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[Cough][Cough] [Cough][Cough]
Call Tech Support
Hello, thank you for contacting OIT LifeOS help desk. my name is 1383 How are you today?
Hi, my life has recently been compromised and ...
I don't know what to do. Can you help?
Of course, we have different measures depending on how severe the compromised is.
What kinds of problems are you experiencing?
I think my lifeOS has a virus.
God DAM transports...
You gotta be more careful next time. Caught you again.
Can't be saving your *** all the time.
You done yet?
I've noticed
that my life
is running
really slowly at the moment
it takes me For-r-r-ever
to get
things done
sometimes
sometimes I just get
so overwhelmed that
I - I - I - force quit
force quit everything
So my personal life-information
I think it's also been leaked
cause
some people know
secrets
that are ... really annoying
and
also after installing a third party comp-program
that promised
my life more happiness
I got this
horrible flu
And what exactly were you doing with your Operating System at the time?
[Dramatic music]
[groans]
[bottle hitting floor]
Hey whachu need? whachu need?
YO!
Yo need help? Whatchu need?
Uhh ... I need some books.
BOOKS?!
I got books
What class
uhh...CompLit YEAH, you got that paper tomorrow... Okay Okay!
Brave New World? We? Crash Dome?
1984?
You know it's gonna cost you right? Well... I...need...
all of them So how much is that gonna be?
I only take credits
no memories
and for you, for asking
It's gonna be 300
300!? I don't have that- -[Shh][Shh]
This is all I have!
What LifeOS version you runnin'?
I'm the latest version, 4.2.1
College b****es. Jack up!
NO
How many tonight?
[Scoffs] Just ten. One paper, one exam.
Aight, we're done
I ain't got that book the island yet,
but you'll be back.
They always come back
Oh, and don't give your opinion in discussion
There are others, they'll find out
lifeOS://transport/sketchy.underground.meetingplace: -t 0 -f/now
Thats not enough! The plan needs-
I know what the plan needs man
don't worry, I got it.
Make sure you meet the quota next time
[Laugh] Quota? Quota?
You know how long it's been?
It's been three years since the occupy UMass riots, and now what?
These kids are so lucky they've been living in their own perfect little world; ever since the Chancellor and OIT decided to subsidize the operation.
[Scoff]
And it's not even enough with the infrastructure.
You know UMASS-SECURE1X?
[Laugh] Yea, mad easy to crack
Yea well, now they can see and control everything.
They're in your mind.
Your memories,
your emotions
Even you class schedu- [Drink spilling]
[Inaudible complaining]
Oh my, your issue sounds quite severe.
I would recommend a B-F-R of your life.
A B-F-R stands for backup, format, and reinstall
This process will back up all your memories and experiences
Then, we will wipe your life from the system
Finally, we will set you up with a new life
with a majority of your memories, and experiences of your old life intact.
It sounds expensive?
Not at all. With your affiliation with the University of Massachusetts, your total cost would only amount to fifty credits.
Mind you that we DO NOT back up any music or movies, for copyright and legality issues.
I guess that's okay, how long will it take?
Well we cannot guaruntee time
but usually about 3-5 business days. We take walk in appointments as well as
scheduled services and you may begin immediately [fade out]
Network? Yea...
mad easy to crack
Ya ... Well now they can see and control everything.
they in your mind
your memories
they can control your emotions
even your class schedules I'm just glad we both quit.
Done
Shouldn't keep on undoing like that
You'll loose data HA-HA!
I upload now.
all my memories are in the southwest data towers
Can't believe you still use those things
Maybe that's why you can't keep up your quota Quota?! Ah-ha!
How bout you?
Business is good. :)
[Music crescendo] FIN.