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MALE SPEAKER: We're about to have a damn good time--
Or a damn bad time, depending on how it goes.
Because Andy Milonakis wrote a song specifically for tonight.
And I think he did it maybe like two or three days ago, so
I'm really hoping he forgets his lyrics.
Are you drunk yet?
Are you ready for Andy?
All right, ladies and gentlemen, give
it up for Andy Milonakis.
ANDY MILONAKIS [RAPPING]: Oh ***, yo, I won 50 Gs.
Now it's time to get a cute chick on her knees.
And I don't got to pay her, because I'm a player.
Andy Milonakis, the Vegas mayor.
Don't want to see Love or Carrot Top, I just want to see
those bottles pop.
Of Dom Perignon, but that's so cliche.
I can finally afford that Dom Rose.
I got the nuts, time to poke a ho.
Then I hit the tables, I'm a poker pro.
I'm a card shark, but you can't see my fin.
That's why I love this city of sin.
That's why I love this sin, sin city.
Two more days, and I win this city.
Up around a K, and it feels real funny.
Now blow on the dice, my little Playboy bunnies.
Hold the 4-4, and the girls went nuts.
Got a hard 8, so I put it in their butts.
It was pretty tight, it didn't fit like a glove.
I love Vegas, Vegas I love.
Love Vegas, love, love, Vegas.
Love Vegas, love, love, love Vegas.
I love Vegas, love, love, love Vegas.
I love Vegas.
Love Vegas.
Love Vegas, love, love Vegas.
Love Vegas, love, love, love Vegas.
I love Vegas, love, love, love Vegas.
Love Vegas, love Vegas.
MALE SPEAKER: I love this.
I'll put this *** on my website, too.
ANDY MILONAKIS [RAPPING]: I met a girl named Natalie who
wore a mink coat, and I hear she could fit the stratosphere
down her throat.
She was working girl, and she was on the clock.
For one black chip, she'll suck my white ***.
She was a super ho, she even had a cape.
But when I said no, the *** screamed ***.
So I ran and ran, as fast as I can.
Look at me, I'm a *** man.
But if I was innocent, why did I run?
And where the *** did I get this gun?
Oh no, the super ho set me up twice.
Now I'm running around Vegas like the three blind mice.
I had to ditch the Glock, so I threw it in the trash.
I'm gonna look suspicious with all this cash.
Then I hear the sirens, it was Murphy's Law.
***, I wonder what they saw.
They found the gun, then they found my money.
I started to laugh, but it wasn't funny.
They uncuffed me and let me go another dirty cop car filled
with dough.
You're on top of the world when you have a little luck.
But in the blink of an eye, you'll be screaming ***!
*** Vegas, ***, *** Vegas.
*** Vegas, *** Vegas, *** Vegas.
***, ***, ***, ***, ***, *** Vegas.
*** Vegas, but I love Vegas!
*** Vegas, ***, *** Vegas.
*** Vegas, *** Vegas, *** Vegas.
***, ***, ***, ***, ***, *** Vegas.
*** Vegas, but I love Vegas!
***!