Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
If you've been watching my videos from the beginning, then...I guess you know how to
watch videos in correct chronological order.
What, you want a medal for it? Hell no.
However, if you watched some of my earlier videos you'll have heard about this beastie
before. Let's endure Popeye, released by Piranha in 1986.
Popeye is a hard game to categorise, because it includes elements from a variety of genres.
There's some platforming in there.
There's a bit of problem solving, using the right keys on the right doors in order to
proceed.
There's some of that annoying 'virtual treasure hunt' stuff that a lot of recent games seem
to thrive on.
And there's also a fruit machine!
Yeah, your guess is as good as mine with that one.
The plot of the game is the same as the plot of the cartoon; Olive Oyl is a fickle slattern.
She has, rather unsurprisingly, decided that Bluto is better than Popeye, so Popeye decides
to win her back due to his deep seated abandonment issues.
This time round, Popeye decides not to pummel Bluto into submission, because that would
probably make the game fun and enjoyable.
Instead, he decides to present Olive Oyl with twenty five sill-beating hearts, because...
Well, he's a video game character. He's got to do something, right?
Anyway, it is up to popeye to explore a variety of weird, wonderful, primary coloured worlds
to find enough hearts to satiate his love.
Oh hey, speaking of the annoying treasure hunt aspect, this game looks like the first
installment in the lego series of games; see how blocky and yellow everything is? Yeah.
Actually, that's due to the limited colour pallette offered by the CPC.
See, there's this hardware bug known as an attribute clash, which is where the colours
from one sprite bleed into the colours of another.
By giving Popeye a big, cartoony sprite, and by making him yellow, they stop the attribute
clash and, thus, have a game that looks better than it could've done had they been lazy during
programming.
It was also used in games like Trap Door and Flunky.
Which, interestingly, had the same programming team as Popeye.
But enough of this sinful learning. Let's talk about video games some more.
Specifically, how this game was kinda doomed before it even began.
See, the main problem when working with Popeye is the same problem you have when working
with Superman.
The titular character is invincible. That's their schtick.
So you either have to keep the character faithful to their skills and make a lousy game (Superman
64, I'm looking at you now).
Or completely ignore the characters skills and just make a lousy game anyway (Justice
League Task Force, I'm looking at YOU now).
In this game they were pretty faithful to the source materials.
Partially in as much as they made Popeye a complete tool who'd do anything for his horrible,
frigid, unsupportive girlfriend.
But mostly because you're invincible so long as you have a trusty can of spinacia oleracea
by your side.
That...that's his spinac-ch.
See, this game doesn't have lives as such, and one hit will kill you.
But regardless as to what knocks you down, be it Bluto, witches, piranha fish, birds
or Garland, you'll get right back up again so long as you're carrying at least one tin
of spinach in your inventory.
In most games it's a drag having to sacrifice an inventory slot for healing items.
Mentioning no names.
Like Silent Hill 4: The room.
But Popeye gives you eight slots to work with, so you don't really feel the pinch of carrying
your greens around.
To that end, you can carry two or three around and you'll still be fine.
There are other items to put in your inventory, of course.
The one you'll be using the most is, surprisingly, not the hearts to satisfy Olive, but keys.
Unmarked, unnamed keys that are designed to unlock the unmarked, unnamed doors.
Actually, this is one of the games major flaws.
If you pick up a key you've got no idea what door it opens and there's no way to find out
aside from running face first into every single door in the game.
Still, that's what you get when you play a game programmed by like two guys for their
own amusement.
Another irritating feature of this game: It happens to be running in 3D!
Oh, it may look 2D but I assure you it's running in 3D.
Perhaps I should explain.
The game allows popeye to stand on one of three planes: in front of the scenery, on
the same plane as the scenery and behind the scenery.
Working in three dimensions like this is a neat idea and certainly one I haven't seen
replicated in any other 2D platformer.
Partially because working in three dimensions like this is a horrible idea because it's
a 2D platformer.
Is Popeye stood in the foreground or the background? I don't know. And there certainly isn't any
way of knowing just from looking at the screen.
To that end are you on the same level as Bluto or is he going to walk right past you?
WHO KNOWS!? You sure as hell don't.
In conclusion, Popeye is...well, it's not a terrible game. I've certainly played worse.
But at the same time it's not brilliant.
So with this in a mind I give Popeye a score of two baked bean tins and a piece of string.
[SINGING] And I hopes that you likes me childish review
of Popeye the
sailor maaaaaaaaan!
[Popeye theme tune]