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What the *** are you doing in Paris?
Paris is the only place to recover from a drunken party.
Hey, Want a no-frills?
- What's a no-frills? - Five bucks for a hand-job.
- Could we be a little less public? - Fifty bucks. One hour.
- Make it a little less. - Okay. Thirty-five.
- Good. - And ten for the room.
- And five for the soap and towels. - Well, that's fifty dollars!
Take it or leave it.
- Deal. - I'll meet you in the behind the dumpster in ten minutes.
- Ten minutes? - Ten minutes. I have to perform certain sacred rituals....
Listen! I do a straight ***. I don't take it in the mouth, OK?
I don't take it in the ***.
- Straight ***. - But I do a terrific hand-job.
That appeals to you more?
If you take a hand-job, I'll give you ten dollars back
What would you give back if you didn't have to do anything at all?
I'd bark like a seal.
And she would like you to give her some head.
Stop saying that!
You're the most disgusting person I've met since I started making money in this business.
You should return every penny you've made since you started in this business.
Like the car companies do?
Yes. Give a five dollar rebate for every ***.
- I do my job. - You do?
My clear, you are the absolute nadir of passion.
The most unexciting thing God has ever created.
A *** civil-service worker.
A UNION *** civil servant!
There's something not quite right about you...
It may be your nipples.
I read a book, "The Annals of Passion." It describes you perfectly.
You read a book about *** passion?
You said you don't do that. Then we may safely say you are a liar?
Geraldine is the liar. I am creative.
LOOK OUT!
when a man undresses a woman he gets a certain amount of pleasure from that.
Or, if she undresses solely for him, he gets a certain amount of pleasure from that also.
As Hyman Mandell once said,
Never let the fact that they are doing it wrong stop you from doing it right.
- Who the *** is Hyman Mandell? - I don't know.
I read that on the men's room wall at the McDonalds.
You know, you're not as bright as everyone thinks you are.
You know, you're not so talented
You know you have a gray hair?
A gray hair? What the *** are you talking about I got a gray hair? Where?
Ask Debbie.
Most of what I *** people with, I learned from you.
We learned from each other. Give me a kiss.
I have a matinee today. And I have a show to do this afternoon.
- You have so much work. - So much work.
- You look tired. - I feel tired.
- Very tired. - Very tired.
- Very tired. - Oh yes, very tired.
- You need a trip. - I need a trip.
- Where?
- Geneva. - How much?
The instructions are in the envelope.
You are the perfect example of an Aquarius!
Aquarius! Aquarians take it in the ***, don't they?
Of course they do, you romantic fool! Of course they do.
So what did you find out about her?
Well... Sandra Bromowitz thinks she may be from Belgium!
- I don't know. I've heard..
that her mother's Hungarian.
Hungarian! It's getting better.
- I think she's ready. - For what?
To without her fingers leaving her hands, both scheme and *** at the same time.
Huh...cool. Now ask me the RIGHT question
Who is she going to ball?
- She is going to ball an impotent man. - I'm leaving.
- Oh my God! - A box of poppers for the lady in the balcony!
- How's your mom? - Fantastic.
I heard she *** Jean Bonden in Geneva so well that he went straight.
His friends have asked him to see a psychiatrist!
I don't understand it. The girl was completely unknown,
and now she has seduced half of the unlikely men in Europe.
She must be completely infatuated with Doctor Love.
He's an animal! An animal! A total and complete animal!
Reminds one of a *** hippopotamus trying to play the piano.
I'm gonna get your old man off. Does that bother you?
(SINGING)
♪ Trailin' my bags behind me. Smokin' my last cigar.
♪ I wish I had her beside me. I wish I was in my car.
♪ Forty-nine crimes behind me. Fifty or more ahead.
♪ I said I'm lookin' for somethin' exciting. I'll be looking until I'm dead.
***!!!!!
Say hello to the *** Diaghilev. The Svengali of Sex.
Would anyone like to *** a stewardess?
Do you know why most people have *** problems?
They talk too *** much!
You know, I was thinking...
Can we use Timmy for the Nativity play We need him to play the Christ-child.
But Timmy's only six months old.
Well, I just hope I don't get old and in a wheelchair and have to depend on the ushers to help me out of church.
I'll give you $700 a week, cash, if you help me find this girl.
Make it nine hundred.
I'm staking out this beer bottle.
Trying to find out if I'll finish it or it'll finish me.
You're not a private detective, are you?
No
I didn't think so. I've *** detectives.
You never met a working girl before, have you?
You think I like sucking off guys all night? Maybe I do. So what?
You and I have very different ideas about sex.
Fifty years ago, in art, the *** sought to justify her life to the bourgeoisie.
Now it is the bourgeoisie who must justify himself to the ***.
Apparently your friend has gone into Mexico.
A Border Guard responded to the APB. How does it feel to have the L.A.P.D. doing your work for you?
Why don't people stay where they belong?
Man, and I thought I was *** up!
I lied too. I don't make no five hundred dollars a week.
I split with my *** split 'cause he don't treat me for ***.
Thinks he's so cool 'cause he's black. I once tried to take my clothes but he says...
'You can't take 'em 'cause they're my clothes -- I bought 'em. ' Yeah, with my *** money...
Do the police want to arrest me?
Nah. They don't care about some *** hustler.
I hear you got money to spend. (as Jake nods) I hear you're interested in... interesting things.
What you got in mind?
I want to meet Ratan.
What is that? A kind of chair? I never heard of no *** Ratan.
I was told that there were certain things that only Ratan could provide.
You're talking about real excitement?
Yeah. I heard you and Ratan just came from Mexico. And that you had a film of a girl being, ah you know...
Who told you about this?
It'll cost you five hundred bucks for a single screening.
Meet me here today at seven o'clock. With the money. Then we'll go see the film.
You ain't gonna ever have no thrill like this.
I want you to meet some people and find out whatever you can about them.
What kind of people?
Dirty. Dangerous. Tattooed. Uncivilized. Your kind of people.
How long have you been with the agency?
Two days.
You're *** me. No way. Man, that sucks.
Yeah, it sucks, but it beats jail.
You ever get punched in the face for talking too much?
You don't have *** on me.
I noticed you have three X's tattooed on the back of your neck....
Grand theft auto, reckless endangerment, and that little bridge stunt of yours makes you a three-time loser.
Now that business is over, we party.
Party ON! *** PRESENT!
You know, if you're gonna ask someone to save the world, you'd better make sure they like it the way it is.
You have a bazooka! Dude, stop thinking Prague Police and start thinking Playstation. Blow *** up!
Is not bazooka. It's heat-seeker, right?
Heat-seeker...
Okay, I'm coming in hot with a side of bacon.
Go. Go, go, go, go!
Pull it! Pull it!
Moral of the story is, don't be a ***
Is this guy gonna hump my leg or what?
Find him fast. Kill him slow.
Why is it always the *** who pass the test?
What now?
They'll send some hatchet men with his death sentence..
No way out. We must cooperate in this underground action.
And not a peep about ours. Act as if you were...
... with the Home Army struggle.- the Poland v Germany dilemma...
... not Henia & Karol's coupling.
(SCREAMING) What the ***? Nothing fits me!
and YOU don't give me a *** anymore...
Maybe things are just getting stale.
That's why if maybe I work out really hard.
Maybe I''ll be able to get a *** again
I mean, that was idiotic, though. You have to understand that.
How strange that God would choose such a humble vehicle for a miracle.
( HIP HOP PLAYS IN BACKGROUND)
Please... I want to keep my baby. They always take my babies away.
Augustus. We failed this girl. We asked her to help us catch him, and then we failed her.
Yes. But her death served a greater good. Every trap needs bait.
We know you've been trading influenza vaccine in the workhouses!
I think you should see this.
I'd use the mask if I were you
Help me. Please help... I'm feeling quite ill.
This is a civil health violation! You're going to the hell house for this.
I don't know what you're on about. I've done nothing, I swear to god, I've done nothing.
Anything you say will be held against you as evidence and, by endangering the public good, you are not entitled to a lawyer.
Where are you going in such a hurry my little ruffian? Pilfering by the look of you?
What's going on here? What'd you do to her?
Oh dear god...
Someone should flatten this cesspool and start again.
I grew up 3 streets from here. Matheson Lane. The Skrummers Workhouse.
What do my hiking boots have to do with any of this?
You know, The Brothers have requested to be involved with the investigation.
Lilly, you're the least prejudiced person I know. In fact, you're the only one I know.
(LOUD EXPLOSION AND SCREAMS)
...And then Tony said he never liked sex anyway, that sex was for chumps, and he preferred polo.
I have a can of ether! We can use that!
Excellent! Ether will work quite well!
There's no other way to put it. We have only 2 days to find the suspect.
There's no chance. Not a hope in hell.
He's right. We don't even know where to begin.
If we were all dead, problems would not exist.
...and we would be at peace.
But we would all go to Hell for our sins.
Yes, and that would be fine.