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good morning
today we're going to talk about
love
Love that lasts a lifetime
That lasts forever
I think you'll agree as we walk through the four elements of love identified in verse seven
of our scripture passage
they are contributing factors to lasting relationships be at marriage, parent-child or close friendships
once again Paul has very practical and helpful advice to all of us about these loving relationships
I'll begin reading in verse one which will help us set the context of Paul's insightful
words so please open your Bible, pull out your message outline and follow along in the worship outline
as I begin reading
I may speaking in tongues and in the languages of humans and of angels but
if I don't have love
I'm a loud gong or clashing symbol
I may have the gift to speak what God has revealed
and I may understand all mysteries and have all knowledge
I may even have enough faith to move mountains
but if I don't have love
I have nothing
I may even give away all that I have and give up my body to be burned but if I don't have
love none of these things will help me
Love is patient
Love is kind
Love isn't jealous it doesn't sing is own praises, it isn't arrogant
it isn't rude, it doesn't think about itself
it isn't irritable, it doesn't keep track of wrongs
it isn't happy when injustice is done but it is happy with the truth
love never stops being patient never stops believing never stops hoping
never gives up
we're going to wrap up our series of messages on
love today
we've been looking at what Paul has to say in
first Corinthians thirteen and
what he is saying
first and foremost in this chapter is that we need God's love
Isaiah fifty four verse eight
I will show you my love forever so says the Lord who saves us
that's God's love is not only a supreme love but it is
an eternal love
once we experienced God's love in our life then were ready to do what Jesus directs us
to do, John
fifteen twelve
I command
you to love each other in the same way that I have loved you
It's unconditionally it's sacrificially
to do that we must
carry through
the direction that Paul detailed
in verse seven
he says love never stops being patient
never stops believing, never stops hoping
never gives up
we need that kind of love because a love relationship be it husband and wife
parent or child
friends
co-workers
those relationships have to get from where they are
to the other side of what is known as the deadly D's of relationships
you probably experienced some of those D's
in your relationships
disappointed
disagreement
doubt
difficulty
depression
maybe even death
those D's make relationships difficult
messy
has a tendency to
separate people
instead of unite people
Paul
understands the deadly D's
that keeps us from having a loving relationship with someone else to last forever
that makes it to the end
Paul says there's four things you need to do
to get yourself
Through and to the other side of the deadly D's
the first thing that he says is that if we're really going to be
in a love relationship the last forever we're always going to have to extend grace
to other people
our passage says
love never stops being patient
the message says
puts up with
anything
and I'm married to you I got to put up with anything
patiently accepts all things, I like that
version a little bit better
New living translation says never gives up
why do we need a love that never gives up
and the simple reason for that is because none of us are perfect
the essential of a love that never gives up is a love that extends grace to someone
else
Now, we're not really very good at doing that
how do I know that? Because most of us have a double standard
when it comes to
imperfections and mistakes
have you noticed that?
you have
a higher standard for me
than you do for yourself, I know I'm that way I have a higher standard for everyone else
then I have for myself
and that's a very human thing a very normal thing to do
I want people to
cut me some slack when I make a mistake but
if you make a mistake
see Paul has already said you can't count up the wrongs
that someone does to you
and the fact is
I don't know about you, but my list of wrongs, I actually have another column too
I have a list where I count up all the wrongs done to me
and then have another little column and that says penalties
here's the penalty you must pay because of the wrong that you've done to me ah that's
not grace
grace keeps no records of wrongs
Paul says
but the truth is that we
we all have this double standard
we are keeping records of wrongs
the fact is
We're all imperfect
and so we need to
to extend grace to others because we're going to need them to extend grace
to us
in fact if we're not very good at extending grace to others
it shouldn't surprise us that they don't want to extend grace
to us
we need that grace
listen to what
Paul says in Romans three ten
there is no one
who always does what is right not even one
not even one
he goes on
he says accept
each other just as Christ has accepted your
and God has accepted you
unconditionally he's giving you what you need instead of what you want, He hasn't
held your wrongdoings against you
He's giving you grace
He does it make you pay the penalty He paid the penalty for you
here's a good insight
Ephesians four two
be humble and gentle in actually if you're not humble and gentle you'll never do the
rest of this verse
so if you can't do the rest of this verse go back and figure out whether you're being humble
or gentle
be patient with each other making allowances for each others faults
because
of your love
it's only because of our love for another person that we can't forgive their wrong
cut them some slack
be gracious to them
and every
substantial relationship
we'll need that if it's going to the last
for a lifetime if it's gonna last forever
second thing that Paul says is that
if we wanted everlasting love relationship with someone else
we're going to have to express
faith in that other person
now it's interesting that
the Bible intertwined faith and love
because
Faith is built as is love on what trust
on trust
if you don't trust another person it's hard to love them isn't it? it's hard to be
in love with them
because trust implies that you are
you're intimate with that person and your open to that person, you're vulnerable to that other
person
and we can all in the open and vulnerable to other people that we trust
Paul understands this
he says love never stops believing
love always trust, love never
loses faith
some people I've meet
don't want to have faith in anyone else in fact when it comes to trusting and having
faith in other people there's really only three categories in this world
category number one are those that are gullible people
and those are the people that just
think everything is good
and everyone is good
and no really, you mean that that person that sent me that memo on the internet from
Ethiopia really doesn't need the money
gullible people
they believe
everything
were so worried about being gullible that we've really pendulum swing to the other side
which is
we've become cynical
and a cynic is someone that doesn't trust anyone does it really believe the best about anyone
and we're so determined and not be gullible that we've become very cynical
and what has that done for our life what has that done for our relationships
how loving is that
the third category are healthy people
and the truth is that healthy people believe the best in other people
they believe the best
they look for the best in a relationship
with those around them
the fact is
is that we need to be treated and we need to treat others not the way that we deserve
but the way that we need
what we need
the Bible is very clear
punctuates this point Galatians five six
the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love and
how do we express our love to other people who have failed us
who have hurt us, who have wronged
it's not only about grace but it's about giving a second chance
if we really have faith in someone else we'll give them a second chance and I what
You are saying, you've come this morning and you're way beyond the second chance
you know nine ten now we are getting a little closer
and the fact is that we don't want to give them a second chance
we're not patient enough
we're not forgiving enough
but yet if we really believe that the best is possible
if we have faith in that other person if we trust that other person even a little bit
then we give them a second chance or third chance
here's a great illustration
pro-football
running back
just give me a minute
If it was a shopping illustration you wouldn't have said that
even if you don't watch pro-football you'll understand the illustration you give the running
back the ball
in the red zone which means they're ready to score and they fumble the ball
now I can tell you how the coach
wants to respond in that circumstance
squeeze his little head
I called all these good plays to get to all the way down here and you can't hold on, we
pay you a lot of money to hold onto the ball and run
and what the coach wants to do is bench him
you just sit back there
you know
maybe when I forget
I'll put you back in, that's not what a good coach does
what a good coach does is when a running back fumbles the ball
is the next time they are in that circumstance they called play for that exact same running
back to run the ball and it's very interesting
how well running-backs do right after they fumble they usually gained more yards
than the average
they usually get the touchdown that the team needs
oftentimes we wanna bench or penalized the people
in our
love relationships that aren't perfect
that make mistakes that fumble the ball
and the truth is, you
live life long enough if you're a running back and you run the ball enough plays
you're going to drop the ball from time to time
it's just part of the game, it's part of life
we let those deadly D's get the best us
and we know that the deadly D_s are getting the best of us because
we realized that
our faith in that other person
our trust in that we have had a person it's starting to fade, it's dwindling
the only thing
that really counts
is faith expressing itself
in love
A fourth thing that
Paul points out, a third thing actually is that love expects the best
what do you expect are you expecting the best
or expecting the worst
love never stops hoping, always expects the best always looks for the best
what are we expecting
I have
come to
surmise in life that
people respond to
your expectations of them
either high
or low
whether it's a marriage, parent-child relationship
relationship with the neighbor or coworker
boss
people often arise to
the positive expectations that you have for them
the holidays are coming up
that means you're going to probably be with crazy Harold or crazy Harriet
Right?
in fact you're already dreading the fact that you're gonna have to go to the family gathering
and they are going to be there
and already you're up tight about it and you're expecting not the best you're expecting the
worst
let me tell you how God works
if you expect the worst to happen in your relationship with your crazy Harold or crazy
Harriet
God is going to put you right next to them for the entire dinner
I can guarantee it
Wouldn't that dinner, wouldn't that holiday be better if everybody had an expectation that
for
Some
God reason
they're actually not so crazy
that they're actually not so rude
that they actually stay sober through desert
why not have that expectation
people live up or down to the expectation
you have for them many times in life
and having a more positive expectation
determines if a more positive outcome
now we know it's true with kids in the classroom
there's been a lot of studies done that way
new teachers have been told that they have
an exceptional class
and they're exceptional just not the exception away
and the teacher doesn't know that they really have a bunch of problem kids instead of really
bright kids and so they go into the classroom thinking they're all bright treating them all
bright and what happens at the end of the class
they perform far better
that they would have
if the teacher knew that they were all troublemakers
in love relationships we want to have a great sense
of faith
hope
of expectation
that the very best will happen
instead at the very worst I'll tell you this here's another example
how does your
spouse respond to you
If you treat your spouse like
the queen or king
royalty right you wanna to act better treated like royalty
instead of like something else
should treated them like this that's what you're gonna get back if you treat them like a king or
a queen they're going to begin to feel like a king or queen
and isn't it interesting the whole kingdom gets along much better
when the king is happy when the queen's happy right all the subjects do very well, have you noticed
that
Treat them the way that you want them
to behave
encouraged them to be
the man or the woman the husband or wife that you want them to be
and I can guarantee they'll become more like that because they'll grow up, grow in
grow beyond your expectations for them that's what love is all about
and then finally
a lasting love endures
to the very end it endures the worst
love never gives up the next few verses aren't right
the living bible says always preserves
scratch out preserves
and then the message is all wrong
uh... the message says never looks back comma
keeps going to the very end
that's a good kind of love, a love that goes to the very end a love that never looks back
at the difficulties
those deadly d's in life
It moves forward
it endures
It has determination
determination
is patients in action, isn't it?
patients over the long haul
perseverance is another very good word
and what it comes to a lasting relationships we need to be like stance
we need to stick to one thing till it gets to the end
That's the value in a stance
sticks
to one thing to the end
let me give you a another illustration
this is a business illustration
about sales
who makes the most sales in any given industry well let me give you the statistics
When it comes to selling a product to someone
forty eight percent of all the sales force
make one call or one visit
twenty five percent of the sales force makes two calls
fifteen percent of the sales force makes three calls
twelve percent of the sales force makes four or more calls
Guess
who sells eighty percent of the products
those twelve percent
that have determination they go back for five six times
when we're talking about love relationships the ones that lasts forever are the ones that
can encounter
the deadly D's not once
not twice
not three times
four or more times
because if you live long enough on this planet you'll run into more than one of those
Deadly D's, won't you?
because it's not as though there's only one discouragement in life
one disagreement in life
one period of depression
one experience of doubt
even one death
we can never love the way that Paul calls us to love
on our own
in fact I think today I really ratcheted it up, didn't I?
it's really not my fault it's Paul's
but now the bars are pretty high
Gee, I have to be
gracious and
I've got to be faithful
I've gotta be hopeful
I've got to endure, I'm not good at doing that
and the fact is that we all have our strengths and weaknesses in love and God's love wants
to fill in where you are weak
He wants the strengthen you
where you're weak
He wants to get you from one side of one of the deadly D's to the other side successfully
intact with that other person
loving our neighbor as our self truly is about loving God with all of our heart, mine, soul
strength 0:24:51.120,0:24:53.540 because when we do that
we tap into a divine resource of love that's far beyond our own human experience our own
human limitations
Jesus's desire is that we would love one another the same way that He's loved us
and we can do it
when God empowers us
when we experience personally
God's unconditional
lasts forever
love. Let us pray
Lord you know what we need today
there's at least one thing on this list that were a little
deficient in
And Lord when we're looking at the stresses and strains of a relationship there's at least
one relationship that comes right mind
And it really doesn't surprise us in this moment that were looking at our weakness and looking
at our strained relationship and wow there's a high corollary between those two things
Lord if You could give us what we need
if You can fill us with your Holy Spirit with Your love
we know that we will be better able to extend to that other person what our relationship
needs and doesn't have in this moment
Lord our desire is to love you with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength
and having done that
Lord we know that will be fully equipped
to love our neighbor as our self. Amen