Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
>>> THIS WEEK, A SPECIAL EDITION OF "THE LOCAL SHOW" AS WE BRING
YOU OUR FOUR-PART SERIES ON SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION.
>> PRINCIPAL FUNDING FOR "THE LOCAL SHOW" PROVIDED BY, FRANCIS
FAMILY FOUNDATION, WILLIAM G. KEMPER FOUNDATION, COMMERCE BANK
TRUSTEE, FREDERICK AND LOUISE HARTWIG FAMILY FUND, KAUFFMAN
FOUNDATION, HEALTH CARE FOUNDATION OF GREATER KANSAS
CITY, HALL FAMILY FOUNDATION, JOHNSON COUNTY COMMUNITY
COLLEGE. ADDITIONAL SUPPORT PROVIDED BY
-- AND KXTR MEMBERS. THANK YOU.
CAPTIONING PROVIDED BY CAPTION ASSOCIATES, LLC
WWW.CAPTIONASSOCIATES.COM >> HELLO I'M NICK HAINES.
AT THE END OF LAST YEAR, A SERIES OF LOCAL HIGH-PROFILE
SUICIDES PROMPTED KCPT TO TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AT THE ISSUE OF
DEPRESSION. AND THE CIRCUMSTANCES
SURROUNDING SUICIDE. ITS CAUSES AND EFFECTS, THE
IMPORTANCE OF EARLY INTERVENTION AND THE IMPACT OF THOSE LEFT
BEHIND. WE'VE BROUGHT YOU THESE REPORTS
OVER THE LAST SEVERAL MONTHS, BUT IT'S HARD FOR VIEWERS TO
CATCH THEM ALL. THIS HALF HOUR, FOR THE FIRST
TIME, WE BRING THEM TOGETHER IN ONE PLACE.
ś I'VE GOT TO LET YOU KNOW, YOU'RE ONE-OF-A-KIND ś
>> YOU'RE GETTING ME STIRRED UP. I'M TRYING TO BE AS CALM AS
POSSIBLE. >> WHAT ARE YOU STIRRED UP
ABOUT? >> NOW, SEE THAT'S HOW YOU STIR
THE POT MORE. YOU ASK ME WHAT I'M STIRRED UP
ABOUT. >> I WANT YOU TO GET IT OFF YOUR
CHEST. >> YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU WHAT
I'M STIRRED UP ABOUT, NO. >> IT'S VERY QATARTIC.
>> NO, NO. I HAVE TO BE ON GOOD BEHAVIOR
HERE? >> SINCE WHEN.
>> . DOWNTOWN.
34 LEE'S SUMMIT. WE HAVE 36 IN LAWRENCE.
>> WE'RE THINGS ABOUT THAT DAY, TUESDAY, WAS THAT I CAME IN AND
I KNEW HE WAS IN AN EXTREMELY BAD MOOD.
AN OUR NEWSCAST GOES ON AT 4:30 EVERY MORNING.
SO I GET DOWN HERE ABOUT 4:15. I WAS SITTING AT THE DESK AND
DON WOULD BE AT THE WEATHER CENTER BEHIND ME.
FOR SOME REASON I HAD THE COMPELLING NEED TO LOOK OVER HIM
AND SAID, DON, I LOVE YOU. AND HE SAID, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I SAID NOT IN A *** WAY. I LOVE YOU AS A BROTHER.
AND I JUST FELT THAT -- I FELT LIKE I NEEDED TO SAY THAT TO
HIM. A LOT OF TIMES WHEN I WOULD GET
HERE IN THE MORNING, MY MORNING ROUTINE WAS TO GO BACK TO THE
WEATHER OFFICE. I WOULD DROP OFF MY COAT AND MY
BRIEFCASE AND I WOULD SAY, HEY, DONNY.
HOW ARE YOU DOING. IF HE RESPONDED BY SAYING, HEY
MARKEY, EVERYONE WAS UP. IF HE WOULD JUST GRUMBLE, I KNEW
HE WAS DOWN. THEN I MADE IT MY OBJECTIVE FOR
THAT DAY TO TRY TO MAKE HIM LAUGH AT SOME POINT.
SO IF IT SNOWS LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT THIS WEEKEND --
>> HEY. >> MONDAY, WILL YOU BE INTO
WORK? >> I DON'T KNOW.
BUT DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THAT.
>> OKAY. >> WAIT, WAIT.
ON WHICH? >> IT'S REALLY BEST FOR EVERYONE
INVOLVED IF YOU AND I DON'T TALK.
>> 6:19. WILLPOWER TRAFFIC.
HERE'S JOE. GOOD MORNING.
>> DON AND I DID TALK ABOUT BEING MANIC DEPRESSANT.
I TOLD HIM IT RUNS IN MY FAMILY. I SAID WHY DON'T YOU GO GET
HELP. I'LL GO WITH YOU.
BECAUSE I NEED HELP, TOO. HE SAYS, NOPE, I'M TOO STUBBORN.
I'M NOT GOING TO DO. THAT
>> ON THAT NOTE, IT'S 9:48. LET'S GET YOU ON OVER.
>> EVERYTHING THROUGHOUT MY DAY, EVERYWHERE I GO NOW, I CAN
THINK, WELL, DON AND I DID THIS. DON AND I DID THAT.
WE HAVE HAD EXPERIENCE. AND JUST TO KNOW THAT THAT'S NOT
GOING TO HAPPEN ANY MORE. IT'S -- IT'S VERY PAINFUL.
>> THE DAY THAT HE FINALLY DID COMPLETE SUICIDE WAS
AUGUST 21st OF 2009. AND HE GOT UP THAT MORNING AND
HE WAS TERRIFIC. HE WAS HAPPY.
AND TOOK A SHOWER AND GOT DRESSED AND WAS GOING OFF TO
WORK AND KISSED ME GOOD-BYE. I LOVE YOU, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
AND WENT OFF TO WORK. AND AT 1:05, HE WAS GONE.
HE WAS 64 YEARS OLD. HE WAS VERY ACCOMPLISHED IN
MANY, MANY WAYS, IN MANY AREAS. VERY DEVOTED TO HIS FAMILY AND
TO HIS FRIENDS. JOHN SUFFERED FOR MANY, MANY
YEARS FROM DEPRESSION. BACK THEN THEY USED TO CALL IT
MANIC DEPRESSION, TODAY THEY CALL IT BIPOLAR.
IT REALLY WAS SWINGS OF IT, HE WOULD BE GOOD FOR MONTHS AND
MONTHS AND THEN THERE WOULD BE AN EPISODE AND HE WOULD GET
VERY, LOW LOW. I HAVE TO TELL PEOPLE IT'S VERY
SCARY. ANYONE WHO HAS LIVED WITH OR
BEEN AROUND, THIS IS SCARY STUFF.
BECAUSE YOU'RE TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL, YOU CAN'T WATCH
SOMEBODY 24/7, ALTHOUGH I TRIED. AND IT'S EXHAUSTING.
AND IT'S FRIGHTENING AND IT'S HORRIBLY SAD AND ISOLATING.
AND THERE IS THE STIGMA TO IT. SO YOU REALLY DON'T TALK ABOUT
IT, WHICH WE'VE GOT TO STOP. I THINK IT'S VERY IMPORTANT FOR
PEOPLE TO KNOW THAT OFTEN WHEN A PERSON IS CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE,
AND THEY'RE VERY, VERY DOWN, THAT'S NOT WHEN THEY HAVE THE
ENERGY LEVEL THAT'S HIGH ENOUGH TO PULL IT OFF.
AND I THINK THAT ONE OF THE SIGNS THAT FAMILY MEMBERS AND
FRIENDS NEED TO WATCH FOR IS THE SORT OF SURGE OF FEELING GOOD.
I THINK HE WAS DEDICATED TO DOING IT.
HE HAD THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR A LONG TIME.
OVER YEARS ACTUALLY. BUT I THINK HE HAD THE ENERGY
AND THE COMMITMENT TO DO IT THAT DAY.
AND HE DID IT. >> I THINK ALL OF US IN AMERICA,
IN OUR SOCIETY, YOU PASS SOMEBODY IN THE HALL, YOU SEE A
FRIEND, YOU SAY, HEY, WHO YOU ARING DOING.
I'M FINE. WE DON'T MEAN IT.
I'M COMMITTED NOW THAT WHEN I ASK SOMEBODY HOW THEY'RE DOING,
I'M GOING TO STOP AND LISTEN AND I WANT A REAL ANSWER.
IF THEY ASK ME, I'M GOING TO GIVE A REAL ANSWER.
>> YOU HAVE TO BE COURAGEOUS AROUND DEPRESSION.
YOU HAVE TO SAY I WILL WEIGH IN, AND TAKE THE RISK.
THE GOOD THING TO SAY IS WHAT IS THE WORST THING I CAN TELL MY
FRIEND, MY COLLEAGUE MEMBER, MY FAMILY MEMBER THAT YOU'RE
BEHAVING IN A WAY THAT IS UNFAMILIAR TO ME AND I AM
SCARED. YOU DON'T TELL PEOPLE, GEE, I
DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG BUT. YOU'RE SURE ACTING LIKE AN
IDIOT. YOU SAY I'M UNCOMFORTABLE.
I AM WORRIED. I AM NERVOUS.
I AM SCARED. I FEEL A PARTICULAR FEELING WHEN
I AM AROUND YOU. THAT MAKES IT EASIER FOR PEOPLE
TO HEAR. >> TALK OPENLY ABOUT SUICIDE.
AND HELP GET OTHER HELP INVOLVED.
WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO GO, THEN CALL THE
NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION NETWORK.
WHEREVER YOU ARE IN THE COUNTRY, CALL THAT.
IT GETS ROUTED TO THE SERVICE HERE IN YOUR AREA CODE.
>> WHEN I WAS 12, MY FIRST COUSIN DIED OF CANCER.
AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF CANCER IT WAS, BECAUSE MY FAMILY
DIDN'T TALK ABOUT IT. YOU DIDN'T TALK ABOUT CANCER,
YOU DIDN'T TALK ABOUT DEATH. CANCER WAS REFERRED TO AS THE
BIG "C." AND I'VE ALWAYS REGRETTED THAT,
BECAUSE JUST THAT STIGMA PUT ON SOMEONE, BECAUSE OF SOMETHING
THEY COULDN'T HELP. AND A LOT OF WAYS MENTAL HEALTH
ISSUES ARE THE SAME WAY. IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN HELP.
IT'S A DISEASE. YOU DIDN'T ASK FOR IT.
IT'S JUST LIKE CANCER. AND UNLESS WE START TALKING
ABOUT IT, AND MAKING IT LESS OF A STIGMA WHERE PEOPLE CAN OPENLY
SAY, YEAH, I BATTLE DEPRESSION, I'VE GOT THESE UP AND DOWNS.
I'M A MANIC DEPRESSANT AND NOT BE STIGMATIZED FOR THAT.
UNLESS THAT CAN HAPPEN, WHAT HAPPENED TO DON IS GOING TO
HAPPEN AGAIN AND I CAN'T STAND THAT.
>> WE NEED TO BE ABLE TO GET HELP.
AND NOT KEEP SECRETS ABOUT SUICIDE.
WE NEED TO GET HELP FOR THAT PERSON.
BECAUSE THEY CAN. >> CAN YOU PREVENT SUICIDE I
THINK IS THE MOST COMMONLY ASKED QUESTION?
AND THE ONLY ANSWER I KNOW TO THAT IS BY EARLY TREATMENT WHEN
YOU SEE DEPRESSION. WE NEED TO BE FOCUSED ON THIS
END OF THE TREATMENT PROCESS BEFORE IT MOVES SERIOUSLY DOWN
THE CONTIUUM INTO THE POSSIBILITY OF SUICIDE.
IF YOU LOOK AT DEPRESSION ON A CONTIUUM THAT SAYS, ONE,
EVERYBODY HAS UP AND DOWNS. EVERYBODY HAS BAD DAYS.
EVERYBODY HAS GOOD DAYS. DEPRESSION IS ABOUT SOME KIND OF
SHIFT THAT YOU CAN LEARN TO NOTICE IN YOURSELF, SO THAT THE
DEPRESSED FEELINGS CONTINUE OVER TIME.
AND THE SYMPTOMS BECOME NOTICEABLE, I'M NOT SLEEPING
WELL, I'M LOSING OR GAINING WEIGHT.
I HAVE NO INTEREST IN MY LIFE. NOTHING EXCITES ME.
BUT THE REAL ISSUE IS HOW LONG DO THOSE SYMPTOMS PERSIST.
PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION IN OUR CULTURE TO FEEL THEIR
FEELINGS AND TO TALK ABOUT THEM AND TO ASK FOR HELP.
I USE A METAPHOR IN THERAPY OF THE TRASH COMPACTOR, ABOUT
THROWING THINGS THAT YOU CAN'T EXPRESS AND CAN'T -- DON'T WANT
TO FEEL INTO THAT TRASH COMPACTOR.
SO YOU PUSH IT DOWN AND IT GETS TIGHTER AND TIGHTER AND SO WHEN
THE LID IS THREATENING TO COME UP, YOU CAN FEEL THAT.
YOU CAN FEEL IS IN YOUR BODY. YOU CAN FEEL THAT HEAT THAT I'M
GOING TO CRY OR I'M GOING TO GET ANGRY.
SO YOU DO SOMETHING TO TIGHTEN THE LID.
ALCOHOL REALLY WORKS ON TIGHTENING THAT LID TEMPORARILY.
AND SO WHAT PEOPLE DISCOVER, I USE THIS SUBSTANCE TO MEDICATE,
TO TIGHTEN THE LID IN MY TRASH COMPACTOR.
BUT EVENTUALLY I NEED MORE THAN I NEEDED THE LAST TIME AND THEN
YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY TO AN ADDICTION.
AND IT'S NOT JUST SELF-MEDICATION WITH ALCOHOL AND
DRUGS, PEOPLE SHOP TOO MUCH, SPEND TOO MUCH MONEY.
THEY GAMBLE, THEY DO AN ACTIVITY THAT IS CLEARLY SATISFYING BY
PUSHING THINGS BACK DOWN. AND IT'S LIKE THE MORE I CAN
PUSH THIS DOWN, THE MORE I CAN HAVE THE ILLUSION OF CONTROL.
PEOPLE COME TO THERAPY, THEY WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH
THEM. THEY WANT TO KNOW AM I DIFFERENT
FROM OTHER PEOPLE. AND I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT AND I
USE THIS WORD VERY GUARDEDLY. THERE ARE NORMAL THOUGHTS IN THE
SENSE THAT MORE PEOPLE HAVE THEM.
THE AVERAGE PERSON WONDERS FROM TIME TO TIME AND IN A DOWN MOOD,
WOULD I BE BETTER OFF NOT TO BE AROUND AND I DON'T PEOPLE TO
THINK THAT THAT MEANS THAT THEY'RE SICK OR THAT THERE'S
SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEM. IT DOES, HOWEVER, MEAN YOU MUST
BE FACING A REALLY DIFFICULT TIME IN YOUR LIFE.
AND YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEBODY.
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS I CAN BE MORE IN CHARGE OF MY MOOD
SWINGS, MY UP AND DOWNS, THEN I MAY CURRENTLY BELIEVE.
AND AS WE LEARN MORE ABOUT THE BRAIN, AND THE WAY THE BRAIN
FUNCTIONS, THERE ARE MORE AND MORE TECHNIQUES THAT CAN BE
LEARNED TO HELP PEOPLE MANAGE MILD TO SERIOUS DEPRESSION.
ONE OF THE MOST INTERESTING PIECES OF RESEARCH IN RECENT
YEARS IS ON MEDITATION. AND THERE HAS BEEN A STUDY THAT
INDICATES THAT JUST AS WE HAVE A SET POINT IN WEIGHT, KNOW THE
IDEA I'VE LOST 10 POUNDS BUT I GAINED IT BACK, THAT WE HAVE AN
EMOTIONAL SET POINT. WE CAME INTO THE WORLD WITH THIS
EMOTIONAL SET POINT. SO IF YOU WIN $1 MILLION AND YOU
FEEL MAGNIFICENT, YOU WILL DRIFT BACK TO THAT SET POINT.
IF YOU HAVE A NORMAL KIND OF DEPRESSED RESPONSE TO LOSING A
JOB TO HAVING A FIGHT WITH YOUR SPOUSE, TO HAVING SOMETHING GO
TERRIBLY WRONG IN YOUR LIFE, YOU MAY BE DEPRESSED, BUT YOU'LL
DRIFT BACK TO THAT SET POINT EVENTUALLY.
WHAT THE RESEARCH IS INDICATING IS THAT MEDITATION CAN ALTER THE
SET POINT OF YOUR EMOTIONAL WELL BEING.
NOW I'M TERRIBLY OVERSIMPLIFYING THAT WHEN PEOPLE KNOW THAT THERE
ARE THINGS I CAN DO TO FEEL BETTER, WHETHER I AM MILDLY
DEPRESSED OR THAT DEPRESSION HAS REACHED A MORE SERIOUS PLACE,
THAT IS ONE OF THE MOST EXCITING PIECES OF RESEARCH I'VE SEEN IN
SOMETIME. NOW PERHAPS A LITTLE MORE
OBVIOUS TO SOME PEOPLE IS RIGOROUS EXERCISE ALTERS
DEPRESSION. AND MOST PEOPLE WHO DO EXERCISE
ON A REGULAR BASIS CAN REPORT THAT WITHIN A 15 TO 20-MINUTE
PERIOD OF RIGOROUS EXERCISE, THEY CAN FEEL A MOOD SHIFT.
NOW THAT'S POTENT AND THAT TELLS YOU HOW MUCH OUR CHEMISTRY IS
IMPACTING THE WAY WE FEEL. AND WHAT WE PUT IN OUR BODIES
ALSO HAS A HUGE IMPACT ON DEPRESSION.
SO I TELL PEOPLE IF YOU'LL EXERCISE REGULARLY, MEDITATE,
AND PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR FOOD, AND BEGIN TO USE ONLY FOODS THAT
REALLY PROMOTE HEALTH, YOU CAN ALTER YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 30 AND 90 DAYS.
I WOULD SIMPLY LIKE FOR PEOPLE WHO BEGIN TO EXPERIENCE FEELINGS
OF DEPRESSION TO ASK FOR HELP. I WOULD SAY THE MAJORITY OF
PEOPLE WHO SEEK TREATMENT FOR DEPRESSION GET BETTER THROUGH A
COMBINATION OF PSYCHOTHERAPY AND MEDICATION AND THE KEY IS TO
HELP PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THEIR THOUGHT PROCESSES.
AND TO UNDERSTAND THE SORT OF DIFFICULT MATRIX THEY CREATE IN
THEIR HEAD OF NEGATIVE THINKING, ABOUT LIFE EXPERIENCES.
>> IN MACBETH, THE LINE IS TOMORROW AND TOMORROW AND
TOMORROW. AND PATRICK STUART SAID HE WAS
TOLD THAT THE EMPHASIS WAS ON THE AND AND I GET IT, BECAUSE
IT'S TOMORROW AND TOMORROW AND TOMORROW.
I'VE GONE THROUGH PERIODS OF TIME WHERE FOR LITERALLY WEEKS
ON END I WOULD WAKE UP ANGRY AND RISE INTO A RANGE AND SPEND THE
DAY IN A RAGE. SO SIMMER BACK DOWN TO ANGRY, SO
I COULD GO TO SLEEP AND WAKE AND DO IT AGAIN.
IT IS JUST A FEELING. THAT'S TRUE.
IT'S JUST AFTER A WHILE IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE THERE'S
ANYTHING BUT THAT FEELING. >> EVERY DAY WE TALK TO PEOPLE
WHO ARE AT RISK OF SUICIDE. AND WE KNOW THAT HELPING PEOPLE
GET THROUGH THOSE CRITICAL POINTS AND HELPING THEM BUILD UP
HOPE, YOU CAN KEEP WORKING IN THAT DIRECTION.
AND SHIFT THE BALANCE AWAY FROM SUICIDE.
THE PEOPLE CAN'T ALWAYS DO IT ON THEIR OWN AND SHOULDN'T HAVE TO.
ONE OF THE EXAMPLES THAT I USE IN TRAINING OUR STAFF WAS TALK
DOING A COLLEGE-AGED WOMAN IS VERY, VERY SUICIDAL WHEN IT WAS
ABOUT THE END OF A RELATIONSHIP. AND SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BOTHER
HER MOM WITH HER MOM KNOWING THAT SHE WAS HAVING A HARD TIME.
AND SO I ASKED HER, YOU KNOW, I CAN TELL THAT YOUR MOM IS
REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT TO YOU. YOU KNOW, AND WHAT YOU'RE
TELLING ME IS THAT YOU'RE WORRIED IF SHE KNEW HOOSHED --
KNEW HOW SAD YOU FELT. WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOUR MOM
FOUND OUT YOU KILLED YOURSELF? AND SHE PAUSED FOR A MINUTE AND
WHAT SHE SAID WAS, WELL, IT WAS REALLY *** MY MOM WHEN MY
SISTER KILLED HERSELF. THAT SHOWED HOW MUCH YOU CANNOT
BE ABLE TO THINK WHEN YOU'RE IN THAT PAIN.
BECAUSE SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT BEING THE SECOND OF THE TWO
CHILDREN WHO MIGHT END UP DEAD BY SUICIDE.
AND THAT PART HAD NOT OCCURRED TO HER, YET IT IT WOULD BE SAD
FOR MOM TO ANYTIME SAD ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP BREAKUP.
SHE COULD ONLY GO THAT FAR. IT WAS OBVIOUSLY A TOTAL TURN
AROUND, THE CONVERSATION. THE LIGHT CAME ON FOR HER.
WHAT I THINK ABOUT WITH TALKING TO PEOPLE ABOUT SUICIDE AND THE
CRISIS TIME IS IT'S -- THAT'S THE SOLUTION THEY'VE LATCHED
ONTO. THAT'S THE ONLY SOLUTION THEY
CAN SEE. AND SO WE NEED TO BACK UP AND
TELL ME ABOUT THE PROBLEMS. TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO
SOLVE WITH SUICIDE AND THEN THAT OPENS THE DOOR FOR GOSH, YOU
KNOW, THE THINGS YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT SHOW YOU HAVE A LOT OF
COMPASSION FOR OTHER PEOPLE AND SOME STRENGTHS ABOUT THE PERSON.
AND SO OPTIONS THAT YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO TRY.
IT'S GETTING THE SITUATION AND THEN LIKE WHAT ARE THE OPTIONS.
YES, SUICIDE IS AN OPTION BUT IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE A SOLUTION.
IF THEY CALL THE LIFELINE NUMBER, WHAT THEY SHOULD EXPECT
IS TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT AND CARING, TO BE TAKEN REALLY
SERIOUSLY. WE'RE GOING TO TRY TO HELP THEM
TALK ABOUT WHAT IT IS THAT GOT THEM TO THE POINT OF THINKING
ABOUT SAW SIDE. AND WE'RE GOING TO TALK TO THEM
DIRECTLY, ABOUT YOU KNOW, HAVE YOU ALREADY DONE SOMETHING
BEFORE YOU CALLED HERE TODAY OR HAVE NOT, DO YOU HAVE A PLAN.
AND LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT. BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO TRY TO DO
THINGS TO MINIMIZE THE CHANCE THAT THEY'RE GOING TO ACT ON
THAT IMMEDIATELY. MOSTLY WHAT WE'RE TRYING TO DO
IS LET THE PERSON UNLOAD WHATEVER IT IS THAT GOT THEM TO
THE POINT OF SUICIDE. HONESTLY A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT'S
ALL THEY NEED AT THAT POINT. JUST BECAUSE YOU SAY THE WORD
SUICIDE DOESN'T MEAN YOU NEED IN-PATIENT TREATMENT OR LIMBAUGH
TO DO A WELLNESS CHECK. LET'S FIND OUT WHAT YOU NEED AND
GET YOU THE LEVEL OF HELP THAT YOU NEED.
AND NOT GO OVERBOARD. ALSO WHEN WE'RE TALKING TO THE
PERSON CONCERNED ABOUT SOMEBODY, YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT'S A PARTNER
WHO CALLS, MAYBE A PARENT, MAYBE AN ADULT CHILD CALLING ABOUT A
PARENT. WHAT CAN YOU DO?
PART OF WHAT YOU CAN DO IS GET THOSE DANGEROUS OBJECTS OUT OF
THE HOUSE, STARTING WITH JUST GET ALL FIREARMS AND AMMUNITION
OUT OF THE HOUSE, YOU KNOW. NOT JUST LOCKED UP, BECAUSE WE
KNOW TOO MANY TIMES WHEN PEOPLE -- ONE OF THE THINGS THAT'S A
CHALLENGE ALWAYS FOR PEOPLE LEARNING TO DO THE COUNSELING IS
YOU'VE GOT TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT THE INTENSITY, THE SERIOUSNESS,
YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW, I CAN HEAR FROM WHAT
YOU'RE SAYING THAT THE PAIN YOU'VE BEEN FEELING IS SO
OVERWHELMING AND YOU'RE NOT SURE YOU CAN LIVE WITH IT ANY MORE.
AND I KNOW THAT YOU'RE THINKING VERY SERIOUSLY ABOUT SUICIDE.
BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE BEEN WILLING TO CALL SOME PLACE.
YOU TOLD YOUR FRIEND. YOU'VE SHOWED SOMEBODY.
YOU KNOW, AND BY DOING THAT, TELLS US BOTH THERE'S A PART
THAT NEEDS SOME HELP. >> I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT SUICIDE
KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES. IT KNOWS NO DEMOGRAPHICS,
RELIGION, ETHNICITY, AND IT CAN HAPPEN IN ANY FAMILY.
AND I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T LIKE THAT, WHEN I SAY THAT,
BECAUSE THEY THINK, OH, COULD NEVER HAPPEN IN MY FAMILY.
BUT I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD HAPPEN IN MINE EITHER.
DEPRESSION I THINK MANIFESTED ITSELF TO RISKY BEHAVIORS.
AND HE GOT INTO ALCOHOL. HE GOT INTO DRUG.
AND I HAVE DONE SOME RESEARCH THAT A LOT OF MEN THAT TAKE
THEIR LIVES BY SUICIDE, LOOKING BACK AT THEIR GROWING UP, THEY
WERE RISK TAKERS. HE DID VERY WELL IN THE
MILITARY. HE WAS IN THERE FOR SIX YEARS.
HE HAD BEEN IN THE V.A. HOSPITAL A COUPLE DIFFERENT TIMES DURING
THOSE YEARS FOR DEPRESSION, WHERE HE HAD ATTEMPTED SUICIDE.
AND AT 3 31 YEARS OLD, THE DOCTORS WOULDN'T TALK TO US
ABOUT IT. HE WAS OF AGE, WITHOUT HIS
PERMISSION, WE COULD NOT GET ANY INFORMATION.
>> I THINK EVERYONE WHO IS AFFILIATED WITH A SUICIDE, YOU
QUESTION YOURSELF. COULD I HAVE DONE SOMETHING
DIFFERENT? SHOULD I HAVE SAID SOMETHING
DIFFERENT THAT DAY. SHOULD WE HAVE INTERVENED IN
TAKING HIM TO A MENTAL INSTITUTE AND GOT HIM ADMITTED?
WELL, FROM WHAT I'M HEARING, THERE'S NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO TO
HOLD SOMEONE AGAINST THEIR WILL. I'M NOT HAVING THE THOUGHTS ANY
MORE, THEY HAVE TO RELEASE YOU BY LAW.
AND SO IT WAS VERY SURPRISING TO ME THAT THERE REALLY IS NO WAY
TO INTERVENE LIKE YOU CAN FOR SOMEONE WHO IS ADDICTED TO DRUGS
AND HARMING THEMSELVES THROUGH CHEMICALS.
WHEN YOU HAVE A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE IN YOUR BRAIN, NOTHING
REALLY THE LAW CAN DO TO PREVENT YOU FROM HURTING YOURSELF.
>> ONE OF THE THINGS THAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A LOT IN OUR GROUP
IS FOR THOSE PEOPLE WHO LOST LOVED ONES TO EWE SIDE AND --
ONES TO SUICIDE, AND TO REMEMBER WHAT THEY DID RIGHT, YOU KNOW.
NOT JUST FOCUS ON I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS, MY LAST WORD WAS
THIS. BUT THINK ABOUT ALL OF THE
THINGS YOU DID RIGHT. THINK ABOUT ALL OF THE THINGS
YOU DID SOMETHING NICE FOR THE CO-WORKER AND HAD GREAT
CONVERSATIONS, THINK ABOUT THE TIMES YOU TOLD YOUR KID YOU
LOVED THEM. DON'T -- BECAUSE PEOPLE
SOMETIMES ONLY FOCUS ON WHAT I COULD HAVE DONE, MAYBE WOULD
HAVE NOT LET THIS HAPPEN. >> WELL, GOT STARTED WITH A
GROUP OF PEOPLE THAT HAD LOST LOVED ONES TO SUICIDE AND HAD
THOUGHT WE NEEDED A LOCAL GROUP THAT WOULD PROMOTE AWARENESS
ABOUT SUICIDE. >> SHE IS ONE OF THE FEW
PROVIDERS IN THIS COMMUNITY OF FREE SUICIDE SURVIVOR COUNSELING
AND MENTORING. AND SHE WAS A LIFESAVER FOR ME.
>> A LOT OF TIMES YOU CAN'T TALK TO RELATIVES OR FRIENDS ANY MORE
ABOUT YOUR LOVED ONES. YOU KNOW, YOU'VE EXHAUSTED THEM
ALREADY. AND SO IN A SUPPORT GROUP,
SOMETIMES IT'S THE ONLY PLACE THAT PEOPLE CAN COME AND SAY
HERE'S WHAT I'M REALLY FEELING. AND PEOPLE WILL LISTEN.
BECAUSE WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE. >> WE'RE NOT A CULTURE THAT
KNOWS HOW TO GRIEVE IN A HEALTHY WAY.
DEATH IS A HORRIBLE LOSS. AND WE HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT
WE ARE GOING TO EXPERIENCE TREMENDOUS LOADS AND SADNESS AND
FEAR AND ANXIETY WHEN A LOVED ONE DIES.
AND LOTS OF PEOPLE PUSH THEMSELVES THROUGH THAT PERIOD
TOO RAPIDLY, LOTS OF PEOPLE TAKE MEDICATIONS PREMATURELY FOR THAT
KIND OF DEPRESSION. AND IF WE ARE NOT ALLOWED
PERMISSION TO FEEL IT, TO EXPRESS IT, TO SAY I HURT, I'M
SCARED, I'M ANGRY, I'M LONELY, THEN THOSE KINDS OF FEELINGS GET
CAUGHT IN OUR HEADS AND JUST THE COP TEXT OF NEGATIVE THINKING
THAT SAYS THIS IS AWFUL AND THIS IS TERRIBLE.
AND I CAN'T STAND IT AND MY LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.
THAT'S BEGINNING TO MOVE ALONG THIS CONTIUUM OF SERIOUSNESS TO
THE EXTENT THAT PEOPLE CAN GET INTO DIFFICULTY.
>> WHEN THERE IS A SUICIDE IN THE FAMILY, THE FAMILY IS A HIGH
RISK FOR A REPEAT SUICIDE. I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S BECAUSE
DEPRESSION RUNS IN A FAMILY OR IF A LOT OF TIMES IF THAT WAS
THE WAY THAT SOMEONE SAW SOMEONE WORKING THROUGH THEIR PROBLEMS,
LIKE IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR GRANDPA, IF IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH
FOR DAD, THEN IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
>> I THINK THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR PEOPLE LEFT BEHIND IS
TO KNOW, IT'S ABSOLUTELY NOT YOUR FAULT THIS HAPPENED.
THERE'S A LITTLE PICTURE THAT PUTS ON A FACE THAT HAS THE
SAYING SOMETHING LIKE IF LOVE COULD KEEP YOU ALIVE, YOU WOULD
HAVE LIVED FOREVER. >> YOU JUST HAVE TO GO FORWARD.
YOU KNOW. SOMEONE SAID TO ME, LIFE GOES
ON, BUT ONLY IF YOU DO. SO WE ALL HAVE TO GO ON FOR
THEIR MEMORIES AND FOR THE PEOPLE THAT ARE LEFT BEHIND.
>> YOU KNOW, WE HAVE A LOT OF DIFFERENT RELIGIONS IN OUR
GROUP. SO WE DON'T GET INTO THE
RELIGIOUS THING. BUT WE DO TALK ABOUT THAT WE DO
GRIEVE, THAT OUR LOVED ONES HAVE FOUND PEACE.
AND THEY CERTAINLY HAD NOT FOUND PEACE WHILE THEY WERE HERE.
>> WE HAVE GATHERED LOTS OF LOCAL RESOURCES ON SUICIDE
PREVENTION IN THE METRO ON OUR WEB SITE, THELOCALSHOW.ORG.
THAT'S WHERE YOU CAN ALSO ACCESS ALL OF THESE VIDEO PIECES.
YOU CAN SHARE THEM FREELY. I'M NICK HAINES.
WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON "THE LOCAL SHOW."
>> PRINCIPAL FUNDING FOR "THE LOCAL SHOW" PROVIDED BY FRANCIS
FAMILY FOUNDATION, WILLIAM G. KEMPER FOUNDATION, COMMERCE BANK
TRUSTEE, FREDERICK AND LOUISE HARTWIG FAMILY FUND, KAUFFMAN
FOUNDATION, HEALTH CARE FOUNDATION OF GREATER KANSAS
CITY, HALL FAMILY FOUNDATION, JOHNSON COUNTY COMMUNITY
COLLEGE, ADDITIONAL SUPPORT PROVIDED BY --
AND KCPT MEMBERS. THANK YOU.
CAPTIONING PROVIDED BY CAPTION ASSOCIATES, LLC
WWW.CAPTIONASSOCIATES.COM