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My Roommate Smells Horrible - Friend court with rob lowe

Get more of “The Grinder” and Rob Lowe! ****** MUSIC Court Room/What’s The Problem/Hack The Internet Licensed via Warner Chappell Production Music Inc. SFX provided by Audioblocks.  (****** Footage provided by VideoBlocks ****** Made by BFMP www.buzzfeed.com/videoteam Brian Cohen @briantylercohen Adam Huber @hubersworld
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- Court is in session. (inspirational music) - Plaintiff Mr. Cohen is suing his current roommate Mr. Huber for only showering once a week, and using a self-prepared slurry of avocado, oatmeal, and egg whites in place of commercial shampoo. - Alright gentleman, why are you here before me today? - My roommate Mr. Huber is on like this vegan all-natural kick and as such he has foregone all basic hygiene, like shampoo, soap, toothpaste, (sighs) he mells like garbage. - I mean you're not supposed to shower, you know, every day of the week, so I have developed my own concoction that is all-natural, with no chemicals. - And your objection with it is what? It smells bad, it's making you sick? - He smells like the last day of Burning Man. - Sir you come before the court, but what damages are you looking for here? - I'm looking for 650 dollars in reimbursements for groceries. (pounding) (laughs) (gavel banging) - No more outbursts. - Everyday. - How did you arrive at that figure? - Yeah, good. - I mostly just multiplied by two or three the amount of groceries that I bought. - So that's, the amount of avocados, pro rata? - Amortize the arbitration-- - Amortize the arbitration, the pro rata over the course of the-- - Depreciation. - The FICA, sure, yeah, that makes sense. - How am I supposed to know, if we both buy avocados, how am I supposed to know that I'm using his avocados? I mean they're all in one basket. - Yeah I have a couple questions about the avocados. Hard, or soft? - Soft, I get them whenever the ripe sticker is on them. - Thick, or long? - Thick. - Girth? - We're talking-- - Girthy, very girthy. - Very girthy-- - Yeah, little seed, very girthy. - Understood, tell me again what the other elements of this were, the avocados and-- - So it's half an avocado. - Half. - A tablespoon of coconut oil which I melt down. I process some oatmeal, put that in there and then I also use one egg. And he only eats egg whites so I (gavel banging) - If it pleases the court, and it does, I would like the defendant to please step forward and see me in chambers. (suspenseful music) (inhales loudly) - That's disgusting, it's gonna make the, you can return. - That's what I deal with every day. - Understood. - Every day. He smell's like leftover Denny's. - I have brought Exhibit A. - I got all the exhibit I'm willing to get, sir. If you stank, you are not dank. That's what they say. I watched the People vs. OJ Simpson. - Me too. - It's amazing isn't it, dude! - Right, it's good. - Isn't it amazing? - I'm kind of addicted to it. - Oh my God, how crazy is John Travolta? He's like doing a thing. - His face kind of doesn't move, it's just like - [Judge] Oh it's amazing. - [Mr. Huber] Yeah, it's really good. - How long has this conflict been brewing? - I've been doing this vegan all-natural organic shampoo for six months. - If it bothers Mr. Cohen so much, why can't you just use shampoo? - I used a shampoo face wash body wash one time, and it made me break out into hives, so I haven't trusted it since. - I'm just trying to get a picture of what the conflict is really like, beyond the terrible smell. So just that, if we can solve that then we can bring prosperity and happiness. - I never knew that he felt this way about me. - I tell him every day. - Mmhmm, mmhmm, mmhmm. - Anything further that you would like the court to know before I render a decision? - That I don't use my product on animals, (laughs) so I mean, I'm doing good stuff here with-- - Do you have animals? - At home? - Like in his hair? - I mean where? - Sure I mean there's animals everywhere. - But do you have animals anywhere? - No. - Well then, isn't it disingenuous sir, to come before this court and claim that you do not test on animals? That you just admitted, you don't have anywhere. - Yes. - Thank you. You know, the court is reminded of Joseph Stalin, who said - Of course - "You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs." - Exactly. - Perchance you-- - Can't have good hair - can't make a fragrant scent without breaking somebody else's eggs. - No you definitely can, you can use shampoo. (gavel banging) - I've heard enough the court will now render a verdict, after a moment of deliberation. (suspenseful music) The court (gavel banging) hereby finds the favor of that guy. (claps) - Woo! - Thank you that's today's business. Everyone dismissed, thank you. (gavel banging) (dramatic music)
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deicy annotated1+ month ago

Get more of “The Grinder” and Rob Lowe! ****** MUSIC Court Room/What’s The Problem/Hack The Internet Licensed via Warner Chappell Production Music Inc. SFX provided by Audioblocks.  (****** Footage provided by VideoBlocks ****** Made by BFMP www.buzzfeed.com/videoteam Brian Cohen @briantylercohen Adam Huber @hubersworld ...

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deicy edited1+ month ago

My Roommate Smells Horrible - Friend court with rob lowe

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