car just seems to absorb the bumps mid-drift.
I'm really impressed with the way the suspension is working.
It's just getting around the track. It may not be the most sophisticated
but as it comes through the last corner, a bit of a drift and...
Across the line.
Wow! That is the fastest wagon I've ever seen.
What do you guys think? The Wagon faster than the Coupe?
-Coupe faster? -(ALL AGREEING)
-Coupe's faster than the Wagon? -(ALL AGREEING)
You think... The Coupe has gotta be faster than the Wagon.
So, the Coupe did it in a time of 1:27.4.
That puts it ahead of a Mercedes SLS AMG.
Wow!
That's a quarter million dollar car right there.
Wow! Their supercar just got beat by an American car.
-That can't be right. Really? -Wow.
-That feels good. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
Now, if the Wagon was just even a second or two slower,
it still would be in respectable territory.
You've got the Lotus Evora down here, you've got the V12 Vantage.
The Wagon did it in a time of 1:27.2.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
-Two tenths faster. -Faster?
Faster than the Coupe!
-Unbelievable. -That is unreal,
especially for the money. I mean, these are both right around 60 grand.
Wow.
Incredible. And that's only slightly better value than our $500 cars.
RUTLEDGE: So far, our junky jalopies had raced hundreds of miles
up the California coast towards San Francisco.
My Festiva was doing great.
So I hammered down and tried to pull ahead.
Gas it. Gas it!
Oh. Oh.
My car smells like a pack of burning matches.
Apparently, I didn't have the power I needed to make my move,
so Adam was now in front.
I'm flying along at 65 miles an hour.
As long as I don't turn, I'm fine.
If Adam's life insurance carrier knew he was driving
a retired taxi with 400,000 miles on it,
they would drop him like a bad habit.
ADAM: Tanner was gonna have to get used to seeing my taillights.
I was the first to arrive at our next stop in Santa Cruz,
where we received some unwelcome information about our cars.
All right, fellas, pay attention.
"Buying cheap cars means buying a piece of history,
"often one you would rather not sit in.
"Your cars were subject to forensic analysis."
-Really? -"Least contaminated car wins."
That's what these envelopes are?
-Must be. -I think so.
Oh, no.
I'll go first. I have total confidence
in the Festiva. Here we go.
"Hair of non-human origin."
Right in there?
"Variable length and color found in large quantities.
"Visible under ultraviolet.
"Overlapping stain fields of organic origin,
"concentrations of ammonia and fructose consistent with urine,
"and seminal fluid."
Wait, stain fields?
That is dog breeding that goes on in there.
Fields of animal fluids in the back of that?
-(GROANS DISGUSTEDLY) -"Traces of fecal matter."
Oh, that's so gross.
Well, could be worse.
Yeah, there could be human and dog fluids in there.
Oh, like you should talk. What's yours say?
Okay. "Present in both left and right rear footwells,
"are dispersed areas of dried substance,
"with concentrations of HCL."
Hydrochloric acid.
"Consistent with vomitis."
Stomach acid.
"UV analysis of the rear bench seat reveals bloodstains,
"in the underlying foam covering approximately
"one third of the seating area."
-Okay... -One third of the seating area...
-They were bleeding to death. -Somebody died.
Someone could've had a baby in there. You don't know.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, if it's down in the foam, it got hosed.
Which means it's not on the cover anymore, so it's fine.
(LAUGHING)
All right. What do you got?
Mines gonna be boring. This car's clean.
Yeah, it looks so tidy.
Uh, there's a few more sentences here than I would've expected, actually.
"Moderate quantities of nasal mucousa
"found on the steering wheel."
Snot.
"Protein..." Anything that starts with, "Protein rich,"
-I'm telling you, is bad. -(LAUGHING)
"Protein rich substance found in crevices
"of driver's seat cushion.
"High concentration of dead skin cells
"and presence of staphylococcus bacteria."
-Oh, no way. -Oh!
Your car has a staph infection.
You drink some orange juice, you'll knock that right out.
A staph infection right on the steering wheel.
I mean, I'm not like a hypochondriac, but...
-Actually, you are. -That is gross.
-Clearly, you lose. -Yeah, you're out.
-How did it get on the steering wheel? -You're done.
You're probably gonna die. Look, I win.
You do... You do not win.
-Of course, I win. -You're soaked in blood.
Blood and puke. What do you expect to be in a cab?
-All right, all right. -I got two words.
"Boundary layer." That's what's happening now.
-Really? -Yeah.
All right. Twenty minutes. We'll meet back here.
-Oh, my gosh. -Make whatever boundary layers you want.
And then head back to San Francisco, all right?
-All right. -Okay.
-I'm starting to feel a little better now. -I'm in.
Rut, you might wanna get a flea collar.
It's just traces of fecal matter.
Oh, that's much better.
-Traces. -I thought there was a problem.
Now, it's time for "Big Star, Small Car,"
where we put celebrities in our Suzuki SX4
and send them around the test track to see who's got the fastest time.
Our celebrity today is Maroon 5's Adam Levine.
(CROWD CHEERING)
(WHOOPS)
-Welcome, man. -How you doing, man?
We're so excited you could be here.
I am very excited to be here.
Now, we've had some musicians do well here before.
Do you feel like today you're going to the top of the board?
Uh, if you ain't first, you're last.
(CROWD LAUGHING)
Well, let's get you out there, man. Let's go for it.
-Hop on in. -All right. Let's do it.
Good luck. We're going to clear the track.
We'll meet you back at the hangar.
-Go get 'em. -All right.
-Let's go, you guys. -(CROWD CHEERING)
RUTLEDGE: Look at that determination.
Adam's off to a good start.
-Catching second. -Come on.
What is up with this (BLEEP), man?
Coming up to turn one, getting a little intense.
Sorry, this is gonna be all sound bites of me just cursing 'cause I'm so pissed off.
Damn it, dude.
So annoying.
RUTLEDGE: It's easy to get flustered out there.
(BLEEPING)
Damn it, dude! Dude...
(BLEEP), dude!
RUTLEDGE: Suzuki does that to a lot of people.
All right, he's got some good speed out on the back stretch.
Looks good right there, nice and smooth.
Good speed, a little understeer.
Does third gear exist?
RUTLEDGE: I think it does, it's in between second and fourth.
Here it is. Last turn and Adam is across the line.
(BLEEP)
-RUTLEDGE: And he's still smiling. -(LAUGHING)
(AUDIENCE CHEERING WILDLY)
RUTLEDGE: Come on up. Come on up.
Adam Levine, everybody.
How you doing man? Nice work out there.
-Did you have a good time? -I had a lot of fun.
(NERVOUSLY) Just hope that I'm not last.
Look, let's talk. You're a busy man. One of the judges on The Voice. Great show.
-Thank you. -You're in a hugely popular band.
Maroon 5. I wanna know, how did you get into cars?
I've always enjoyed driving, you know.
I'm from... I was born and raised in Los Angeles,
so I've always been... It's always a huge part of
California culture, I think, is driving and enjoying your car.
It's kind of your sanctuary, it's your space.
And I just love it. East Coast people don't understand.
'Cause they... They don't.
'Cause they're like, "Oh, subway... Taxi."
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
Your first car was what?
My first car was a 1971 Mach 1. Mustang Mach 1.
-A Mach 1. -Yeah.
And I didn't really know anything...
I still don't know anything about cars,
but I just thought it would be a beautiful thing
and I loved it and I started getting really into it.
Of course, it snowballed out of control.
And now, here I am, racing Suzukis.
-It's a natural progression... -Quite a big...
-...Mach 1 to Suzuki. -Exactly.
Did your car path help you with the ladies at all?
Not originally.
Not when I was driving my mom's awesome
bright red Jeep Cherokee to school.
That didn't get me any dates with the ladies.
-Did not? -But I loved that car. That car is badass.
The coolest car that I've ever owned is still...
My dad gave me his... He had like an '86 Jimmy? GMC Jimmy?
-Yeah. -It was black and had a red stripe on it.
It's still the coolest car to this day, like, you know.
I think... It just has, you know, had history to it.
Sure. And what was that beautiful car you drove in this morning?
That was an Aston Martin. That was a DB9.
-A DB9? -(CROWD CHEERING)
Yeah. Got some fans.
I love that car, man.
My buddies and I always take that car out to Vegas, you know,
so we can drive quickly, and...
I've been pulled over many, many times in that car. (LAUGHS)
I've been pulled over actually about six times in that car
and I've never gotten a ticket 'cause...
-How do you do that? -This is so stupid to do on television.
'Cause I got pulled over once on the way to Vegas.
I was probably going about 95 miles per hour
and in that car, I mean, it feels like you're just getting started
but clearly to... You know, there are laws against speeding.
So this cop pulled me over and he kind of looked at me for a minute and...
This is on the way to Vegas.
He kind of looked at me for a minute and was like,
"I'll be right back." And he goes to his car and he comes back.
And I'm thinking, "Oh great, I'm going to jail."
Reckless driving, you know. I'm dead.
-He's taking my car away. I'm freaking out. -(LAUGHING)
And he just looks at me and he goes,
"I should arrest you, but, my wife's a big fan, so..."
(ALL LAUGHING)
"She'll kill me, if I arrest you." And I was like,
"Thank God for your wife, sir."
That is awesome!
So, Adam, how do you think you did?
All right, here's where I'm gonna make excuses
and *** and moan about it but I'm gonna do it
-'cause I think I should. -Sure.
Uh, I didn't have really, the full amount of time...
-I didn't have the total amount of time... -I didn't.
-I just... I'm very busy... -I will stab you.
You... Bring it. Bring it.
You went out there, in the Suzuki. You felt good though, right?
I started feeling good, I mean, you know, I got some lessons
and started learning and I... Just when I started getting comfortable
I have to leave.
You give me 30 minutes, I'll give you number one.
ALL: Ooh!
Wow. You guys wanna see his time?
-ALL: Yeah! -All right.
Here we go.
Adam Levine, you did it
in 1:49.2.
(CROWD GROANING)
-Boo! -Right there.
You're between two pawn stars.
Aw, look at... Disappointment!
Well, I mean... Here's...
I'm very proud of my very quick progress.
However, I am disappointed, 'cause I swear to you,
every one, I was shaving whole seconds off,
so I could've gotten down there, man.
There's no doubt in my mind.
-I agree. -Right here, man.
-I agree. -Right here and right here.
It's all there. That's all you needed, right?
Don't you play the (BLEEP) violin with me.
(ALL LAUGHING)
You guys, let's give Adam a hand. Come on.
(CROWD CHEERING)
-Last question for you. -Yeah.
Have you ever bought a car for 500 bucks?
Uh, I've never paid $500 for a car.
Yeah, and we're about to see why that's a good thing.
We're going to get back to our $500 challenge.
ADAM: We were 300 miles into our journey.
And had just received the disgusting results
of a forensic test on our cars.
"Overlapping stain fields."
-"Vomitus." -"Nasal mucosa."
-"Blood stains..." -"Staphylococcus bacteria..."
"Urine and seminal fluids."
ADAM: So we decided to protect ourselves with whatever we could find.
-No! -Hey.
"Hey?" You look ridiculous. What is that?
It's a protective suit.
We're at the beach. This is the best I could find, man.
That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
I was wrong.
Morons.
-Let's do this. -All right.
Let's go.
May not have thought this all the way through.
ADAM: We only had 73 miles to go
to complete our 500 mile journey in our $500 cars,
which had just been proven to be rolling biohazards.
To be honest with you, the forensic report
didn't tell me anything I didn't already know.
There's blood and puke in a cab.
You come to expect that, so...
I bought the gloves so I don't have to touch anything.
I have the traditional beaded cabbie seat.
So I don't have to sit, actually
on the germ infected velour.
And uh... Ah.
Incense, to get rid of that, kind of smell.
There we go.
RUTLEDGE: After getting that report,
I really feel like I came up with a great solution.
I mean, I needed a barrier between me and all the nastiness and...
This vinyl seems to be doing the trick.
I'm noticing my peripheral is slightly distorted with this costume.
As if you ever had peripheral vision.
Ha!
You sound awesome.
I can't help but feel incredibly drowsy in this mask.
(MOCK SLURRING) I gotta just... I gotta say that.
(LAUGHING)
TANNER: Uh, I'm totally falling asleep.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
TANNER: I did feel quite a bit better, though, with the boundary layer.
The rubber gloves are probably the key because the hands are gonna be
scratching itches on the nose, rubbing the eyes, things like that.
As long as you got that boundary layer. In fact,
everybody should be carrying a boundary layer in their car.
Adam, which would you take?
A bath of pus and snot or blood and vomit?
Is it my *** and snot and my blood and vomit?
TANNER: Random people.
Sick people or healthy people?
Taxi cab drivers and patrons of said taxi.
I'll take drunk vomit.
You guys ever listen to what you're saying?
Come on baby, third gear. There it is.
TANNER: How're you doing on power there, Rut?
Are you floored right now?
Going downhill, 68 miles an hour?
Come on, Rut, pick it up.
Power!
No!
ADAM: Hey, Rut, your car is shedding.
Sure, you might be disgusting to ride in
and you're not much to look at, Festiva, but damn it,
you're gonna make it 500 miles.
That is, as long as I didn't hit traffic.
(HORNS HONKING)
RUTLEDGE: Oh, boy.
This is going to get hairy as (BLEEP).
TANNER: After nearly 500 miles in our $500 cars,
we'd reached San Francisco...
Almost.
We were only four miles from the finish line.
(HORNS HONKING)
But it was rush hour.
And stop and go traffic was not friendly
to the tired engines in our clunkers.
RUTLEDGE: Oh, boy.
This is going to get hairy as (BLEEP).
Oh, something is burning on this thing.
It's starting to stall, every time I stop.
I don't know if it's because it's gotten so warm.
The gauge doesn't say that it's warm,
but I can smell that it's warm, though.
Uh, airport, please.
Oh! Oh! No way. Somebody just climbed in, Adam.
Uh, I'm not working.
Did that guy just try to get in your car as a taxi?
Yeah!
Does he know what he just sat in?
I don't think so.
Although he does appear to be scratching.
(LAUGHING)
I could've made 45 bucks taking him to the airport.
I should've taken him.
RUTLEDGE: The deeper we got into the city,
the more my Festiva began to struggle.
So my clutch is going.
I've got valves tapping and now my blinkers don't work.
(CONTINUOUS HONKING)
And you can probably tell, my horn won't stop honking.
Seriously, Rut? Come on. Enough with the horn.
It's not me, it's stuck.
ADAM: Rut's horn was broken,
so we decided to help him fix it.
Tanner, you wanna play Festiva tennis?
-Please no. -Yeah, okay.
Oh, (BLEEPING).
Come on.
-Your shot. -Service!
-Oh! Ow! -(HONKING CONTINUES)
(ALL LAUGHING)
(BLEEP) hate you guys.
-Going for the volley. -RUTLEDGE: Oh!
(LAUGHING)
Come on!
Uh, green light. Green light.
RUTLEDGE: I hate you both, so much right now.
Hey. I love your town.
(GEARS CRANKING)
Yeah, I think my clutch just went.
Funny, guys?
(BELLS RINGING)
You're kiddin'?
See ya later, alligator.
Son of a ***!
(HORNS HONKING)
Really? Come on.
Oh, (BLEEP)!
And it only weighs 1,600 pounds.
Remember the big victory dance when he won the push race?
Now he can do it uphill in an alligator suit.
(LAUGHING)
I lost my tail. Let me just get that.
(PANTING) Okay.
Okay.
TANNER: All right, we got some steep hills here.
We better be getting to Twin Peaks soon.
Hold on, baby, come on. We're almost there.
The race was down to me and Tanner.
He may be a professional driver,
but my car had more power
and I was riding his tail like a real taxi driver.
Downshift, baby, come on.
Oh, yeah. Feel the power, feel the power!
(REVVING)
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
Almost there.
Done. Done. (SING-SONG VOICE) Done!
(GEARS CRANKING)
No, no, no, no, no, no. Keep going, keep going.
No! Come on, go, go, go, go.
(STALLING)
Hold on.
(ADAM LAUGHING)
"My Mercedes is the taxi of the world.
"This is German engineering."
And that Festiva, a rolling petshop burns out it's clutch.
But the Crown Victoria
with 426,000 miles,
has gone another 500 miles
at 35 cents a mile.
Yes! Yes, we did it!
Tanner! Tanner!
I guess you know, I won.
(LAUGHING)
For 45 bucks, I can take you to the airport!
TANNER: Forty five bucks seems a little bit steep.
ADAM: In a Crown Vic!
(GUFFAWS)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Ladies and gentlemen, the Crown Victoria.
RUTLEDGE: I mean, I gotta give it up. That car is really something.
Mmm-hmm.
I mean, especially when you consider all the extras that came for free.
-The vomit. The... -Blood.
And the urine.
Oh, and the victory.
You know, the real victory here is for once we found a car
that you can't kill in a show.
Let's hear it for Adam. He had a car last the whole show.
-(CROWD CHEERING) -RUTLEDGE: Yes! Finally!
Unbelievable.
RUTLEDGE: I think the real lesson here
is that you should drive a Crown Victoria every day.
Okay, and then you drive this pet wagon every day.
I think just standing next to this car is taking years off our lives.
We have got to get out of here.
That's our show. Thanks for watching, everybody.
-Thank you very much! -(CROWD CHEERING)
(INAUDIBLE)