Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
The stand up comedians present: comic Dylan Rhymer - Deliverance. Live at the Waldorf Hotel. Happiest day of my life. Happiest day of my life - I grew up in a small-town
townhouse community, right.
and everybody knew everybody and everybody knew that this one guy was a huge
*** addict
everyone knew - he just had that look
ah
and then one day, he just went crazy and started talking to jesus
and jesus told him, hey get rid of your *** and he said I'll get right on that Jesus
ah, but what Jesus
forgot to mention is maybe he should'nt have thrown his *** away - like twenty years
worth of ***
into a dumpster in the middle of the townhouse community
eight o'clock in the morning on a saturday
christmas came early, it was like one of those food packages that they get in the third world
right
i wake up my friend is frantically banging on my window. I'm like what, he's like
so excited he can't even form words - he's just...
DUMPSTER! ***! JESUS! Just put on your shoes - I'll explain on the way...
all right!
put my shoes and I jump out the window, go running around the corner and there was the dumpster in question
kids from *** communities from miles - pouring in and out it
like fire ants on a dying baby bird
emerging pregnant with old, gross, 70s armpit hair *** with like one
syllable names like *** and *** and spanking *** and scrank
whatever. and we didn't know where to go - we got all this *** and, there, there was a forest across the street - take it to the forest
that's where *** goes
this is like the ultimate treasure
so we ran into the forest
and we didn't know how we're going to remember where the *** was, but we knew
there was a big stump right in the middle of this little forest clearing
we're like, take it to the stump, right. so we took it to the stump and we just, like, started
stuffing *** into the stump. and we were worried about the weather and
stuff
after forever it just became known as the *** stump that was it. Where you going after
school? What? The *** stump, are you kidding? You go - you tear off a page, you look at it. Looks interesting, I've never
seen that before. Then you move on, right.
And it was there for years. And it started raining
it became the most *** up paper mache
disturbing, contortion creation you could possibly imagine
i hear parents worried about like pornhub dot com
would you rather have your kids engage in the most twisted, depraved, Lord of the Flies
type *** you could possibly imagine
Piggy's got the ***, yes Piggy's got the ***
Stand up comedian Dylan Rhymer's new comedy special
Watch it at http://thestandupcomedians.com
stand up comedy