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hi I'm Corrina Gordon-Barnes here to help you feel more peaceful and connected
with the ones that you love today we're looking at why relationship can feel so
exhausting why do we feel so drained and depleted in certain relationships so
maybe you're thinking of a family relationship or a relationship with a
friend or with your partner and in the movie version of relationships
relationships energize us they fuel us they recharge us
they're like havens that we can go back to and just plug in and
recharge our energy but the opposite is often true so today we're looking at
why that is and what we can do about that so you can come back into your
full energy so picture a play okay we're going to use this analogy picture a play
so it's on a stage and if it's a well-written play then each of the
characters they have their own part okay they have their role they have their
script. Like Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage" and everyone has their
part they know what to say they know when to come in they know when
to leave and it all just works really smoothly and entertaining and it's fun
and it's engaging because everyone's playing their part
now that's when there are adults who are the actors in a play; when it's
children it can look very different right if you think about a children's
nativity play you can probably imagine there's little Mary and she's totally
come out of her role she's totally come out of her part and she's bossing the
shepherds around and she's telling them what to do, maybe she's pulling them
and doing all this – and we do something like that as adults, in our life we
actually come out of our role we come out of our part and we try to play other
parts and we try to play the director so we think we know what others should and
shouldn't be doing or saying and we come out of our part and that's what gets
really exhausting. So let's look at this with an example let's imagine Jackie is
with her mother-in-law and she's at her mother-in-law's for tea
with her children and her dream is that her mother-in-law is really engaging with
the children and chatting and interested in their day at school they're having
this wonderful energizing encounter but what's actually
happening in reality is her mother-in-law has picked up a magazine
she's not really that interested in the children, she's reading her magazine kind
of tolerating the children being there until it's time to go home and Jackie's
really annoyed and she exhausts herself by coming out of her part and thinking
about what she thinks her mother-in-law should be doing instead, so she keeps
trying to bring her mother-in-law's attention to the children like "Ooh look what they did"
and "Ooh tell Grandma about what you did at school" and she's
just exhausted by the end of the day because she's been out of her part all
day; she's been out of her role the whole time and that is what has
exhausted her it's not what her mother-in-law was doing that has
exhausted her although she could definitely tell that story it was her
coming out of her role that was what depleted her and drained her so this is
your challenge this week is any time you're exhausted in any relationship
whether it's with your partner, family member or friend is ask yourself: "Whose
part am i trying to play here?" whose part am i trying to play and just notice if
you're completely in someone else's part just trying to kind of be in their role
or be the director or are you fully in your own role in your own part. If you're
not then that's the challenge: to notice and then bring all of your energy back
completely to your own role, your own part, 100% of your energy is
now yours to live your life and to play your part to the very best of your
ability and that's going to be what makes you feel satisfied and
energized and it's what's going to create really healthy happy
relationships. So that's the challenge for you and if you like this challenge,
you think this is going to be a good one and you want more relationship
challenges to have happier healthier relationships then come over to
CorrinaGordonBarnes.com & sign up for the free 7-day relationship challenge there's a
link just here and if you found this video useful then please share it with
everyone you know and subscribe to this YouTube channel