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A lot of people spoke at the conference.
And then I got to give a speech too,
which included my views on God.
And the Associated Press covered it.
And the wire story was picked up by my hometown paper.
Spokane, where I had recently hosted
the Catholic Charities luncheon,
where I had spoken repeatedly at my Catholic high school,
and where my parents took such pride in their Catholicism
and in their children and, who I believe now in retrospect,
felt that my Catholicism was what connected me to my hometown,
to my social class, and to them in spite of having moved so far away.
So one day, weeks and weeks after this speech,
and without me even being aware that
this article even existed out there,
my parents got up and went out to get their morning paper.
And there I was on the back of the front section,
this big picture of me, the bold letters,
in a huge type it said, "Sweeney Loses Her Religion."
And the first two sentences of the article were:
Julia Sweeney has come out of the closet. Period.
As an atheist. Period.
It was the local angle and they led with it.
And then the article went on and
talked about the conference in general
and barely even mentioned me again.
The first call I got from my mother was really more of a scream.
"Atheist? ATHEIST?!?!"
My father got on the phone and said,
"You have betrayed your family, your school and your city." It was like I had...
It was like I'd sold secrets to the Russians.
They both said they were not going to speak to me anymore.
My dad said, "I don't even think you should come to my funeral."
After I hung up, I thought, "Just try and stop me."
I think my parents had been mildly disappointed
when I told them I didn't believe in God anymore,
but being an atheist was another thing altogether.
Frankly, I hadn't even described myself as an atheist,
although, I suppose I am one.
I don't live my life under the assumption that there is a God,
so I suppose that makes me an atheist.
A-theist. Non-theist.
But I like the word "naturalist" more.
To me, atheist defines me on religious terms.
I mean, I believe in a wholly natural universe,
and that makes religious people, in my mind, a-naturalists.
Anyway, several weeks went by, and there was no contact at all from my parents.
Now, this was a huge deal;
I usually spoke to my parents on the phone several times a week.
Then, one day, out of the blue, I got this phone call
from my mother on her cell phone and she said,
"Julie, I just got out of the foot doctor and he told me that ... ow"
There was a pause.
She'd forgotten she wasn't speaking to me anymore.
That began a series of sporadic phone calls that
I would get from my mother sometimes
in the wee early hours of the morning.
Once at like, 5:30 in the morning my phone rang.
And I picked it up and my mother said,
"Why can't you just say you're still searching?"
I said, "Well, I am searching.
If what you mean by searching is
a continual yearning to understand better.
But when it comes to God, at some point,
don't you just have to make a decision for yourself
one way or the other? I mean, the way you look at the world
if you believe in God is so different than
the way you look at the world if you don't."
And she said, "Well then why do you have to tell people about it?
Everyone knows that there are those few people out there
who don't believe in God, but they keep it quietly to themselves!
Last night, your father said
he even wished you'd announced you were gay.
At least that's socially acceptable!"