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bjbj ~ Wired for Success TV ~ Mastering the 7 Areas of Life HYPERLINK "http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv"
www.wiredforsuccess.tv Presented by Melanie Gabriel & Beryl Thomas [Episode 3] The F word
s Not a Dirty Word The F word s Not A Dirty Word [Episode 3] Wired For Success TV [0:00:20]
Beryl: Welcome to another episode of HYPERLINK "http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv" http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
. I am Beryl Thomas and this is my colleague, Melanie Gabriel. Say hello, Melanie. Melanie:
Hello everyone. Beryl: Here at Wired for Success, we aim to bring you some fresh thinking and
new perspectives to help you master the seven areas of life. For more on what these areas
are, just head over to our introductory blog at www.WiredforSuccess.TV. And you may be
with us today on YouTube or listening by podcast or of course, watching on our site, wherever
you re joining us from, we d like to give you a really warm welcome. We have great pleasure
in bringing you another special guest today, Joanna McCormick. Hello, Jo. Joanna: Hi, Beryl.
Beryl: And welcome. Joanna: Thank you. Beryl: Jo is here to share with us her thoughts and
experiences on the subject of encouraging women to become more comfortable with their
femininity. Jo describes her many roles as wife, mother, event manager, NLP trainer,
and feminine energy coach. I m surprised you have time to be with us today, Jo. Go on.
Joanna: I was going to say, well, even though I m at home and this is my feminine energy
coach moment, I guess, the doorbell might ring and the dog might bark. Life still goes
on and the mother and wife roles are always there in the background. So bear with me if
that happens. Beryl: We will bear with you. Melanie: This is actually appropriate to the
topic. Beryl: Yes, it is. Joanna: Exciting. Beryl: So, Jo is passionate about helping
every woman realize that feminine is not a dirty word and vulnerability does not imply
weakness, quite the opposite. But this sounds like a really good juicy topic, Jo. So let
s just head in. I would like to start by asking you why women need to review their ideas about
femininity. Joanna: I think we can see right now in society that there is a massive imbalance
that even not just society, even the universe itself. The planet is definitely out of balance.
And it s all about energy balance because everything is energy. Everything just vibrates
with the different energy and that s what create solid and that s what create things.
So it s all about getting that energy balance back. And I believe that once we as the main
inhabitant of this planet that we have, once we regain our balance of energies then I think
the earth will settle down as well. So, it s almost like it s mirroring what s going
on with us. We are in financial crisis. The world is in turmoil. There are wars, there
s this and the other. And oddly enough, if you look at the weather it seems to reflect
it. It s weird but that s what s happening. So there are tsunamis when there aren t normally.
There are volcanoes erupting when they don t normally. Earth moving, all the things that
are unusual are suddenly happening and I believe it s because there is this imbalance of energy.
So it s almost like, I want to heal the world just by allowing women to rediscover their
femininity. It sounds so simple but I believe that to be true. Beryl: And it s interesting,
isn t it that things have gone so far one way. When I think about my parents generation,
women had a very different role but now, we ve been led to believe that we can have it
all and cram it all in and go out to work and sometimes what is a very masculine workplace
and it feels like it s coming to work a crescendo as you re saying and something needs to change.
How did you come in to the story? I m interested in your what excited you about all of this?
Joanna: I mean I think for me, it was the fact that I learned to be very masculine woman
for most of my life. And that s because my father died when I was very young. My mom
then stepped up into the masculine role. So she was at first, she was just a mom who was
at home and taking care of us, the archetypal stay at home mom. She did everything for us
and was amazing at it. And then my father died. And she didn t know how to drive a car
and she didn t know how to balance the books and she didn t know any of that. Now, she
was a very intelligent woman who went to university but chose to be with her children because
that s what she wanted and that s what gave her fulfillment. And back then, we were lucky
enough that we didn t need two parents to be at work every hour of the day in order
to get enough money to actually live. So she stayed at home. When he died, I mean it rocked
her universe completely. And I think she, at this point, was so scared to show any level
of weakness that she protected herself from the outside world. So, she didn t ask for
any help. She didn there were so many places for her to go to, so many people who would
have taken care of her and we had an amazing family, amazing friends but she chose to do
it all alone. And because of that, she had to step into a masculine. That s what masculine
energy is. It allows you to be in control, to be focused and driven, to not allow anything
to rock you. If we take the analogy that a woman is like a sea. Sometimes we can be calm
and still and beautiful and sometimes we can be waves that are crashing. The men are the
rocks. They just stand still no matter what. They re solid. And that s what she became.
And because she was obviously my role model, I learned from her. And so, I became a very
good man without even knowing it. That combined with schools that just at the time, the only
important things were the academic qualifications you walked away with. So therefore, all emphasis
was on getting your O levels or A levels and going to university and all of that thing.
Well, that s one side of your brain. And that s the masculine side. That s very, very male-dominated
stuff. So that combined with my mom, I mean I grow up and I did brilliantly well at university
and I went into career upon career, getting more and more focused into the masculine work,
I ended up being a computer programmer. You can t really get more masculine when it comes
to a job, 100% in your logical brain the whole day. And I kind of discovered that it wasn
t fulfilling me. And I was 36 when that happened. I was 36 when I made that discovery. Beryl:
What did you so, I m interested in that. What was that discovery? What was going on inside
you? What were you feeling, Jo? Joanna: At the time, I was out living in Switzerland.
I ve been head hunted to go out there because I was the best in my field. And I was homesick.
And I was homesick for the connection and companionship of home. Does that make sense?
Because my family weren t here. My family moved away by that point. My mom now lives
in Canada. So it wasn t family I was missing but it was home. It was this idea of being
able to connect with everyone around me because the Swiss are very different. If you know
anything about the Swiss, they re very insular. They re almost xenophobic. They don t like
outsiders at all. So I m there in a situation where people don t want to talk to you, don
t want to communicate with you. And I m very gregarious and very talkative, as you can
tell. So I found that really hard and I was there for two years. And by the end of that
two years even though I had more money than sense, I absolutely didn I knew something
was missing and that s when I kind of fell upon a personal development program that changed
my life. That s when NLP came into it. And it wasn t until a little bit further on than
that that actually when I was in all this NLP, finding out that we can make our own
choices, that life doesn t have to be dictated from our past which was such a relief for
me because I was looking at my past in a I seem to have the same boom and bust kind of
scenario when I was going in relationships, in everything. And I was going, I don t want
that for the rest of my life. And the fact that basically these people who I suddenly
was trusting because they had all these knowledge said to me, It doesn t have to be like that
anymore. You can choose your own future. And I was relieved. And then when I found out
about masculine and feminine energy through the guys I was working within NLP, they brought
some amazing speakers to teach us more. And this incredible couple, Tanya and Nicky, who
don t really do relationship work anymore but at that time, that was their thing. They
were doing relationship work. And I went to visit them in Austria and walked away going,
I need to change my life because this is fulfillment and I need it in my life now. Beryl: So the
relationship work, I m interested in that, so are you saying, Jo that this imbalance
in you was affecting was affecting your relationships? This male and feminine Joanna: Oh, completely.
Beryl: OK. Joanna: Yes. I mean I was either having extremely short-term relationship I
was being an archetypal man in that I would find meaningless relationships and have very
short-term relationships that were fulfilling in only one area of my life. And that s physical.
That was it. And then and the times that I mean I was married and divorced by this point.
And the reason I was married and divorced was because s interesting. When we first met,
when we re dating, women naturally go into feminine. We want to be taken care of at that
point. Beryl: Yes. Joanna: There is something lovely about a man who chooses the restaurant
and takes you there and does all the things for you. And instead of that feeling like
you re being disempowered, suddenly, you feel like that s the way it should be. But when
we then step into the relationship, it s almost like, Well now, it s real. I m going to take
back control. Now, it s real. I m going to be the one who makes the decisions. Now, it
s real. I m going to do all those things that I did before you came along but I kind of
just pretended that I could give it up. But actually, I can Beryl: That s so true. Joanna:
And that s what I did. Beryl: That s what you did. Joanna: Yeah, that s what I did.
And I ruined what could have been a great marriage because of the fact that I didn t
allow him to be a man. And if a man doesn t feel like a man, he needs to find it somewhere
else. And men do it in all different ways. They might do it by going off to play golf
on weekend or they might go down the pub with their friends or they might spend all their
time on the computer or they might go and find a mistress. It s as simple as that because
those things allow them to feel masculine again and in control. Being the one who is
making the decisions and doing things. Beryl: Fascinating. Joanna: Oh yeah. So, I didn t
allow him to do any of that and he found somebody else who did. And so, very, very quickly we
went from seemingly being very happy to him choosing to leave me because he realized that
he could get what he thought he was getting at the beginning and didn t continue and he
knew he could get it from somebody else. So he went and did. I mean I was lucky, he didn
t string out over years and years because some men do. Some men continue to have a relationship
on the side or they continue to do this, going sex or whatever it is because of the fact
that that makes him feel like a man and then they go back to their wife and just let her
stamp all over him. That s what I was doing. I don t do that in my marriage now. But also,
it s kind of a two-way straight in that firstly, I understand it a lot better and therefore,
I know when I am going into that danger zone of taking back control. But my amazing husband
who used to be so rightly so behind me earlier, Brandon, he doesn t let me. He kind of goes,
You know, that s not acceptable to me. That s my job. So leave it for me. And because
he does that, I go, OK. You re right. It is. Sorry. And it just it reminds me to stay in
my feminine. Beryl: So it s like you both read the script. You know. Joanna: Yeah. Beryl:
That s really helpful. Joanna: I was lucky. He already had it unpacked. When we first
met, I was definitely still in my masculine phase and he was not attracted to me at all.
It was almost like he didn t see me. This is a very interesting point actually. It s
one I talk a lot with my women when they say to me, But there isn t any decent man out
there. There s no man I can trust. There s no man who is going to take care of me like
that. There s no man who is going to treat me like a princess. And I go, Actually, there
are but you re not seeing them because like a radio dial, you re not tuned into the right
energy frequency. So instead of hearing them and seeing them all the time, you re actually
ignoring them all the time. And similarly, they re not seeing you on the right frequency.
It s just about getting that energy right and then suddenly, there s an attraction.
And it just was like that with Brandon and I. Three months from when I met him, three
months later, he asked me out. And he asked me out by sweeping me off my feet. He literally
said, d like to take you to South Africa. That was the first thing. There wasn t a,
s go for dinner and get to know each other. He was like we were talking about South Africa,
I said I always wanted to go and he basically said, Let me take you there. And I went, And
then ran off to my girlfriend and went, I think he might like me. Beryl: Go Mel. Melanie:
Joanna, are you saying that before you discovered your feminine self, had he made that suggestion,
you would have had to what would you have what would have been your response previously?
Joanna: Sorry? Well, I think his response when he first met me was, That s a bull breaker.
That s the kind of woman who is so masculine. Why would I m looking for someone to take
care of. She clearly can do it all herself so she doesn t need me. Melanie: Right. So
it would never have come up. OK. Joanna: Yeah, because actually, that s a really important
thing for men. They want to feel needed. They need to feel needed. And when we re so busy
doing it all ourselves and being super women, oddly enough, they re not attracted to that.
They want us to be going, Actually, you know what? I can t do it myself. Can you help me?
Will you please take care of me? And suddenly, it s like they swell up and they go, Oh yeah,
I can do that. Thank you very much. If you say just if you say to any man, I need your
help. It changes their life because they hear you saying, I trust you as a man and therefore
trust you to be able to help me. They can t hear what we say. They hear what their translation
is. Melanie: So how difficult women who are effectively women and men s clothing, how
difficult is it for them to let go of this? What is actually the mindset shift they need
to just allow this to happen? Joanna: It s massive, Mel. It really is. But it can be
done in an instant. That s the weird thing. You need to just know that it s possible for
the man to be there, for that man to be there. And I think for me, I mean I got to a point
in my life where I knew that if I didn t let go of all this stuff, I was never going to
meet the man of my dreams and I was never going to have the family that I wanted. And
there was something inside me that all my life has said, re going to be a mother. You
re going to at some point be a mother in your life. And it was almost the clock got so loud
that I couldn t hear anything else. And it was you absolutely have to get this sorted
now because if you don t get this sorted now, it s going to be too late for you. And it
was the pain thing of not being what I knew I was supposed to be on this planet, there
was something inside me that went, You are supposed to be a mother. You are born so that
you can continue the human race. That s part of being here. And it was that driver for
me that meant I literally came home from that relationship weekend in Austria. I cut all
ties to the men in my life that were not serving me. And the universe, I m sure you will know,
the universe loves a vacuum. And so, I created a massive vacuum in my life for the right
man. I then did all the incantations and visualizations and all that around him and I did that until
he walked through the door. I mean it was that simple but it s such a hard mindset because
the society is saying, as a woman, you should be able to do everything. Most women at some
point in their life have been hurt by men. And so, their own defenses come up. Their
own, OK, I want to take care of myself because I know that I m control and that means I m
OK. Melanie: In fact, I was going to say Joanna: Because for women, our place needs the security.
Sorry. Melanie: No, it s OK. You ve just said what I was going to say because I was going
to say that in the mind of some women, it s a very high price to pay to allow a man
to be a man. Joanna: Yes. Melanie: Yeah. Joanna: And that s why because in order to allow a
man to be a man, we have to trust them with our highest need which is that of security.
You give a woman any level of insecure I mean if you think about these two scenarios, a
man finds you up and he says, Oh, should we go out tonight? And he s all dithery s kind
of dithery and going, Oh, we could go here. We could go there. What about this? What do
you think? And da, da, da. And you don you re not attracted to that energy. But a man
who finds up and says to you, Can you put your best frock on. Be ready at half past
7. I m picking you up. We re going out. You don t go, Oh, don t you boss me around. Oh,
bloody hell no. God, I can t stand people who do that. You actually go, Yeah, Brilliant.
I love it. Thank you. I know what to do. I know when to be ready. I know the important
information here. Best frock. Be ready at half past 7. I will be. And you are excited
about it. And it gives you butterflies and it makes you like a little child again. And
remember, being a child is not a bad thing. It s a wonderful thing. We should all be more
child-like. Enjoy life. It s here to live. It s here to have fun with. Beryl: So femininity
can be light. It can be fun. It can be yeah, I can see your reaction there. Joanna: Well,
it is. Beryl: Yeah. Joanna: I mean it is. Beryl: It can be safe. I guess that s what
I m trying to say really. It can be a safe place. Joanna: And for all those women out
there who are going, There are no men in my life I can trust. I don t believe you because
you will have male friends. You will have males in your family. There will be somebody
that actually you trust who is a man. But because you don t think of them in a ***
way, you don t lump him in that category of relationship and blah, blah, blah. But once
you get used to trusting a man, then the men who are worthy of trust will come. Melanie:
So, in the working scenario and of course, how you do one thing is how you do everything,
I expect in the working scenario, you won t necessarily get a woman saying to you, I
don t trust men. They will be bent on trying to achieve success by the old methods they
ve been brainwashed into. Now, how do you make the breakthrough there? Joanna: I think
for most women, certainly the ones that I work with, the reason they come to me is because
they realized they can t do it all themselves. And that is then when they need to trust on
somebody else with it. When you see, especially with women in business, women in business
who are busy doing everything in their business, they re not working on their business. And
that s because they re terrified that if they ask somebody else to do that tiny little bit,
they won t do it as well as, I can do it myself. So I m not going to give it away. I m going
to do it which means I m going to do the accounting and I m going to do the marketing and I m
going to do the admin and I m going to pick up the phone and I m going to do all my coaching
and, and, and, and. We give ourselves this massive to-do list and then we beat ourselves
up at the end of the day because we didn t get any done. And those women finally go,
I can t carry on like this. And there are women who come to me and go, Apparently, you
say can do it another way. And I go, Yeah, you can. s much easier and it is a lovely
way to do it but involves the T word and the T word for most women is the one that scares
them the most. Trust. But we trust the universe every day. We trust the universe to still
be supporting our life. That s a big trust but we don t even think about it. We trust
the water company to supply us with water. We trust there is trust going on at all times
of your life. But when you re not looking for it and you don t recognize it, you can
easily say, I just don t trust. Melanie: So I suppose borrowing some NLP terms, where
you need to be going with these women is keeping them focus on what it is they really want
to create because that is indeed what they ll start drawing to them. Joanna: Yes. Melanie:
Rather than be focused on because if you re coming from a point of view of not trusting,
by implication, you re dragging with you some negative expectations and of course, what
you pay attention to is what you re going to draw into your environment. Joanna: Exactly
that. I mean as we know with NLP that it is all about where you re putting your expectations,
what you re expecting to happen is pretty much always what will going to happen. I have
always been an absolutely fantastic manifestor but for a good well, a good portion of my
life, I only manifested absolute rubbish because that s where all my focus went. I was just
green [0:25:18] [Phonetic] at it. I could and part of that, I manifested the end of
our relationship because for three days, well, things weren t going well. All I could I think
of was he s going to leave me. That was it. Three whole days, three whole days of energy
going to he s going to leave me. And at the end third day Melanie: Not realizing you were
creating it. Joanna: he said, m going to leave. I went, I knew that was going to happen. I
was right. It s almost like, Yeah, clever me, clever me. And I ve done it with exams.
I ve done it with relationships. I ve done it with businesses. I did a business that
I basically then went, Well, it s not it will never actually work. I m going to try at this
business but it s never actually going to work. And I m going to do this but that will
never work. And oddly enough, two years later, I had no business. But then NLP taught me
that this was a good thing because it meant that actually I have great powers of manifestation.
And since then, I ve been able to manifest some incredible things in my life and very
quickly sometimes as well. Brendan was manifested in three months. We joke about the fact that
if ever I kind of have that, Oh God! You drive me mad. He goes, Yeah, but you manifested
me this way. Thanks. Melanie: So, the women that you actually worked with and coached,
what kind of shifts have they been reporting to you in terms of just how they ve turned
around generally? Because if you ve coached them in terms of their work and being more
feminine on the stage, they re going to be noticing even more than that. So I m wondering
in terms of work, what kind of results they re telling you which far exceed what you both
were working on? Joanna: Yeah. I think the one thing that is just is always I don t do
relationship stuff because that isn t where I even though it s still feminine energy things,
my passion is for women on stage and helping women to discover their feminine stage. And
all of them come back and go, My husband is loving you. My husband thinks you are the
best thing since [0:27:54] [Indiscernible] because you re exactly right. s important
that what they do is obviously they live it. They don t just do this on stage. But they
actually live this way of being. And so suddenly, their man is stepping up and their man is
becoming more masculine. And when you have more masculine man around you, it makes it
easy to be even more in your feminine. So, it s kind of s a beautiful cycle that helps
women be even more in their feminine because men are stepping up around them. They end
up being more masculine around them. So suddenly, the men are feeling empowered again and they
are feeling like they have a job to do. If you talk to men these days they say, Oh, I
don t know how to please my woman because she s so busy doing it all herself. I can
t do anything without her sucking at me going, What the hell do you think you do? You think
I can t do it by myself? Of course, I can do it. s like I want to take care of this
woman. I want to love her and I want to show her how much she means to me but she s not
allowing me to do that. And so suddenly, these women are letting go, trusting, and they re
doing some surrender and that s very good for the bedroom. And all those things that
s true. And so suddenly, their relationship is blossoming but it s a side effect. Melanie:
Yeah. I tell you what is alarming about as you described this and you re so right. We
re starting to take it for granted that we have to be like men and be seen to be independent
and I m not knocking independence but it is in a distorted way. But the alarming this
is that if we continue like this and don t own our femininity and mothers, and we have
male children, we ll be rearing emasculated men of the future by being this way. Joanna:
Yes, it s very interesting because we have generally two role models as we re growing
up obviously and it should be a man and a woman in terms of the energy. And that doesn
t mean that there s anything wrong with same sex relationships because my sister is gay
and she and her partner or her wife now, are in such good compatibility that it s like
they each take a turn at being in the masculine energy. Because masculine is in us. It s not
supposed to be never used. m not saying, you sit around like some pampered princess doing
absolutely nothing and just, Oh, look at me. I m so lovely la, la, la, la. That isn t being
feminine either. There is a strength to us and there are times that we absolutely need
to step into our masculine in order to get things done because women, we re about the
journey and we re about getting to the destination. If we didn t ever used masculine, we d never
actually get there. We d just be too much enjoying what s going on around us. We don
t actually get anything focused and done. So, there are absolutely times we need to
use our masculine energy. And my sister and her partner wonderfully do this kind of when
they need to, one of them steps into the masculine and gets it done and then it means that there
is harmony. There is the attraction. There are all those things. Otherwise, they wouldn
t [0:31:23] [Inaudible]. So anyway, back to when you re growing up, there s a masculine
and feminine there should be masculine and feminine energy role model. Well, if you re
mom is busy being masculine, guess what happens to your dad? When he s there, he has to be
feminine. And as a man, exactly as you re saying, as a boy, you look up to your father
as a way of leading you to be a man in the future and all that happens is they become
a complete bloody wimps. And through no fault of anybody s because we do this by modeling.
It s all about modeling. And that s actually what kind of I believe what s happened during
the times when we decide, women went to work. And of course, that s a great thing. And of
course, if that s people s choices, it s excellent. But we only have men in the roles to model.
We didn t have feminine women in the roles to model so we modeled what was there. So
in our jobs, we became masculine because that s the only role model around us. And then
when we got used to it, the thing about being in masculine when you re in it, is it makes
you feel very secure because it s a masculine energy. So you go, Oh, I like this energy.
This makes me feel secure. And then you take it home and you forget to leave it at the
door and go, Actually, that s my work energy. I want to be a feminine wife, a feminine mother.
You walk in the door going, Look at me, I m all driven and focused and I m being a man.
You say a wrong word to me and I ll snap your head off. And all those kinds of things. And
the guy goes, What the hell? Where do I fit in? And in order to not be at look ahead and
be constantly, constantly battling because I you re both masculine then that s what happens.
It s competition. It s like two stags rutting the whole time. That s not a nice relationship
to be in. So somebody has to come down. Somebody has to move towards feminine. And if the woman
is a really strong woman, it will not going to be her so the guy does it. So I mean, a
case in point, a very, very gorgeous friend of mine said to me when he met Brandon, he
kind of took me aside and said, This is almost the first man in your life I ve ever met that
I haven t thought might be gay. Because all the others have no other choice. In order
to be in a relationship with me, you have to be the feminine one because I certainly
wasn t given that. So it is about that. It s about allowing men to reclaim, allowing
them to step up and not feel like they re going to be snapped out because they ve given
up their seat on the train for a woman. Women these days, Oh no sir, I m fine. And stand
up. What the hell? m going to sit down. Thank you very much. Offer your seat, I m more than
happy. It s fine. But it s like somehow, I don t want to be seen to be weak. s this vulnerability
thing. Women one of our gorgeous energies in feminine is vulnerability. Vulnerability
for most people, they absolutely see as you being weak. But that isn t what vulnerable
means. It means being allowing, you re allowing other people in. You re allowing other people
to see the real you. That s vulnerability. That s not weakness. That s incredibly strong.
We know that when people tell the story, Oh my God! Andy Murray, bless him. Lovely guy
clearly. When he was through to the finals, the interview with him, he was stony-faced.
He was, oh yes, brilliant for everybody but there was no emotion. There was nothing. He
wasn t showing anything. Then after he lost the finals at Wimbledon and he cried. Oh my
God! What did we do? Do we all go, Oh, what a pathetic man! How completely weak and useless
is he? No, all of us connected heart to heart with him. He s showing his truth. He s showing
how vulnerable he was at that moment. And it was beautiful. And that s what true vulnerability
is. No one is going to turn around and go, Oh my God! How pathetic are you? They re actually
going, That s beautiful. You re sharing something that s innermost and truthful. And that s
actually what we want. Beryl: So, this is amazing, Jo. What I m hearing is and it s
very emotional to listen to this, is let s come to your work for a moment. I mean you
ve touched on it. It just feels like you re spearheading this because I haven t had a
lot of people doing this kind of work. You re really spearheading this. And as you said
at the beginning of the interview, it seemed like it s the right time. Energetically, it
s the right time. Joanna: Definitely. Beryl: So, can you just be a bit more specific about
your work? You touched on working with women on the stage. Would you just like to expound
on that? Joanna: Yeah. What I do is there are more and more women now who are following
their passion and that s again, a very feminine thing to do is that instead of going to a
normal, normal work, what we actually do is we follow our passion. So we might create
a business of well, it can t be anything. It might be a business about beauty or nails
or it might be about hair or it might be about energy. It might be about HR. I mean literally,
anything, anything, anything, anything and everything that we re passionate about. We
will put so much energy in. And as you know, one of the best ways to reach a large audience
is to be on the stage. It s to actually have an event or be on somebody else, at somebody
else s event where you re on stage and then able to show your message with lots and lots
of people. Now, I found over the years that most of the women who were on the stage at
the moment and certainly when I started this which for me, I started noticing this probably
five years ago, five or so years ago, was that most of the women on stage, as soon as
they are on the stage, even if there are people on stage, would stand on stage and then take
this masculine stance and go all authority and go all driven and kind of starey and scary
on stage. Melanie: Why did they do that? Beryl: We ve seen some of those. Joanna: Exactly.
And I went, Oh, why can t we be feminine on the stage? But one of the problems is that
most of the teachers out there are teaching the speaker stance or teaching the way of
getting into your energy and be in your passion. But it s all very masculine-driven way of
speaking. And there aren t many women who are being coached around how to stay on your
feminine on stage because you re not supposed to show weakness on stage, you re not supposed
to I was going to say, you kind of do things on tap. There are moments that you are allowed
to be emotional. Does that make sense? I don t mean it s scripted as in you literally,
right here you cry kind of thing. But at this point in the whole thing, you re allowed to
be emotional. Beryl: OK. Joanna: But the rest of the time, you ve got to be authority and
you ve got to be knowing your stuff and all that kind of stuff. And I just teach women
how to let all that go and how to be a lot of more trusting and how to be open and vulnerable
on stage pretty much the whole time so that you can connect with your audience because
if you do a heart to heart connection and you yourself are connected to your souls which
is your passion, the flow through is so powerful that the people you are connecting with really
get your message. Now, if that s your aim which of course it is that we want people
to get our message then it s about standing on stage and allowing this flow to happen.
And so, that s what I do. I take women who are going to an event and I coach them around
how to get connected to their energy if they ve got I mean some of them are feminine already
but some of them aren t but how to also stay there. One of the things especially if it
s their event because one of the things about doing your own event is that there s lots
of logistics. Logistics are very masculine, the making sure this is the right place at
the right time and the AV is right and the hotel knows what to do, and people know where
to go, and where the toilets are, and where to put their coats and it s all very, very
s just logistics. And logistics is not feminine. It s not at all feminine. s easy to do and
it can be done and it can be done in a masculine way to be efficient and get it done and out
of the way but if you re a woman on stage and you re worrying about any of that stuff,
you re not staying in your flow, you re not staying in your feminine. So I help women
to let go of all that stuff, to outsource, to do a lot of asking for help. It s a very
important thing to do. And to let go of the idea that, I have to be superwoman, and just
start being a superwoman and allowing yourself to be truly feminine and truly in touch with
your souls. And so, that s for stages. I do a kind of exercise through swinging the pendulum.
So we do a bit of swinging the pendulum all the way through masculine and swinging all
the way through 100% feminine so that you get to really feel what that energy is like
so you can recognize it. So you know firstly where you settle because no one is a 100%
feminine and no one is a 100% masculine but we should be as women settling somewhere on
the feminine scale and men should be somewhere on the masculine scale. It s kind of that
way. And so, when you just find out where you settle and what that feels like and how
that feels energetically to you, you know you can stay there. You can recognize it and
of course, most importantly, recognize when you move away from it. So when you go into
fear, you re going to masculine because fearful women need that sense of security and that
s where you go, you go and dip into your masculine to get it. So it s about being fearful and
then trusting that someone else will do it allows you to stay in your feminine. Beryl:
And the women that you work with, what is the process? Do you start a little bit before?
I imagine you start a little bit before the event. How does it quite work, Jo? Joanna:
It depends on the woman I m working with. There is a set kind of way of doing it. I
usually work with them for six months though. So you re right, always start before the event
because obviously, the event is the culmination of that. But often it s like four month before,
two months after or sometimes it s three months before, three months after. So that there
is some follow through as well because it s about the total package not just the event.
So although the event is very important part of it, it s not that s not the be all and
end all. It s not once your event happened then you re done kind of thing. So we do,
do some and some. And I start with working with them on their vision for the event. We
do lots of meditations, lots of visualization. We do lots of the swing of the pendulum exercise
and that can be anything from just a day in it or it can be a whole week. I can get you
to just swing your pendulum for a whole week which is really quite fun and very interesting
for those around you as they watch you do it. So all those kind of things are fun. And
also, the actual planning so we get down to the nitty-gritty of where your event is at
and how you want it to look in terms of the AV and how you want your people to be taken
care of whilst you re there and all those kinds of things. So we do, do an event package
if you like in terms of creating your amazing event. I don t do the marketing because that
s not my side of things so you either do the marketing yourself or you get somebody else
who is a marketing expert to do your marketing for you to get the people there. But I ll
help you create the energy of the event. So when they walk in through the door, the energy
that they re feeling even before you re on stage is already your message. And I think
that s a big difference with these days you go into conference, they do exactly the same
except maybe there might be a banner that s different. But other than that, they all
feel the same and then you walk in and then it s only when somebody is on stage that you
start connecting with that energy. But I think as soon as you walk through the door, that
s where the energy should begin. Melanie: You would feel it. Beryl: Incredible. It feels
like and I say it feels because it does really feel like this in me that when I listen to
you, that working with you in that way would create a really lovely synergy that male-female
balance where your mentee, your client, can be thought to be fully in their feminine because
they re allowing you and your business to support them, to do the male bit. Joanna:
Exactly. That s exactly it. So it s quite interesting because of that fact that I m
doing the male bit but I m still being feminine while I m doing it. But I m allowing s exactly
that. It s about allowing and it s about trusting. My stage, what s the word? I would say anonym
but that s not the right word. It s an S-T-A-G-E thing. What does that mean? I m showing my
ignorance. Never mind. Beryl: We don t know either so that s OK. Joanna: S for surrender,
T is for trust, A is for allowing, G is for grace, and E is for energy. And that s your
feminine stage and if you can just get into all of those things whilst you re on stage
then actually, it all flows beautifully. Beryl: And people must feel fantastic on the stage.
Joanna: Mnemonic [0:46:37] [Phonetic]. Beryl: Mnemonic, that s it, yeah. You must feel fantastic
and really authentic. And actually, I would imagine that s going to the business side
because that s what they re there to do. I imagine that the universe would as come as
the sales go somewhat better and some rapport-building I imagine would be going on with the audience.
Joanna: Exactly. I mean because of the fact that when they first walk in through the door,
the energy is already there. So they re already connecting with the energy of your message.
And then once you re on stage, your message is coming even stronger and because you re
connecting to your souls and you re connecting heart to heart with them, it literally is
a flow of consciousness, a flow of energy which means that they totally get your message.
Now, if that means that it touches them, if it s the right message for them, they are
going to make a decision to buy. They are going to make a decision to step up and do
more with you. That s what it s about. So ultimately, you re going to get more sales
when you re being like this on stage. And even if the sale doesn t happen in the room
because exactly like you said, the rapport and the connection is so much stronger than
it would normally be, those people want to continue having a relationship with you. So
it might be that they carry on dipping in and out of your website or it might be that
they check your blogs or whatever it might be, but they stay in connection with you.
And over time, we find that sales go up as well. So that s good. Beryl: You are in an
incredible niche there, Jo. And I m fascinated to see where this might go with you. We ll
stay in touch of course. And it s fascinating. If you ve got any inkling of where this might
go, any inking at all or are you just open to where Joanna: Yeah, exactly. I guess I
m in the question as we say. So just happy for it to go wherever it needs to go. And
I m doing a lot of trusting that the universe is providing me with the clients that I need
to work with, clients are popping out that are quite, well, I think are quite big names
in the industry or personal development and they re coming to me and saying, ve heard
that you do this and I d like to work with you. So over the next couple of years, I guess
I m going to be working with bigger and bigger names which is very exciting for me because
I get to really discover the truth about femininity because I know that I ve only scratched the
surface or at least it feels like that. I know so much but I also know there s such
a depth to it that I m excited because I think every single feminine is different. I don
t think anyone re all unique in our own femininity that s why I do the pendulum swing because
it allows women to find their where their feminine lies rather than saying, In order
to be feminine, this is what you have to do, because that s not the truth either. s about
discovering your femininity. It s where is it for you? How does it work for you? And
the ease that flows when you are in your feminine truth is just so amazing. You know instantly
when you hit it. You just know because suddenly instead of feeling like everything is hard
work and you re striving and you re working all the time to get things done, suddenly,
it s flowing to you rather than you going out to find it. Beryl: I think Jo, with you,
it s a case of watch this space. I m kind of being fascinated at seeing where you go
with this. And I do hope that you ll come back and share more with us as all of this
evolves, Jo. I really do because I know people are going to be fascinated. Joanna: I would
love to, yeah. I m more than happy to. Beryl: Go on, Mel. Melanie: I just wanted to add,
I suppose a final question in there because one thing I can certainly say about this conversation
is it would have been a wakeup call for quite a number of listeners about how they ve been
neglecting their feminine side. And bearing in mind the thrust of the show, we are about
being wired for success and remembering that that wiring is there. It just needs to be
recognized. What would be one first or small step that one could start taking to rebalance
these energies? Joanna: I think certainly the first one that I did and certainly it
s the one that I kind of sometimes remember that I ve forgotten, if that makes sense and
therefore go back to, is the idea of either meditation or incantation. It depends on the
type of person. Some people like to meditate. They like to be still and allow things to
kind of happen. And other people like to incant which is you create the vision that you want
and then you just say it over and over again. For me, I m very much an incant person and
I love walking the dog in the morning and then just saying my incantation over and over
again, a couple of hundred times. And just allowing it to happen because the biggest
thing around all of this visualization and incantation and knowing what you want, you
have to be OK with not getting it. You have to be able to let go of the idea that that
s the only possible outcome because that s the thing that the universe doesn t like.
It doesn t like people who are holding on to their visions so tightly that there s no
deviation possible. Melanie: No wiggle room. Joanna: Yeah, there s no wiggle room, exactly
that. So it s about I think for most of the people who are going to be watching this,
men and women alike, are probably very much they know what they want in their life already.
They ve got to that stage where they ve got their vision. They ve got their board on the
wall or whatever it might be, their way of creating their reality. And for some people,
it s then they just keep holding it. It s like this is how it s going to be if it s
not exactly like this. So it s that letting it go that things flow. Beryl: I think we
do ourselves a disservice, don t we if we think it can only come packaged in one way.
Joanna: Exactly. Beryl: It s a very limiting tunnel vision kind of thing. And when we actually
let go of that and for myself, when I thought there was only one way I could create a business,
I close myself down to lots of other things. When I was really forced to wrench my head
out of the sand, goodness me, there s a whole another world out there. Joanna: Yes, it s
exactly that. It is about just seeing, yeah. Sorry, Mel. Melanie: Yeah. No, no, no, no,
it s irrelevant. I was only going to comment on what Beryl was saying because having forced
to head out of the sand, the thing we need to be aware of is that it can suddenly feel
scary to have all this choice which is actually what you need. Beryl: Yeah. And actually,
going back to your point, Jo, about Melanie: So, was there something Beryl: I was just
going to say to Jo, when you were talking earlier about how women can start this process,
the small step, what occurred to me was and whenever you create some kind of change of
which you are frightened, you can go through a period, can t you that I would describe
as very wobbly. But I ve learned that that s not the time to run back to where I was.
Do you want to talk about a little bit about that? It s just like keep going and you get
through it. Joanna: Yes. I mean I think for me, I call it my testing Beryl: What do you
call it? Say it again? Your Joanna: My testing time. It s when the universe comes and prods
in the center of your chest and goes, Yeah, but do you really want that? Do you really
want that? And it gives you sometimes it can be just it gives you an overwhelm of other
possibilities to choose from. Sometimes it can be that it makes it so hard to move forward
that you think it can t possibly be the right way. But there is something about standing
in your truth and going, But I know in my heart, this is what I need to be doing. I
know in my heart, this is the right thing to be doing. And then the universe actually
goes, All right then, I ll give you a hand rather than stand in your way. And suddenly,
it s like you have the wind at your back. And then you just get blown away. It s just
that little bit of time where the universe is just going, But how serious are you? Do
you really, really want to do this? And it s prodding you in the middle of your chest
and, Really? Are you sure? Are you sure? OK then. And then it gives you that lovely lift.
And yeah, you just have to stand strong and that s a great time of trust because you just
have to trust yourself which we haven t touched upon that lovely little demon. We say that
women are all these independent, m going to be do everything. But it s almost like we
also don t trust ourselves to do it either. So yeah, it would be very interesting. Beryl:
I feel already this surge of feminine energy that s going to be unstoppable tsunami of
feminine energies emanating from what you re doing, Jo. You re going to create this
consciousness across the world. The world needs to be ready I think for something very
exciting. Joanna: I mean I think this is definitely the age for it. You touched upon it earlier,
the idea that everything is shifting and we know now that the way that the masculine way
of doing business which has been to exchange money for nothing for a very long time. It
s gone. That s why the financial institutions have collapsed the way they have. So it s
very much now about the new age that Dalai Lama said himself that the world will be healed
by the Western women. And this is what he means that the Western women will reconnect
with their feminine and because of that, allow men to step up and be more masculine again.
And because of that, we will rebalance the energies of the world. That s what I truly
think he s saying. Everyone kind of talks about it in business ways but I think he means
heal the world. He means that the problems with whatever it might be, the global warming
and all those things. And I m not saying for a second that it means we shouldn t care for
our planet. But I think when we re in our true energies, it s part of what we do. We
re going to exploit. We re not going to trust the planet anymore because of the fact that
it isn t a truth for our true energy. So it s like almost it s as simple as let s all
refined what our truthful energy is and suddenly, we re going to heal the world. And I just
think that s beautiful. Beryl: I heard something yesterday that in America, more people work
for cooperatives now than they do for corporations. And that to me feels like cooperatives were
a feminine energy as opposed to the masculine corporations. So it s happening. Joanna: That
s right, it is. Beryl: I m mindful of your time, Jo. We ve had some fantastic extraordinary,
inspiring information and just so all inspiring. So, we would like to give you a very big thank
you. And would like to share with people how they can find you? How they can connect with
you, Jo? Joanna: Yes. I am on and you asked me to prepare this and of course, I have.
I m on Facebook and I m on Twitter. Both of them are McCormick and I think in both cases,
I m a JJMcCormick but I might be a JoannaMcCormick so have a little look around. I ve got pictures.
You ll find me. I m a true believer that you ll find me if you re meant to. But yes, connect
with me on Twitter and Facebook. I m much more exciting on Facebook because I do a lot
more there. But now and again, I do tweet but it s the old thing rather than lots. So
Facebook is for me. You re better off there. Beryl: OK. And we d like to encourage people
to come back and comment on this episode. And there will be a little box underneath.
And would you be kind enough to come back and take a look at those comments every now
and then, Jo, and just share your thoughts? Joanna: Absolutely. Beryl: Fantastic. Joanna:
Absolutely. More than happy. Beryl: Well, this has been wonderful. And Mel, is there
anything that you d like to Melanie: Well, I d just like to reinforce Beryl s comments
that we ve absolutely enjoyed this. We know our viewers will too. I mean I felt like we
were making some kind of a heart connection so you re living what you re talking about.
And of course, as Beryl said, it would be great for you to from time to time answer
the viewers as we re going to encourage them all to make comments on the episodes. If you
re watching this on any kind of social media, then please feel free to share it with all
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https://twitter.com/WiredSuccessTV Lastly, wherever you re listening to this episode
from, if you haven t done so already, please just shoot over to our main site HYPERLINK
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by adding your name and email. If you head over there, there will be a transcript of
this episode too. We reply to all comments and suggestions and we would love to hear
from you. So thank you for tuning in. Remember to tune in for the next episode of Wired for
Success where we help you to master the seven areas of life. So from me Beryl and my co-host
Melanie and from our interviewee Jo we bid you farewell and next time. So, if you would
like to say good-bye. Copyright: Wired For Success TV 2013 All rights reserved. No part
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PODCAST_Epi_3_-_The_F_word_-_Its_Not_A_Dirty_Word
Lorina Normal.dotm Beryl Whiting Microsoft Macintosh Word Owner PODCAST_Epi_3_-_The_F_word_-_Its_Not_A_Dirty_Word
Title _PID_HLINKS
Microsoft Word 97-2004 Document NB6W Word.Document.8