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- HEY, YOU GUYS, I GOT TO LEAVE EARLY.
I GOT THAT HOUSE INSPECTION TODAY.
- SO WHAT KIND OF INSPECTION IS IT?
- JUST, YOU KNOW,
THE FINAL INSPECTION BEFORE YOU BUY THE HOUSE.
- I DON'T KNOW, DUDE.
I'D JUST MAKE SURE THERE'S NO MOLD, NO TERMITES...
- THE HOUSE IS FINE. THERE AIN'T NO TERMITES.
OKAY?
CAN'T YOU JUST BE HAPPY I'M BUYING A HOUSE?
IT'S A GOOD HOUSE.
- CHUMLEE, IF YOU CAN AFFORD TO BUY A HOUSE,
THE ODDS ARE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT.
- [laughs]
[country rock music]
- AT MY SHOP, FAMILY COMES FIRST
AND MONEY COMES SECOND...
DEPENDING ON WHO YOU ASK.
BUT THE BEST PART,
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GONNA COME THROUGH THAT DOOR.
THIS IS PAWN STARS.
[upbeat Latin music]
♪ ♪
[cartoon gunshot]
- HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
- HEY, PRETTY GOOD. HOW YOU DOING?
- ALL RIGHT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE HERE?
- GOT A HANDWRITTEN LETTER FROM GEORGE WASHINGTON HIMSELF.
- WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?
- SO I FOUND IT AT AN ESTATE SALE
IN RICHMOND, VIRGINIA.
BOUGHT A NICE DECORATIVE MIRROR.
GET TO THE HOUSE, GO TO PUT THE MIRROR UP,
AND THE CLOTH THAT COVERED THE BACK OF IT RIPPED OPEN
AND TAPED UNDERNEATH, DOWN AT THE VERY BOTTOM,
WAS THAT GUY RIGHT THERE.
- THIS IS REALLY INTERESTING.
- FROM WHAT I'VE RESEARCHED ONLINE,
IT LOOKS ALMOST EXACTLY LIKE
OTHER DOCUMENTS THAT GEORGE HAS WRITTEN.
SO I FEEL LIKE IT IS THE REAL ONE.
- GEORGE WASHINGTON REALLY WAS THAT GREAT GUY
YOU READ IN HISTORY.
I MEAN, HE WAS THE RICHEST MAN IN THE UNITED STATES.
HE RISKED EVERYTHING FOR THE REVOLUTION.
BECAUSE IF THEY LOST THE REVOLUTION,
IT'S NOT LIKE THEY WOULD'VE SLAPPED HIM ON THE WRIST.
THEY WOULD'VE HUNG HIM.
AS FAR AS U.S. HISTORICAL FIGURES,
NOTHING'S BIGGER THAN GEORGE WASHINGTON--PERIOD.
WITHOUT HIM, OUR COUNTRY WOULD LOOK NOTHING LIKE IT DOES TODAY.
SO IF WE HAVE AN UNDISCOVERED HANDWRITTEN LETTER
BY GEORGE WASHINGTON,
I'M HOLDING THE HOLY GRAIL.
THIS IS REALLY COOL.
IT SAYS OCTOBER 21, '94, WHICH I'M ASSUMING IS 1794.
- YES.
- IT READS,
"SIR, BEING ABOUT TO RETURN TO THE SEAT OF GOVERNMENT,
"I CANNOT TAKE MY DEPARTURE WITHOUT CONVEYING THROUGH YOU
TO THE ARMY UNDER YOUR COMMAND"--
SO HE'S WRITING TO A GENERAL--
"WHICH HAVE LED THEM SO CAREFULLY TO QUIT
"THEIR FAMILIES AND HOMES AND COMFORTS
TO PERFORM A LONG AND FATIGUING MARCH."
THIS IS ABOUT THE MILITARY MARCHING IN '94.
THIS HAS TO BE ABOUT THE WHISKEY REBELLION.
YOU EVER HEAR OF THE WHISKEY REBELLION?
- NO. - OKAY.
- WHAT IS THE WHISKEY REBELLION?
- RIGHT AFTER THE REVOLUTION, WE WERE REALLY IN DEBT.
SO THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT WAS TRYING TO COME UP WITH A WAY
TO COLLECT TAXES.
SO EVERYONE SORT OF CAME TOGETHER AND SAYS,
"LET'S TAX WHISKEY."
SO THERE WAS FARMERS IN PENNSYLVANIA
AND THEY DIDN'T WANT TO PAY THE TAXES.
IT JUST BASICALLY CAME DOWN TO GEORGE WASHINGTON
GETTING 13,000 TROOPS,
STARTED MARCHING TOWARDS PENNSYLVANIA...
- SO THIS WAS ALL ABOUT WHISKEY?
- WHEN YOU'VE BEEN PISSED OFF, YOU'RE IN A BAR,
AND SOMEONE CAME UP--
"GIVE ME 50 BUCKS OR YOU CAN'T DRINK THAT WHISKEY."
- YEAH, THEY HAD EVERY RIGHT TO RISE UP.
[laughter]
- HOW MUCH YOU WANT FOR IT?
- ABOUT 3,500.
- SOMETHING LIKE THIS THAT DEALS WITH A HISTORIC EVENT...
WE'RE PROBABLY TALKING A LOT MORE.
MY BEST GUESS AT THE MOMENT IS, IF THIS LETTER IS ALL LEGIT...
IT SHOULD BE WORTH AT LEAST $100,000.
- WOW.
- I'M JUST NOT BUYING THE FACT THAT A HANDWRITTEN LETTER
FROM GEORGE WASHINGTON WAS JUST FOUND IN THE BACK OF A MIRROR.
- PEOPLE SPEND A LOT OF MONEY FAKING THINGS
THAT ARE WORTH THIS KIND OF MONEY.
SO I'M GONNA CALL SOMEONE UP. I'M GONNA GET HIM DOWN HERE.
I'M GONNA GET HIM TO LOOK AT THIS.
- OKAY.
JUST THE THOUGHT OF LEAVING HERE TODAY
WITH A BIG SACK OF CASH,
IT GIVES YOU A LOT OF ANXIETY, BUT IT MAKES YOU EXCITED TOO.
- WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT OVER THERE?
- LOOKING AT FENCING FOR MY NEW HOUSE.
- WHY DO YOU NEED A FENCE?
- GOOD FENCE MAKES GOOD NEIGHBORS.
NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOU WALKING AROUND IN YOUR SKIVVIES.
- [laughs]
- I JUST BOUGHT MY FIRST HOUSE.
IT PASSED INSPECTION, AND NOW I'M GONNA MAKE IT MY DREAM HOME.
I'M GONNA DO ALL KINDS OF STUFF.
I'M GONNA PUT A SAND VOLLEYBALL COURT,
52-INCH TV WITH THEATER SOUND SYSTEM...
I'M PUTTING A GAME ROOM, A POOL TABLE--EVERYTHING.
- HOW DO YOU PLAN ON AFFORDING ALL THIS STUFF FOR THE HOUSE?
- I'M HAVING A HOUSEWARMING PARTY...
I MEAN, I BASICALLY HAVE A LIST.
YOU CAN GO TO IT.
I'LL SEND YOU THE LINK, AND YOU CAN CLICK ON IT
AND IT TELLS YOU ALL THE THINGS I WANT.
- I'M PROUD OF CHUM FOR BUYING A HOUSE.
BUT HE'S INSANE IF HE THINKS I'M GONNA BUY SOMETHING
FROM HIS GIFT REGISTRY.
IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S GETTING MARRIED OR HAVING A BABY.
- I DON'T THINK I CAN GO.
- YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS.
- I'LL... YEAH, BUT I'LL PROBABLY BE BUSY.
- [laughs]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
[bell ringing]
ADD NEW TRANSACTION.
- OKAY.
- AND WE'RE GONNA SEARCH FOR THE CUSTOMER.
- ALL RIGHTY.
- I'VE BEEN TRAINING LILLY, OUR INTERN,
ON OUR COMPUTER SYSTEM HERE.
BUT LET'S BE HONEST,
ME TEACHING SOMEONE HOW TO USE A COMPUTER
IS SORT OF LIKE THE BLIND LEADING THE BLIND.
- EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE A CLASSIC STATUE I'D LIKE YOU TO TAKE A LOOK AT.
- A CLASSIC STATUE. HOW BIG IS THE STATUE?
- 8, 9 FEET TALL?
- IS IT ON A TRUCK? - IT IS.
- OKAY.
JUST GO THE ALLEY. I'LL OPEN UP THE GATE FOR YOU.
- OKAY. - OKAY?
- ALL RIGHT. THANKS.
- A CLASSIC STATUE COULD BE ANYTHING
FROM MICHELANGELO'S DAVID TO THE STATUE OF LIBERTY.
BUT SOMETHING'S TELLING ME IT'S NEITHER OF THOSE.
[laughs]
WHOA. [chuckles]
THAT IS ABSOLUTELY GREAT.
- WHAT IS IT? - IT'S BIG BOY.
- WHO? - BIG BOY.
- BACK IN THE DAY, THESE WERE EVERYWHERE.
- OKAY.
- 'CAUSE THERE WAS BIG BOY RESTAURANTS
ALL AROUND THE COUNTRY.
THIS WAS HOW YOU KNEW IT WAS A BIG BOY RESTAURANT
'CAUSE THERE WAS BIG BOY OUT IN FRONT OF IT.
- OKAY.
- GOD, YOU MAKE ME FEEL OLD. [chuckles]
- BIG BOY IS A GIANT STATUE
HOLDING A BIG DOUBLE-DECKER HAMBURGER.
I THOUGHT IT WAS VERY UNIQUE,
AND I USED IT OUT IN FRONT OF MY BUSINESS FOR MANY YEARS.
HE'S IN VERY GOOD CONDITION.
I'M GONNA ASK 20,000,
BUT THE LEAST I'LL TAKE IS 10,000.
- WHERE DID YOU GET BIG BOY?
- WELL, I GOT HIM FROM A REAL GOOD FRIEND OF MINE
IN MY HOME TOWN WHO OWNED A SIGN SHOP,
AND HE CALLED ME UP AND TOLD ME
THAT HE HAD SOMETHING I REALLY NEEDED FOR MY BUSINESS.
- DO YOU OWN A BIG BOYS? - NO.
- [laughs] - IT'S A SPORTS BAR.
- ALL RIGHT.
- I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S SO SPECIAL
ABOUT THIS BIG BOY.
- ALL RIGHT.
NOW, THE REASON BOB'S BIG BOY GOT SO FAMOUS
WAS BECAUSE OF THE HAMBURGER.
- OKAY.
- TO YOU IT LOOKS LIKE A COMMON HAMBURGER.
BUT IN 1937, THE GUY WHO STARTED BOB'S BIG BOY
INVENTED THE DOUBLE-DECKER HAMBURGER.
- OKAY.
- THE DOUBLE-DECKER BURGER
BASICALLY PUT BOB'S BIG BOY ON THE MAP.
THERE MAY NOT BE AS MANY AS THERE USED TO BE,
BUT THERE ARE STILL OVER 400 OF THESE RESTAURANTS
IN THE UNITED STATES.
HOW MUCH YOU WANT FOR IT?
- $20,000.
- WHERE DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT NUMBER?
- WELL, MY FRIEND THAT I BOUGHT IT FROM
THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE A FAIR PRICE.
- I'VE SEEN, LIKE, $15,000 BIG BOYS.
BUT THOSE ARE LIKE 14-, 15-FOOT-TALL BIG BOYS.
THIS IS WHAT, LIKE, 8 FEET?
- YEAH, 8 OR 9. - YEAH.
WHICH MAKES IT, IN, LIKE, PERFECT SHAPE,
WORTH, LIKE, 5 GRAND.
THIS IS FAR FROM PERFECT.
I MEAN, YOU'VE GOT RUNNING PAINT DOWN HERE;
WE HAVE BLOTCHY PAINT.
YOU CAN SEE WHERE IT'S BEEN PAINTED OVER AND PAINTED OVER.
- OKAY.
- IT'S A FEW GRAND
FOR SOMEONE TO STRIP THIS THING DOWN AND REPAINT IT.
- SURE.
- I MEAN, I'M REALLY THINKING 2 GRAND.
- YEAH, I CAN'T DO THAT.
10 GRAND WOULD BE MY BOTTOM DOLLAR.
- [sighs] IT'S JUST NOT THERE.
THANKS FOR STOPPING BY, THOUGH, MAN.
- HEY, YOU BET. THANK YOU. - I DIG IT.
- IT WAS REALLY NICE MEETING YOU.
- NICE MEETING YOU. - THANKS.
- I HAVE PEOPLE TELL ME DIFFERENT
THAN WHAT THE INFORMATION HE HAS.
AND I'M NOT SAYING HE'S WRONG. I'M NOT SAYING HE'S RIGHT.
WE JUST DIFFER ON IT, AND IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.
BY GEORGE WASHINGTON
WHEN HE WAS KNEE-DEEP IN THE WHISKEY REBELLION.
IF IT'S LEGIT, WE'RE TALKING SIX FIGURES EASY.
SO STUART IS GONNA TAKE A LOOK.
- STUART. - HEY, HOW ARE YOU, RICK?
- GOOD.
- HEY, COREY. GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
- WITH THIS MUCH CASH ON THE LINE,
I NEED TO BE 100% SURE.
AND STUART IS MY GO-TO GUY ON HISTORICAL DOCUMENTS.
- I WAS REALLY EXCITED WHEN YOU CALLED ME OVER
BECAUSE THIS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY IMPORTANT AMERICAN HISTORY.
I MEAN, THIS IS ONE OF THE FIRST TIMES THAT GEORGE WASHINGTON
REALLY USED THE POWER OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.
PEOPLE WERE UPRISING--
- OKAY.
- IN WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA.
THEY DIDN'T WANT TO PAY TAXES.
TARRING AND FEATHERING THE TAX COLLECTORS,
WHICH MAY STILL BE A FAMOUS AMERICAN PASTIME THESE DAYS.
- I DON'T THINK IT'S A BAD IDEA. [chuckles]
- ALL RIGHT, WHAT QUESTIONS CAN I ANSWER FOR YOU, RICK?
- OKAY, IS IT REALLY SIGNED BY GEORGE WASHINGTON?
AND HOW MUCH IS THE DAMN THING WORTH?
- OKAY.
IN THE PANTHEON OF AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL AUTOGRAPHS,
THERE ARE THREE AT THE TOP: GEORGE WASHINGTON,
THOMAS JEFFERSON, AND ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
ABOUT TEN YEARS AGO,
THERE WERE A COUPLE GEORGE WASHINGTON LETTERS
THAT DEALT WITH THE WHISKEY REBELLION
THAT SOLD FOR ABOUT $120,000, $130,000 AT AUCTION.
IT WOULD PROBABLY BE HIGHER NOW.
THERE ARE A FEW THINGS I USE
TO AUTHENTICATE THESE TYPES OF DOCUMENTS.
SO FIRST I'M LOOKING FOR PERIOD PAPER.
THEY USED WHAT'S CALLED LAID PAPER BACK THEN.
SO THERE SHOULD BE PARALLEL LINES ABOUT AN INCH APART
IF YOU HOLD IT UP TO THE LIGHT.
SEE THOSE LINES THAT RUN DOWN?
SO THAT DEFINITELY IS PERIOD PAPER.
THAT'S A GOOD SIGN FOR YOU.
THE NEXT THING I WANT TO CHECK
IS TO MAKE SURE THIS IS IN GEORGE WASHINGTON'S HANDWRITING.
SO I BROUGHT IN AN EXAMPLE HERE.
LET'S LOOK AT A COMMONLY USED WORD LIKE "THE."
SO WE CAN FIND A WORD "THE," THERE
AND A "THE" THERE.
AND IF YOU START LOOKING AT THE OVERALL FEEL OF IT,
THE LETTER FORMATION--
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
SO, UNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS NOT
IN GEORGE WASHINGTON'S HANDWRITING.
ONE THING THIS COULD POSSIBLY BE
IS THE BODY OF THE LETTER
IS IN WASHINGTON'S SECRETARY'S HANDWRITING
AND WASHINGTON SIGNED THE LETTER.
- ALL RIGHT.
- LET'S COME OVER HERE AND LOOK
AT THE GEORGE WASHINGTONS SIDE-BY-SIDE.
HERE, HE SIGNS G-E-O WASHINGTON,
WHERE IN LIFE, HE USUALLY SIGNED G-O WASHINGTON.
YOU CAN SEE THAT IT'S VERY DIFFERENT
THAN THE WAY IT'S WRITTEN OVER HERE.
YEAH, SO I DON'T THINK
THIS IS IN GEORGE WASHINGTON'S HANDWRITING
OR SIGNED BY GEORGE WASHINGTON AT ALL.
- AH, THAT SUCKS.
- YOU HAVE A REALLY NICE NAPKIN.
- HOWEVER, I DO BELIEVE IT IS OLD AND ANTIQUE.
THIS IS CALLED A CONTEMPORARY COPY.
IT PROBABLY IS 220 YEARS OLD.
IF SOMEBODY WANTED TO KEEP A RECORD OF THE ORIGINAL,
THEY WOULD MAKE A COPY FOR THEMSELF.
THIS PROBABLY HAS A RETAIL VALUE OF ABOUT $4,000.
- NICE.
- SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT A COPY IS ACTUALLY WORTH $4,000?
- RIGHT.
COPIES CAN BE WORTH MONEY,
AND THIS ONE HAS REALLY TERRIFIC CONTENT.
THIS WOULD BE ABOUT AS GOOD A CONTEMPORARY COPY
AS YOU CAN GET.
- ALL RIGHT.
WELL, THANKS FOR BUSTING HIS BUBBLE.
- ANYTIME. [laughter]
- THANKS, MAN. - NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
WHEN I CAME OVER TO THE SHOP,
I KNEW THAT THE ORIGINAL GEORGE WASHINGTON LETTER
WAS IN THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS.
HOWEVER, SOMETIMES FAMOUS PEOPLE MAKE MORE THAN ONE COPY
OF FAMOUS LETTERS AND I THOUGHT, PERHAPS,
THIS WOULD BE ONE OF THEM.
FOR EXAMPLE, ABRAHAM LINCOLN
ACTUALLY WROTE OUT FIVE DIFFERENT COPIES
OF THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS IN HIS LIFETIME.
- I DON'T MEAN TO BEAT YOU UP,
BUT I'LL GIVE YOU 1,000 BUCKS FOR IT.
- AH, I FEEL LIKE THAT'S LEAVING $3,000 FOR YOU TO JUST *** UP
THE NEXT TIME SOMEBODY COMES ALONG TO BUY IT.
LET'S GO 2,000.
I'LL BE OUT THE DOOR RIGHT NOW WITH 2 GRAND.
- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. I'LL GIVE YOU 1,500 BUCKS.
THAT'S THE BEST I CAN GO.
LOOK AROUND MY SHOP,
YOU'LL FIND ALL KINDS OF THINGS FROM THE 1700s.
- 1,500, YOU GOT A DEAL.
- ALL RIGHT. WRITE HIM UP, COREY.
- ALL RIGHT, MAN. COME WITH ME.
- $1,500 IS A LOT MONEY.
AND TO BE ABLE TO WALK AWAY WITH JUST THAT TODAY,
I'M PRETTY SATISFIED-- FEELS GOOD.
[cash register dings]
- CHUM JUST GOT A NEW PLACE,
AND AGAINST OUR BETTER JUDGMENT,
COREY AND I ARE GOING TO HIS HOUSEWARMING PARTY.
I DON'T THINK IT'S POSSIBLE
TO SET MY EXPECTATIONS LOW ENOUGH FOR THIS PARTY.
[laughs]
[knocks on door]
- QUICHE? - QUICHE.
- OH, JUST HAVE ONE. - SURE.
- YEAH, COME ON IN. - ALL RIGHT.
- THANKS FOR COMING OVER, GUYS.
- OH, YOU GUYS BROUGHT GIFTS. THAT WAS NICE OF YOU.
- YEAH.
- COME ON, I'LL SET THEM OVER HERE.
- THIS IS YOUR PET LIZARD?
- YEAH, HE'S SUNBATHING RIGHT NOW.
- ALL RIGHT.
- WHERE'S EVERYBODY AT? I THOUGHT IT WAS A PARTY.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THIS IS A PARTY.
SO YOU GUYS WANT TO GET THE TOUR?
- SURE.
- YEAH, THIS IS THE KITCHEN.
I'M TALKING 'FRIDGERATOR, STOVE,
DISHWASHER--ALL THE MAJOR APPLIANCES RIGHT HERE.
- WHAT ELSE WE GOT?
- GOT THE BIG SCREEN, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
SITTING ON THE COUCH...
LET ME SHOW YOU WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS.
THE BEDROOM.
- WHERE THE TRAGIC HAPPENS.
THANKS FOR PUTTING THAT IMAGE IN MY HEAD, BUDDY.
- OKAY.
- CHUM BECOMING A GROWN-UP.
- IT'S ABOUT TIME.
- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- HE SAID HE HAD CHICKEN WINGS. I THOUGHT I'D SHOW UP.
[knock at door]
- SOMEONE'S HERE.
HEY!
- WHAT'S HAPPENING, BROTHER?
- IT'S GOOD, BROTHER. I'M GOOD.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU, BRO. - HOW YOU DOING?
- GOOD TO SEE YOU. - HOW ARE YOU, BROTHER?
- GOOD. HOW YOU DOING?
- HEY, HOW'S IT GOING, MAN?
- I FIRST WALKED IN,
THE PARTY SEEMED A LITTLE QUIET, A LITTLE SLOW.
BUT, YOU KNOW,
IT TAKES A LITTLE WHILE TO GET THINGS ROLLING,
SO I'M OPTIMISTIC.
- ALL RIGHT, I GOT HORS D'OEUVRES.
- ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
- ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT.
- I'M ASSUMING THAT'S A FISH STICK?
- YEAH. - IT'S A LITTLE COLD.
- YEAH.
- LITTLE SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE.
all: OH...
- RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT.
- SHRIMP?
- CHUM, HOW LONG HAS THAT BEEN SITTING OUT?
- ALL DAY.
- ALL RIGHT. WELL, I WANT TO GO.
- BUT WE HAVEN'T OPENED PRESENTS YET.
- BUT YOU'RE OUT OF CHICKEN WINGS.
- SEE YA, POPS.
- SEE YOU LATER, MR. H. - HAVE A GOOD TIME.
- THE BEST PART OF A HOUSEWARMING PARTY
IS GETTING THE PRESENTS.
TOO BAD THE OLD MAN DECIDED TO BAIL.
BUT I'M STILL GONNA MAKE OUT LIKE A BANDIT.
- YOU NEED ANY HELP, CHUM?
- NO, I GOT IT. ACTUALLY, YEAH.
HOLD THESE FOR ME.
ALL RIGHT, LET ME GET ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS.
- HERE YOU GO, CHUM.
- HOPEFULLY YOU GUYS LOOKED AT MY LIST.
[dish clattering]
DUDE, I'M NOT GONNA BUILD A SANDCASTLE.
WHO GOT ME THIS?
- A SANDCASTLE?
BRO, THAT'S HOUSEWARE STUFF, MAN.
YOU GOT A MIXING BOWL. YOU GOT A LADLE.
YOU GOT A ROLLING PIN.
- I GET ALL MY UTENSILS AT THE DRIVE-THROUGH.
[laughter]
WHAT ELSE DO WE GOT?
THIS IS REALLY LAME.
[laughter]
- WE GOT SOME HOUSEWARMING GIFTS FOR HIM,
WHICH HE CALLED LAME.
WELL, I CALL HIS HOUSEWARMING PARTY LAME.
- HERE'S MY GIFT, CHUM.
IT'S A CANDY DISH.
IT'S GOT A PAWN SHOP TAG ON IT.
YOU GOT ME A GIFT FROM THE PAWN SHOP?
- YEAH, I SELL NICE STUFF AT THE PAWN SHOP.
[laughter]
- I WENT OUT OF MY WAY
TO WELCOME THESE GUYS INTO MY NEW HOME,
AND ALL I GET IS A BUNCH OF CRAPPY GIFTS IN RETURN?
LAME.
- HERE YOU GO, MAN.
- OH, IT'S GOT A CARD.
"YOU ARE A LAZY S.O.B. MOST OF THE TIME.
"BUT I AM PROUD OF YOU.
RICHARD SENIOR."
I WONDER WHAT DUMB GIFT THE OLD MAN GOT ME.
WE ALL KNOW HOW CHEAP HE CAN BE.
[paper crinkling]
DUDE, THIS WAS ON MY LIST.
KARAOKE WITH LYRICS ON THE TV.
DUDE, IT'S GOT DISCO LIGHTS!
- NICE. - HELL YES.
- NICE, NICE, NICE.
- CHUM, DISCO-DISCO. BOOM-BOOM.
LET'S DO THIS.
- THESE GUYS GAVE ME CRAP PRESENTS.
AND THEN THEY WANT TO USE MY KARAOKE MACHINE?
I DON'T THINK SO.
UM, YEAH. MAYBE NEXT TIME.
IT'S GETTING KIND OF LATE.
- ARE YOU SERIOUS, DUDE?
- SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE KICKING US OUT OF YOUR HOUSE?
IT'S GETTING LATE. YEAH.
- I'M OUT. [sighs]
- THANKS FOR HAVING US, MAN. - YEAH, THANKS, CHUM.
- BYE, CHUM. - CONGRATS ON THE HOUSE, MAN.
- DUDE, SERIOUSLY?
WE ACTUALLY CAME HERE FOR THAT?
YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
YOU GUYS WANT TO GO GET SOMETHING TO EAT?
- YEP. - YEAH, LET'S GO.
[rock and roll music]
♪ ♪
- HEY, WHAT'S UP, BUDDY?
- HI. HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. HOW YOU DOING?
- GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
- HATE TO TOOT MY OWN HORN, BUT I THINK I'VE GOT SOMETHING
YOU'RE REALLY GONNA LIKE TODAY.
IT'S THIS--
- THE LAMEST JOKE I'VE EVER HEARD YOU SAY.
- I KNOW. I'M LAME ANYWAY.
I'M OLD. I'M LAME.
[trumpet fanfare]
I'M A MILITARY COLLECTOR,
AND I GOT IT AT A GARAGE SALE IN GETTYSBURG, PENNSYLVANIA.
I HOPE TO GET $4,000 FOR IT, BUT I WOULD TAKE $2,000.
- DEFINITELY COOL.
- BACK IN THE DAY, IF YOU HAD A PISTOL--
YOU HAD MUSKET OR ANYTHING ELSE--
YOU HAD A POWDER HORN.
- YEAH, I MEAN, YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GET AMBUSHED
BY A BUNCH OF GUYS SHOOTING AT YOU
AND YOUR POWDER'S LIKE MUD.
HOW WOULD YOU USE IT, GRANDPA?
- WELL, YOU GOT A LITTLE MEASURE.
- MM-HM.
- IT'S LIKE A LITTLE METAL CUP.
YOU POUR THE POWDER INTO IT
AND THEN YOU POUR THE POWDER INTO THE MUSKET.
PUT YOUR *** IN, WHICH IS A PIECE OF COTTON.
- MM-HM.
- PUT THE BALL IN AND RAM IT HOME.
- BACK IN THE DAY,
EVERYBODY USED HORNS LIKE THIS TO CARRY GUNPOWDER.
SINCE THEY'RE NATURALLY WATERPROOF AND HOLLOW INSIDE,
IT'S LIKE NATURE PROVIDED THE PERFECT TOOL.
- IT'S VERY UNIQUE. IT'S GOT GOOD CARVINGS.
A LOT OF THIS STUFF, EVEN BACK IN THE DAY,
WAS MADE AS A DECORATION.
- I MEAN, I LIKE HOW IT HAS THE PSEUDO EAGLE CLAW
ON THE BOTTOM OF IT.
- RIGHT. RIGHT.
- THIS IS PROBABLY BEFORE 1800. - YEAH.
- THIS IS A FEDERAL MOTIF.
THE FEDERAL PARTY WENT AWAY IN ABOUT 1804, 1805.
- WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING TO GET OUT OF IT, MY MAN?
- WELL, I THINK IT'S WORTH ABOUT $4,000.
- I AIN'T PAYING 4,000, COREY.
- DO YOU HAVE ANY PAPERWORK OR ANYTHING WITH IT?
- NO, I DON'T BECAUSE IT WAS IN A SATCHEL IN A GARAGE SALE
THAT I PICKED UP WITH A UNION JACKET.
- YOU STILL GOT THE UNION JACKET?
- NO, I HAVE ALREADY DISPOSED OF THAT.
SON OF A GUN...
- I'VE SOLD POWDER HORNS
FOR TENS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.
BUT I'VE ALSO SEEN THEM GO FOR CHUMP CHANGE.
THIS ONE'S GOT A NICE AGE TO IT, SO IT IS VALUABLE--
JUST NOT VALUABLE ENOUGH TO BREAK THE BANK.
YEAH, 4,000'S A LITTLE STRONG, BUDDY.
I, AH--I'M MORE IN THE $1,100, $1,200 RANGE.
- OOH...
HOW ABOUT 3,000?
- NO.
- HOW ABOUT 1,500?
- [sighs] THAT KILLS ME, 1,500.
IF YOU SEE THE WORKMANSHIP,
IT WASN'T AN AMATEUR THAT CARVED THIS.
- IF IT WASN'T THIS NICE, I WOULD'VE OFFERED YOU 40 BUCKS.
[both chuckling]
- I UNDERSTAND.
- COME ON. GIVE ME A BETTER NUMBER, BUDDY.
- HOW ABOUT 2,500?
- I CAN'T GO ANY HIGHER THAN 15, MAN.
I REALLY CAN'T.
- [sighs] THAT'S A SHAME.
I REALLY WANTED TO SELL IT,
BUT I CAN'T PART WITH IT FOR THAT PRICE, SORRY.
- ALL RIGHT. WELL, HAVE A GOOD DAY.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH. APPRECIATE YOUR TIME.
- HAVE A GOOD DAY.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU, SIR. ALWAYS A PLEASURE.
- 16?
- 1,650?
- 1,600.
YOU'RE BREAKING ME AT THAT POINT.
- YOU GOT A DEAL.
- ALL RIGHT. DEAL.
I'LL GO WRITE YOU UP. [sighs]
- $1,600 IS A LOT LOWER THAN I REALLY WANTED TO GET,
BUT I'VE BEEN AROUND LONG ENOUGH.
I KNOW HOW TO NEGOTIATE PRETTY WELL.
[cash register dings]
- HEY, BOSS, I GOT A THANK-YOU CARD FOR YOU.
THE OLD MAN GOT ME A SWEET GIFT FOR MY NEW HOUSE,
AND PROPER ETIQUETTE REQUIRES A THANK-YOU NOTE.
- "DEAR OLD MAN,
"THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE KARAOKE MACHINE.
"IT WAS EXTREMELY THOUGHTFUL.
"I'M GOING TO GET YEARS OF ENJOYMENT FROM IT.
CHUMLEE."
THAT'S NICE OF YOU, CHUM. THANK YOU.
- THAT WAS NICE, CHUM. WHERE'S MINE?
- YEAH, THE OLD MAN BOUGHT ME SOMETHING I WANTED
SO... HE GOT A THANK-YOU CARD.
- I GOT YOU SOMETHING NICE.
- YEAH. A CANDY DISH.
IT'S BEEN SITTING OVER THERE ON THE SHELF
FOR, LIKE, THREE YEARS.
IT'S THE BIGGEST RE-GIFT EVER.
- I MEAN, IT WAS A CRYSTAL CANDY DISH, YOU KNOW,
JUST SITTING ON A SHELF FOR A FEW YEARS.
I FIGURED I'LL JUST GIVE IT TO CHUM.
- IT WAS THE CLOSEST THING WITHIN ARM REACH.
- [laughs]