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>> MY TATTOO WAS HORRIBLE.
>> IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE
EVER DONE IN MY LIFE!
>> I WISH I COULD TAKE A DREMEL
AND SAND IT OFF.
>> Narrator: THESE PEOPLE NOT
ONLY LIVE WITH REGRET...
THEY COME FACE-TO-FACE WITH IT
EVERY...SINGLE...DAY.
>> IT'S SO UGLY.
>> THERE'S SO MANY REASONS THAT
PEOPLE WANT TO GET TATTOOS
COVERED UP.
>> I WAS INTOXICATED.
>> I WAS 16.
>> I WAS LIKE, "I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS SPELLED WRONG."
>> IT WAS A GIANT MISTAKE.
>> READY?
>> YEP.
>> I LOVE DOING COVER-UPS.
I LIKE THAT UNCERTAINTY, AND I
LIKE THE CHALLENGE OF THEM.
>> ALL THAT MESS IN THERE IS
GONNA TURN INTO BEAUTY.
>> ANYONE CAN COVER THIS AND
MAKE THIS THING LOOK BEAUTIFUL,
YOU'RE THE BOMB.
>> I'VE LITERALLY HAD PEOPLE CRY
AFTER I FINISHED A COVER-UP ON
THEM 'CAUSE THEY FINALLY GOT RID
OF THE BAD TATTOO.
>> [ GASPS ]
>> NOW I'M NOT GONNA BE
EMBARRASSED ANYMORE.
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> IT'S ***'.
>> Narrator: THIS IS...
EVERY YEAR BILLIONS OF DOLLARS
IS SPENT TATTOOING MILLIONS
OF AMERICANS.
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THERE'S
ALWAYS A SATISFIED CUSTOMER
AT THE END OF THE DAY.
>> MOST PEOPLE WHO GET REALLY
STUPID OR BAD TATTOOS, THEY
DON'T KNOW IT'S BAD.
>> MY FRIEND T.J. WAS THE
TATTOO ARTIST.
HE WAS BORED, I WAS BORED.
PEOPLE ARE EITHER HORRIFIED OR
THEY LOVE IT, AND, UH, MOSTLY
PEOPLE ARE HORRIFIED.
>> "GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN"
COMES ON THE RADIO, AND I
JOKINGLY SAY TO HIM, "OH, I'D SO
GET THAT TATTOOED ON ME."
>> THE GENERAL PUBLIC DOESN'T
FULLY UNDERSTAND WHAT MAKES
A QUALITY TATTOO.
>> GOOD TATTOOS HURT FOR A SHORT
WHILE, BUT BAD TATTOOS HURT
FOREVER.
>> Narrator: YOU DON'T NEED TO
TELL THAT TO OUR FIRST WORST
TATTOO, WHOSE LOVE FOR ASTRONOMY
TURNED TO HATE AFTER SHE SAW
THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON.
>> THE TATTOO I HATE MOST IS THE
ONE ON MY LOWER BACK.
MY FRIEND WAS LIKE, "OH, I KNOW
THIS TATTOO ARTIST.
SHE'S REALLY GOOD."
I'M LIKE, "SURE," AND THEN,
YOU KNOW, I WAS INTOXICATED, SO
THAT KIND OF MADE THE SITUATION
EVEN BETTER, AND THEN I SAW THE
MOON, AND I'M LIKE, "OH, I LOVE
THE STARS, AND I WANT TO GET
AN HOURGLASS," SO I'M LIKE,
"YEAH, I'M GONNA GET IT,
YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE."
SO SHE FINISHED, AND, OH, MY
GOD, IT'S DISGUSTING.
[ LAUGHS ] IT'S HORRIBLE.
COME TO FIND OUT, SHE'S A ***
ADDICT, AND APPARENTLY SHE
WASN'T HIGH ENOUGH FOR ME 'CAUSE
THEY SAY WHEN SHE'S HIGH, SHE
DOES A REALLY, REALLY GREAT JOB.
SO I MUST HAVE CAUGHT HER WHEN
SHE WAS "EHH" 'CAUSE MY TATTOO
IS HORRIBLE.
IT'S SO UGLY.
AND IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A MOON,
NOT A COOKIE.
>> Narrator: DESPERATE TO TURN
THAT COOKIE FROWN UPSIDE DOWN,
AMBER MET WITH MEG FOR A TATTOO
TRANSFORMATION.
>> MY NAME IS MEGAN MASSACRE,
AND I'VE BEEN TATTOOING FOR
ABOUT EIGHT YEARS NOW.
A LOT OF TIMES WHEN PEOPLE WANT
TATTOOS COVERED UP, IT'S BECAUSE
IT REMINDS THEM OF SOMETHING
THEY DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT.
WHEN WE ARE ABLE TO COVER THIS
TATTOO UP WITH SOMETHING THAT IS
MORE POSITIVE AND THEY CAN LOOK
AT AND BE HAPPY ABOUT, IT CAN
ACTUALLY REALLY TRANSFORM A
PERSON.
>> OH, MY GOSH.
OKAY, SO I GOT A TATTOO ABOUT
A COUPLE YEARS AGO.
>> OKAY.
>> AND, WELL, I CALL IT "THE
COOKIE," BUT IT'S ACTUALLY A
MOON, BUT, YEAH, IT TURNED OUT
LOOKING LIKE A COOKIE MONSTER.
>> SO YOU HAVE A MOON THAT LOOKS
LIKE A COOKIE MONSTER IS WHAT
YOU'RE TELLING ME.
>> ACTUALLY, MY COUSIN REFERRED
TO IT AS A COOKIE MONSTER 'CAUSE
SHE SAID, "WHAT IS THAT?," AND I
SAID, "IT'S A MOON -- MOONISH
KIND OF MAN," AND SHE SAID,
"MNH-MNH.
THAT LOOKS LIKE A COOKIE
MONSTER."
>> NOW, YOU SAID YOU'RE A
MAKEUP ARTIST, CORRECT?
>> RIGHT, MM-HMM.
>> SO YOU'RE REALLY INTO LIKE
A FUNKY, KIND OF *** STYLE?
>> YEAH.
>> I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE COOL,
AND THE REASON THAT I THINK THAT
SOMETHING LIKE THIS WOULD BE RAD
IS BECAUSE YOUR TATTOO'S SHAPED
IN AN OVAL.
WE WANT TO HAVE SOMETHING IN
GENERALLY THE SAME SHAPE SO THAT
WILL WORK REALLY WELL AS A
COVER-UP, AND THEN I DID A
FLOWER AROUND IT TO KEEP IT MORE
FEMININE.
>> I REALLY LOVE IT.
IT'S REALLY NEAT.
>> YEAH.
>> DEFINITELY BETTER THAN A
COOKIE.
>> YEAH, IT'S DEFINITELY BETTER
THAN A COOKIE MONSTER.
>> I LIKE THE CONCEPT OF THE
SKULL, AND AT THIS POINT, ANYONE
CAN COVER THIS AND MAKE THIS
THING LOOK BEAUTIFUL, YOU'RE THE
BOMB BECAUSE THIS THING IS
HIDEOUS.
>> IT LOOKS GOOD.
ALL THAT MESS IN THERE IS GONNA
TURN INTO BEAUTY BY THE TIME
WE'RE DONE.
>> Narrator: WHILE MEG KEEPS
CHOMPING AWAY AT AMBER'S
COOKIE-MOON MONSTER, CHECK OUT
OUR NEXT TERRIBLE TATTOO.
LOOKS LIKE THIS GUY HAS HAD ONE
TOO MANY COOKIES HIMSELF.
>> I WAS AT A PARTY, AND I HEARD
SOMEONE REFER TO THEIR MOM
AS WELL-FED, AND I THOUGHT IT
WAS GENIUS.
I'D NEVER HEARD THAT TERM
BEFORE.
SO I HAD "WELL-FED" TATTOOED
ON MY STOMACH.
I LOATHE IT.
THE "WELL-FED" IS PLACED ON MY
STOMACH LIKE A MOUSTACHE.
IT'S VERY OFF TO THE SIDE,
NOTHING IN THE MIDDLE.
SO I GOT THE POST-IT NOTE PUT
IN THE MIDDLE TO TRY TO FILL
THAT SPACE.
PEOPLE GAWK AND POINT AT IT
AND LAUGH.
IT WAS A GIANT MISTAKE.
>> Narrator: DAVID MAY BE FULL
OF MISTAKES, BUT HE'LL JUST HAVE
TO SWALLOW HIS GRIEF.
LET'S HEAD BACK TO THE SHOP TO
SEE WHAT PHASE AMBER'S MOON IS
IN NOW.
>> HERE WE GO.
[ NEEDLE BUZZING ]
>> THEY SAY THE OUTLINE IS
USUALLY THE HARDEST PART?
AND I FEEL LIKE IT IS.
[ SIGHS ]
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> GOOD GOD.
[ BUZZING CONTINUES ]
AFTER A WHILE, I JUST SUCKED IT
UP AND JUST TOOK IT LIKE A "G,"
SO...
IT'S COOL.
I ENJOYED EVERY BIT OF IT.
[ SQUEALS ]
>> Narrator: WHEN WE COME BACK,
WILL AMBER BE OVER THE MOON
ABOUT HER NEW TATTOO?
>> [ GASPS ]
>> Narrator: AND LATER...
A TWO-IN-ONE BAD TATTOO THAT'S
ABSOLUTELY HAUNTING.
>> I DEFINITELY WANT DEATH,
MERMAIDS, AND MORE DEATH.
>> MY NAME IS JOHN OSBORNE,
AND FOR MOTHER'S DAY, I DECIDED
TO GET MY MOM'S FACE TATTOOED
ON MY BUTT CHEEK.
[ BOING! ]
MY MOM CRIED WHEN SHE FIRST SAW
IT.
I DON'T KNOW IF THOSE WERE TEARS
OF JOY WHEN SHE WAS CRYING OR
IF IT WAS JUST SHEER FRUSTRATION
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE SHE
WENT WRONG.
I ENDED UP GETTING MY DAD'S FACE
TATTOOED ON MY *** NEXT.
MY DAD, WHO IS THE KING OF NOT
SHOWING EMOTIONS, SENT ME A TEXT
MESSAGE THAT SAID, "YOU ROCK."
[ FANFARE PLAYS ]
THAT'S JUST WHERE THEY GO.
THEY GO ON MY ***.
>> Narrator: AMBER WAS IN
SERIOUS NEED FOR A TATTOO REDO.
>> I DO NOT LIKE THE TATTOO I
HAVE RIGHT NOW.
>> Narrator: AND MEG HAD THE
PERFECT IDEA FOR HER
TRANSFORMATION.
>> I'M SO BLESSED THAT IT'S
GONNA BE GONE.
[ NEEDLE BUZZING ]
>> ALL RIGHT.
IT LOOKS LIKE WE ARE DONE.
>> YAY!
[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]
[ GASPS ]
I LOVE IT!
IT LOOKS GREAT!
>> MUCH BETTER THAN A COOKIE,
HUH?
>> HELL, YEAH.
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> TAKE A -- SIT DOWN AND LOOK
AT IT.
>> TAKE A LITTLE SEAT.
>> IT LOOKS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> I'M NOT A SKULL PERSON, BUT
THIS LOOKS REALLY, REALLY GOOD.
>> THANK YOU.
>> I THINK I'M ADDICTED TO
SKULLS NOW.
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
YOU'RE GONNA START GETTING SKULL
EVERYTHING AFTER THIS POINT.
>> YEAH, NO MORE COOKIES,
NO MORE MOONS, JUST SKULLS.
I LOVE IT.
IT'S REALLY PRETTY.
>> I DON'T THINK AMBER IS GONNA
MISS THAT COOKIE MONSTER AT ALL.
GOOD RIDDANCE TO THE COOKIE
MONSTER.
>> OH, MY GOD.
YOU REALLY CAN'T EVEN SEE THE
COOKIE.
>> NOT EVEN A CRUMB.
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
TODAY I DID GET A NEW TATTOO,
AND I'M ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH
IT.
IT'S SO PRETTY.
>> Narrator: AMBER WAS GLAD TO
SAY GOOD-NIGHT TO HER
COOKIE-MONSTER MOON, BUT OUR
NEXT WORST TATTOO VICTIM IS
A FAN OF MOONS -- SHOWING HIS
OWN, THAT IS.
>> MY NAME IS IAN VAN der WERFF.
I AM FROM SAN CLEMENTE,
CALIFORNIA.
I WAS LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, I WANT
A STUPID TATTOO," SO I THOUGHT
OF THE STUPIDEST POSSIBLE THING,
AND I GOT "SEE" ON ONE BUTT
CHEEK AND "MORE" ON THE OTHER.
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN
"THE SIMPSONS"?
"YEAH, I'M LOOKING FOR SEYMOUR."
"WHAT'S THE LAST NAME?"
"'SEE MORE' BUTT."
[ LAUGHS ]
OKAY, THAT'S FUNNY, BUT GETTING
IT TATTOOED ON YOUR *** IS NOT
FUNNY.
I'VE MADE A LOT OF REALLY STUPID
DECISIONS IN MY LIFE, BUT THIS
IS ONE THAT'S GONNA STICK WITH
ME.
[ LAUGHS ]
HAUNTING ME.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT
IT.
HELP ME!
>> Narrator: TIRED OF BEING THE
BUTT OF HIS OWN JOKE, IAN
DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR SOME NEW
MATERIAL.
>> I'M MIKE PINTO.
I AM FROM DENVER, COLORADO.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE COME IN, AND
THEY JUST HAVE STUFF THAT
THEY'VE OUTGROWN.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE JUST COME IN
WITH NIGHTMARES, AND THAT SENSE
OF TRANSFORMATION YOU CAN GET
IS THE TRANSFORMATION THAT THE
PERSON HAS ABOUT HOW THEY FEEL
ABOUT THEIR TATTOO.
WHY DON'T YOU COME ON BACK,
AND LET'S TAKE A LOOK HERE.
[ GRUNTS ]
LET'S SEE IT, DUDE.
DROP TROU.
LET'S SEE THIS MASTERPIECE
YOU'RE WORKING WITH.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> "SEE MORE."
LOOK AT THAT.
>> YEP, YEP.
THE BUTT TATTOO HAS GOT TO BE
THE WORST TATTOO I'VE EVER
GOTTEN BY FAR.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> AND YOU'RE NOT AFRAID TO GO
A LITTLE BIT BIG, RIGHT?
>> RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> I AM, LIKE, REALLY EXCITED.
I'VE HAD THIS TATTOO FOR ABOUT
TWO YEARS -- TWO...RIDICULOUS,
HUMILIATING YEARS.
>> I'M JUST GONNA TAKE A MARKER
AND KIND OF DOODLE A LITTLE BIT
ON YOUR *** THERE, BUDDY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
>> RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> YOU'RE INTO KIND OF, LIKE,
SKULLS AND DEMONS AND KIND OF
LIKE A MORE DARKER IMAGE.
>> YEAH.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> IT'S NOT EVERY DAY YOU HAVE
SOMEBODY DRAWING ON YOUR
BUTT CHEEKS.
MIKE'S GONNA HOOK ME UP WITH
A SICK SKULL ON ONE CHEEK, A
LITTLE FLOWER ACTION ON THE
OTHER.
>> IF YOU CAN TURN AND SEE IN
THE MIRROR RIGHT HERE.
I KIND OF USED THE FLOWER MORE
AT THE TOP OF YOUR BACK, AND
SOME OF THIS FOLIAGE AND SOME
DARKER SHADING UNDERNEATH TO
TAKE CARE OF THE LETTERING, AND
THAT SHOULD MAKE EVERYTHING GO
AWAY.
>> THE ROUGH SKETCH IN THE
MIRROR THAT I WAS CHECKING OUT,
THAT LOOKED PRETTY GOOD.
I LIKE THE PLACEMENT OF IT, HOW
IT ALL KIND OF HAS A NICE FLOW,
YOU KNOW?
>> OOH, THAT'S A BIG TATTOO,
BUDDY.
YOU ARE IN FOR IT.
>> Narrator: WHILE MIKE HAS
THE LAST LAUGH WITH IAN'S BAD
INK, CHECK OUT THIS TATTOO CASE
THAT WANTS TO EXORCISE HIS
DEMONS.
>> HE HAS SO MANY TATTOOS.
[ CHUCKLES ]
I HAVE A BIG ISSUE WITH THE ONES
THAT ARE ON HIS BACK,
ESPECIALLY, THAT ARE THE DEVIL
AND SKULLS AND GARGOYLES, AND
IT'S SCARY.
>> THE MAIN ONES THAT BOTHER HER
ARE THE SATAN ON MY BACK.
>> 'CAUSE HIS EX-WIFE DID THEM.
>> AND THESE TWO 'CAUSE MY
EX-WIFE DID THEM, AND NOW WE'RE
HEAVILY INVOLVED WITH THE
CHURCH.
>> ♪ HALLELUJAH ♪
>> EVEN WITH A HIGH COLLAR,
YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT THE DEVIL
ON MY BACK.
>> IT COMES UP HIS NECK.
>> YOU KNOW, "HEY, HE'S GOT TWO
DEMONS ON HIS BACK AND SATAN,
AND DEMONS ARE PLAYING YO-YO
WITH HUMAN SKULLS."
THEY'RE THINKING I'M SOME PAGAN
DEATH ANGEL.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> Narrator: BRIAN'S JUST GOING
TO HAVE TO KEEP PRAYING FOR
A NEW TATTOO.
AND BACK AT THE SHOP, IAN'S
TRANSFORMATION IS UNDERWAY.
>> ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.
[ NEEDLE BUZZING ]
>> OH, GOD.
RIGHT THERE IN THE MEAT.
GOD, THAT SUCKS.
>> THAT'LL LEARN YOU.
IAN'S TATTOO IS A LITTLE
CHALLENGING, NOT THE ACTUAL
COVERING OF THE TATTOO PART, BUT
THE PLACEMENT OF IT ON HIS BODY.
I HAD TO KIND OF DO SOMETHING
THAT WRAPPED ACROSS THE WHOLE
HIP AND BUTT AREA.
HAVE TO GET YOU A PAIR OF
ASSLESS CHAPS TO WEAR AROUND...
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> ...SHOW THIS PIECE OFF.
WE WENT WITH KIND OF A
JAPANESE-STYLE THEME, AND IT WAS
SOMETHING THAT HE WANTS TO WORK
INTO A LARGER BACK PIECE, SO WE
STARTED WITH A PIECE ON THE
LOWER PORTION THAT WE CAN BUILD
OFF OF.
>> ALL RIGHT, DEEP BREATHS,
DEEP BREATHS.
>> YOU'RE GONNA BE LIKE THE
MOONING KIND FROM NOW ON -- LIKE
ANY EXCUSE, YOU'RE LIKE, "YEAH,
CHECK IT OUT!"
>> TODAY WILL BE THE LAST TIME
I GET MY BUTT CHEEKS TATTED.
[ LAUGHS ]
YEAH. HOPEFULLY.
[ NEEDLE BUZZING ]
>> Narrator: COMING UP...
WILL IAN FINALLY HAVE A TAT
HE'S PROUD TO SHOW OFF?
>> TAKE A LOOK.
>> OOH.
>> Narrator: IAN'S PERMANENT
JOKE WASN'T FUNNY ANYMORE.
>> THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I'VE
PUT A LOT OF THOUGHT INTO.
I JUST THINK THIS IS GONNA BE
A *** COVER-UP.
I'M NOT GONNA MISS THIS TATTOO.
>> Narrator: SO MIKE ADDED SOME
NEW INK THAT'S GUARANTEED NOT
TO GET A LAUGH.
>> I WANTED TO DEFINITELY DO
SOMETHING THAT KIND OF
REPRESENTED DEATH, SO I USED
A REAL EERIE-LOOKING PURPLE.
ALL RIGHT, BUDDY, WE ARE ALL
FINISHED, AND I BET YOU ARE SO
GLAD TO HEAR THAT.
LET'S HOP UP AND HAVE YOU TAKE
A LOOK AT THIS.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> OKAY.
ABOUT FIVE AND A HALF HOURS TO
GET THIS TATTOO DONE -- LONGEST
FIVE AND A HALF HOURS OF MY
LIFE.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> TAKE A LOOK.
>> [ Chuckling ] YES.
THANK YOU.
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> OH, MAN. IT'S ***'.
>> YEAH? YOU LIKE?
>> YEAH.
>> I LIKE IT, TOO, DUDE.
I'M REALLY STOKED.
I'M GLAD WE GOT TO DO THIS.
>> THAT TATTOO THAT I HAD BEFORE
THIS WAS SOME SQUIGGLY, CRAPPY
WRITING THAT SAID "SEE" AND THEN
"MORE."
[ LAUGHS ]
AND THAT'S LIKE -- THERE'S LIKE
NOTHING LEFT OF THAT.
IT'S ALL JUST COOL TATTOO NOW.
LOVE IT.
>> I THINK THAT'S COOL, MAN.
>> NOW I CAN MOON PEOPLE WITH
PRIDE.
LIKE, "HEY, LOOK AT MY ***."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I'M RYAN.
I'M FROM CANTON, MICHIGAN.
MY TATTOO IS "ART IS LITERACY
OF THE HEART."
I DIDN'T REALIZE IT MYSELF.
MY FRIEND CARSEN LOOKED AT ME,
AND SHE WAS LIKE, "IT'S SPELLED
WRONG."
I'M LIKE, "YOU'RE KIDDING."
I GOT REALLY UPSET.
I WAS LIKE, "I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS SPELLED WRONG."
I HONESTLY COULD NOT THINK OF
A WORSE WORD TO BE MISSPELLED
THAN "LITERACY."
THIS IS AN "E" INSTEAD OF A "C,"
AND THEN WE TRIED TO, LIKE, SEE
IF IT WAS, LIKE, WELL, MAYBE
IT'S JUST A CURLY "C."
NO, IT'S NOT.
IT'S AN "E."
IT'S CLEARLY AN "E."
MY FRIENDS WILL BE LIKE, "OH, I
DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A TATTOO.
LET ME SEE IT."
AND THEY'LL BE LIKE, "OH, IS
THAT SPELLED WRONG?"
I'M LIKE, "YEAH."
OR THEY'LL SAY, "IT'S LITERALLY
OF THE HEART?"
"NO, IT'S LITERACY."
[ CHUCKLES ]
>> Narrator: RYAN MAY HAVE
FAILED ENGLISH CLASS, BUT OUR
LAST WORST TATTOO MADE THE GRADE
FOR OUR FINAL TRANSFORMATION.
>> MY NAME IS DELIA de ***.
THE FIRST TATTOO THAT I GOT,
I ABSOLUTELY HATE.
I WAS 16, AND MY FRIEND SAYS,
"I'LL BUY YOU DINNER AND I'LL
PAY FOR A TATTOO IF YOU GET
SOMETHING."
AND I SAY, "HEY," IN MY DRUNKEN
STUPOR, "WHY DON'T I JUST GET
THE HEINEKEN LEAVES?"
I KNEW I HATED THE HEINEKEN
LEAVES ABOUT A WEEK AFTER I GOT
IT DONE.
IN ORDER TO HIDE THE HEINEKEN
LEAVES, WHAT I WANTED TO DO WAS
HAVE A DEAD FAIRY LOOKING OUT AT
THE WATER WITH A REFLECTION ONTO
THE WATER.
SO, IN MY MIND, THIS WAS GONNA
HELP IT.
I GO TO THIS TATTOO ARTIST.
HE'LL KNOW HOW TO FIX IT.
HE'S THE PROFESSIONAL.
BOY, WAS I WRONG.
I GET UP, AND I FELT LIKE CRYING
WHEN I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR.
IT'S JUST HORRIBLE.
WHEN I GO OUT, YOU KNOW, THEY
THINK I'M A BURN VICTIM.
>> AAH!
>> I'M WORKING FOR THIS PLASTIC
SURGEON, AND HE SAYS, "HEY,
YOU KNOW, I KNOW YOU HATE YOUR
TATTOO.
DO YOU WANT TO BE THE GUINEA PIG
FOR OUR NEW LASER?"
AND I SAID, "SURE."
THE END RESULT AFTER THE LASER
REMOVAL -- IT LOOKS LIKE [BLEEP]
OH, GOD, I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN
TO YOU HOW MUCH I HATE IT.
IT, LIKE, RUINS MY LIFE.
EVERY DAY THAT I LOOK AT MY
TATTOO, I JUST WANT TO TAKE
A DREMEL AND JUST SAND IT OFF.
SO I AM HERE TO GET MY LOUSY
TATTOO COVERED.
>> YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN TATTOOING
14 YEARS -- DONE THOUSANDS AND
THOUSANDS OF TATTOOS.
MOST OF THE TIME WHEN MY CLIENTS
COME IN, THEY WILL GIVE ME AN
IDEA, AND THEN JUST KIND OF SAY,
"YOU KNOW, I KNOW YOUR STYLE" --
YOU KNOW, KIND OF RUN WITH IT.
SO, WHAT ARE WE WORKING WITH
FIRST?
>> WELL, IT'S NOT GOOD, BUT I
KNOW YOU CAN HANDLE IT BECAUSE
IT LOOKS LIKE GARBAGE.
>> I MEAN, I DEFINITELY DEALT
WITH WORSE.
DID YOU HAVE SOME LASER
TREATMENT ON THIS?
>> 12 TIMES OF LASER.
>> 12 TIMES?
>> YEAH.
>> OH, WOW.
>> I WENT THROUGH 12
EXCRUCIATING, FLESH-BURNING,
SMELLING LASER TREATMENTS, AND
THE DAMN THING IS STILL THERE.
IT'S LIKE THE DEVIL.
I MEAN, IT JUST DOESN'T GO
ANYWHERE.
IT'S SO IMPORTANT FOR ME TO GET
THIS DONE BECAUSE IT'S BAD ART,
AND I DON'T WANT TO EVER PORTRAY
BAD ART BECAUSE I'M A MAKEUP
ARTIST.
THAT'S WHAT I DO.
I SPECIALIZE IN PROSTHETICS,
HORROR MAKEUP, SPECIAL EFFECTS,
BLOOD, ANYTHING.
>> SO, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
>> WELL, I DEFINITELY WANT
SOMETHING REALLY DARK WITH SOME
ELEMENTS OF, YOU KNOW, WHAT I'M
PASSIONATE ABOUT, WHICH IS
DEATH...
MERMAIDS...
DEATH, AND MORE DEATH, AND, UH,
VAMPIRES, APOCALYPSE...
>> AND SOME MORE DEATH.
>> UH, YEAH, SOME MORE DEATH.
>> SO, LIKE A VAMPIRE MERMAID?
>> A VAMPIRE MERMAID THAT WAS
FOUND DEAD WITH THE APOCALYPSE
BEHIND HER, AND SHE'S HOLDING
A NAUTILUS 'CAUSE I LOVE
NAUTILUS.
>> OKAY.
>> I WANT HER TO LOOK REALLY
HOT.
>> AND DEAD.
>> AND DEAD. YEAH.
>> OKAY.
>> DEAD CAN BE HOT.
>> SEE WHAT WE CAN COME UP WITH
FOR THAT.
ALL RIGHT.
A LOT OF TIMES WHEN I'M ACTUALLY
SITTING DOWN THE TATTOO, I'LL
FREE-HAND WITH MARKERS DIRECTLY
ON PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE IT'S
GONNA ASSURE THAT I GET A BETTER
FIT TO THE SHAPE OF THE BODY,
IT'S GONNA FLOW BETTER AND LOOK
MORE NATURAL.
>> I DEFINITELY WANT, LIKE,
A BLOOD DROP COMING FROM HER
MOUTH.
>> OKAY, THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM,
BUT YOU DEFINITELY HAVE THIS
WHOLE APOCALYPTIC BACKGROUND
THING -- SUNKEN SHIPS AND,
YOU KNOW, STORM-DARK CLOUDS
AND STUFF, AND THEN I FIGURE,
YOU KNOW, SHE'S GONNA BE MORE
COOLER COLORS.
WE'LL DO A LITTLE WARMER COLORS,
YOU SAID, LIKE THAT APOCALYPTIC
SUNSET.
>> COOL.
I THINK IT LOOKS GREAT.
>> Narrator: COMING UP...
WILL DELIA BE ABLE TO BEAR
THROUGH THE PAIN...
>> OH, MY GOD.
I'M NOT READY, I'M NOT READY.
I'M SORRY.
>> Narrator: ...TO GET THE
TRANSFORMATION SHE'S DYING FOR?
FIND OUT WHEN WE RETURN.
>> OH, GOD.
>> Narrator: DELIA'S ATTEMPT TO
REMOVE A TATTOO LEFT HER A MARK
SHE'D LIKE TO FORGET.
SO SHE MET WITH TIM TO UNDERGO
A TATTOO TRANSFORMATION.
>> DELIA DID LIKE MOST OF WHAT
WAS IN THIS SKETCH.
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO IS A VAMPIRE
MERMAID HOLDING A NAUTILUS IN
HER HANDS WITH LIKE A SUNKEN
SHIP IN THE BACKGROUND LIKE
AGAINST A HORIZON WITH REAL
POST-APOCALYPTIC,
END-OF-THE-WORLD KIND OF SCENE
GOING ON.
THERE WE GO.
THAT'S GOOD.
>> I JUST WANTED TO HAVE
SOMETHING COOL ON THERE THAT
REFLECTS HOW I FEEL AND WHAT I
DO AND, YOU KNOW, BE PROUD OF
SOMETHING.
[ NEEDLE BUZZING ]
HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
I'M SORRY.
>> TELL ME WHEN YOU'RE READY.
>> I DON'T LIKE GETTING TATTOOS
DONE.
I'M ACTUALLY TERRIFIED OF
NEEDLES -- TERRIFIED.
OH, MY GOD.
I'M NOT READY, I'M NOT READY.
I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.
JUST HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
OKAY. NO, I'LL BE FINE.
IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
>> JUST DON'T MOVE.
>> NO, OKAY, I WON'T MOVE.
I WON'T, I WON'T.
>> YOU READY?
>> YEP, I'M READY.
OH, GOD. I'M SORRY.
[ NEEDLE BUZZING ]
OH, [BLEEP] THAT HURTS.
OH, MY GOD.
WHETHER IT'S GETTING BLOOD
TAKEN, GETTING A TATTOO, IT
REALLY FEELS AWFUL.
OW.
UGH!
OW!
OOH, THAT DOESN'T FEEL NICE.
BUT THIS HAS GOT TO GO.
THAT HAS TO BE GONE.
>> Narrator: DELIA'S SHIP IS
ALMOST SET TO SAIL.
WHILE TIM GETS TO WORK...
>> OW.
>> Narrator: ...CHECK OUT THIS
SPELLING-BEE FLUNKY.
>> MY NAME IS TITO RODRIGUEZ.
I GOT THIS TATTOO.
I JUST BLACKED OUT, WENT AND
CALLED ONE OF MY FRIENDS --
"HEY, DUDE.
I WANT TO GET THIS TATTOO, AND I
WANT IT TO SAY 'MENTAL CASE.'"
I GET HOME, I CALL MY GIRL THEN.
I'M LIKE, "HEY, CHECK OUT THIS
TATTOO.
HE KILLED IT, RIGHT?"
SHE'S LIKE, "UH, I THINK
"MENTAL CASE" IS SPELLED WITH
A "T."
[ RECORD SCRATCHES ]
[ BUZZER ]
I'M LIKE, "WHAT?!"
[ Chuckling ] IT IS MISSING
THE "T."
I'M A MENTAL CASE IF I DIDN'T
CATCH THAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I GET HIT UP ALL THE TIME ABOUT
THE TATTOO, AND IT'S TOO LATE
NOW.
I BLEW IT.
>> Narrator: BACK AT THE SHOP,
DELIA'S GETTING THE FINAL
TOUCHES ON HER NEW TATTOO.
[ NEEDLE BUZZING ]
>> OWW.
>> ALL RIGHT, WE ARE DONE.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> FINALLY.
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> WANT TO GO AHEAD AND HOP UP
AND CHECK IT OUT?
>> OKEYDOKE.
DUDE, THAT LOOKS AWESOME.
THAT LOOKS SO FREAKING COOL.
>> I DIDN'T EVEN RUN THIS PART
PAST YOU, BUT I KNEW YOU'D BE
IN TO IT.
I EVEN RAN LIKE SOME BLUE VEINS
COMING FROM THE SIDE OF THE
FACE.
>> I JUST NOTICED THAT.
YES, THAT IS REALLY, REALLY,
REALLY COOL.
I'M REALLY SUPER HAPPY BECAUSE
THE CRAP IS GONE AND REPLACED
WITH A DEAD MERMAID HOLDING
AN AWESOME-LOOKING NAUTILUS WITH
THE APOCALYPSE BEHIND IT.
THERE'S NOTHING IN THE WORLD
I WOULD WANT MORE THAN THAT
ON MY ARM.
NOW I'M NOT GONNA BE EMBARRASSED
ANYMORE.
YOU NEED TO SIGN IT, TOO.
>> OH.
I'VE NEVER SIGNED A TATTOO
BEFORE.
>> I WANT YOU TO, THOUGH.
>> ALL RIGHT.
[ NEEDLE BUZZING ]
>> UHH.
IF THIS WASN'T AWESOME, I WOULD
NEVER LET YOU SIGN MY TATTOO.
>> I WOULD HOPE NOT.
>> THIS TRANSFORMATION MAKES ME
NOT FEEL ASHAMED OF HAVING ARMS,
WHICH, BEFORE, I WOULD HAVE
PROBABLY RATHER NOT HAD AN ARM.
>> ACTUALLY, THAT'S IT.
>> OH, THAT'S IT?
AWESOME. FABULOUS.
I HAVE GOT MY ARM BACK, AND I
WILL NO LONGER BE ASHAMED.
SO, THANK YOU.
IT'S A LIFE-CHANGING EXPERIENCE.
-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS