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- Hi, I'm Penny, and I'm pesticide free.
- Hi, I'm Daisy, and I'm 80 percent kale.
- [Both] Look at our veg.
- We're the co-writers of "Oh But It's Health Food Darling"
- An e-book that tells you what to eat based on crap
we read on the Internet.
- We're not dietitians, but we're Instagram famous,
so we know best.
- And yes, we are on a juice cleanse.
(sucking straw)
(stomach gurgling)
- Dietary restrictions are totally trending right now.
We can't eat any of this.
- Just two waters.
(toilet flushing)
(stomach gurgling)
(toilet flushing)
- Our new diet plan is full of disgusting foods
that convey how very maudlin and delicate you are.
- [Both] So organic.
- Now, a quick test.
Brioche, Daisy?
- Bread is dead.
- Correct.
You're special enough to have a wheat allergy now.
- Ooh, sophisticated.
- Other restricted items include: milk.
- [Daisy] Ugh, bloating.
Meat.
- [Penny] Paleo's so last year.
Candy.
- [Daisy] You do want teeth, don't you?
- Now for what you can have.
To eat.
Cruelty-free quinoa.
Vegan cupcakes.
Locally sourced air.
- To drink.
Almond milk.
Coconut water.
Kombucha.
Your own urine.
- Buy our e-book now and receive the free gift
of feeling superior.
- But hurry, it won't stay fashionable for long.
- And if you're *** dirty bath water,
that just means it's working.
- Are we done, I just, I need to...
(stomach gurgling)
- Yeah, me too.
(upbeat music)