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Today's my eleventh birthday,
and we're holding the party
here in the banquet room at Belle's.
My mom and Aunt Loreta
did the decorations.
Aunt Gladys did the food stations.
This is the deejay stand,
where Cousin Maurice is going to be
playing his idea of top-10 pre-teen hits.
All that's missing are the guests.
Now I'm not saying this
for you to feel sorry for me,
but there's a very good chance that
none of my classmates will show up.
Whether they do or not all depends on
what happened last night
with my granddaddy
and a woman called Vivica Newby.
And if that seems a little
mysterious,
well, that's because it is.
Grownups always make such
a fuss over kids' birthday parties.
And my family is no different.
A month before my birthday,
everybody was already in
full party mode.
And I think the food station should
go right there up against the wall,
and then we'll put the slushie machine
right next to it over there!
And I'm going to put the deejay booth
right along that back wall.
Y'all going to have so much fun!
And I've already got your downloads.
I've got your Heavy D.
I've got your Young MC,
and guess who else?
Kris Kross!
If you notice,
I never contradict grownups.
There's enough drama turning eleven
without getting into personal conflicts.
And besides, they usually do
what they want anyway.
I have the perfect party theme:
Polka dots!
Yes, girl, we're going to
decorate everything polka dots
and round, even the food.
Pizzas, doughnuts
And everybody can wear
a polka dot dress or a polka dot tie.
And we'll decorate everything
with polka dots.
Does that mean the music
will have to be all polkas?
Well Maybe polka dots is
not such a good idea.
Let me think of something
I've found
a well-timed question
is the best way to
change a grownup's mind.
The invitations are
ready to be mailed!
Aren't they adorable?
"You are invited
"to Pamela's eleventh birthday
at Belle's Restaurant
at 7:00 P.M. on Sunday."
And inside,
there is a self-addressed envelope
for everyone to RSVP. What do you think?
Mom Could we add,
instead of presents,
everyone makes a contribution to
the American Cancer Society
- in Grandma Belle's name?
- Aw, baby, that is so precious!
- Gladys: She's so charitable!
- Pam: I'm not much of a hugger myself,
but it's hard to resist when it's a family
like mine doing the hugging.
As the day of my birthday approached,
plans for the party rapidly accelerated.
I really had no idea
what was going on.
Having decided
for my own peace of mind,
I simply let the grownups
have their fun.
Naturally, I assumed
everything was under control,
until last week
when disaster struck.
Forgive me if it seems
a little melodramatic,
but for my mother,
it was a serious setback.
- I don't understand this.
- What's up?
- Every RSVP says they can't make it.
- So, what, no one's coming?
They're all nos!
Well, you told me that Pam was
one of the most popular girls in her class.
- She is!
- Doesn't sound like it.
I told you her grades were too high
You've got to dumb her down some.
People don't like smart women.
Trust me, I know.
Well, I've got to talk to Pam.
Pam?
The RSVPs have come back.
- And, um
- No one's coming, right?
How did you know?
Kenya Newby is having
a big bash on the same day,
and everyone's going there.
Kenya is Vivica Newby's daughter,
right?
I remember Vivica.
She used to come in here all the time,
right after her divorce.
Haven't seen her in ages.
Kenya's mom is taking everyone to
Six Flags over Georgia for the whole day.
- Were you invited?
- Nope.
The only one who wasn't.
Mom, it's okay.
I didn't want a really big party anyways.
There's something fishy
about this whole thing.
I've just got to figure out
what it is.
- Hey, girls. You hungry?
- Loreta: Hey, Daddy.
- Daddy, do you remember a Vivica Newby?
- Vivica Newby
- Vivica Newby.
- Attractive, statuesque,
- Little too much makeup for my taste.
- Yeah, mine, too.
Why are you asking?
Well, she hasn't been in here
for a couple of months.
And after her divorce,
she was always in here.
- Vivica Newby
- Yeah, she sat at the bar,
men hovering her all night
like moths to a flame.
Wore her blouses so low,
you could see right to the next county.
Oh!
That Vivica Newby?
Oh. Yes, I remember.
Well, she's throwing a party
for her daughter
the same day as Pam's birthday.
And now nobody's coming
to Pam's party.
Now, why would somebody do
a mean thing like that?
Maybe
Just maybe
It might have something to do
with the fact that
She's a little peeved with me.
Latisha?
And why
would Vivica Newby be
peeved at you?
Because I turned her down flat.
What do you mean,
you turned her down flat?
Sexually, I
I turned her down sexually.
Both: Sexually?!
You're both grown women.
Do I have to draw you pictures?
Well, you're going to have to be
more specific.
I don't want to talk about it.
Especially to my daughters.
Well, this is not about you
and Vivica anymore.
That's right. It's about
your granddaughter's birthday,
and the poor girl's heart
is broken.
So, I think you at least
owe us an explanation.
All right, I'll tell you the
whole story.
It was about
three months ago.
And we had closed for the night.
Everyone had gone home.
I was sitting at the bar,
going over the night's receipts,
when in she comes.
Thank God, you're open.
- We're closed.
- Not now, you're not.
- I'll have your best cognac.
- Look, I'm sorry, but it's after hours.
No worries.
You're not going to let a girl drink alone,
are you?
To unexpected pleasures.
Ah. I have just come from
the most boring charity event of my life.
I can't even remember what disease
they were raising money for.
You're not going to keep
sitting down there, are you?
- This is my spot.
- You're like a leopard
Can't change your spots?
I like that.
I'm kind of a leopard myself.
Hmm.
Now, this is so much better,
isn't it?
As you know,
we leopards like to pounce
Especially when there's something
really juicy we can sink our teeth into.
Why, Bill! If you weren't so dark,
I'd say you were blushing.
I guess I'm a little
surprised, seeing as how
we don't know each other that well.
I've been coming here
for over a year now.
I hope you don't think
it's because I couldn't resist
- your baked red snapper.
- I hadn't thought about it that much.
Well
Then why don't I give you
something to think about then?
Tasty.
Really tasty.
I had the tapioca pudding
for dessert.
No, no, no.
I don't think it was the tapioca pudding.
- But just to make sure
- Uh Vivica? Vivica?
You are an extremely attractive woman.
- Hmm. Thank you.
- And I am
I am like extremely flattered
by all the attention.
- But I just can't.
- You're saying
- You're not into all this?
- I'm just pointing out that
- There's a time and place for everything.
- "Under the sun."
- Oh, you know what I mean?
- Hell of a time to quote the Bible.
Um, why don't I make you
a strong cup of coffee before you go?
- Am I going?
- I think that would be best.
Okay.
But there's one thing I need to do
before I leave.
- What's that?
- This.
Bye, Bill.
- She slapped you?
- Hard!
And what did you do?
I walked her to the door,
and I haven't seen her since.
Well, now we know why she decided
to ruin little Pam's birthday party.
Revenge.
Women can be such biotches.
So, now I think there's only
one thing for you to do.
You're going to have to call her
and apologize.
- She hit me!
- But you rejected her.
Well, of course, I did!
Look, I hardly know the woman.
Are you telling me that
you wanted me to respond?
Well, if you had,
Pam wouldn't be in this fix.
I have nothing to apologize for.
At least call her and try to
get her to change her mind.
And how am I supposed to do that?
- By taking one for the team.
- Oh!
Hello, Vivica?
It's Bill Cooper. Really?
Well, what a coincidence.
I was thinking of you, too.
T-tonight?
What time? Oh, uh
Right, right, right.
Uh, I'll I'll see you then.
Bye-bye.
- Maurice: Hmm? Mm-hmm?
- What'd she say?!
- Good news, right?
- She wants to talk to me, too.
- Yeah!
- Tonight after we close.
- Oh, that's more than talk.
- Good.
Now all you've got to do is find
a way to get her to cancel her party.
Yeah, you know how to do that,
don't you?
I cannot believe
that my family wants me to take up
with a woman I don't even know.
Shoot, it's easy once you get
the hang of it.
Dad, you're single,
she's single.
It doesn't make much for you to give her
a little something-something.
- Just a little bit.
- At least be nice to her.
- Yeah, treat her gentle.
- For Pam's sake?
Yeah, yeah, all right.
Um, please, just leave me alone
Bill, did you talk to Vivica yet?!
- You, too?
- Well, they done told me the whole story.
They're getting together tonight,
just the two of them.
- Maurice: Mm-hmm.
- Oh, well, then
Bill, look, now I know you're going to
do what's best for Pam.
I know that. I don't doubt it.
But to remind you just how
important this thing is
Look, I want to tell you the story
about a little ten-year-old girl
who once gave a birthday party,
and no one showed up.
Everyone was supposed to come
dressed as a little baby.
That was her theme.
And, so, she stood there
in her little baby outfit,
next to a birthday cake
with a little baby on it,
with green icing that she had
made herself from scratch.
And she waited and waited
for hours and hours,
'til she realized not
Not one little boy,
not one little girl
was going to come.
And to this day,
when I think about that poor little girl
standing there by herself
in her little baby outfit,
looking so cute all alone
on her little birthday
Bill, I just I just can't stop from crying,
'cause that little girl was me.
I know that little girl was you!
You've told me that story a hundred times.
- I didn't tell you about the green icing!
- The green icing was a good touch.
I made it myself!
- Can I have just a minute to myself?
- You blew the whole thing, Auntie.
You need to do this for Pam!
Oh, yeah, that's looks good.
That looks real good right there.
Now, I've got to top it off with
Be out of your hair in a second,
Uncle Bill.
You ain't the only one with
a rendezvous tonight.
But I've got to tell you, Uncle Bill,
you are one lucky son of a gun.
Vivica Newby?
As hot as she is?
You know how many guys
would kill to be in your shoes?
I can't believe you even turned
her down in the first place.
But that was kind of smooth
how you did it, though.
'Cause now you've got her
coming back here hotter than ever!
That was a smooth move,
Uncle Bill, I've got to tell you.
There are going to be two women in Atlanta
who are going to sleep good tonight.
Yeah, baby.
I know mine is, and I
- All right, I'm leaving.
- Go ahead.
Dad, I want you to know that
if everybody comes to
Pam's birthday party tomorrow,
I promise you,
as long as I live,
I'm not going to tell anybody
what you did to make it happen, okay?
- Thank you. That's good to hear.
- All right, I'll see you tomorrow.
Daddy? Now, I don't want to
have to remind you what you
Then don't!
Fine.
Gladys: Bill?
Uh.
Just remember that sad little girl
in her baby costume, all alone
I've got it!
Okay? I've got it.
- Maurice: Hey, do your thing, Uncle Bill!
- Hey, Maurice! Maurice?
- Yeah?
- Uh, you got a minute?
- Yeah.
- I've got a question.
Fire away, Uncle Bill.
How do you do it?
I mean, one woman
after another without any
emotional involvement?
Oh, oh.
You mean, why I like to flip 'em?
Flipping?
Well, in your time,
it was called "one night stand."
- You want to know why I like
- To put it another way, yes.
Well, you have to understand,
Uncle Bill, these days, sex and love
They're just
two different things.
I see.
- So, sex to you is like a sport?
- Yeah.
- Like, say, football?
- Exactly!
You want to spike your ball
in the end zone,
light up the scoreboard,
take a shower, and go home.
The last thing you want to do is
play the same team,
night after night after night.
I guess I've got a lot to learn,
being in love with one woman
my whole life.
Yeah, well,
that was then and this is now.
Trust me,
once you get the hang of it,
you're going to be
a whole new man.
- I'll think about that.
- All right, you do that,
but I've got to roll.
I've got a little honey waiting
for me at the hotel.
She's already in the sheets.
She's a little thirsty.
So if I ain't there in twenty minutes,
she'll start without me.
Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm!
- Hello, Bill.
- Hello, Vivica.
I hope I didn't keep you
waiting too long.
Oh, what's an hour
here or there?
Drink?
No, thank you.
Let's get right to it.
I have something you want,
you have something I want.
First, let's talk about
what you want.
I want you to cancel
your party for Kenya,
so everyone can come to
my granddaughter's birthday.
- Done. I'll reschedule.
- Really?
Yes. As long as I get
what I want from you.
And what would that be?
A weekend away, together
This Saturday at
a bed and breakfast in Savannah.
- Do we have a deal?
- It doesn't bother you
that I don't have any romantic
feelings toward you?
Not really.
In fact, I prefer that we keep
this arrangement strictly physical.
When did women
start talking like this?
You didn't get the memo?
There are a lot of us these days.
Women who see what they want
and go after it.
So, what do you say?
I get you for two days and Pam
gets her birthday party.
Yes or no?
- Simple as that?
- Simple as that.
You have one minute
to make up your mind.
I don't need a minute.
Good.
You can slap me right now.
Now, I don't know
exactly what happened
between Grandad and Vivica Newby.
After all, being eleven,
my imagination can only go so far.
But I know this It's way after
my party should have started,
and it's obvious
no one's going to show up.
And while I can't help but
feel a little hurt,
it's nothing compared to what
the grownups are going through.
I just couldn't bring myself to
be with a woman I don't even know!
- It's okay, Dad. I understand.
- Well, I don't. You let Pam down.
- Not to mention, every man in America.
- Well, I'm not you.
She's only eleven.
You spoiled her big day.
- And I'm not you, either.
- You could've got to know her.
All right, everybody,
everybody, what Hey, hey!
What is done is done.
Now we have to
make the best of it.
- I know, but
- Now, everybody look happy!
It's your birthday,
be happy.
It's your birthday,
make a wish now.
It's your birthday,
make a wish now.
It's your birthday,
blow out the candles.
It's your birthday,
live forever.
It's your birthday,
live forever.
It's your birthday,
live forever.
It's your birthday
Hey, hey, hey!
- She She gets it.
- Wow! What a great cake!
Make a wish and blow out
the candles, honey.
Maurice: Come on, come on.
Come on, you can do it!
One more, one more, one more!
- So, who wants the first piece?
- Jill: That would be me!
Maurice: Ooh, mama gets a big piece!
- Chocolate. Delicious.
- Maurice: That looks good.
Jimmy? Hi!
- I'm sorry I'm late.
- Party's just starting.
This is Jimmy Barnes.
Jimmy, that's my mom,
my Aunts Gladys and Loreta,
- my Cousin Maurice, and my grandad.
- Hi.
I figured you'd be at
Kenya Newby's party.
I thought it'd be more fun
if I came here.
- Would you like a piece of cake?
- Terrific.
Thank you.
- Ugh. I hate this song.
- Me, too.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
But we should probably keep dancing
a little longer, anyways.
My family thinks
we look cute together.
Well, let me teach you.
See, you keep your hand
right here on my shoulder,
and I put my hand on your waist,
and we put our hands up here.
Then we do something called the
box step, which goes up
Side Back
And to the other side.
Then you just repeat.
Pam: In the end, it turned out
not to be such a bad party, after all.
In fact, my guess is,
when I look back on this
when I'm older, like thirteen,
I'll probably put this up there
with one of my best parties ever.
Because among other things,
I learned that all you need is
one other person
to make a really great party.