Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
-The Celibacy Club is now in session.
Thanks to a school rule that says we have to let anyone join the club, we're welcoming a new member this week.
Rachel Whatshername.
-Where are all the boys?
-Down the hall.
First half hour, we separate.
Then we come together to share our faith.
-I'm still on the fence about the Celibacy Club.
I mean, I only joined to get into Quinn Fabray's pants.
Still, it is a productive way for us guys to get together and talk about *** issues.
-Think I'm gonna kill myself.
I'm serious.
We're bombarded with *** imagery every day:
Beer ads, those short skirts.
I'm supposed to be surrounded by temptation, not be able to do anything about it?
-Are you kidding?
Those skirts are crunchy toast.
Santana Lopez bent over in hers the other day, and I swear I could see her ovaries.
-God bless the perv that invented these.
Remember the power motto, girls.
ALL: It's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing.
-Oh! Back it up like a dump truck, baby.
-So, how far does Quinn let you get anyway?
-We grind, make out.
-But how do you keep from arriving early?
Whenever I grind, Cinco de Mayo.
-It's not a problem for me, man.
Actually, it's a big problem.
Somebody once told me that to keep from erupting too early, you should think of dead kittens and stuff.
But the only image that works for me happened the day my mom took me out to practice for my driver's permit.
-Pretty good, honey.
Who says a father figure's necessary, huh?
-Driving's fun.
-Yeah.
Oh, my God! Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh, my God, you killed him. What are you gonna do?
-Let's pair up for the Immaculate Affection.
Now, remember, if the balloon pops, the noise makes the angels cry.
-You enchant me.
-Stop it!
-Take it.
Ah, yeah!
-Finn!
-It must have hit my zipper.
-You know what? This is a joke.
Did you know that most studies have demonstrated that celibacy doesn't work in high schools?
Our hormones are driving us too crazy to abstain.
The second we start telling ourselves that there's no room for compromise, we act out.
The only way to deal with teen sexuality is to be prepared. That's what contraception is for.
-Don't you dare mention the "C" word.
-You wanna know a dirty little secret that none of them want you to know?
Girls want sex just as much as guys do.
-Is-is that accurate?