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FAMILY DRAMA by Shane Dawson
English Transcription Lybio.net
Written and Directed by Shane Dawson
And done.
Wow. It's perfect.
Hey when you're done trying to lick your own...
...*** come out to the living room it's family meeting time.
Ah, I'm making art!
Hey, look I can make art too.
I call it, I should of told that fat Italian ***...
...with Down syndrome to pull out.
Damn it, it's actually better than mine.
Oh, you know how much I hate parties.
Remember what happened at the last one.
Ah, Shane it wasn't your fault.
How were you supposed to know that force...
...feeding someone toliet water could kill them.
What?
Oh. Wrong party.
Anyways, it's gonna be like the biggest part of the year.
People are probably gonna die from alcohol poisoning, like, die.
That's not good.
Whatever, I'm going and if you ever wanna see me drunk naked...
...touching myself, covered in my own vomit, they you'll be there.
Oh, Shane can you come out to the dinning room...
...I made you and your brother a lovely dinner with all the fixings.
Really?
No -- eat cat *** ***!
HAH! Bulls-Eye! I still got it.
Wait a minute, this is human ***.
Hah!
Ah -- thank you both so much for coming.
You made me come.
And you made the last 20 years of my life a living *** hell!
Wow -- thanks.
Can we hurry, I have plans.
Oh, Shane, I'm sure your girlfriend can wait.
She's not my girlfriend.
I know, I meant it the way the gay guys say it.
Anyways, you know how hard...
...it's been on me since I lost my job.
You've never had a job.
You got money cause an Ice Cream...
...truck hit you when you were five.
That's not the point, Judge Judy!
The point is we're broke.
I thought we had $100,000.00 dollars in the bank.
We did, then I got a little carried away and bought a dinosaur.
You bought a dinosaur?
Have you seen Jurassic Park, Shane?
They're ***' beautiful.
Now to make us some money...
...I decided to Foster Care a kid from another country.
Wow, that's actually kind of respectable of you.
Thank you, Shane.
Money's here!
Nevermind.
Wow, you look like a burrita!
Ew -- and you smell like one too.
Okay, hurry up, come on in, you're attracting Mexicans.
I'd unwrap it and tap it.
So, ah, what's your name?
Zahar.
That sounds like Jafar from the Lion King.
Why do you wear a blanket on your head?
It's not a blanket it's a burqa...
...and it keeps me covered from evils of the world.
And you never get sun burned. Smart Burrita.
-A muslim. -Yup.
Shane haven't you ever see the life time original movie: 9/11?
She's not gonna blow up my house.
I wasn't talking about that.
I was talking about Hilary Swank's teeth.
I don't trust them.
I don't trust Musleem's either.
Okay, you sound crazy.
Listen, letting a Muslim live in your house...
...is like letting a serial killer *** you.
It's dangerous. Where is she right now?
Cause she's probably planning on killing one of you.
She's in the kitchen with my mom making dinner.
And if she' not planning on killing someone now,...
...she definitely will be after that.
These are called Hot Pockets...
...and what I'm gonna do is take one of these...
...and put it in this magic box...
...and then in 2 minutes a miracle happens from Buddha...
...and they're hot and ready to eat.
I know what a Microwave is.
Ah, she's learning.
I know I'm hungry too.
Uuu, that's one spicy Burrita.
Hey, so like, what's up?
Hey mom, where's Zahar?
I don't know I told her what a microwave was...
...and she freaked out and ran away...
...it was cute to see her run though, kind of looked like a little cartoon ghost.
You are so racist.
Shane that's ridiculous.
Whose better; White people or Mexicans?
I know the answer but I feel like it's a trick question.
So like where's your parents?
They're dead.
Oh.
Where's your father?
He left.
To go to work?
No, to get away from us.
Oh.
Zahar? Zahar?
Wait a minute! Oh!
Zahar?
Shane I had a knife on the counter, it's gone!
I think she took it.
Mom?
Shane, I swear! Where's your brother?
Come on, I'm going to teach you a traditional dance from my country.
Ah, No, I don't know Zahar, I'm not really good at dancing.
It's fine, I'll show you. Look. Go here.
-Ok. -Yes.
Oh ya.
-Ok. -Oh ya. Now put foot here.
-Ok. -Oh my god, you're so good.
-No. -Yes, you're good.
Oh ***.
Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
No!
My son!
What did you guys do? Zahar! Zahar!
It's okay, it's just a paint ball gun.
I just wanted top knock her down...
...so we can hog-tie her and call the cops.
You guys are so racist.
Dude!
You're the worst!
Me?
You didn't even try to talk to her, man, she's a cool person.
Wait a minute, she talks?
Her name is Zahra Joudi, she's 17 years old, she a Muslim...
...she came here with no family, her favorite color is blue...
...she likes spaghetti, she doesn't eat chocolate cause it makes her sick...
...her favorite movie is 27 Dresses and I love her.
Really?
-Ya.
You make me very happy.
And you make me very ha -- ha -- ha -- happy.
Oh, if I didn't have a demon living inside of me, I would cry.
Hey Zahar? Nice to meet you, my name is Shane.
And my name is Mom.
Hey Zahar, can I ask you something?
Yes, mom.
When you get your period does it get all over your white sheet.
Like, do you just have to carry around a Tide-Stick everywhere you go.
Ah, never-mind, we can talk about that later...
...I don't want to kill the moment.
Definitely, too late.
Hey, what's up you guys. There you go, I hope you like the video...
...I haven't made a short film like that in a while.
And uh, I hope that touched you and I hope that-- not like that...
...I hope I touched you, this is getting just worse...
...anyways, I hope that you like it, and I hope you got the message out of it...
...which is we are all the same, no matter what race...
...what religion or how *** up our hair is.
Alright you guys, I'm gonna go, give this video a thumbs up and favorite it...
...and send it to all your friends on Facebook and Twitter...
...you guys are the reason I'm gonna keep doing this...
...every week and it means a lot so, I love you guys.
Make sure to subscribe to my videos every single Saturday.
Oh, also a new videos on my iPhone channel...
...check out the one where Joey Graceffa blindfold me and shoves my hand in his pants...
...it's a good one, trust me. Alright, you guys, I love you. Bye.
English Transcript by LYBIO.net Turkish Translate by Mert Kılıç �