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Welcome to the Week Four of the grand finale of the Dogsex Show Mustache March.
If this is new to you, please try to keep up.
As you can tell, I've probably got the thickest mustache in the world. Without a doubt, obviously.
But it was a long journey. There was a lot of progress.
Here's a quick timelapse of that.
Great. Can we get an instant replay?
Riveting, stunning, luscious, lavish,
sumptuous, elegant, classy, elaborate.
See, now that I've got this awesome mustache, I'm able to portray a wide range of characters.
Here you go.
Mi nombre es Ramón (or something),
para ti solamenta Moan. [Serena's moan]
Y a mi me gustan
los niños agazapados.
Air force, Navy, Army, Marines...
kicked out of them all 'cause they said I was too mean.
Pent up all this anger from when I was bullied
but now I'm the law; respect my authority.
Breaking up parties so I can score some weed.
Guess how I much I bench? THREE.
You can tell I'm a man when I'm power trippin'.
My birth-name is William, but you can call me Jackie!
Gotta go, gotta go!
Gotta go the distance, runnin' on a fish fence.
Shopping with a lettuce and a Pepsi and a kepsco.
Watter sum'on tips (DING!) and sixteen backflips.
One
two
three
FOUR!!!
five
sicks
seven
ate
nine
tenaleven
twelve
thirteen
FOURTEENS!
fifteen
sixteen.
Thank you for watching the... the... Dogsex Show Mustache March Madness, man.
Many moons Moe.
Oh my god, look, it's coming back. Ahahaaaaaah. Hey!