Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
I went to a mental health screening on campus the other day because I care deeply about
free T-shirts.
So I filled out a survey, I handed it to the clinician, and she's reading it.
She says, "Have you ever been in to see us before?"
I said "No."
She said "Well, why don't you give us a call?"
She kept reading and said "You know what? We're gonna call you."
"Real soon." Which I though was kind of weird.
But I can see where she
might be a little
There was one question
in particular.
Do you blame yourself when something goes wrong in your life?
Which is a yes-or-no question
but I made it a fill in the blank question.
I said, "I don't blame myself
but I blame the crazy *** in my head that makes me do stupid stuff.
Why
would I blame myself? That's crazy.
We're developing an
initial three-minute set
for each student
some of the students are doing a little bit longer
we're trying to bring out their persona
magnified versions of themselves onstage
We're working on joke construction, set construction
and just general stage craft
You don't realize how much of a technical art
stand-up comedy, in addition to just
being funny, because anyone can be funny. You have to find a way to
make it very streamlined so it's punch after punch
We have our show on Saturday
at my club
I think they're just going to,
as they say in the business, kill.
He started telling us about his views on American history, and I was like I don't know how much this guy knows,
He's just a Chinese business man
He said "Here are the three greatest presidents of all of American history." What is he gonna say, Obama?
"Number one: George Washington"
George Washington? He knows his stuff
"George Washington - because he founded America, just like Mao founded China"
Mao must be a pretty good guy.
"Number two: Abraham Lincoln."
He really knows his stuff.
Abraham Lincoln, Civil War, freer of the slaves...
"Abraham Lincoln, because he would not let the south go, just like we will not let Inner Mongolia, Taiwan, and Tibet go."
OK? … "Number three: Jimmy Carter."
"Jimmy Carter, because after him, American manufacturing went down, and Chinese manufacturing went up.
And now we
are entering
The cha-ching dynasty."
It's real about how you say things.
You can take any subject and make it funny.
A lot of the things we say in life are really a little strange, like "Yo, what's up, dogg?"
Yeah, I get that like, man's best friend, I'm your best friend,
but do I get all the benefits of being your dog?
Do I get free food, do I get to not pay rent, and can I hump your wife as much as I'd like to without consequences?
I think you look to your own life. A lot of my material comes from what I run into in
everyday life, the interactions I have with people
I think my sense of humor tends to be self- deprecating
sitting over
I've been seeing a girl for over a year now, and I'm just totally crazy about her, totally over the moon
and I think I'm about ready to take things to the next level. I know it's moving fast but
this weekend I'm gonna buy that ring I've been saving up for, I'm gonna get dressed up nice, show up on her doorstep, and
I'll knee down and
introduce myself to her.
I know, I'm a hopeless romantic at heart.
Maybe I'll show her some pictures that I've taken of her getting out of bed in the morning,
Maybe I'll tie her up
and take her to an old abandoned warehouse and make her play with the dolls made of hair that I fished out of her shower drain
It's moving fast, but it just feels right.