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[TIRES SQUEALING]
[POLICE SIREN]
-Pull over now.
Come here!
NARRATOR: The FBI's top agent--
-Dad?
-Son, what are you doing here?
[GUNSHOTS]
-You just saw Chirkoff *** someone.
-That mean's he's going to kill me?
NARRATOR: --is going back undercover.
-I'm going to hide you.
-How you going to hide a swag big as this?
NARRATOR: But this time, he's got backup.
-Lawd, lawd, lawd, you're a difficult child, Charmaine
Daisy Pierce.
-Who?
-My great niece.
And you better start sounding like her before you scare
someone.
-How's this? (SINGING IN BARITONE) Swing low, sweet--
[HIGH-PITCHED SHRIEK]
NARRATOR: From 20th Century Fox and Regency Entertainment.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
FEMALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Welcome to the Georgia Girls
School for the Arts.
-This is where I'm going to hide you.
-What up?
So many sweet delicious girls--
[CHUCKLES]
NARRATOR: Martin Lawrence--
-I'm the new house mother, Big Momma.
-That's the understatement of the century.
[DANCE MUSIC ]
[CRASH]
-More like Mary J Bulge.
-Amen.
NARRATOR: --next February--
-Boss, we got him.
-Follow him.
-He's wearing a dress.
-Oh, Ah.
Now I know why they call it the Nutcracker.
NARRATOR: --like father--
-Let the games begin.
-Left-hand green, looks like we all out of green.
-I got your green.
[GRUNTS]
-Oh, hell no!
NARRATOR: --like son.
-You must be our new student, Charmaine.
Just in time for Figure Day.
Now, if you'll kindly just drop the sheet.
-Say, what?
-[GASPS]
-Oops.
There it is.
NARRATOR: Big Mommas, Like Father, Like Son.
-Oh, no, no!
[GUNSHOT]
-Damn.
-I'm not even wearing a clean pair of granny ***.
-Ungh.
-Uh.
-(SINGING) Momma said knock you out.