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"Hey boy you wanna go cow tippin!" "No sir that is physically impossible
and your breath smells bad" "whaaaaat?!?!?"
So! It turns out cow tipping is FAKE!
Yeah sure maybe a few cows have been tipped over time but our friends over
at Modern Farmer took a look at the cold hard facts and found 2 solid
arguments.
Number One! There's no actual video proof on the Internet!
These days on the Internet you can look up anything from aliens
to cute cuddly kitty cats even a young man freaking out to roller skating babies in his
whitie tighties
Through out the cornucopia of clips I've yet to find one LEGIT COW
TIP.... SO ARE COW TIPS LEGIT? NO!
So before you try and go out and tip a cow to prove me wrong, beware its physically impossible!
The guys over at modern farmer interviewed a man named Nate Wilson who grew up around
cows his whole life and even now at the age of 66 still thinks its BS. He says cows don't
even sleep standing up and they're pretty much scared shitless! That's why
when cows hang out together they're always facing opposite directions so they can always
keep a look out for danger!
Hey Mark how's it goin over there? Pretty good Ned, how ya been? I'm pretty good. I miss your face! I miss your face too man!
The University of British Columbia did a study in 2005 basically stating that there's no way that one
drunk bro could tip over a cow. Now maaaaybe 2 drunk bros after winning a game of
beer pong but still it's not gonna be easy.
LETS GET PHYSICAL! R=You guys remember newton's second law?? Force equals mass times acceleration.
Which means your gonna need a LOT of force to move ALL THAT MASS I mean come on people
that's like a 1000 hamburgers..... actually one cow can make up to 1500 -- 2500 hamburgers
BUT that's besides the point. "I'm sorry vegetarians...I love you"
Now if a single 145 pound person can generate up to 660 newtons of force then maybe 2 people have
enough power but as soon as that cow braces its self, and believe me it will, those 2 dudes
are gonna need a whole lot more back up.
Okay so lets be real here folks cow tipping has been around for a long time, we've heard
it being talked about in movies and cartoons heck even my friends would tell me about it
when I was a kid. BUT my friends also told me that if I turned off the lights and
said bloody Mary 3 times into the mirror that I would get murdered. Either way the legend of cow
tipping lives on.
So know you know cow tipping is pretty much BS, go out and tell the world! Cause you know what's happening folks?
Drunk dudes are going out there into the farms and they're like oh dude let'*** that cow!
And they're running into the cows with their shoulders and it's hurting the cows!
This has been a public service announcement from Alex Farnham and Animalist News. I'll see you harry mammals tomorrow. Save the cows!