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>>AND I WANT A BICYCLE AND I ASK YOU EVERY YEAR,
BUT YOU STILL HAVEN’T GOTTEN ME MY DRAGON! [BELLY LAUGHTER] >>WELL WE’LL PUT THAT
ON THE LIST THIS YEAR. >>THANK GOODNESS.
AND-- >>OKAY, TIME TO GO. >>WHAT?
NO, I STILL WANT MORE PRESENTS! LIKE A NERF GUN OR THAT DRAGON!
DON’T FORGET! >>MERRY CHRISTMAS.
>>MERRY CHRISTMAS! >>OH MAN!
THE KIDS GET WEIRDER EVERY YEAR. >>AND TALLER.
OKAY, WHO’S NEXT? >>IT’S ME!
IT’S MY TURN. I’M NEXT!
IT’S ME. >>GOODNESS HI.
>>ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
>>I’VE BEEN HOLDING THESE SKITTLES IN MY HANDS SINCE I
WOKE UP AT FIVE THIS MORNING. >>OKAY, NO.
KYLE! KYLE!
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO LICK
YOUR HANDS IN PUBLIC? >>TASTE THE RAINBOW!
>>OKAY. OKAY, WHAT’S YOUR NAME LITTLE GUY?
>>THIS IS MY HYPERACTIVE SON KYLE. >>OH!
KYLE, DON’T EAT THAT! >>OH, IT’S OKAY.
HE ONCE ATE HIS FORK AT DINNER. PRONGS FIRST, JUST BREAK DOWN.
>>THE SNOW TASTES LIKE SALT AND HAMSTERS. >>OKAY.
LET’S GO AHEAD AND MEET MR. SANTA. >>SANTA!
OH, IS IT REALLY YOU THIS TIME? WHERE ARE YOUR REINDEER?
ARE THEY OVER HERE? I DON’T SEE ANY DEER SCAT.
I BET THEY’RE BACK AT THE NORTH POLE HUH? IS THIS YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE?
OH! >>NO!
KYLE! KYLE!
KYLE! KYLE, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU
NOT TO DIVE INTO THE SHRUBBERY?
>>UH, YOUR PRESENTS ARE EMPTY. IS YOUR BEARD REAL?
>>NO, OW! OH!
>>KYLE, KYLE. DON’T PULL ON THE NICE MAN’S BEARD!
I’M SURE IT’S GLUED ON VERY TIGHTLY! >>NO, IT’S REAL!
>>OH THIS IS A CLASSY MALL. >>IS THIS YOUR THRONE?
CAN I CLIMB IT? YOU WANT TO SEE ME DO A BACK FLIP?
>>KYLE, I’M SURE HE’S SEEN YOU DO A FLIP BEFORE.
REMEMBER HE’S SANTA. HE SEES EVERYTHING.
>>THAT’S RIGHT. >>SO YOU SAW ME WIPE A BOOGEY ON YOUR BOOT?
>>WHAT THE WHAT? >>OH NEATO!
>>NO, OKAY. KYLE, DON’T LICK THAT!
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW MANY MALL SANTAS HAVE TOUCHED THAT.
KYLE, KYLE! KYLE, DON’T MAKE MOMMY GET THE SPRAY BOTTLE.
>>NOT THE SPRAY BOTTLE. >>NOW KYLE, WHY DON’T YOU TELL SANTA WHAT
YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS? >>PROBABLY AN XBOX RIGHT?
>>NO, I ALREADY HAVE TWO. HEY, HOW DO YOU GET AROUND TO EVERY HOUSE
IN THE WORLD IN ONE NIGHT?
>>KYLE-- >>IF I WANTED COAL FOR CHRISTMAS WOULD I HAVE TO BE BAD?
IF I WERE BAD AND I STILL WANTED COAL WOULD YOU GIVE IT TO ME?
BECAUSE THEN YOU’D BE REWARDING ME FOR BAD BEHAVIOR AND THAT
WOULD THROW OFF THE WHOLE NAUGHTY AND NICE LIST THING.
>>IT’S TRUE. >>KYLE, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU
NOT TO ASK PARADOXICAL QUESTIONS?
>>I ASK PARADOXICAL QUESTIONS. >>YES YOU DO.
>>OKAY, NO KYLE! KYLE!
STOP PULLING ON HIS BEARD! KYLE, LOOK OVER HERE!
LOOK AT MOMMY. COME ON.
COME ON. FOCUS.
FOCUS. CONCENTRATE.
>>OW! NO MORE!
>>OKAY, KYLE. COME ON.
WHY DON’T WE GO HOME AND YOU CAN RUN ON YOUR TREADMILL?
>>NO, BUT I STILL HAVEN’T TOLD SANTA WHAT I WANTED.
>>WELL TELL HIM QUICKLY RIGHT NOW. >>I WANT SOME DRY SHORTS.
BYE SANTA! LOOK WHAT I FOUND MOM!
>>HEY THAT’S MINE! >>THAT’S NICE.
>>YOU CAN KEEP THAT. MERRY CHRISTMAS.
>>COOL. NOW I HAVE TWO IPHONES.