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Hello.
***. These ***' phones, man.
You get a call, they cut you off.
You make a call, they cut you off.
What's the point? I never--
Don't you know what they're doing, kid?
They *** you with cell phones.
That's what it is.
They're *** you with the cell phone.
They love when you get cut off.
You know why, huh? You know why?
'cause when you call back--
Which they know you're gonna do--
They charge you
For that ***' first minute again
At that high rate.
If you're lucky enough to be able to call back,
Because the 3-hour battery you got
Only lasts for 20 ***' minutes.
And what if you're
Behind a *** hill or something?
Or you're going through
A damn tunnel or some ***, man...
And they keep making it smaller.
You know why they make 'em this small?
So you can lose 'em.
Why? So you have to buy more phones.
I never lost my mother's phone.
Took you 2 hours to make a damn long-distance call.
D-d-d-d--4...
D-d-d-d-d--5...
D-d-d-d-- oh, I messed up.
Hang up. Gotta do it again.
D-d-d-d--4...
D-d-d-d-d--5...
I never lost
My sports illustrated swimsuit phone.
And how 'bout the *** scanners?
These idiots, they get your phone number,
And then they make calls--
Somebody took my number
And called afghanistan. Afghanistan!
I don't know nobody in afghanistan.
I don't know what ***' afghanistan look like.
And even if I did,
I would not talk to their afghan *** for 3 hours.
I won't talk to my daddy for 3 hours.
They *** ya with the cell phones.
Hey, you know what happens
When you go to a drive-through?
[telephone rings]
Hold on.
Why am I talking--