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Now that I've stuffed myself with some snacks, I should be okay for a while.
I don't need to crouch behind the kitchen counters anymore even though I been hearing a bunch of footsteps out in the hallway.
Hopefully they're gone now, otherwise I'll have to keep adding onto my extermination list.
So far I was able to count exactly 70! This has to be a record! I didn't know I was this good!
I know I'm eligible for a couple of promotions. *** Sarge! I'll go for presidency!
And this aint science fiction like 300 or its sequels. This is REAL, ***!
Now I need to go out and meet up with that robot
but those passing guards is a pretty big concern for me.
Maybe they're all after the poor thing. Better the sentry than my ***!
And I just heard'em. Are they...
Aw man, they're just standing in the hallway.
And after hearing that many footsteps earlier, I assume there's more around the corner.
Maybe if I could just sneak my way around without'em noticing...
Good, they didn't notice. Just back up slowly and quietly.
Ah ***!
***' hot cheetos!
So hot, crunchy, and cheesay. It'll spice up your life!
No one said anything about cheetos supplying gas to the ***!
It BLEW my cover!
Waitin' for me? Here I am! That's RIGHT!
Take some more! Boo Yah!
Still here homies!
Gonna charge in? C'mon c'mon!
Boom! Take that! And that!
You guys sucK monkey balls!
Gonna corner me? Bring it on ladies! Outta my face!
Jeezus! Is that all of'em? I need a breather.
After all that I took NO damage! Pretty fricken good for goin' up against an entire swat team.
This is pure ownage! Or so much that they just lack tactics.
It's quiet. Maybe it's a trap.
No, zombies don't think!
The hallway's cleared.
Well, smeared with blood and bodies. But standing-zombie-wise, cleared.
Just don't drop your guard. Last time I did that a rat jumped out at me.
Yoo hoo!
Here to help me?! How 'bout helping me with the extermination of possessed UAC!
Hoy! Ugh! Don't know when to surrender?!
Agh! ***! Someone finally landed a shot! But I still ***' hate you!
Like I said this armor had been keepin' me well through all combats.
I guess all of the guards are unfortunate to wear non-bulletproof uniforms.
Damn straight! What did sarge say? I'm the ranking FMG?
Whatever that means! I'm the ranking FMG, ***!
FMG for ***' Marine Guy! Yeah!
And you guys? I'll call you guys the MGBs for Marine Guy's ***!
I could probably keep this up all day! How do these guys qualify to be security?
They're like my aerobics partners 'cause I'm getting a good burnout from all of this.
By the time I get home, well if I get home, I'll be so ripped up and hardcore.
I'll look so sexy that girls on earth will hit *** heights just by looking at me!
Ah, not the place to wanna take a dump.
Ooh, a med kit. I can cover up my wound.
Other than that, the bathroom looks pretty cleared, what about me?
Woah! Was I seeing things? What the?
Another fiery rat!
Uuh, wow. I was sure I saw blood dripping from the ceiling.
Am I being deluded? It looks clean.
Maybe it's the after effect of that drug I injected earlier. I ain't touchin' that stuff again.
Why does all this crap keep happenin'?
Fate has its funny ways whether you survive or die in an incident.
Be on alerty for illusionary traps.
Oh! Hey!
Sweet, it didn't shoot me. Does this mean we're gonna work together now?
*** that. I'll let the sentry do all the work.
So speaking of fate, I know people believe "Everything happens for a reason."
But does it only occur to me that "maybe some things only happen for God's amusement?"
or "Just 'cause He felt like it"?
There was that one time a woman wept at a funeral
'cause her son drowned by getting his head stuck in a toilet bowl.
Her Christian friend said "Things happen for a reason. God had a purpose for your son."
Then I came up and said, "Yeah, God was bored."
I mean, how the *** do you get your head stuck in a toilet bowl?
You see that on TV and you just laugh.
Ow ***! He randomly shot me! That was not cool!
But yeah, I didn't really say that to the poor woman, but I thought it.
The only reason I think this is because I'm still wondering the purpose for all this ***.
Say what? He wants me to send a transmission? Where?
I didn't know I was assigned another mission.
I suppose wandering mindlessly hadn't been all that wasteful.
And I just noticed I hadn't heard any screaming through the earpiece for a while.
Did everyone get eaten? Other than me and maybe a few others?
How's that *** at the ladder holding up?
Oh wait, I presumed him to be dead. That's right.
Oh well, it's time to leave Mars City. I've got new places to discover.