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Felipe - son of Anchurian folk
Frank Goodwin - a real man
Isabell - charming victim of circumstances
best investigator in America
Blythe - despite everything a gentleman
Jessica - poor, yet free girl
Corriero - minister, poet, plotter
Pumba - daughter of Anchurian folk
and others
in the film
KINGS AND CABBAGES After the novel by O'Henry
Well, well, well...the president has been killed. Why?
Oh, Anchuria, land of mysteries, love, flowers... but not to forget:...whisky!
Halt!
First of all, are you a patriot?
First of all I am Blythe, with your permission.
Blythe...but after that...Yes. - Sebastiano Corriero...
Poet. Revolutionary. Minister. In one word - a friend of the people.
Who's that? Another patriot? I am Felipe.
Is that your boat? -This is the boat of the Sea God. And mine too.
I appoint you as Admiral of this coast's fleet.
Then I appoint you as grasshopper.
They are even more important than frogs. - Weirdo! Frogs eat grashoppers.
Get yourself a flag, a uniform and wait for my orders!
Just make sure you don't drown, dummy! - If he's lucky, then he's lucky. To the fleet!
And you, could look out for a certain man... - What are you proposing to a gentleman!?
This is a secret. I'll tell this only to you, but I trust you.
Choke on your whisky!
The president of Anchuria has fled... - May God be with us!
...with a cabaret singer. Why would he?
And he must show up somewhere here. Anchuria - land of love ///- Yes,yes,yes
he fled at night with the cabaret singer,
taking with him a valise stuffed with the crown money.
Money of the people. Money of the Anchurian people!
Wait, wait, wait. If he's missing, who's governing?
Losada is in rule, after Miraflores has fled.
But Alevares was killed by Losada. When he was at Miraflores's house.
Yes, I read about it.
Anyway, who is in rule now? Lo-sa-da!
Losada! Ah, and Miraflores fled...
To hell with them, but the valise! The valise!
The valise! Have you seen one?
Sure. Our doctor has one. - What's going on here?
How did you come here, minister? - Ah, Goodwin.
I was riding like hell, trying to save the money of the people and catching this ***.
Listen, Corriero, they say she's good looking.. The *** of this villain?
I didn't mean the valise. - What has the valise to do with this?
What are you saying! the crown money is in it!
You are offending the poet in me.
Isabel, the cabaret girl, looks damn good. Just imagine, Goodwin,
green eyes....Isabel...let's drink to her!
The previous evening...
Passion ran high.
Forever yours! Forever yours!
- Let's run! - Don't drop the suicase, dear. - Nonsense!
A gentleman doesn't need to see everything in this land of illusions.
Two have just arrived.
A prominent senor and a nice senorita.
They didn't want to eat or drink, just to get into their rooms early.
Number nine and number ten.
I must go up to them. - Why not.
Why couldn't senor Goodwin just meet the lady and the gentleman,
in number nine or number ten?
It is not a custom, damn you, in Anchuria to offend women.
Nor is it our custom to offend women, damn you.
Oh, is that so? Not a custom to offend women?
Is it your custom then to disgrace them? Break into their rooms late at night
wearing boots and a hat. Get out of here!
Well, but the valise you brought... Isn't there something particular inside!?
You are a fool.
Goodwin, listen to me. You don't know them.
Women are such seductive beings and this one especially.
Take an oath right now:
I, Frank Goodwin, will never again look into these green, green, green eyes...
need to flee...we need to flee.
Let's hold our horses.
I don't ask you to change your opinion about me at once,
yet I hope, and this only for your sake, you believe me.
I need to see the valise... You humiliate me as no one else has.
All of this is complete nonsense! We have our personal belongings in the valise.
This is humiliating. But it will be more shameful for you
That is, if you're capable of feeling anything apart from self-love and arrogance.
The valise!
What's this? What does this mean?
Stop him!
What a disgrace! Dear god...
I have told you the truth. Believe me. Yes. But we must hurry.
The whole city will be here soon. Give it here. These dollars lead to unhappiness and happiness.
When will you finally pay me, Mr. Blythe?
Maybe even today.
You have some business to settle with me, Blythe?
You were looking for me? - I did.
Yes, I was expecting you here.
What do you think, Goodwin, will the guy who filched that valise be grilled good?
The valise?
This...well, that...well, is exactly the same as the doctor's. But this is another one.
I think that guy will get what he deserved.
And Isabel? What will happen to her?
To her!
It didn't work out...There was nothing said...
Yes, a gentlemen can't blackmail the man he had drinks with.
Using these we'll catch him! What will you buy when we catch him?
Everything.
What a delight! Ignacio! We are delighted!
The son of the former president, who is in hiding, is being searched.
Anyone pointing out his hideout will get 700 000 reals.
Why just 700 000 and not a whole million?
Because of the Value-added tax on the head of the criminal.
I have my documents.
Is it decent...
to tickle a girl's feet?
You shouldn't have hit me on the head!
I am a poor, yet free girl.
If you, mister, are just passing by then go your way.
But if I am not?
Then...don't.
Oh, Jessica! Oh, Dickie!
Blythe, if you don't quit drinking you'll go blind.
It is possible, doctor. But, you know, I think I've seen virtually everything.
Do you think so?
Oh, this is Dickie!
Dickie...
Perhaps, it is decent to tickle a girl's feet after all?
Double whisky for everybody!
This is life!
Jessica!
Dickie! What are you doing?
I am cutting down a cactus.
What for, Dickie?
I love you, Jessica!
Oh, Jessica!
I am a good, yet poor girl.
Felipe...
Felipe!
What do you see there, Felipe?
-There is the capital of our motherland. I keep an eye on it.
You are a saint, Felipe. You are a real saint.
Why do you keep an eye on it? I am waiting for orders. I am an admiral!
You are a real admiral, Felipe. I will pray for you, if you get killed.
But put in your word then, so that God does something good for me too.
I brought you a uniform.
I am an admiral and I have a uniform.
Girls! Dear God...
Land of love! Girls...
Long live Anchuria!
Hi, Felipe. Haven't you received your order yet?
I will receive an order soon! Soon everybody will receive an order.
You, too.
Frank, I want to tell you... I have loved before.
It was my first love. Isabel, no matter who it was...
It was...a Japanese lantern. Oh, Frank...
Sometimes the wind shaked it, sometimes the rain lashed it.
Hoarse voices of sailors vomiting all over the tavern flew up from the floors below.
But it was my love. My love. Frank...
Isabel...
I, too, want to confess. I was just a boy
when I fell in love. I loved an old shabby horse very much, Isabel.
What are you doing, Goodwin? Don't pay attention, dear. I dreamed,
I wanted her to look at me for just one time.
Did you love a horse? A horse, Isabel.
Don't do it, Frank! I beg you, I will do it myself. - No, Isabel, let me.
Frank! Isabel! Frank! Isabel!
Frank, don't do this! Frank, I'm begging you.
Why? Why did you put cinnamon on them?
You are beautiful, Isabel.
We are criminals, Goodwin.
I have such a bad conscience because you have so much problems because of this money.
But we can't tell the truth, can we?
Yes. Nobody must know about this. I am so shocked, Frank.
I am shocked you risk your reputation. Woman cannot let this go unnoticed.
You are so kind to me and want to make me happy. - I want that very much.
Oh, Frank!
Sometimes I am a soulless doll. We all are like that, Isabel...
until....do you understand me, dear? Until....
Untill... Untill we give in to it? Yes.
Isabel, tell me do you really love Mr. Goodwin?
I warn you: A lady must not trust a gentlemen.
Isabel, you're in love with a criminal!
In the end I will crack your skull, Blythe...
...to give the doctor a chance to open his valise
It is unquiet in capital, dear. But how lovely you look today!
.....hordes of angry Anchurians have surrounded the presidential palace.
The country is tired of this regime and of all regimes altogether.
Don't lose your mind, honey.
I am no criminal. I am the son of the poisoned president Alevares.
My hour has come! We will win, Jessica.
You will be the president's wife.
I won't let you go. No. I won't survive another loss.
A dishonest government is a disaster for the people, Isabel.
They are singing a song!
At first they need freedom, then again - bananas, bananas, bananas.
Freedom...It's impossible to take it away. Don't even try.
I accuse you of betraying the people's interest, striving for absolute power!
I reject all these accusations and call you a traitor.
You poisoned Arevales! - He died the natural death for a president.
Scaling up banana prices for one real, you created another source for your own welfare!
Slander! - Slander?
This one real will be used fot the people's needs.
The people are enraged, yet they are my people.
Demagogue! Your sword!
Mr. President, we have pushed the crowd back.
We're looking for Corriero now! Get Corriero!
Give back the sword, chameleon.
Victory will be ours!
Victory will be ours!
Just in time! I will take my revenge on you, damn Losada!
Let's sail to open sea, friend. Tomorrow I will come back and my return will be historic.
What are your chances in this fight, minister? Don't bother me, Goodwin. Poems about our...
heroic deeds are being born in my head.
The sea is smooth like Isabel's lips.
Which shore is that, admiral? Sail to open sea. That is the shore of our motherland, Anchuria!
You are a traitor! You will get shot!
Dear admiral, I am ashamed that Anchuria still hasn't recognized
you're obedience and your great soul. I promise
you will receive a new ship, a new uniform and a bunch of deckhands.
You will get shot!
I am admiral of Anchuria, but you will be put with your face against the wall!
Idiot! I appointed you.
Nobody else in Anchuria knows that you're an admiral.
This is fleet of Anchuria! I am the admiral of Anchuria!
But you wanted to give away Anchuria ....- Fool! - Traitor!
Here are two thousand reals.
This is more than your government ever will pay you in your lifetime.
Face to the wall! High treason! Fool! Silence!
What have you done? - It seems I have destroyed the navy of Anchuria.
You? A poet?
Yes. Poetry happens to breed blood sometimes.
Look! Those are my people. We will bring them ashore and win.
Fool! Yesterday capsized a Russian ship here with a cargo of cabbages.
Jessica!
Why didn't you tell me before that you were the son of the poisoned president?
Because they killed him.
They will kill you, too!
Jessica...I will kill myself, dear. I won't live without you.
I don't want to be the wife of a poisoned president's son.
I might be a poor girl, yet no one will take away my love for you.
Only death. Only...come here...
Jessica, you can be the wife of the president's son. Believe me! Look in my eyes!
No... Look in my eyes, Jessica!
I am looking...
Jessica, I love you!
Jessica, I will pass a law protecting women and snakes!
Jessica, I love you!
...it's better to die from love than to croak in war...
...it's better to croak from love than die in war...
Yeah...it looks like we'll have to spend money on supporting the people's favourite.
Then Losada won't stand a chance.
and we can get his stupid tax on exporting bananas revoked.
The company is in debt to your wise mind, mister chairman.
I know life.
Economics smell of politics. And politics smell...
Dear people of Anchuria: I will free this land of injustice!
...I want to remind you, Goodwin....
....of the inalienable rights of the people.
To what, Blythe? To freedom? -To the valise!
My heart breaks when I think about Miss Isabel, but... - But you want to have a drink even more?
Yes, yes, yes, I am thirsty, but...
In an hour you will receive three hundred dollars and a ticket to New York.
Here this thirst will kill you. I don't want to drink on your funeral.
I wouldn't mind. You will return the money to the people, Goodwin.
Five hundred. Just so that your feet won't walk here anymore.
Five hundred and thirty. I owe thirty to tavern. - It's a deal.
You won't be sending assassins after me, Goodwin?
As it is customary in civilized world?
Farewell, land of songs, flowers, love and politics!
Sir! It is Anchuria out there! I am the best detective in America.
I am the former best detective in America.
But now...
....I'm a stoker.
By the way, I saw you during that damned night.
Me? You must be mistaken.
I am not. I mixed up all that I could already then.
In those stupid cactus groves in your stupid Anchuria I mixed up two couples:
A banker who fled from New York with his daughter,
and the fleeing president of Anchuria with a cabaret singer.
Their features - a beard, a valise and green eyes - were the same.
The ones I caught, tried to flee to America.
And I, idiot, brought them there at the expenses of the New York police.
But the valise? Did they have a valise filled with dollars?
What has the valise to do with this?
They received apologies as citizens of another country
but I was sacked in order to prevent an international scandal.
I, you see, had kidnapped a president! But a valise? Money?
The money was found. Some guy named Goodwin
telegraphed to New York police all money this banker had stolen.
And the daughter? He didn't telegraph the daughter.
May your damn Anchuria get damn lost.
Damn cactuses and innumerable bananas and all those fools!
Yes! My Lord...yes!
Wait!
What was the name of the daughter of the banker who shot himself?
He shot himself? Mad...mad world.
She was called Florence. So it means Isabel is not Isabel...
We can't tell the truth, can we? Yes. But nobody must know about this.
He saved her honour.
Such a heart!
Dear God!
Such a noble heart!
A gentleman must apologise to a gentleman.
I don't want to become the game of spiny lobster.
Think of me, I beg you, my destiny, save me, cabbage.
And we will be together again: Anchuria and me.
Kings and Cabbages
Screen writer Wladimir Golovanov
Direction Mariya Muat
Artdirection Kseniya Prytkova, Konstantin Romanenko
Camera Andrej Putsjnin music Igor Nazaruk
animators Tatiana Molodova, Konstantin Romanenko, Alla Solovjova,
Voice actors Vladimir Masjkov, Lev Durov Larissa Udovitsjenko, Irina Muravyeva Vsevolod Abdulov
Viktor Pavlov, Mikhail Kononov, Yulia Putberg, Alexander Pozharov Igor Pismennyij
Intermezzi: Barrels, I was waiting, Tango, Memoirs Direction Natalja Orlova, art Pjotr Kotov Camera Sergei Chlebnikov
Animators K Romanenko, A Solovyeva S Glagolev, I Verbitskiy, Yu Timokhova ***. camera D Zhykov, Light D Kozyrenko
Sound Wladimir Tarassov, Cutter Lyudmila Koptyeva
Music recording V Bengerovskij, studio Mosfilm
puppets & decor Igor Khilov, V Sjafranyuk, L Doronina M Koltunov, N Barkovskaya, G Bogatsjev E Pokrovskaya, N Lyurskaya, N Grinberg, E Leonova
***. L Yaskevitsj, B Orjol, Yu Tsjernov
Production Alexander Sokolov ex. prod Alina Vlasova
The End 1996 Subs reworked by Eus