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but I get I get it and I've heard this from lots of other men and and there's a
fine line between you know understanding how we as women feel and what we go
through but we also have to remember that our partners are affected by this
thanks so much for tuning into our second act with Paige and Silke for
your second act of life hey Silke hi Paige glad to have you back
for today's show I think we're gonna hopefully bring some really good
information to some men today who desperately need it ... a couple of
years back we did a video about menopause and how are men affected and
you know we received huh gosh hundreds hundreds of comments and I went through
some of them because they're still coming in and we got one that you know
as I shared with you my god you know we need to address this topic again because
we've stayed away for it for a while so here's the comment that we got and let's
see if our male viewers can identify with this here I'll read it this is real
exclamation exclamation I do not know how to convince my wife to get treated
with the freaking hormones exclamation exclamation either that or I have to
bring in a priest to perform an exorcism more exclamation there are no videos of
how men should deal with menopause or can deal with menopause help me please
in the last attack I actually feared for my life man this is crazy I feel like
the kid in the shining help ...funny you should say that cuz I'm just getting a
hot flash right now so this is perfect timing and I'm not kidding whoo you know
it's it's again I I know in no way making fun of this man's comments I
think he obviously said some some things in jest but I get I get it and I've
heard this from lots of other men and and there's a fine line between you know
understanding how we as women feel and what we go through but we also have to
remember that our partners are affected by this Paige how do you do it deal with
this with the people that you work with we know it's interesting not only for
the people that I work with but my husband and I have going through this
too and just like last week he had said are these like hot flashes and
the mood swings how long do they last and I went well there was new updated
research stating that menopause could last for women 60s to their 70s to their
80s so everybody's individual and I'm not a doctor but it's once again how do
women cope but more importantly for this segment how do men cope because it's a
really difficult thing and I can tell you that for my my patients and my
husband you know we've talked about there's different books that they can
read about like what goes on in a woman's body because what I found is if
somebody understands that this is real and this is what happens
a man is a little bit more inclined to be more patient understanding but there
also has to be more communication between both as far as what she's
experiencing and then the man needs to say what he's experiencing and how do
they work together during menopause is it is a very challenging time for both
in different ways yeah and there isn't a place for men you know to to to to go
and and to hear about this and what I've heard also from our male audience said
when they do seek it out it's always very one-sided towards the woman and
what she goes through and and I acknowledge that I get it and I do feel
for the men that have to you know put up with this but you know one of the things
that we want to do is is to maybe give a little bit of insight into what we feel
and what does and doesn't work in terms of communicating with us at that point
yeah I wouldn't so much say put up with this I would say how do you Co manage it
both individually and together because it is a part of life and men have their
issues we have our issues and then we come together with both of our issues so
let's drill it down a little bit Silke and talk about what men can do with
their wives to maybe make this a little bit more manageable for them so Paige
what what are some tips maybe that you know from speaking from our perspective
from a female's perspective that we can share with men
on how to deal with this and not get their head bit off yeah well first of
all if you're a man that's out there and you're noticing that your wife or your
loved one is going through these menopausal type of symptoms and you're
not quite sure how to approach it the first thing is sitting down and coming
from a place of love and compassion that's the first thing you have to do
honey you know how much I love you I care about you these are some things
that I'm noticing are you noticing this too and she may be she may not be but
it's really kind of being able to point that out in a loving way and the number
two you can also ask your loved one is it okay if when I notice these symptoms
if I gently kind of point them out to you and we can figure out language of
how I can point them out so maybe you can see my darling you know that these
symptoms are really occurring like those are two different ways of having a
conversation because you have to find language that your wife or significant
other is okay for you as a man to use and you work on that together it's
really really important because that's the key what language do you use what
intonation do you use and you as a couple deciding on what is the language
that we both use together so that's when maybe the woman's not you know realizing
that things are happening when a woman clearly knows that this is freaking
menopause and all over the place there's some things that a man should know
sometimes women are afraid who do I trust
to go see for my menopausal symptoms what am I gonna put in my body is it
gonna make me gain weight is it gonna make me lose my libido is it gonna make
me break out with acne is it gonna make the symptoms worse those are things that
I want men to hear so as a man you can come in and say look is it hard for you
to figure out what to do with this would it help if I came with you to an
appointment and we can figure out this together so you're not alone in this
challenging difficult time bottom line it's about being supportive
doing it with your significant other but also at the same time sharing with your
spouse this is what it's like for me and I'd like to be supportive of you and us
as a couple since that makes it no it makes perfect sense I'm what you know
how practical is it with men who will feel like they're beaten up I I don't
know I'm thinking of my own situation I mean I can't I was enraged I I would
have just literally have rages come on that I couldn't control I just wanted to bite
somebody's head off and it's let me blame that piece that's really important
he just brought up so before a woman goes through a post menopause and
menopause okay we're reaching our second half of
life all of the stuff that we did not deal with in the first half of life with
ourselves or our children or a significant other comes out in this open
rage that can't be stopped because we never dealt with it so as a woman out
there listening to this as a man out there listening to this these are
conversations to have so if your significant other is raging like you had
raged one of the questions to ask when the rage is over is were there things
that you never shared with me honey were there things that bothered you that are
really coming out now during your second half of life can we talk about that
that's a huge component every woman that I work with says the same thing and
that's what happens second half a life women rip off the masks and ***'s coming
out and we don't care how we're saying it because we were holding back for so
long and maybe that's not fair to our significant other it's a part of the
growth process but it's a really great time for healing both individually for
the woman individually for the man and together as the couple you know I've
Paige you always have a way of explaining things and that I've never heard it
explained like that and you know I have girlfriend
conversations all the time of course what kind of past our menopausal rage
or at least I am but what a great way to put that you're right we there's
something about the the change in hormones it just takes away any filter
we have that's exactly right it takes away the
filter of what we've always wanted to say and maybe we didn't know how to say
it or share it and again maybe for a man it's like well that's insensitive but my
guess is for men maybe they didn't get to share what they wanted to share
either you know there's it's such a complexity with relationships but just
know that you can weed through that if you're given the right verbage language
and we just gave you some tips on how to go about that you know how to approach
that yeah and of course you know well for me
the the fix of course was hormone balancing and I did the bioidentical me
too on them right now yeah which which there's various ways of
doing it we've covered it in other videos we'll be doing more to cover that
but it was just life changing and you know I know there's men and women
watching I just encourage you to look into that
let me also add with that Silke because that's really important what you said
there is also a time because I've gone through this where you think okay let me
try and wean off of some of this and see how I do because you know at some point
maybe you don't want to take the hormones and then all of a sudden your
significant other or your husband goes from things were pretty like this into
food and hot flashes and rages again just know there is that time you know
things are tenuous you're trying to shift some of the hormones maybe you
want to wean stuff off but as women tell your significant other your husband
this is what you're doing have your husband be a part of the conversation
and men out there there's a lot of women who say but Paige my husband doesn't want
to be a part of the conversation so it's like anything if there's a problem be a
part of the solution step in learn the verbage want to support talk about some
things that maybe neither one of you shared for many many years until
menopause hit okay really good point and Paige we are coming to the
end of the segment I I do want to say that to our male audience we would
really like to be a resource for you in that yes that if you have questions
publicly that you want to leave below if you want to you send them privately
we understand that this is difficult and that there has to be you know a balance
you know if we can provide you with information that helps you understand
that's what we'd like to do at the same time we also know how difficult it is
for us and all the changes we're going through so Paige what would you like to
leave as a final note here well because we have men in our lives so we work with
them on what's going on so just know that you know nothing ever gets fixed or
there's aren't really solutions if you're doing it in a vacuum it's another
opportunity for your relationship to come together and maybe tenuous but it's
okay so think about this if there are things that were never shared and it's
coming out in hormonal rages it needed to come out so sift through it support
your significant others both female to male male to female and really get down
to what's the hidden agenda that no one's really talked about between the
two of you and then find out from your husband what he's been going through but
at the same time men you need to hear what the women goes through as well so
it's really listening to each other coming from a place of love and
compassion and working together for a solution and patience patience patience
thank you Paige as always great great points we'll be linking to some other
resources and videos that we've previously done that might help you and
we'll see you next time on our second act with Paige and Silke for your second
act of life bye bye
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