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BUS RIDE
A woman got on a bus holding a baby
The busdriver said:
That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen
In a huff
the woman slammed her fare into the fare box
and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated
and asked her what was wrong
"The bus driver insulted me, " she fumed
The man sympathized and said
Why, he's a public servant
and shouldn't say things to insult passengers
"You're right, " she said
I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind
That's a good idea, " said the man
Here, let me hold your monkey
GOOD NEWS
The doctor took his patient into the room and said
I have some good news and some bad news
The patient said: Give me the good news!
They're going to name a disease after you.
HOW DID YOU MAKE YOUR MONEY?
A young man asked an older rich man how he make his money
The old guy fingered his sweater and said
Well, son, it was 1934 and in the depth of the Great Depression
I was down to my last dime
I invested that dime in an apple
I spent the entire day polishing the apple and
at the end of the day, I sold the apple for fifteen cents.
The next morning, I invested those fifteen cents in two apples
I spent the entire day polishing them and
sold them for 30 cents
I continued this system for a month
by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.59
"And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked
"Heavens, no!" the man replied
Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars