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Beat him, fix him!
- Hey! - What?
- Sit down and shut up! - Am I that noisy?
Hit him! Hit him!
Fantastic! Haha!
Watch it! You're pushing me!
- You think you can bully me? - YEAH, SO???
I'm not scared!
BEAT HIM!
I'm experienced in fighting, am I that bad?
Look at you, of course you're bad.
Bad? I'm only helping you to carry the stretcher, idiot.
Where did he go?
He's there, I'm going to get an ambulance.
Stay there, unless you want to get beat up again.
You think I'm a coward?
"Hong Kong" "New Fist of Fury"
Please everyone, no pictures!
[Woman] Sorry, please take them later.
[Woman] Terribly sorry! Please wait!
- Please, just take my picture! - Sorry I can't! I don't have enough film!
I'm gonna hit you. Are you taking it?
- No no no, please, no way! - Just one picture? OK? Thanks!
Who are you?
- I see you have a nice figure... - What's your surname?
- ... I want to make... - What do you want to make with me?
I'll beat you! Get lost!
- Hey, don't go! - Are you nuts?
What are you two doing?!
I don't know this fella!
No no, I just want to....er...make...
Oh I get it! He did the same thing with me before.
What?!
It's not a big deal...
- She's gone... - Poke your lungs! Mandy!
- This is all your fault! - You guys still talking? Get him off me!
You can't even handle him, why don't you give him a hand? Let me give you a hand!
Why did you touch my ***?
Ngou Pi, You want to die? Why did you fight again?
Aunt?
Aunt? Don't tell me she went to Kowloon?
So she didn't cook dinner tonight?
Her last will!
No way!
Aunt! Don't be too hasty!
Aunt, open up!
- You ***, leave me alone! - Aunt, don't die!
Just let me die!
Aunt, open the door, please!
Let me die, ***! You don't wanna get married!
I've let your dead father down!
Aunt, open the door first!
Aunt!
Are you hanging yourself or are you eating biscuits?
Aunt! Open up!
Get the key! Get the key!
Where's the key?
In the drawer!
Drawer? How can I get in there?
Break the door down, ***! Break it down!
Break it? OK!
Aunt...
- Break the rope, quickly! - OK!
Still doesn't break? Try again!
Aunt, why did you commit suicide?
You ***!
I asked you to break the rope, not my neck!
Master!
"New Fist of Fury"? Hmpft!
Brother, rest easy, I will take revenge for you!
Be careful of his super right arm...
Chu Chu, forget it. Stop staring. You're not getting a prize for it.
Dad, why is Brother Ching so happy? He can't stop laughing.
Ching, Don't scare us. Are you all right?
I'm fine, I'm fine!
Even though we lost all $10 million of your prize money, we're still ok. - Yeah!
Don't be stupid! Why would I be angry?
Ching, don't force yourself to laugh.
Hidden in your laughter are anger, desperation and misery.
Yeah, if you won't beat us, then at least scold us, ok?
Since this has happened, we have all decided.
We are still strong, we'll take care of you for the rest of your life!
- You don't ever have to worry! - Agree!
Look at them, ***! They lost all their friend's money, and he didn't even say anything!
I didn't lose money by gambling, I just invested it into Hung Yuen Financial!
We can at least get 7 percent interest each month!
I think he's only pretending to be generous!
You know I have always been generous.
Enough talking, have some food.
Money is nothing at all, do I talk about it?
We always talk about honesty, right?
Come, have some food. Come on!
This is really delicious, come on.
Thirsty? Have a Coke.
Full? Have a cigarette.
Hey guys!
Uncle Bill, even though you lost all my money, I don't feel any pain.
You can't be feeling pain as well, can you?
No...no pain!
Really no pain? You're already bleeding!
It's only bleeding a little...
compared to the wound on your thigh!
When did that happen?
-Right in front of you. - Really?
- Doesn't hurt, right? - YES IT DOES!
***! Run for your life!
Get out of here!
- Brother Smart! - What happened?
Why must you hold her so tight?
Don't try to fake it. I did not stab you.
Just fooling around! Sorry!
Ching, they are your masters after all. How can you just stab them?
Don't make me stab you!
They lost millions of my money! I gave them face by only stabbing once!
In that case, you should shoot them!
No! It'll be ***, don't fire!
- Run for your life! - What? Stand still!
Ngou Pi, if you don't get married and have offspring
I'll hang myself in front of you now!
Your cousin has sent me a letter. What are you thinking about?
I remember when I was 11, Cousin and I were being bullied outside the village.
A masked person, claiming to be from our family, saved us by beating up the bullies.
Oh, you still remember?
Of course!
Right, talking about your cousin, Yun Kwan. She coming back from Denmark soon.
- Really? - Yep!
- Aunt, I need to talk to you. - What?
- I want to go Kowloon to find a master. - One more left, finish it.
Then I can strengthen the fame of our Ngou family.
We, the Ngou family, have always been a righteous clan.
You must not learn lousy kung fu from any Tom, *** or Harry!
I know, we Ngou family used to be mighty, but our kung fu skills are now lost.
I'm really looking for a righteous clan.
- Which clan? - "New Fist of Fury"!
Yes, I understand.
Boss Chan, you know I'm an honest guy.
So why would I not pay you the renovation money?
But the prize money that I had won was really lost by those 4 old guys.
If I knew where the money was, I would have taken it back
instead of talking to you now.
I can't help it if you want to sue me.
I really hope you can keep calm.
Go wash your face first, drink some hot tea, and slowly hear me out.
Hello? Hello?
Hello?
Smart! Manage to borrow any money?
Of course not! Her father even wants to chop me!
You can't be serious? He's not forced to lend you the money. Why must he chop you?
You think he's doing it for fun?
Chu Chu told her father that she's having my baby.
Perfect! Just promised her father that you'll marry her.
Then you can get the money, and then poison the 2 of them afterwards.
Must I be so cruel for money?
OF COURSE!
We're falling on desperate times.
Marry her is one way of solving the problem.
Plus the flat that we're staying at, belongs to her foster mom, anyway.
No way! You are involved in this too!
I've already told her father that you have also slept with her.
What...How can you say such a thing?
OK, what about the incident in the changing room? Mandy is still mad at me!
Do you hear me?!
I've been explaining to her since then.
She only half-believes that I'm not gay, and now you lie about me again?!
Someone without a conscience wants to talk to you.
I don't care! Solve the money problem!
- You! - Yes it's me, Master Lau!
Why are you here? You want to play with my *** again?
Not so easy this time! Get lost now! Scram!
- [Woman] Go and see if he's up there. - Come in!
- Are you kicking me out or inviting me in? - Squat down!
Make up your mind!
I...I also feel confused! I both love and hate you,
I understand if you hate me...
- but I don't know why you would love me. - Shhh! Softer.
Why are you looking for me?
I want you to be your disciple.
Can be done. Do you have money?
- Erm, why are you so...? - Practical? You're mistaken.
I remember when I became my master's disciple, I too had to give him a red packet.
So this is not about practicality, it's a custom.
So how much is the custom?
- $30 thousand. - Wow? Japanese Yen?
$30 thousand is just the down payment!
So, Mr-What's-Your-Name, help me tell the landlady that I'm out.
Then we can talk about a discount in fee.
Strange, why are all kung fu experts so poor?
You want me to play with your *** again?
Wow, you don't need to cry if you can't collect the rent, Landlady.
I'm not the landlady. I'm Chu Chu. Help me with my bags.
- Chu Chu. - Brother Ching.
Why are you crying?
Why did you bring so many luggage?
I've decided to run away from home!
I want to elope with Brother Smart!
Elope? Have you talked to Smart about it?
There's no need to talk about it
As long as I am willing.
No way! Your father will kill me if he finds out.
Must be your father calling. You must explain it to him.
I've already poured my heart out. There is nothing else to say.
- I won't pick up! - You must pick up!
Tell him you came here to do your laundry.
- What kind of excuse is that? - I know it's poor.
Since you like to talk, why don't YOU talk to her father?
But I have nothing to do with this! Er, Excuse me, Uncle!
Yes, we're friends.
Boy friend? Yeah, boy friend.
- You're using interesting words. - Where is this going?
- It's a girl called Mandy. - What?!
Hello, Mandy? It's Ching!
That's my...male friend.
Regular male friend, not the kind of male friend you are thinking of.
Definitely not that gay dude that you saw at the competition the last time.
*** off! .... Hello? There's no gay dudes here.
Any gay dudes here? Nope!
No, I'm telling you the truth, actually... Listen to me...
You framed me again.... Hello, Mandy? Listen to me...
Actually, I've been missing you.
Listen closely, I want to marry you!
Uncle?! It's you? How are you?
Will you marry me? Oops, no, no.
What? Chu Chu? I have not seen her!
She eloped? How is that my problem? Hahaha!
Uncle, you sure know how to joke! Hello...? Hello?
He hung up. I wonder if he will kill himself?
Of course not. He'll wanna chop you up first.
Dad!
I'm not here! I'm not here!
You ***! You go deal with him!
Me again?
Uncle, you like wearing dresses?
You have bad breath, who are you?
You can smell it? You don't have bad breath? Who are you looking for?
I'm the landlady here!
So what if you are? I'm Big Ngou. Do you believe that I will beat you up?
*** me if you have the guts!
What are you looking for?
- What exactly are you looking for? - I'm looking for the rent!
- Foster Mom! - Chu Chu, what are you doing here?
- I'm taking a bath. - Yup, she's taking a bath here.
How disgraceful! How can a girl take a bath at a stranger's place?
Don't hinder us, we're supposed to take a bath together.
What did you say?! Don't talk nonsense! Foster Mom, that's not true!
You're getting from bad to worse! How dare you take a bath with this weirdo?
-Me? - I'm going to tell your father now!
- Foster Mom! Fos... - Get up and chase her! Get up!
Go to hell! You pervert!
Foster Mom, she won't get up to chase you?
Did anything happen to Master Lau?
- Master! - What are you doing? Go away!
Wah, are you trying to scare me?
- What were you looking for just now? - I just wanted to see if you were there...
I dare not open the door anymore!
Nobody asked you to. Just let them knock. Who's says we're home?
Will he kick the door open?
Your mouth is so unlucky!
You guys still arguing? Better get out now!
If the three of us are seen together here, it'll be hard to explain!
I'm...pretending to take a bath!
- Where is he? - Uncle!
I'll chop him to death!
If I'm in here with you, that means...oh!
- Where is he?! - Stay calm, put the chopper down first!
- Actually, this is not my fault. - Not your fault?
I saw Chu Chu taking her luggauge here! It's still not your fault?
She didn't come here. Uncle, you're kidding. Chu Chu is not my type!
She's not good enough for you? Are you going back on your word?
But I'm not good enough for her!
Why must you force me when I am not good enough?
Don't you think so?
If I find that slutty daughter of mine here, I will force you with her!
Even if you are unwilling!
Listen to me, Uncle! There's no one in the toilet!
Don't think I won't find you here, you ***!
I'm just taking a bath, must you chop me?
I'm dead, I'm dead!
Actually...
No need to explain. I'm a very open-minded guy
But I just can't believe how a handsome guy like you
Can enjoy playing with guy's ***.
- Play with your ***? - I meant *** sex!
You mean you like *** sex?
Stop pretending!
There's a man hiding in the bathtub.
And you still deny that you prefer ***?
- You saw a guy in the bathtub? - Yes!
OK, I have a secret to tell, but you can't let others know.
Actually....I'm gay.
You finally admit it?
Ching!
Hi!
I didn't not believe what others say
But now I've no choice but to believe it!
You misheard it, Uncle Chu missaw it!
It's all a misunderstanding!
There could never be a third guy in this flat!
So I missaw and she misheard?
And you are not mistaken?
Fine, I'll prove it now!
If that person inside isn't a man, I will jump down and kill myself!
***!
Stay here!
Get out of the tub now!
- Mandy, listen to me... - No!
So, tell me, does this look like a woman to you?
Uncle, that's IS a woman.
Why are you here, you stupid daughter?
Why don't you put the chair by the window?
Dad, I'm not tired. You're so kind!
Not for you to sit! I'm gonna jump down for them to see!
I need air!
It's him!
It's me!
- You... - Hold it!
Almighty God, stop messing with me. I've had enough.
I beg you, please help me unwind this entanglement!
Brother Smart!
Wow, you're all here?
Smart! You've come at the right time!
Please explain to them that all this has nothing to do with me.
Of course it has! It's not my business! You enjoy casual sex!
You're so irresponsible!
- Brother Smart! - Chu Chu!
Well said! Smart, you ***!
Sorry, I've nothing else to say!
- I never want to see you ever again! - As you wish.
Hi! Ok, I know.
Satisfied?
Satisfied?!
Happy now? Please!
If you want to say anything, now's the time.
Actually, I'm not much taller than you.
Watch it!
Leave me alone. I'm fine.
It's only a girl. There are plenty of other girls around.
- Of course, must you tell me? - You're right.
But girls like her are hard to find. Oh God!
You're useless.
After so many years, you still haven't reached your potential.
Now that Mandy is gone, you won't have a chance to show your real power.
You can't blame him. Look at him, head bowed, crying quietly.
He can't say anything, anyway. Right?
If I can't blame him, then I should blame you!
Your mouth is a jinx! Bad things happen when you speak!
Am I that accurate?
If I say that I'll get beaten up, will that really happen?
Told you so!
You dead yet?
Grab his right hand!
Ching, tonight is the one-week annversary of my brother's death.
- What do you want? - Kill you in memory of him!
But I won't let you die so easily.
Just like my brother, I will break you limb by limb, slowly!
- Who are you? - Ngou family descendant!
- *** of Ngou family? - I don't fight women.
This is none of your business! Get lost!
We Ngou family hate fighting with guys who fear women. Get lost!
***!
Trying to kill me?
I don't believe you won't get hurt!
I need to make a move.
Let's see how long you can protect him. Let's Go!
Senior! What's your name?
Ngou Chat!
Ngou Chat?
Yun Kwan, not sleeping?
Waiting for cousin!
You've already waited a decade. What's one more night?
By the way, do you know when he will return?
- Aunt! - He's back!
Cousin!
Brother! We will have a daughter-in-law soon!
- How are you? - I'm fine. I just want some water.
Cousin!
Cousin!
It's you?
I've waited a long time for you!
Please don't leave me! Don't ever leave me!
I won't. I won't.
Cousin! You're fainting! Cousin!
Ngou Pi... Who's this? Why are you hugging him?
Isn't this Cousin? He's so excited that he fainted.
Cousin, my ***! Stop hugging a stranger. Let go!
You sure know who to pretend. Who are you?
Why are you in my house?
Then where is my cousin?
I'm here, Cousin!
Aunt, it's a ghost!
Me?
Aunt, how is he? Can he be cured?
His arm is troublesome. His wounds are serious.
I'll do my best to find a cure tomorrow. I still need to sweep the floor.
Does that mean he can't fight anymore?
I haven't tried this in a long time.
Wake up! Time for work!
Senior!
May I ask your glorious name?
Don't get up yet! Lie back down! You want to die? Damn!
I'm Ngou Pi's aunt. Don't catch a cold.
Your kung fu is incredible. Can you teach me?
I know kung fu? You must be joking!
I was just using the traditional Ngou family healing method
To force the bruises out. I know kung fu? Ha!
The guy in black!
Aunt, I've something to tell you.
I've decided to court my cousin.
It's gonna be very difficult.
The guy you brought back is much better looking than you.
If he makes a move, you won't stand a chance.
No way, he already loves someone else.
If you say so.
Let's see how you court her at the banquet tonight!
The guy in black last night was mysterious.
He must have a reason for wearing black.
Yeah, I thought so, too.
I think it was a woman pretending to be a man, and probably old, too.
How do you know she is old?
During the fight, her *** were sagging and her butt was swaying!
***! Have I ever let you down?
I've spent all those years raising you,
I've always cooked the best food for you, but you've eaten till you look like a pig!
I don't care anymore if the Ngou family have any descendants!
Curse you: No descendants!
What's so bad about wearing black?
Aunt...
Those who learn kung fu, all have tight bodies....
...unless they are over 90 years old.
Cheers! Bottoms up!
Master Lau,this is Yun Kwan, my cousin.
Come on, cheers.
- This is your favorite, roast goose leg. - Thanks.
She looks a bit similar to your girlfriend, Mandy.
- Aunt Ngou, cheers! - Who are you?
I'm Maddy, when will you invite me to Ngou Pi's wedding?
Enjoy yourself.
Let me teach you a lesson.
Cheers, everyone! Drink up!
Aunt, cheers!
Ngou Pi, go toast the bride!
- The bride? - Yeah, bring your cousin along.
- Cousin, let's go toast the bride! - I don't want to!
- Quickly! - Ok.
Back in a bit!
Hey, come on!
- Jimmy, this is my cousin, Yun Kwan. - How are you?
- Let's drink to them? - Sure.
Drinking game. Taiwanese "Guess Fingers"!
- Don't know that. - Fifteen-Twenty?
- Nope. - Tortoise Fist?
- Is that edible?
What do you know?
Simple ones. Rock Paper Scissors?
- 15 rounds, 8 games win. - 15 rounds, 8 games win?
Loser drinks all.
Any game is fine.
Start.
Hold on!
- This is delicious. - No thanks.
That was too fast. Let's play again.
- Loser drinks all. - No problem. Let's play again.
Not that game again. Let's play another.
OK.
- Whatever I choose? - Sure!
So you agree, right? Whichever game I choose?
You all heard him say it.
Let's see who has the longest strand of hair.
Senior, you're a little unfair.
- My hair is defintely shorter than yours. - Really?
I doesn't have to be from the head. If you can find any hair on your body
that is longer than my hair, you win. Retard!
My nose hair is just a bit longer than your hair.
Done puking?
Aunt, are you high? Why drink so much?
It's all because I was trying to help you get Yun Kwan!
You don't like me?
It's not that.
You still miss her?
Can you pretend I'm her for the time being?
I'm satisfied if you are.
I must use kung fu to force the wine out.
Senior, you said that you don't know kung fu.
So can you explain what happened just now?
Yes!
Are you gonna say that you got so drunk last night
It caused my eyes to see visions?
Yes.
She really can fly?
If she can raise trash like you, she must be highly skilled.
Also, don't you think her figure is similar to the guy in black that rescued us?
No wonder she got mad when I mentioned the guy in black.
But why does she want to hide it from me? Weird.
We'll know the reason if we can get her to admit she knows kung fu.
How?
Those who know kung fu will naturally defend themselves when being attacked.
We can attack her when she least expects it.
When?
I've thought about it. Meal times are the best.
I'll drop my chopsticks as a signal.
Once you see the signal, you attack her! Don't hold back!
In order to find out the truth, I have to do it.
Let go home.
- Our shopping's not done. - Then carry on.
- I wonder what Cousin likes to eat. - Sweet Sour Pork.
- How do you know? - Just guessing!
- Then what do you like? - Roast goose leg, get some to go.
Cousin, how do you know I like sweet sour pork?
Master Lau told me.
It was just a lucky guess!
Have some roast goose leg. It's your favorite!
Wow, you guessed his favorite and he guessed yours.
You two are so clever! Oh...thanks, Aunt.
Cousin, can I have some soy sauce?
- I'll get it. - Thanks!
So what's your name?
They call me Master Lau Ching.
MASTER Lau Ching?
No wonder you're good at guessing.
Not really, I guessed wrongly about you.
Like what?
I thought you knew kung fu, but actually you don't.
- What's going on over there? - Nothing.
Here's the soy sauce.
The signal!
Aunt!
- Why didn't she fight back? - ***! You crazy?
Didn't you say that...
What are you doing???
- What has she done that you need to hit her? - Yeah!
Cousin! Cousin!
Aunt has never hit me since birth. Why did you make me hit her, idiot?
Didn't you see it?
You punched her right in the face, and yet, she's fine.
With such a hard punch from a big strong man
How can any ordinary woman be ok?
That makes sense.
Trust me. Give me another chance.
How?
OK, first I'll...
...And then I'll go to her room...
...And that's the plan!
Starting now.
Brother Ching, where are you going?
I'm gonna *** your aunt.
Are you serious?
Yes.
Excuse me, is Lau Ching here?
You?
- "I must go home." - "No rush. Why must you go?"
"Who are you?"
What are you doing?
"I'm not a gorilla, What are you afraid of?"
Why are you so nervous?
I'm not a gorilla.
What are you afraid of?
"Do not come over or I'll scream! Don't come near me!"
These two *** want to test me again!
- "Don't be afraid." - Come here!
Do not come over or I'll scream!
Scream then, no one will care!
Let me have it!
- What are you doing? Hands off! - Step aside!
Be nice!
- ***! - This feels good!
Is he for real?
Have you had enough?
***, you really are...! Ngou!
Stop him, Ngou!
What are you two doing?
Can't you tell?
You're not human!
I was never human. Don't you know?
- She looks different. - Brother Ching!
Oh yes, I forgot to tell you. Your girlfriend's here.
Mandy! Mandy!
Aunt, did you give in to him?
***! You lent him *** mags, didn't you?
Boss, we followed Lau Ching.
He is staying with some young fool and an old woman.
Don't worry about the young fool.
The person that fought with me that night, must be the old woman.
Find out more about her, immediately!
OK!
How should I explain to her?
Who?
You...?
Miss Yun Kwan, I'm showering!
- Why? - Because I'm very dirty.
Why?
I was walking across the field earlier and I saw a $5 coin.
When I went to pick it up, I realised it was cow dung.
That's why I'm dirty.
- Why? - Stop asking me.
I admit I am a bit greedy, but that's human nature.
I'm not asking about that.
Why are you avoiding me? Answer me!
Dirty lovers! Ngou won't believe me if I told him.
I must catch you two red-handed!
Yun Kwan, the first time I saw you
caused me to be like this.
As I mistook you for someone else.
Actually, it's all a misunderstanding.
Ngou Pi?
Where did that idiot go?
I don't care if it's a misunderstanding.
I only know that night, the person that you were hugging...is me.
That's true... But I'm a man of integrity.
In fact, the one who really loves you is your cousin.
Cousin? No way.
It's just your excuse.
If you're really concerned about my cousin, I'll clear things up with him right now.
Don't do that, if you tell him now, he'll kill me.
He won't kill you. I know what to do.
Wah, that's gross!
What is going on? I better finish my shower quick
Before more photos get taken, or worse, that gay dude coming in to fiddle my ***!
Ahhh, Don't fiddle me! Don't fiddle me!
Tell me what I should do.
You might as well do whatever you want, now.
I knew you will say that!
You're my best buddy, you must help me decide!
Huh? ... What?
Cousin told me that she like a guy from the next village.
Did she tell you who it was?
No, but it's not important.
If you can help me tail her, we'll find out soon.
Oh? Well, that's no problem!
In fact, I thought it was you at first.
But Cousin said it wasn't you.
I gave it a lot of thought, and realised it can't be you!
- Of course! You're so sharp. - I'll leave now.
Be wary of being betrayed.
Did you hear wrongly? Cousin is not like that.
She won't, but that poser will.
I should leave this place at once. "For Ngou Pi"
Master Lau, where are you going?
I've troubled you guys for too long. It's time I left.
Hey, we're friends. Why so modest?
I've arranged for a friend to come pick me up outside.
No way! If you leave, who will help me catch that adulterer?
Ngou Pi, be lenient, and let him go.
No way! Once I catch him, I'll castrate him and feed the dogs with it!
No, you musn't do that!
Then what?
Force him to write you name one hundred time. That'll teach him.
- Wow, that cruel? - It'll kill him!
Hey, I have something to show you.
Come in. I found one of Cousin's secrets.
What secret?
She has a habit of keeping a diary!
Diary?!
Yes, it's this book.
Have you read it?
I thought I can read it with you.
Do you think that peeping at her diary is unethical?
It's not your lover being snatched, so it's easy for you to be ethical. But why should I?
"Tonight, I found the man of my dreams"
- Ngou Pi, I was gonna tell you... - "It makes me wanna vomit."
- She wrote that? - No, I said that.
How can you not vomit at what she wrote?
What were you gonna tell me?
I didn't say anything.
Then who did?
Not me.
"His snow white teeth glistens in the moonlight."
"His big lips lures me to kiss them."
"His big round eyes seem to talk to me"
But when he half closes them, he emits sweet love.
"When he has one eye open and the other close,
that means he wants you to make love to him."
What are you doing?
Sore eyes.
"And his uncombed hair,
like grass blowning in the wind, so charming."
"How I wish he can read my heart."
"God, his 5' 7" body is so seductive."
"His name is...
Say no more! I'm the guy!
...forever kept secret in my heart, never to be revealed."
What did you say? You're the guy?
I mean I'm the guy...
...who has no idea who this mysterious man is.
Right. Why do you have so much rice on your head?
It's dandruff.
There's also a piece of roast meat in the middle?
That's for eating. Why are you asking weird questions?
Very sensible.
Why are you tiptoeing while talking to me?
Am I? Well, you know...
Everyday at this time, I like to practice ballet. Now leave me.
Wow, Master Lau is so talented!
What am I doing? What exactly am I doing?
Brother Ching, where are you going?
I was just looking for your cousin.
Cousin's in my room. He wants to talk to you to clear the air.
- Crap! - You're going the wrong way!
Ngou Pi, I....
Where's your cousin?
I've already spoken to him, but I didn't mention your name. You can relax now.
I'm very worried.
Your cousin's in love with you, why can't you accept him?
Don't talk nonsense.
Cousin has always thought of me as a little sister.
How can he be in love with me?
No, he really is. He's told me hundreds of times
You're lying. You just want to avoid me, right?
Enough! I hugged you that night because I was too rash.
It's my fault. But I've already explained it you to last night.
The one I really love is Mandy! Mandy!
The one who really loves you is your cousin! Your Cousin!
I'm telling you the truth. I begging you. Believe me, please?
Cousin? It's me. Can I come in?
I need to hide!
Not there! In here!
Ready?
- Cousin. - Can I come in now?
Sure.
Cousin, what's the matter?
Cousin, I have something to tell you.
Tell me, then.
Why are you so anxious?
Oh, no reason.
Who's in the wardrobe?
- No one. - No one?
- Don't open it! - Step aside!
Don't!
Cousin!
I told you there's nobody. Look how clumsy you are.
Cousin, sit down. I'll clean you up. Here's a chair.
- Cousin, where are you? - I'm here.
Why are you over there?
Looking for something!
Cousin, hang on. I'll find it soon.
Please stay over there.
Don't go, Cousin!
I have built up my nerve to tell you.
Maybe it's because I can't see you now, But I see you in my dreams every night.
Cousin, every night in your dreams, what do you see?
I see you and I, when we were little
coming back from school together, playing together, eating together.
But last night, you told me that you love someone else.
I know it's time to wake up from this dream.
I hate myself for not telling you then.
I could only tell Master Lau that I love you.
Cousin, I know that loving someone is to make her happy.
If you can find someone who'll make you happy, then I'll be happy for you.
Why didn't you tell me earlier?
If you had told me earlier, the incident last night wouldn't have happened.
Cousin...you mean you'll marry me?
Ngou Pi...Damn?! What are you two doing?!
Aunt! We're finally getting married!
What?! You two are getting married?
Yes! Tell Aunt quickly, that you want to marry me!
Ngou Pi, how can this happen? Damn, how can you two get married?
We can, Aunt. We can.
Damn!
I know why I wasn't interested in any girls before.
I don't want any ordinary women.
I want this one! My one true love!
Aunt, don't deny us! Don't stop us from getting married!
If you two marry, then our Ngou bloodline will be broken. Oh God!
No way, Aunt. The two of us will...
...work hard to have many Ngou kids!
Many little Nou's! Many little Ngou's!
Tell Aunt now, that you'll have many Ngou kids for me!
- Aunt! - What's that sound?
- Aunt fainted! - Huh? Where did you come from?
- She fainted! - Aunt fainted?
Aunt!
Aunt, don't you want Cousin to get married?
Do whatever you like, I don't care anymore.
But you two young guys be careful. I've seen it on TV.
Something about AIDS, and once you're infected
You will surely die. Damn!
Aunt, I'm not gonna go sleep around.
I will only love Cousin.
You have not even married Master Lau, yet you already love Yun Kwan?
Me marry Master Lau? He's a man, why would I marry him?
Didn't you ask him to marry you?
Of course not. Even if he wants to, I won't
That's right, Aunt. You must have seen it wrong.
I proposed to Cousin. She has agreed to marry me!
- What? - Yes! Yes!
- Really? - Yes, Aunt.
I need to thank the gods!
- No need. - I really need to.
No need. You rest. Leave it to me. I'll do it.
We'll do it now.
Senior, rest well.
Master Lau, please stay.
Come.
Master Lau, I have something to ask you.
What?
Last night, you were with Yun Kwan.
Did I see it wrongly?
Actually, Ngou Pi has a good heart.
Now that he's happily in love
We should keep that a secret from him.
Don't worry. Starting now...
... I will forget all that has happened.
Please.
Why aren't you eating?
- Your biscuit's gone bad. - Really?
You are the frankest person that I've ever met.
Very good!
You flatter.
I know you were the guy in black that saved me that night. Right?
It's OK if you refuse to teach me kung fu
But why don't you pass your skills to Ngou Pi?
Our Ngou family has traditionally been enemies of other kung fu experts.
Ngou Pi's father would always get injured
Because he would always get challenged to a fight.
Eventually, he got killed.
I just don't wish to see Ngou Pi die young like his father.
Anybody home?
It's my friend.
***! Asked me to wait for him outside, and he never showed.
What a ***! Why isn't he dead?
- Smart! - Screw you!
Wow! Beauty!
- Now, this is... - Miss, have a seat!
My humle name is Chu Meng Chun. Nickname: Smart!
I'm a descendant of Chu Kor Hung.
May I know your name, Miss?
- Don't show your navel. You'll catch a cold. - Thanks for your concern!
I'll stand back!
You'll get a cramp, kicking our door!
Since that night when I first met you, Senior
I've been missing you daily.
Seems this master recognizes you.
Good. Don't let him know I'm still injured.
I knew you after fighting you. Senior, you are from
Guangdong Nanhai district's famous kung fu clan,
A descendant of the Ngou Family: Peony Ngou!
Senior, How are you?
Ask your mother! Cut the crap!
Good! You're straight-forward.
I came here today for Lau Ching!
I hope Senior won't interfere!
Did you brush your teeth today? Cos your mouth stinks!
He's a guest in my house. If you touch one hair on his head, you're my enemy!
If you want to fight him, wait till he moves out.
But I heard he wants to stay for a decade. Right?
I'm thinking of staying forever.
You can do that? I'll move my stuff over tomorrow!
***! I tried to be nice, but you want to play?
There's someone who also wants to stay with me forever.
Move it!
- Aunt! Aunt! - Ngou Pi!
Don't hurt them!
You are in no position to bargain. Hand Lau Ching over!
Let me go!
Senior, you've helped enough. I'm grateful.
Do what you want! But let them go first!
She really is powerful!
Ngou family kung fu?
Freeze! If you hurt her, I'll blow your head off.
If you kill me, you'll kill two others as well.
Ask that old hag if it's worth it.
- Aunt! - Don't shoot!
Chu...Chu what?
Asking you!
Chu Chun!
OK, ***! I've give you a chance.
In 10 days time, I want to see him at the tournament!
I hope you won't let me down then!
Hey, wait!
Hold it! I'm gonna shoot you to death!
Shoot if you dare!
I'm a man of honor.
Since you are unarmed, I'll spare you. Goodbye!
What are you doing?
- I thought your head might be hurt. - My head's fine.
Well, you might catch a cold.
Let me wipe your sweat!
She only has one nephew. She won't act rashly.
I'll show her how Lau Ching dies!
Cousin, are you scared?
I was at first, but not anymore.
How come?
I was afraid that you wouldn't love me.
But now that you want to marry me, I'm not afraid of anything anymore.
Really?
It seems they are forcing you to fight!
Right now I'm just worried about Ngou Pi and her.
I received a letter today.
It say "If you get into the ring, we will release Ngou Pi."
It looks like I am dead whether I fight or not.
Damn, it's better to call the cops.
No, better not. They will bring Ngou Pi to the stadium
And they will kill him if you call the cops.
I think so, too.
Peony, our feelings are the same.
Right now, the only way is to split up:
One team to rescue, another team to stall for time.
Stall for time?
My right hand is still injured. How can I stall?
With your kung fu skills? You can't.
But with our Ngou family kung fu skills, that's different.
Senior, you mean you'll fight on my behalf?
Dammit, she means she'll accept you as her disciple! Idiot!
Peony, our feelings are the same again.
Really, Senior?
If you were half as smart as him, I'll be happy.
She's starting to praise me. She likes me!
Starting tomorrow, I'll teach you kung fu.
Thank you, Master!
***!
What time is it? Why aren't you in bed?
It's...
11 o'clock,
25 minutes,
30 seconds.
Goodnight!
Weirdo!
What kung fu have you learnt before?
Show me.
Sure...
Ngou Pi, you're back!
***!
That's your kung fu?
You'd better learn kung fu from me well!
Only one week left.
However smart you are, it's too short to master Ngou kung fu.
Even if you could, you can only be my equal.
Stop shaking. You shake all the luck away.
So now, I'm going to teach you a long lost Ngou skill...
"The Electric Fist"
Lost long? If it's lost, how do I learn it?
If I think about it, it'll all come back to me.
But what does it have to do with this?
It's a kind of dynamo.
I hope it can transfer electricity into your hands.
- Can it? - Just listen to me, first. Don't interrupt!
"The Electric Fist" was told to me by my father.
In our Ngou family, there was a superhuman.
Born in the Ming dynasty, his name was Ngou Feng.
He was our ancestor, and was obsessed with learning kung fu.
Every day, he would practice for 10 hours.
What was odd, was that he would only practice late at night.
But something strange happened on one stormy night.
The first few hours of the storm were normal.
Then, the thunder and lightning got stronger
And he started getting annoyed.
As lightning flashed more and more, his speed got faster and faster!
The louder the thunder, the louder were his punches.
Soon, the sound from his punches drowned out everything else around.
In the wind and the rain, he kept on practising.
Wind got stronger, rain got heavier
And he got more and more excited!
It's as if he went crazy, and couldn't stop.
The more he practised, the mightier his punches became.
Finally, like a mad dog, He charged towards the lightning!
And then he died? What a shame.
Wrong! He had super powers.
Not only did he survive, he absorbed the electricty
and discovered 'The Electric Fist".
This fist is so powerful, it's undefeatable.
Since your right arm has superpowers,
this phenomenon might happen to you, too.
I did it!
The almighty...
"Electric Fist!
Lau Ching, why do you keep forcing me?
You dirty scoundrel!
I must kill you for the greater good!
Good! Watch my move!
Chop you!
- Chop you again! - Block you again!
Check out my skill!
So what's your story?
I'm Wutang Flying Phoenix. How dare you hit my husband? Draw!
Lady, you're too hasty and hot-tempered.
You're sexually weak!
This again?
Wa Mountain Manly Sword!
I have wasted my love for you!
Because of this moustached man, you hurt my brother?
I will fight you to the death!
Watch this!
Good floating skills!
Daydreaming!
Fantasizing about comic heroes? You think I don't know?
Since you know how, why don't you learn it?
Some ancestors tried.
They were struck dead by lightning. You think I want to?
You want me to die, too?
That's why I'm asking you to use the machine.
- Is this reliable? - Put your hand it and we'll find out.
Touch it? Can't we just look at it?
- Trust me! - Let me get a bug to test it first!
Don't worry! Let put your arm in.
- I'm scared. - Don't be.
- My heart is beating. - Stop beating.
- No, no... - You fear that, or me?!
Well, you're a little scarier...
- See? It's fine, right? - Yeah...
OK, good!
Hit me twice, quickly!
I got electrocuted. You still wanna fight? I can't, I wanna faint!
Why are they so soft? That's strange.
- Told you... - Ah, I got it!
This machine is too weak, I need to increase the power!
Still not powerful enough.
Do you have a big one?
- No. - No?
What are you doing? Getting in my way!
You need it!
- How much? - $10 for six.
What?
- $10 for six! - Used to be $10 for eight.
Those are $10 for eight.
How about $10 for seven for these?
No way. You can take one from there.
Hey ***! Let her buy how many she wishes!
Are you gonna sell it cheaper?!
Right, Peony?
Don't annoy me, I'll beat you up! ***! Watch out!
Good! Let's try again. Come on.
More power is better.
Good! Again!
- Hey! - Hmm?
Is the method wrong?
No matter what, I don't want to get electrocuted again
Because my right hand is feeling a little numb.
Hey! I think I must let lightning strike you, before I am satisfied.
But how to create lightning?
Peony.
How old are you?
You lunatic!
He shocked me, that was scary!
She's hooked!
Mister, you fishing?
Yeah.
What are those two rod you're holding?
Tools for electrocuting fish.
Electrocuting fish?
Master! I've thought it over. Electrocuting me is not the answer.
You'd better teach me Ngou family kung fu quickly
So that I can deal with Wan To better.
Are you blind?
Nope, my eyesight's just a little blurry.
Your hair's covering your eyes, no wonder.
"Youth, give me youth..."
These moves are terrible. Is this part of the Ngou family kung fu?
Go to hell!
Kid, you alright?
Master, why did you push me?
Serves you right!
You're so clumsy!
Idiot!
Ah! Why do your hands have electricity?
Why is he not shocked?
Strange. Don't tell me it's short-curcuited?
Ching, get up here now!
Mister, you think you're a fish?
- Ching, come up! - Coming.
Come, quick.
Quickly, use your fist to punch me.
Forget it. I'm not petty.
Cut the crap, just do it, quickly.
- You mean it? - Yes!
-Hit where? - Anywhere!
Flying Horse Meteor Fist?
Peony, what happened? Why did you end up like this?
***! You hit my girl?
- Wait, he still has electricty! - Why did you hit her?
Hey, don't touch him!
Why are you OK?
I'm fine. Why is your hair smoking?
Take your fist, go to the river and soak it in.
- Soak again? - Of course! Quickly!
- Hey, you look pretty today! - Really?
My hair was not like this!
It was much nicer. Omega-styled...
This Rolex style now is also not bad...
Master, they're soaked! What next?
- Good! Try a harder punch! - OK!
Not me. Him.
Roger!
Master, did you see that?
- There's electricity again! - I wanna ask...
I got it. We left out one key procedure.
Ancestor Ngou Feng was electrocuted in the rain.
That's why he absorbed electricity.
So your fist needs to be wet in order to absorb electricty
Then you can unleash "The Electric Fist"!
I don't have to fear Wan To! I'm so happy!
Don't be happy yet, your electricty's gone.
That means your absorbtion powers are weak.
That African's quite handsome.
- Yup, but he's a bit burnt. - Huh?
A bit burnt.
The most sensational boxing match in the country will soon begin.
Introducing the contestant representing Japan, Cheng Wan To.
Mr Wan To, are you representing Japan or yourself?
We heard that you want to take revenge
Because Lau Ching killed your brother. Care to comment?
All will be settled after this match.
You're so confident of winning.
But it was Lau Ching, after being critically injured, that defeated your brother.
Let me take a photo of your brother.
Why do you hit people?
Whoever disrespects my brother will bear responsibility!
The match hasn't even begun, and Cheng Wan To is already furious.
So the audience can expect the match to be very exciting!
Umpire Li, what do you think?
I...think...the match later...will be...
...very...very...very...exciting!
And introducing Hong Kong's "New Fist of Fury", Lau Ching!
Ching, remember, each charge only lasts up to one minute.
Be calm. Most importantly, you must be quick.
Don't forget, you only have a minute. You must knock him out within a minute.
- If not, you're in trouble. - Understood.
- Be careful. - Good luck!
Fighters to the ring, please.
Hey be careful. Don't let people stare.
Lau Ching, come on!
Challenger: Cheng Wan To!
Champion: Lau Ching!
Come on!
Let me repeat the rules again:
In this match, each round is 3 minutes.
Number of rounds: no limit.
Fighting styles: also......no limit, either.
If you get knocked down, the referee, that's me, will count to ten.
If.....you get knocked....down,
And after the referee... that's me....has count to ten,
And...you stay down...you lose.
If he gets up, he can c-c-c-continue.
Time is nearly up for your fist!
Enough ***!
Punch the referee, too! No mercy! Whack him!
If one of you is killed...
Over a minute!
- Start! - Wait!
If there is anything you don't understand, I can explain it for you.
Do you feel electricity?
Trying to seduce me?
After this match, OK? Start!
What's going on? Start...fighting!
Stop...hiding....
Get lost!
Wait, let me count.
1...2...3...
- ...4...5... - I can't bear to look.
Don't mess with your hair! If not, your Omega will become a Rolex.
Are you all right?
Don't count so fast.
You............... Wait....Don't!
Come back, or I'll start counting.
Count then. No one stopping you.
- Wait... - Get lost! Lau Ching!
- Why are you here? - What? What?
Get back here, or you're a tortoise!
- What? - Get back!
What did you say? Stand there and wait for me!
I'm a tortoise?
Well done! I'll remember what you said. Watch out!
- What? What?! - What?!
He's gone back up! Get back!
Count him! Hurry!
- 1... - Let me do it!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! I WIN!
Oh, it's you.
You're not allowed to hit him. Time's up.
What did I tell him? I said he only had one minute, that moron.
Come, get the water!
How can I hit him?
The referee took more than one minute to talk!
Ching, you must defeat him fast, or he'll learn your secret.
Charge your fist!
What are they up to?
Done!
I'm...warning...you two...again
You must...obey...my...decisions.
Don't...be like...the last...round.
Bro, you still yapping?
I will protect you. Don't be nervous.
- So... - Go tell the doctor!
Good! Let me kill you!
Brilliant!
I'll start counting. Back soon.
1, 2, 3, 4,
- Good! - 5, 6, 7, 8...9
Again?
What you looking at? What? I'll whack you all.
That's enough! Count, you moron! Count him!
Don't...be...impatient! I'll...count you as well!
What? Count me!
You can count him but not me? Carry on counting!
1...2
- You're a tortoise! (3...4) - You too!
- What?! - 5...
6...7
- Later, OK? Don't be impatient. - ***, no more electricity!
8...9
Fine! I'll come up and fight you again!
Faster...Come on!
B-B-B-B-Begin!
Come on, come over!
Come over if you dare! Come over, I'll beat you flat!
I'm coming over right now to whack you!
I have a cramp in my leg.
I can't walk. If I could, I would whack you, ***!
My leg is cramped up, too!
I can't move, too. If not, I'll beat you into minced meat.
Come, try me! Come, try! COME!
Babe, it's OK. Let me help you.
- Huh? - Come on!
- You come over! - You first!
If you take just one step, I'll punch you!
- Like this? - You want to perm your hair again?
No, I need to waste time, or I'll get electrocuted again.
You hairstyle is hideous. Looks like a comic-book villian.
Who styled it? Nelson?
Nelson?
From Central. Lam Kwai Fong's Nelson.
Ah, Yes! Nelson!
I can tell from one look, cos it looks like noodles.
Screw you! You think yours looks good? Who did yours?
Roger from TST East. Don't you know him?
Oh, Roger. I know him!
Might as well get the best, since we are paying for it.
Look how nice my hair is. You think it's cheap?
Your hair's poking your eyes. Don't you feel uncomfortable?
- What's going on? - Yeah.
We had such a nice chat that I forgot to smack you!
You were lucky!
- I'll knock you down in the next round! - You'll be knocked down!
He let me talk him down!
You were lucky this time. Don't be happy yet.
You guys have a lot to talk about?
If this goes on, he'll discover your secret.
Soak them quickly.
Hold on!
I want to exchange buckets!
Why should we? Nah....
Look over there!
Master Lau, you are my idol!
Ngou Pi!
- What now? - Do it!
Then what about me?
- You want them to die? - True.
But you need to carry on fighting! How to?
But they have hostages!
- Fine! - No, wait! I can't let him die, too!
But Ngou Pi's still in their hands. There's no choice!
- OK! - No way!
Still hesitating?
- Are you switching or not? - Yes! No!
How do I fight him?
He's still in a daze. Hit his vitals. You might have a chance.
- Show me no mercy! - OK...
I warn you: no smoking, drinking, chatting allowed in the ring!
Start!
Why so fast, now?
I don't want to waste time. Smack him!
I'll kill you!
Do it! Smack him!
Poke you! Poke you! Poke you....
You dead yet?
Poor thing!
Babe, how are you?
Call a time out!
Time out! Time out!
I'm gonna split you into pieces!
Oh god, he's dead!
- He's not dead! - He has superpowers, remember?
Good! Smack him! Smack him!
Superman?
What? Come on! Come on!
Finish him! Finish him!
LIGHTNING FIST!
ALL BUDDHAS' APPEAR!
- Go down! - Excuse me!
Excellent! Smack him! Smack him!
It's a bird?
No!
It's a plane?
No! It's SUPERMAN!
Damn, it's a beggar!
I bet that he wins!
- Aunt! - Yun Kwan!
Good stuff!
Ching!
Mandy!
Ching!
Are you OK?
- I'm fine... - That's good!