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I've gathered you all here today for one powerful reason.
It's that time of the week where we honor the Great God, Maximus!
Praise Maximus! (apathy)
Maximus the Immortal we praise thee and take turns sipping from the blood of the holy bowl.
As you pass it around, I will prepare our next ritual for Maximus. Praise Maximus!
Praise ***...mus {sipping}
{texting} {small sip}
I'm good. I think. {humming}
Uhhh, Jerry? Brother Leon! What is it?
Have you got a sec or...? I'm just prepping this next ritual
Yeah...right. That wasn't real blood, was it?
Of course it was! It was taken from our foes and placed in the holy bowl.
Which foes? The Moon Brothers from up the road?
No...nothing to do with those shady ballsniffers. Chyeah. Did you have a sip Brother Jim?
It's just that with the whole blood ritual fad...I'm wondering why do we do it?
Well, how else would we be able to appease our God?
So just the one God? Maximus!
Praise Maximus! Look, what has he ever actually done for us?
Other than try to get us out of school on Monday?
Yeah... Well, he controls our fates from here and
beyond. No, no no. Look, I just... Forgive me, friends.
I just feel like there's...we could... we could be using our time our Sunday afternoons
more productively than sitting around in a circle chanting to a blood god hoping that
he's gonna make our education system better. That's just...am I alone here?
I...don't...I don't really see your point. I'm just saying we're five friends why aren't
we you know we could be sitting around studying, doing shots of Jager through the eye, I don't
care but why- why are we huddled in your parent's basement, man?
That's ridiculous! This is a sacred place. You know Leon if you don't want to praise
Maximus, you can just leave. We only invited you because my mum thinks
you need more time out of the house. Okay...I'm an apprentice landscaper.
Can you deal with him I have to finish prepping LEON: This is ***, man.
JIM: It's gonna be alright man LEON: Don't manhandle me, I'm not a bag of
groceries. JIM: Leon...it's gonna be alright man.
*slap* Look, we're not saying we don't want you around.
JERRY: Not that we do! Exactly, exactly. Look, you just gotta turn
your negatives into positives. Negative: School on Monday. Positive: Appeasing the Gods.
Well... Negative: Confronting our Grand Arch Wizard,
Brother Jerry. Can we call him Grand *** Wizard?
We can...we can work with it. You're getting somewhere. It's creative. At least it's a
positive. That's what it's about. We just gotta work together
Yeah I feel ya. How can I extend my gratitude towards the
great blood god, Maximus? JERRY:That's Maximus the Immortal, Brother
Leon! Yep, cheers mate. Back to your potions!
Look man, I don't mean to be a ***. I don't mean to blaspheme or anything, big guy. I
feel like I should know more about the background about this Maximus the Immortal guy before
I start guzzling his blood like a milkshake. Bro...bro, bro, bro. This is a tradition that's
been passed on for thousands of years. JERRY: Thousands of years, praising Maximus.
AMY: Years? What do you mean years? We only started doing
this last month when you got a D on your test? Whaaaat?
Those two events were unrelated. LEON: Awww yeah.
BECCA: Didn't you used to have a dog called Maximus?
JERRY: Enough! I bet Jesus never had to deal with this.
JIM: Well he did have Judas. LEON: Sorry, what?
JERRY: Now...if you all- [click]
MUM: Jerry! JERRY: Yes, mum!
MUM: Have you seen my red food dye? JERRY: No, mum!
MUM:Have you seen my good salad bowl? The blue one?
JERRY: Nooo.... MUM:Okay then, are your little friends staying
for dinner? JERRY: No, mum!
BECCA:I can totally stay for dinner. JERRY: I said no...
BECCA: Okay, fine then. AMY: I'm actually only here for the food...
JERRY: No one's staying for dinner! MUM:Are you sure?
JERRY: Yes, mum! MUM: You enjoy your little playdate.
JERRY: It's not a playdate, it's a blood ritual! LEON: Ha! You have a mum.
[Mean group laughter] MUM: Dinner will be at six!
JERRY: Thank you, mum! [click]
JERRY: Okay, look. I brought us altogether, even Leon...
to make sure none of us have to go to school tomorrow...because I'd rather hang out with
you guys - maybe not Leon - than go to school. So, let's take our places and begin our final
ritual to summon Maximus with his silver coin. Okay guys?
Remember the email I sent around...the one with the chant?
I didn't have any Wi-Fi... [lies and hesitation]
[ominous music] We present this coin to you.
God of all good and true. Great immortal Maximus
Make sure there's no school for us. That was absolutely terrible.
From the top! [Metal creaking]
[Car engine] DAD: Jesus Jerry, you can't do this outside?
LEON: How many parents does this guy have?! CREDITS!
Music: Cabaret by Rikin8r YOUNG JERRY: Maximus...Maximus where are you
boy? [Music continues]
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