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>> Taking a child with autism to church can be a challenge
of faith for the entire family.
Typically church services are not designed to include loud
out bursts, screaming and flying objects; however,
if there is one place that your family should feel safe it
should be with your faith community do not wait
for your religious leaders to know how to deal with your child
and the challenges you are facing.
You need to meet with your faith leaders and educate them
about autism and how it affects your child and your family.
You will need to make suggestions for inclusion
and ask for help from your congregation.
Empower your congregation and allow them to help.
Be mindful that they are not experts
and they will need your help and guidance.
Offer to speak to the members of your congregation
and give them the opportunity to learn more about autism.
Help the children in your congregation understand what
autism is and how they can help your child.
Leaders will often work with church youth workers
to help them know how to adapt lessons,
help smooth behavior concerns and so on.
The more open you are with your congregation the more
understanding they will become.
Remember that there will always be those who choose not
to be involved with your family and with your child.
Do not take it personally.
Consider asking for someone to be assigned to help your child
as they attend church services.
It may be too much to expect a teacher to be able
to include your child without some type of assistance.
Consider giving an older child with autism a job
that they can complete while attending church.
Surviving a church service takes planning.
It's not all or nothing.
If you only make it through a portion
of the service, that's okay.
Just be careful not to reinforce inappropriate behaviors.
Consider asking that a special pew be assigned for your family.
Give your child and yourself short-term rewards
through the service.
Bring reinforcements.
Keep your expectations realistic and pray.
Pray for yourself, pray for patience and guidance.
Remember to serve others.
As you serve others, you'll be able to become more aware
of people's needs and be more willing
to accept the help of others.
>> Several years ago we started having a lot of problems going
to church and being able
to maintain a semblance of normalcy.
When you have an autistic child they don't understand the
normalcy of needing to stay quiet during a church service
or participating like a normal child
in a church children's class.
We had the opportunity to have an actual person assigned
to our child to be their aide and support to help redirect
and to guide our oldest child who is non-verbal
and very prone to stemming.
He also has a lot of problems with modesty
and taking off his clothes.
We got to the point where he would figure out that
if he started stripping his clothes off
that was an exit strategy for him because we would have
to whisk him away, redress him and then bring him back.
Eventually during church service he found that he was able
to manipulate us to the point where if he figured
out that he refused to put the clothes back
on that he wouldn't have to stay at church.
One day we got to a breaking point where Chandler refused
to keep any of his clothes on.
I was actually at the front of the church service participating
in the actual speaking parts and I looked back
and there was some commotion back where my family was sitting
with my wife and my wife was going in and out so members
of the congregation were kind of going in and out with her.
As soon as I finished my part,
I went out to find my son completely 100% stark naked.
After I put his clothes back on to
where he could be decent enough for me to march him
around the hallway so we could go out to the car,
I didn't even look at him or make eye contact
but just marched him next to me and I could feel the stares
of some women in the hallway in complete disdain and surprise
and I knew that my son was in a certain state of undress,
but I didn't think that it was as bad as when I looked down
and realized that he was walking with his pants around his ankles
and at that point I realized that our son was going
to always find a way to not go to church if we continued
to make him dress the way he didn't want to dress.
And so that's when our friends rallied around us
and helped us understand that he didn't need
to wear those church clothes.
That we could actually allow him to wear something else
that he's more comfortable with.