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\f0\fs36 \cf0 Yo whats up youtube. So, today I wanted to talk - hold on.\
\ Hello? Yo, whats up? It was real nice seeing
you last night. Yea, that was hilarious. I was so glad I got to see it with you though.\
\ You know thats good, that's good. I'm glad
to hear that. \ \
So look, I feel like we are both two reasonable adults who like one another. You know, I'm
feelin' you and you feelin' me, right? I mean, you seem like it.\
\ Yea. No - I promise you, I am not an ex con
or one on the run or nothin' like that. Trust me..But.. I-I do still have something to tell
you. Um.. *pause*\ \
Um, well yea, actually, I was assigned female at birth. I've been in transition for - Damn.
Straight hung up on me. \ \
Can't get them all, right?\ \
Look, sometimes we never even get that far before we tell them or they find out, and
they instantly decide to cut us off. It sucks, I know it does. And to think, being ignored
or called a freak is what we can hope for if they do say no. It sometimes make you wish
you weren't trans, right? I know. I hate that *** too. Being turned down immediately because
of it. Not even being given a chance.\ \
So they don't date transsexuals. I don't let that get me down, because I know for every
person who says no, there is someone out there who will say yes, even someone who thought
they would have said no before.\ \
Now, I cant tell you how to tell someone because it depends on a lot of variables, and really,
how YOU feel about the situation between you two -- or three -- how ever many. So lets
not even begin that conversation because theres tons of videos and blogs on that topic already.
And I already discussed that in a previous video, Disclosure. I'll link it in the box
if you would like to acually view that video. But lets continue on this current topic. \
\ But what I DO want to talk about, is how to
deal with that and accepting being trans. I know for a lot of people, they are still
struggling with coming to terms with being trans and not cis. But listen, stop othering
yourself. I know, why would you do that in the first place, right? But if you just listen
to the things you tell yourself and look at how you compare yourself to other guys, and
you may find that you do in fact have internalized transphobia. You need to work on that. It
can happen to any of us, especially when taught these things from an early age and growing
up seeing things like Jerry Springer and.... you get the gist of what I'm saying right?
But there is sometimes an underlying feeling of resentment towards being trans. You know,
it comes with the experiences, I guess. \ \
But look, I look at it this way. \ Even if I was born Cis, I could have still
had some type of bodily issue, one way or another - Hell, I might not have even made
it to 22 years old. I figure, this is the life I was given and the life I have made,
so, I would rather work with it, rather than fight it. \
\ Next, being cis does not guarantee you a date.
Stop thinking of yourself as less than because you are trans or thinking that you can't get
anyone because you're trans. Yea, you are different, just like every cis dude is different
from the next. Everyone is unique, but don't allow people to tell you that your circumstances
are shameful or bad in some kind of way\ \
And finally, I take no offense to someone saying they dont date trans people. Yea, I
may question them and ask them WHY they say that. I take no offense because I see it as
any other dating preference. Some people like red heads, short people. Some people like
them chubby - some like them tall. You know, and some people happen to like trans guys
specifically. Even if, what does it matter for my life to be mad about someone else's
dating preferences?\ \
Look, it doesn't always end that way when you come out to someone\
\ When I first started out, I went into a lot
of situations completely worried and just so engrossed in my thoughts that I couldn't
even enjoy myself -- and because I wasn't enjoying myself, they couldn't enjoy me neither.\
\ But now, I am rarely rejected or shunned because
of it and I know my experience is not everyone else's and your mileage may very. But I want
you to keep your heads up and remain optimistic and hold fast to the fact that there IS someone
out there for you. \ \
But let me tell you, you wont find it or be in your best condition if you spend all of
your time moping about every no you've received or think you might receive. Do you really
think EVERY cis guy or woman in the world has always received a yes? They get turned
down by \i other
\i0 cis people all the time and for various reasons, but they keep trying until they eventually
do hear a yes. Its nothing exclusive to you as a trans or gender non conforming person.
It happens to everyone. \ \
So don't get your undies in a bunch about being rejected. I know it can become emotionally
draining, but you have to stop worrying about that and stop holding on to it so much. Because
I feel like, there is a lot of life out here to experience and it doesn't necessarily require
someone else to enjoy it. Enjoy yourself. I spend a lot of time alone, and I make myself
laugh all the time. \ \
So what I want to say is, don't get so down on yourself about it. Dating, its not easy
for anybody. So you might see the guy who talks a lot of stuff and maybe even actually
does receive a lot of attention, but here's the difference between you two. You are not
him, and he is not you. \ \
You gotta work with yourself. And what I began to realize, is that the more confidence I
grew and had in myself, the higher my chances of receiving a yes was. If you go up to someone
and you have all of these reservations, you're worried and holding back rather than enjoying
yourself and helping them enjoy you, they can sense that energy and it becomes reciprocated.
So you have to be cool with yourself. You gotta accept who you are and own that ***.
Like, I tell anybody, no matter what your circumstances are, own that ***. People cant
even be mad at you if you own it and you do you. For real. Are you hearing me right now?
Like, seriously. Own it. Work it, yo. Kill it.\
\ So like I said, it doesn't always end badly.
Put your best foot forward and hope it works out. You gotta take that chance and show them
who you are, just like you would have to do even if you werent trans. So just remember
that for every person who says no, you're just getting closer to the person who says
yes. So -- \ \
*PHONE RINGS* Hold on.\ \
Yea, it was nice to see you again. Its been awhile, I know. I look mad different from
when we first met.\ \
Oh god, dont say that name! Please dont! lol \
\ You know, thought you werent going to be cool.
You know, I thought you werent going to hit me back after I told you. Yea like, I really
wasnt expecting that, I have to be honest. Cuz like, I was talking to somebody else awhile
ago and they just straight hung up on me. Like, that was it.\
\ Oh yea, its been about two years now. My folks
are cool with it actually. Yea, my mom use to have me in those pink dresses and ***.
\ \
peace\ }