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[Crackle of old film stock]
[Rousing music plays]
Narration:The year is 1978 and Supercops...
Narration: Crash and Burn, are at the height of their game.
Crash: You can't understand why anyone would want to commit a crime, because you don't have the 'mind' of a criminal.
Crash: If you did...
Crash: I'd have to kill you.
Narration: but the devil moves in mysterious ways.
Chief Rappappaport: There's a cop killer on the loose.
Crash: What? A cop killer? You can't be serious!
Burn: Yeah, that ain't nothing but some old wive's tale.
Burn: Just some dumb story that's been made up to scare kids and farmyard animals.
[dramatic music plays]
[Off screen] Militia: He's crazy! Cop killing crazy!
[Off screen] Cop Killa: I am him! I am the man who kills the cops!
Cop Killa: It's what I do; I makes them dead.
Crash: What did you see, Militia?
Militia: Blood in the streets! Fire in the skies!
[Off screen] Militia: The destruction of the PCPD!
Crash: Holy bull-mothering christ!!!
Cop Killa: Ever wonder what it's gonna be like once all the cops is gone?
[Off screen] Burn: It's just like he said: he's won, we're all gonna have to play by his rules from now on.
Cop Killa: Ha! I'm the best that ever was! Hell, I once shot a man so hard...
Cop Killa: His leg come off!!!
Chief Rappappaport: Well, I guess that explains everything.
Crash: Everything except this sensless ***.
Chief Rappappaport: ...Well, yeah.
[Increasingly epic music plays]
[Extremely very epic music plays]
[Totally super-ultra-massive epic music plays]
[Off screen] Cop Killa: That's right boys, chaos! Panda-mania!!!
[Cop Killa's demented laughter]
[contented sigh]
[sound of clock counter speeding up. Broken springs]
[Sound of massive impact]
[Police sirens drone in distance]