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Dr. Sanjay: It's 99 cents Trevor: uh, ok
Trevor: uh Dr. Sanjay: Nice, looks real.
Trevor: It is real Dr. Sanjay: thank you
Trevor: oh no that's fine, please, Trevor: just keep it.
Dr. Sanjay: no no, I insist it's an ethical thing, just keep it
Trevor: thanks Dr. Sanjay: sure
Trevor: ahem, Dr. Sanjay: your welcome
Trevor: so, uh, is this your office? Dr. Sanjay: yes, yes it is. I find nature
to be very therapeutic. It's economical, and you know there's also a water fountain right
there. Trevor: oh
Dr. Sanjay: It's all, kinda everything together, it's kinda like killing multiple birds with
one gunshot to the face. It's nice. yes, birds, you know, boom.
But anyways, um Trevor, tell me what's wrong with you?
Trevor: I guess I wouldn't say anything is wrong with me, per se. um, I've just been
feeling pretty down, uh, I just moved to the city, uh pretty broke, and I just went through
a pretty bad breakup with my girlfriend, so...I guess that's not really helping the situation.
Dr. Sanjay: Let me hold your right there. Breaking up of any kind is very difficult,
it doesn't matter who you break up with...whether a man, a woman...or even a pony. It's a tender
time, a very very difficult time. This is a time where you need to look deep within
yourself and find out what Trevor really needs. Like right there, like yeah, right there.
You workout? Trevor: Um, uh, occasionally.
Dr. Sanjay: How often? like a couple of times a week?
Trevor: yeah um. I guess when I have time, uh, sometimes you know the weeks tend to run
together a little bit. Dr. Sanjay: No worries cause I'm also a personal
trainer. Trevor: oh
Dr. Sanjay: Same rate Trevor: ok
Dr Sanjay: 99 cents, I'm pretty good, I mean look at my body, its...
Trevor: right Dr. Sanjay: Anyways, its just...throwing it
out there, you know...just think about it. Trevor: Thank you.
Dr. Sanjay: But, uh getting back to... Oh, Hey thanks man! These people are so generous
over here...just they're really nice. Getting back to uh, talking about your needs
as an emotionally complex human being...have you had rebound sex yet?
Trevor: What? Dr. Sanjay: I mean it could be a ***,
it you know could be uh a ***, you know...whatever you're comfortable with anally.
Trevor: No, No uh...I, I guess I just don't want to jump into a new relationship right
away. Dr. Sanjay: I see, I can see that. But, hey
what about hookers? Trevor: uh, are you serious?
Dr. Sanjay: Of course. Hookers, thats one of the best gifts you can give to yourself
during this tender time. The warm gentle touch of a woman hugging you, holding you, gently
tickling your balls...yeah. Trevor: I should probably go.
Dr. Sanjay: No! no, no, please stay, there's no reason to panic, this is a safe place.
I understand it's a difficult time. But let's finish what you started...right here...it
will be a good thing. And I totally respect that you don't want to be touched by a filthy
***. They're dirty, carry a lot of baggage around with them...like literally like big
huge chunks of baggage, luggage you know? who has space for that? Terrible fashion choice
also...you know, it's just people are different, I get it. I get it... you know... there's
a great saying, Different folks likes to be stroked in different ways.
Trevor: I don't think that's a saying. Dr. Sanjay: No, it really is...you know it's
a wonderful saying. But here's the good thing...I'm not going to be touching you, even though
that's the best medicine for you. Trevor: Right
Dr. Sanjay: Instead, I will touch you with this rubber hand. Don't be put off by it,
it's a neo modality. It's really cutting edge technique. I have the manual, the whole thing,
I'm even certified actually to use this...um...the manual's in Japanese, uh but I know just enough
Japanese and just looking at the diagrams, I think I you know, I sort of figured it out...so...so
just don't panic, just relax, and enjoy the gentle touch, and let all of your stress melt
away with each stroke. Trevor: Are you really a therapist?
Dr. Sanjay: Yes, I'm a Discount Therapist. Dr. Sanjay: I will now gently poke you...and also slap you (smack, smack)...just have faith, it will all go away... Trevor: I, I think I'm going to go...away Dr. Sanjay: But call me about that training session too