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F: Hey there doctor. M: Hello captain. F: You know I am not really a captain.
I just like to wear the hat from time to time. M: That's okay. I am not really a doctor, I just play
one around the house. F: How are you doing? M: Horrible. Can you believe I have not had one chance
to drop a pumpkin off a tall building all week. F: That is sad. I always find that spreading
peanut butter on the side of the tub helps me when I am not feeling happy.
M: Not sure that would work. I have a dog. F: Oh really. What kind? M: A brown and white one. F: Those are awesome,
although I have heard they have genetic disorders. M: I had not heard that, but I just do not really
pay attention to all of that. For two days I thought he was a ferret. F: It happens.
Next time check behind the ears. M: Good plan. Anyway, I should probably go buy a new shirt.
F: I hate that. It s not like we don't have other things to do. M: I hear you. F: I hope so, we are standing
right next to one another. M: I know, but sometimes when I get nervous, I like to explain exactly
what I am doing. I just farted. F: That is beautiful. M: I know. Want to share a pickle?
F: Not sure. I just had to meet with my podiatrist. I finally will learn what is wrong with me.
M: I am not an expert, but it might be that you are mean. Mean as a goat in winter. I am not very good with similes.
F: That makes me sad. And now that I am sad, I want orange juice. M: Are you drunk?
F: Not yet, but if one more person asks, I am thinking about it. How is the wife? M: I am not married
F: Oh. I just assumed that you would be, but then again, you are socially inept. M: Only on Thursdays.
But Cheetos and a coke always get me out of a funk. But I cannot have one today, as I
have my competitive, full contact yoga class at 10 a m. F: That must be fun. Kind of like
when I crush a person's dreams by telling them the truth about how they look just feels
good when I personally witness the disappointment in their faces as I destroy their false assumptions
and have to acknowledge they are really quite ugly. U G L Y. You ain't got no alibi. You ugly.
M: I feel that is my job. To keep people in check, so they do not get an overinflated
ego. You know, like you. Know what I mean? F: Of course I do. I am the one with the deeply
entrenched belief that I am better than most people I come across...for example, right
now I am only pretending to like you because someday I might need something from you.
Although that is not very likely. Honestly though, I think you are quite the tool. And really,
a sad pathetic excuse for a human being. M: No problem. I would sooner spit on you than hand
you a freshly cut apple slice. Speaking of which, I need to go get lunch. F: Really? I guess
it is better that you stuff that ugly pie hole you call a face so I do not have to listen
to your grating voice any more. M: Sometimes words hurt. Not now, but they do other times.
I like cheese. Sorry, got nervous again. F: You have no idea what you are talking about, do you?
M: Sometimes. I have a friend named Tom. He is nice. He is missing an ear.
F: How did he lose it? M: A tragic watermelon incident. He does not like to talk about it. Are you
sure you do not want a pickle? F: Is that a comment about my personal aroma? M: No. I carry around
extra pickles in my pocket in case I run into someone. It is a nice thing to do. People
always appreciate a good pickle. F: Well, I should go. I need to pick up some legos before I
head home. My partner and I are going to build something magnificent. M: That sounds wonderful.
Good luck. And be careful of the bears. F: Will do. And you try to get a clue.
M: Sounds great. Thank you.
Office Word Title Microsoft Office Word 97-2003 Document MSWordDoc Word.Document.8