Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
My sister-in-law, who's half-black half-white, but looks white: blue eyes, whiter than most
white folks, very white. She and I, you know, we kind of grew up together. We raised our
children together so they're first cousins and you, it's wonderful, very, very, multicultural
family. So we're going into Safeway, one day and Kathleen, my sister-in-law is in front
of me. And she's, you know, writing a check for her groceries. Now my daughter, who at
the time was ten years old was standing with me, and I was directly behind her, you know,
getting ready to get my groceries. So, Kathleen comes up, and the checker who's a strawberry
blonde, freckled, very delightful, warm, you know, the checker, this young woman is talking
to Kathleen "Hey, how you doing? Isn't it a nice day today?" They're just chatting up,
and she says "Yes." So Kathy writes her check and she steps off to the side with her
groceries 'cause she's waiting for me. Of course, again, Kathleen looks white right?
So I come up. No conversation, she looks up at me, absolutely no just little chatter and
I, I write my check. My daughter, however, is ten notices immediately the difference
in how she responds to me. So I write my check, and she goes, "I'm gonna need two pieces of
I.D." At which point, my daughter looks at me and she gets very, very embarrassed, and
tears are kind of coming up in her eyes like "Mommy, you're not gonna, you're not gonna
let her do this? Why is she doing this to us? Right?" So I'm trying to figure out what
I should do 'cause behind me are two elderly white women. Right? Now, I'm thinking, okay, so then
I become the angry black woman right? And they're gonna be. And I just, I'm just trying
to second-guess all the drama. So then, I, I just give her the two pieces of I.D. You
know, some things you just got to choose your battles, right? And then it gets worse. She
pulls out the bad check book right? So, this is the book that shows the people who've written
bad checks. So she starts searching for my license in the bad checks at which point,
it's just out of control now. Just as I'm standing there trying to decide what to do,
and this is really deeply humiliating and now my daughter is in full blown emotionally
upset, who's ten. My sister-in-law walks back over and she steps in, and she says, "Excuse
me, why are you doing this?" And the checker goes "What do you, what do you mean?" She
goes, "Why are you taking her through all of these changes? Why are you doing that?"
She goes, "Well, um, this is our policy." She goes, "No, it's not your policy because
you didn't do that with me." "Oh well, I know you, you've been here." She goes, "No, no
she's been here for years, I've only lived here for three months." And so at this point,
two white elderly ladies go "Uh! I can't believe what this checker has done with this woman,
it is totally unacceptable!" At which point, the manager walks over. So the manager walks
over and says, "Is there a problem here?" And then my sister-in-law responds. She goes,
"Yes, there is a problem here. Here's what happened." So you see, she used her white
privilege and even though Kathleen is half black and half white she recognizes what that
means; and she made the statement. She pointed out the injustice and she, as a result of
that one act, influenced everyone in that space. But what would've happened? I can't
know for certain, had the black woman said "This is unfair, why are you doing this to
me?" Would it have had the same impact? But Kathleen knew that she walked through the
world differently than I did and she used her white privilege to educate and make right
a situation that was wrong. That's what you can do, every single day.