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It's crazy.
And I get there
and guess what?
There is no death!
Wasn't it a relief
when you realized that?
Nate! Thank God!
Maya?
Maya?
Hey, honey.
Where's my daddy?
Um...
Daddy's not here.
Ooh, I bet they love it!
Hi, Greg.
Don't worry. Whatever it was,
we will pay you for it.
It's okay.
Did you sleep
at all?
The boys aren't up yet,
are they?
I'll take care
of breakfast.
Why don't you go back to bed
and try and get a little sleep?
I can't.
I have to pick up Nate's body.
Can't Rico do it?
I should do it, Keith.
He's my brother.
- Well, maybe it's too much.
- It's not.
So right after breakfast,
you have to take the boys
to get suits for the funeral.
You know,
I can be with you today.
I mean, it doesn't matter
what the boys wear.
It does matter to me.
I'd start at Nordstrom's.
They're having a sale.
It's okay if the sleeves
are a little long,
But if you really need
alterations...
take them
to Lester's on Vine.
Tell them that you need it
first thing tomorrow.
Say David Fisher sent you.
I wrote down the address.
I didn't know he wanted
his organs harvested.
His wife approved it.
Is there a problem?
No, of course not.
- It'll save a lot of people's lives.
- I know.
Oh, ***!
You want one?
I got them from your brother,
but they suck.
Yogurt?
Oatmeal?
How about
a scotch and soda?
Is it too soon
for another pill?
- When did you take your last one?
- Three hours ago.
Sure, go ahead.
Don't worry.
If you get addicted...
I have a lot of experience
getting people through withdrawal.
Mmm.
- You can have it all.
- Mmm.
I wish you were
a food medicator.
When my second
husband died...
I couldn't stop eating
for an entire year.
It really helped.
Hey there!
- Hi.
- There's coffee!
Oh, no thanks. I think I've
already had too much coffee today.
I made you some eggs.
You see how much
your mom enjoyed hers.
Oh, thank you,
but I'm fine.
Why didn't you call
Dr. DiPaolo?
Mom, I told you
he was out of town.
But this was an emergency.
I don't understand why
no one even spoke to him.
They thought he was
going to be fine.
He was talking to us, Mom.
He really seemed okay.
But none of it
makes any sense!
Sometimes things
just don't.
David, is there anything
I can do to, like, help you?
What do you mean?
Why would I need any help?
I just mean, like, dealing.
I can deal, thank you.
You can help me call people.
- The list is in the office.
- Okay.
- When's the service?
- Tomorrow at noon.
I think we should wait a few days
so people have time to get here.
Nate didn't want
to embalmed.
- How do you know?
- He told me.
Twice.
But we're going to...
What?
Nothing.
Never mind.
This was the pre-Need he filled out before
the first surgery.
But that was
three years ago.
He said he wanted
a cremation
and Rabbi Ari Hoffman
to do the service.
She was supposed
to marry us the first time.
Oh, right.
But just last week
he said he wanted
a "green funeral."
What's that?
It's an environmentally, uh...
friendly process.
It's natural.
The body is placed in the ground,
wrapped in a shroud.
No embalming or casket.
And people often purchase
a resting place
In a designated park
kind of area
as a way
to conserve the land.
Well, that sounds nice.
Officially, we're supposed to honor
the signed document,
but I think he...
intended to change
the pre-Need and just never...
didn't have time to.
So it's up to you
as his spouse
to decide what you think
he would have wanted.
I have no idea.
No *** idea.
I mean, Rabbi Ari?
And now, apparently,
he is some kind of Quaker.
Was, I mean.
You know, maybe we should just ask
Maggie what he would have wanted.
What does Maggie
have to do with it?
Are you making decisions
about Nate's funeral?
We're just discussing
what he might have wanted.
Doesn't my opinion
mean something? He's my son.
L... I didn't think you'd
want to talk about it.
I want him buried in the family plot
next to his father.
Well, he wanted to be buried
in a nature preserve.
But I want him next to me.
Well, then you can
go there too then.
Hey, David.
You okay?
I know.
I still can't believe it.
It's like... now we just
go on with everything?
That's what people do.
Yeah, I guess so.
I guess so.
Uh, so, um...
Iook, I'll, um...
- I'll take care of the Felix pickup.
- What?
The guy at
the nursing home.
I'll take care
of the whole funeral.
You don't have
to worry about anything.
- We can't take that funeral.
- What do you mean?
I don't want anyone else here
during Nate's service.
David, they have
a pre-Need.
They paid for the funeral
10 years ago.
Rico, please,
just work it out.
Maya, eat your
applesauce.
No.
Well, you have to
eat something!
I'm sorry, honey.
I'm so sorry.
I, um...
I knocked over
your plant.
I'll replace it.
What are you doing here?
I thought you might need...
um...
I made you guys a quiche.
I didn't want to bother you.
I was just gonna leave it.
But, uh, then...
Oh, Brenda, I'm so sorry.
What is this, some kind
of Quaker thing?
You *** someone's
husband to death
and then you
bring them a quiche?
Would you please
just admit it?
It would be
such relief to know
when exactly my marriage
turned into a total *** lie.
- Oh, it's not like that.
- Like what? God!
It's not like anything
you're imagining.
Nate loved you.
I don't need you to tell me
how my husband felt about me!
Even if he was
pissed off at me,
he certainly wasn't in love with you
even if he said he was.
Nate could be
very convincing that way.
But all he ever wanted was someone
who could make him feel
like he was a better man
than he actually was.
Could've been anyone.
Why didn't I ever
get a stupid cell phone?
'Cause you hate 'em.
Well, if I had one like every
other person in the world...
It wouldn't have
saved him.
Why did Claire have to make me
go get my hair cut?
I've been cutting
my own hair for years.
Why did she have
to tease me about it now?
When did you have
your last pill, hon?
I-I don't want another pill.
I want my son.
I want my beautiful son.
I know.
I know you do.
I know you do.
This wasn't
supposed to happen.
- I know.
- Nate?
Nate's the one who matters.
You know,
I love you, son,
but Nate...
Nate's my little man.
I'm a man, Dad.
Oh, don't get your *** in a knot.
You know what I mean.
You were the one
we thought we could lose.
What, with AIDS and picking up
strange men on the side of the road,
And screwing a ***
with no ***... all that sort of thing.
You've been begging for some kind
of annihilation your entire life.
- That's not true.
- It's like a cosmic joke.
Oh God.
Your poor mother.
She must be going insane.
- He was her favorite.
- Who was yours?
Claire has always been my little gal.
You know how that is.
You barely even knew Claire.
Pretty little heartbreaker.
Just like her mom...
before she cracked.
You make me sick.
The feeling's mutual, cupcake.
Come on, Durrell,
where are you?
All right, I'm coming.
I'm coming.
No. No, no, you have to wear
your new shoes.
The pants drag
on the floor with those.
Just put them on. We've go to drop off
something at my boss's
before we go
to the Fisher's.
Look, I'm telling you
the pants are too long.
All right, maybe we can
get them hemmed on the way,
but then we have to
leave now.
David?
Excuse me.
I'm sure Brenda brought
some clothes, but I...
I happened to see his...
his best suit,
fresh from the cleaner.
- We're not having a viewing.
- Why not?
Mom, I told you he didn't want
to be embalmed or made up.
But people need a viewing.
You can look at him now.
When he came
out of the surgery
what exactly did
the doctor say?
Mom, I've told you this
100 times.
Well, you haven't been
clear about it.
If he said
everything was fine
and Nate was awake
and talking, then...
clearly something
went terribly wrong!
What, do you think
I killed him?
Is that what you're
trying to get me to say?
How dare you
speak to me that way?!
How dare you?!
I lost him too, Mom!
All you've been doing is accusing me
of doing the wrong thing!
At least I was there!
***!
What?
I, um...
I picked up
the programs.
Thank you.
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
- Ted Fairwell.
- Hi, it's Claire.
Hey, how are you?
I'm bad.
Um, my brother is dead.
Oh my God.
What happened?
Uh, I kind of have to get out
of here and, um...
I don't think I can drive.
Are you like, really busy?
Um, no.
No.
I'll be right over.
- Jesus Christ!
- Roger?
You trashed me!
- You two stay here.
- I'm gonna kill you, ***!
God damn it!
River!
What are you doing?
That was my coomb's kitty!
"*** for tat," you said.
You got your *** ***!
Now where's
my *** tat?
I had to call in a lot of favors
to get you that part.
It's not my fault they fired you
after the table read!
I was "Marky," man!
Why didn't you tell them
I have the chops?
- I'm cool!
- I said you were a comic genius.
You think I wasn't embarrassed when they
told me you stunk up the place?
You didn't fight for me.
Everyone sells me out
- my *** life!
- What?
You need to
calm down now!
Now what am I
gonna do?
I told my mom.
I did a mailing!
Keith, I need you to take him
to the Van Nuys airport.
I've got a friend at Warner's
letting me use the jet.
- I can't go to Van Nuys.
- There's a reoccurring on
"Two and a Half Men"
I'm perfect for!
I just want to send him to Cabo
till he settles down.
- I've got my kids.
- It's fine. Take them with you.
I just wanna show you
how good I can be.
Shut up, Trevor.
You got your shot.
Look, we're on our way to a funeral.
David's brother died.
I'm so sorry. That's awful.
Is there anything I can do?
You can take care
of this yourself.
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie,
but I've been overpaying you for a year.
This is the first time I've really needed you
to do something.
Uh, Keith, we've got to get
my pants fixed.
You can't go to a funeral
with those hems.
Leave the boys with me
and I'll have my girl do them.
- She's a genius.
- I'm not leaving my boys with you!
We'll hem the pants
and drop them off with David.
Please, let me
help you help me.
Keith, I'm a good father.
I can handle two kids for an hour.
Okay.
But don't talk to 'em
too much.
- Can we have beer?
- No!
- Have we met somewhere?
- No! Shut up!
Oh, sweetie.
My God.
Damn, you've had
a *** year.
- I got your dress.
- Thanks.
They swore to me
it would fit.
And I picked up one
for Maya.
And I brought
some lox and ***.
Great. I can't drink.
Lox has mercury.
Oh, please, a couple shots of Stoli
won't kill the baby.
You know,
in my day we used to sit on our ***
smoking Parliaments
for nine months.
Today, you have one piece of Brie
and everybody goes berserk.
Come on, sweetheart.
Here, have some of this.
It'll take the edge off.
I don't wanna
take the edge off.
I guess I'm just
blathering on like an idiot.
I don't know
what to say, honey.
I'm just so sorry.
Hello, you.
How are you, Maya?
I think she's
a little confused.
Where's my daddy?
Oh God!
I don't...
Your daddy...
has gone away
for a very long time.
Mom, you can't say that!
Honey, Daddy's dead.
That means that he's not
coming back ever.
Brenda! Jesus!
You know, soften it up a little.
That's what the book said to do.
I even went online.
They all say you have to be clear
or she gets confused.
When is Daddy coming back?
Daddy's dead.
Remember,
like Nemo's mom?
Remember how we talked
about that?
- Ah...
- You know what, Brenda?
I think you should save
this discussion
for a time when you're
less insane with grief.
I'm not insane
with grief, Mom!
Sweetie, you go on.
Go ahead, play with
your toys, sweetheart.
Have you talked to Billy?
He's not returning my calls.
Oh, I suppose
he's still in Dubai.
Jesus, I hope they haven't
taken him hostage.
He's not very docile.
I'm sure he hasn't been
taken hostage, Mom.
You're right.
It's just that I'm a wreck.
I can't believe
we're both widows.
It's just so horrifying.
At least you've got Olivier.
Well, he walked out on me
last week.
You know, I didn't want
to make today about me,
but the truth is
I want to *** kill myself.
I mean, God,
the pain is just searing.
I know it's not the same,
but we're both alone now.
No, it's not the same.
Not at all.
So... are we going
anywhere in particular?
No.
You mind just driving?
I don't mind.
What is this, a mix?
Yeah.
I love "top 40."
I'm sorry, but it just sounds
so good sometimes.
I don't know why
I keep thinking about
these stupid fights
I had with my brother,
Not like any of the good times
or whatever.
- Isn't that horrible?
- No.
I can't think of anything
nice about my sister.
But I like Nate.
I mean, you know I did.
- What are you thinking of?
- Just weird things.
Like this time, um,
it was right after
my dad died.
I had to write this
idiotic English paper
where you're
supposed to interview
the person in your family
that you knew the least.
My dad was dead.
And it was pretty much a toss-up
between those two anyway.
And so I...
asked Nate
if I could, uh...
interview him,
and he said no.
It was not like it was
some big traumatic thing.
It was just...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
This is so gross.
It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I don't know why I keep
thinking about that time!
Thank you for being so flexible.
Okay. Bye-bye.
- Can you zip me?
- Oh.
Where's Angie?
She called.
She's gonna be 10 minutes late.
- That's 20 minutes. ***!
- Hey, the kids can hear you.
What's gonna happen
with the business
now that there's
no one to stop David
from spending 300 grand
on a crematorium?
What's wrong with you?
This is what you're thinking about?
Do you know how
little savings we have?
What if something were to happen to me?
What would you do?
- You and the kids, what would you have?
- Nothing is gonna happen.
How do you know?
Something could happen to you!
We still don't have
any life insurance.
- We'll get it tomorrow.
- Where is she?
Did she need to get her outfit
right for baby-sitting?
You want to go
ahead of me?
- Is that okay?
- Yeah.
Okay. Uh, then
I'll see you there.
Okay.
He's not there.
Yes, he is too.
Wow, you guys look great.
How do you like
the length?
It's perfect.
David, I am so sorry
about your brother.
Thank you.
Where's Keith?
We had a situation.
I'm so sorry,
but he just threw
this guy at me.
I just got to get him on a plane
and then I can go.
Well, couldn't you
just say no today?
I know. I'm sorry.
But I swear I'll be
there soon, okay?
David!
This is total ***, man.
I've got to
get out of here.
Hey, I know where
I know you from.
You're that guy
in the *** video.
Sorry, wrong guy.
You are too, man.
- The one where Roger's giving you head.
- A video?
Dude, I've seen it
like 20 times.
Roger played it
every time we had sex.
He can't come
without it.
Does he pay you extra for that
or is that part of the job?
Hey, where are you going?
Hey, hey!
Where are you going?
So why don't you like
your sister?
Just the older one...
Caroline.
She's just kind of mean
which is kind of weird,
because she does this noble work
helping refugees.
So to the world at large
she's a saint,
but if you're actually
a person in her life,
she's just a ***.
Like when my little sister
was going through chemo,
Caroline came by
to help her like twice...
in three years.
That is pretty bad.
Is your other
sister okay?
Yeah. Betsy.
She was lucky.
That's good.
I have to go back.
Okay. Okay.
There you are.
How are you?
Thanks for making it.
Are the boys okay?
They're upstairs
in a state of bliss.
Roger bought them iPods.
But why would God
take someone's son
at the one moment
they were ever in their whole lives
not able to be with him?
What kind of
a message is that?
I don't think it's helpful
to see it as a message to you.
Then why would it
happen that way?
Unless there
really is no God.
It's natural to be angry.
But maybe it's best
to view God as a light
through this dark time,
as opposed to seeing him
as the cause of it.
- God is an ***!
- Yes, God is a huge ***!
And I ***
hate him for this.
We're gonna get you
through this, honey, all right?
You're not alone.
You're not alone.
You could've dressed.
I couldn't.
The rest of us managed.
Well, the rest of you win.
I think we're all in shock.
Three years ago...
we prayed for Nate's life.
And we thought our prayers
were answered.
Now, we have to pray
for help making sense
of this loss.
Because... um...
we've lost a lot...
A son...
A father...
A brother...
A husband...
A colleague...
To me, an inspiration.
He had a natural sense...
He had a natural sense
of what to say to people
when they were grieving.
And, uh, I just think he'd know
what to say to help us...
if only he where here.
Thank you.
I'm David Fisher and Nate
was my big brother.
When we were kids,
I used to get picked on at school.
I had come home
with my face
or my pride bruised,
and Nate would make me
tell him who did it.
And he would go talk to
whoever was tormenting me
and I'd be fine...
Um... Ahem...
Until it happened again.
So Nate came up with another strategy.
He said...
"When they start in on you
just laugh, laugh at them.
Even if they hit you,
laugh."
Well, I could never pull that off.
But that was Nate.
He could laugh at anything
and people were always drawn to him,
because he could make the best
of the worst situation.
Even when life hit him,
it couldn't ki...
ki...
My name is George Sibley.
I was Nate's stepfather.
This is a hard day.
And we're all very upset.
The loss of a young person
is always a terrible blow.
But in this case...
it... it's even more cruel,
because Nate was an idealist
and...
he struggled...
all through his life...
to be a good man.
He wasn't perfect,
but then
who among us is?
And he never gave up
on himself...
the people he loved...
or even love itself,
in all its vexing,
beautiful forms.
Oh, Claire.
There's too much cold cuts
out there already.
Here, take this scary
fruit cake instead.
How're you feeling?
Okay.
I should go back
downstairs.
It's all right
if you need to rest.
You can go down
if you want.
I want to stay with you.
I'm sorry for what I said.
I'm sorry.
You lost him too.
You and I are really
the most alike, you know?
And sometimes maybe...
it makes it hard.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- How's it going?
- Okay.
- Many questions.
- Uh-oh.
Hey, honey.
- Hey.
- Did you go?
No.
Maya, why didn't you tell somebody
you needed to go potty?
Do I have to
get you a diaper?
God, she's been
doing this for months.
Sometimes they regress
when they're upset.
Oh, ***! We're going to the cemetery
in like two minutes.
You know what? I'll clean her up.
You just go. Don't worry.
- Thanks.
- Yup.
Just trying
to keep things tidy.
Thank you.
We're leaving
for the cemetery soon.
- It's just going to be family.
- I understand.
Would you care
to join us?
Yes. Very much.
I wouldn't want
Joy to come
if she happens
to be here somewhere.
She's not here.
I have no idea
where she is...
ever...
anymore.
Here you go.
Hey, Claire.
You can ride
with David and Keith.
George is driving
Ruth, Maggie and Sarah.
Hey, Brenda, are you
riding with your mom?
Uh, no,
she's not going.
Well, you can ride
with me and Nate.
No, I'll drive myself,
thanks.
I don't think you should do that.
There's room with David.
- I'm fine, really.
- Okay.
Well, listen, here are the directions
and my cell phone
in case you get lost
or something.
Thanks.
Don't forget this.
God damnit!
David, are you okay?
David?
I can't go out there
right now.
- What do you mean?
- You go.
Look, I'll be out
in a minute.
- I can stay with you.
- No, just give me a minute!
Okay.
There's no coffin?
He didn't want one.
It's more natural
this way.
Where's David?
I think the three of us
can handle this.
Oh, man.
Where do we put him?
Uh, on the ground,
I guess.
Won't he get dirty?
Dust to dust.
Wasn't there a poem
he wanted read?
Where's David?
I think he's
just a little too upset, Ruth.
We're all upset.
That's right, sweetie.
We're all *** upset.
Sometimes we can't be
everywhere we want to be.
Yes, well,
sometimes we can.
Oh, God!
David?
We're starting
the ceremony now.
I can't.
If you don't get out of this car,
you will hate yourself forever.
- I know, but I can't.
- Yes, you can.
You have legs.
I am not doing this
without you.
Mom, please, I'm so dizzy
I can't breathe.
Well, we'll wait
until you can.
Could someone?
From the "Mystic Odes"
of Rumi.
"Our death is
our wedding with eternity.
What is the secret?
'God is one.'
The sunlight splits when entering
the windows of the house.
This multiplicity exists
in the cluster of grapes;
It is not in the juice
made from the grapes.
For he who is living
in the light of God,
the death of the carnal soul
is a blessing.
Regarding him,
say neither bad nor good
for he has gone beyond
the good and the bad.
Fix your eyes on God and do not talk about
what is invisible,
so that he may place
another look in your eyes."'
Nate?
Hey.
Kurt Cobain died today.
Oh.
He killed himself.
He was just too pure
for this world.
Well, his music
will live on.
Yeah.
Yeah, it will.
- You wanna try some?
- Yeah.
"It is the eternal light
which is the light of God.
The ephemeral light is
an attribute of the body
and the flesh.
Oh God,
who gives the grace of vision.
The bird of vision is
flying toward you
with the wings
of desire."
One, two...
Oh, ***!
Sorry.
Thanks, Claire.
One, two, three.
Easy.
Easy.
Okay.
Did you like
the poem I chose?
No, I hated it.
Mystical maudlin crap.
You just don't understand it.
I'm about 20 times smarter than you.
I understood it.
It's not about
being smart, Brenda.
It's about having spiritual depth.
Maggie understood it.
Maggie's a mealy-mouthed
little ***.
She couldn't even admit
she *** you!
Maybe she doesn't wanna
pollute what she and I shared
by handing it over
to your filthy imagination...
What you shared?
Adultery while your wife's pregnant
and raising your child
from another woman?
You will always think
of Maya that way, won't you?
Even when she's calling
you Mommy you think,
"I'm stuck raising
some dead ***'s kid."
No, I'm a good mother to her.
You were a great mother when you
yelled at her for having an accident.
I didn't mean to yell at her.
You just wanted me to plug
you with your own baby,
and now you've got that.
So you can drop the
wronged-little-wife routine.
- Why are you saying this?
- You could've married Joe
if you wanted to be with somebody
who wanted to be with you.
But deep down, you know that anybody
who wants to be with you
- is a *** idiot.
- Shut up!
Because just like everybody else
in your psychotic family
you have to destroy everything
and everyone you love!
Please, leave me alone!
Okay, just leave me alone!
We brought you
some alphabet soup.
It was all we had.
Oh, thank you.
I even loaded some smooth jazz
onto my iPod for you to listen to.
Wow, thanks.
I had no idea you guys
were such good nurses.
Yeah, well...
You learn something
new every day.
I'm gonna come over there
and destroy you!
Yeah, you do.
I don't care where they found him, Roger!
Okay, I quit!
Uh-oh.
No! You are
one sick dude!
I don't want to be anywhere
near you ever again!
He's not gonna take
the iPods away, is he?
I'm serious, Roger!
I've had it with you!
I hope not.
I need my smooth jazz.
You better eat that
while it's hot.
I forget how anyone
gets over anything.
You don't really.
Don't say that.
You do.
It's just time.
And remembering love, really.
What the hell
does that mean?
Slowly you
fall back in love
with whatever
really mattered to you.
Yes, and maybe
you find a way
to make sense
of what you've lost.
That doesn't
seem possible.
Honey...
I don't want
to freak you out...
but last night...
uh, Nate appeared to me
in a dream.
He did?
- Mmm.
- What did he say?
He didn't really
say anything,
but he had
a very loving presence.
Was he with someone?
He-He was with me,
I guess.
Are you sure he didn't say
anything about death?
Well, he didn't have
to say it, sweetie.
I got the message.
Oh.
Hello, dear.
Grandma!
Oh, thank you.
Come upstairs, dear.
I can't do this
right now.
I need you to take her for...
I don't know how long.
- Of course.
- Plus, I don't want to make things
worse for her if I can.
I can't do...
Maya,
you stay with Grandma,
okay?
You're gonna have
so much fun with Grandma.
I love you.
- It's just me.
- ***!
Oh, Jesus, Billy!
What are you doing?
I tried to make it back
in time for the funeral.
Why didn't you call?
I thought it was better
to just get here.
Oh, God.