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ChrisCarlson@carlsonbooks.org
Truescience@techiechicks.net
Dancingmeme@techiechicks.net
Tothineppownedselfbetrue@mac.com
Topdog22@killscreensociety.com
HOW DO I GET CONNECTED?
YOU ARE LATE
BE THERE SOON
TOLD YOU STRAIGHT
WINKING FACE HERE BY NOON
WHY NOT CALL?
YOU KNOW ME
I’M A GEEK
LOST MY CELL
LOL
THERE BY TWO
ALL CAPS YELL
WHERE ARE YOU?
GOT TIED UP
AT WORK
MY BOSS
YOU JERK
’SCUSE ME
YOU LIED
OH NO
OH YES
I TRACKED YOU ON MY GPS
YOU’RE WRITING AT HOME ON YOUR DESK
SORRY RON
DON’T SORRY ME
GO CHECK YOUR STATUS READ AND WEEP
IT’S YOUR OWN FAULT
HEY WHAT THE BEEP?
YOU’RE "SINGLE"
YEP SINGLE
BACK UP
JUST ONE WRONG MOVE AND THEN BREAK UP
I CAN’T TAKE LIES
I CAN’T TAKE YOU
YOU ALWAYS WRITE
THAT’S WHAT I DO
AND YOU ARE ALWAYS TEXTING TEXTING
ANYTIME WE ARE ALONE
I KEEP UP
YEAH?
WITH MY BUDS
YEAH
NO FRIEND YOU SEE OUTSIDE YOUR PHONE
ALL CAPS YELL
I DO SO TOO
NAME ONE
WELL-I
NAME TWO
I KNEW
IT’S OVER
FINE I’M OVER
ALL YOUR NAGGING FOR MY WRITING TO END
AT LEAST I HAVE A BREATHING FRIEND
SO GO WRITE
EVERY NIGHT
AND WHEN YOU FIND YOU’RE ALL ALONE
I HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR HUGS
FROM YOUR PHONE
MY PRESENT DAY IS DARK AND DREARY
WAITING FOR A BREAK
TO WRITE WHILE WORKING MAKES ME WEARY
HARD TO STAY AWAKE
THE FUTURE HOLDS A GRAND OUTLOOK
THAT’S WHY I WRITE SCI-FI
IF ONLY I COULD GET MY BOOK
IN FRONT OF SOMEONE’S EYES
TECHNOLOGICALLY DELAYED
THIS ENDLESS WAITING FOR MY BOOK TO GET MADE
HOW DO I GET CONNECTED?
This new book better work. They’re still pulling me
apart from the last one.
CHRIS CARLSON STOLE MY LOVE OF READING
HE SHOULD BE PREVENTED FROM BREEDING
HIS WORK SHOULD BE UP FOR THE BIGGEST DUMMIES AWARD
CHRIS CARLSON IS A NAZI
FOUR POSTS DOWN WOW THAT’S A RECORD
DON’T LISTEN NOW, JUST REJECT THEM
I’D RATHER HAVE A LOBSTER
CLIMBING OUT OF MY ***
POSEURS
THE NET IS FULL OF THEM
POSEURS
I’VE HAD MY FILL OF THEM
POSTERS WHO WANT NO MORE THAN
TRASH AND BREAK
THOSE VICIOUS SNAKES
SIT ON THEIR RUMPS
WRITING ENDLESS NITPICKS AND QUIPS
WITH ANONYMOUS NAMES
WILL THEY GET UP
TAKE THAT DRIVE AND CRAFT
NO
THEY HAVE TO TEAR ANOTHER PERSON’S FAME
And what’s with that gadget in his book. It’s like he
hasn’t seen a tech magazine in years.
It’s not about the tech. It’s about the story.
THEY LAUGH AT ME
THEY LAUGH AT ME
FOR NOT KEEPING UP WITH TECHNOLOGY
TECHNOLOGY
PHONE CALLS, TEXTING
INSTANT QUOTES
WE LIVE A LIFE ON SPEED
BUT DO THE TIES
THAT COME WITH THAT
FULFILL OUR BASIC NEED?
EVERY INSTANT YIELDS A NEW TOY
AND A STRING OF TRENDS
IN SECONDS YOU ARE OBSOLETE
AND MOCKED BY ALL YOUR FRIENDS
TECHNOLOGICALLY ENSLAVED
WITH EVERY MOMENT BRINGS ANOTHER WAVE
TO GET "CONNECTED"
HEY HONEY DID YOU SEE
THEY’RE PLAYING A MOVIE
ROMANTIC COMEDY ON THE MARQUEE
YOU WOULD SEE IT
IF YOU’D START LOOKING
BEYOND YOUR SCREEN
DEAR, DON’T MAKE A SCENE
WITH COUNTLESS SEXY NEW INVENTIONS
HOW DOES ONE COMPETE
SHOULD I KEEP VYING FOR ATTENTION
OR ADMIT DEFEAT?
WIVES FOR YEARS HAVE DEALT WITH MEN
WHO FIND THEMSELVES A FLAME
BUT WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO
WHEN THE WOMAN IS A GAME
TECHNOLOGICALLY ESTRANGED
I WONDER HOW A HUSBAND COULD BE SO CHANGED
HOW DOES ONE GET RECONNECTED
Ladies and gentlemen after extensive voting
All 3 of you
I've decide to sing the national anthem in...
wait for it
Klingon!
What do you think.
TO CONNECT WITH SOMEONE
Your fans
Your readers.
Your foe
Your spouse.
ISN’T THAT WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT
I’LL KEEP UP WITH JONESES
I’LL PRINT MY BOOK
I'LL BE REUNITED
GET MY SCORE BACK
WE’LL RECONNECT
TECHNOLOGY WILL KEEP ON RACING
SPREADING LIKE A FIRE
AS WE CONTINUE TO KEEP CHASING
WHAT OUR HEARTS DESIRE
A MILLION WAYS TO GET CONNECTED
OR TO GET IGNORED
A MILLION TIMES
TO GET REJECTED
TO GET OUR REWARD
TECHNOLOGICALLY EACH DAY
WE’LL KEEP ON FIGHTING
TILL WE FIND US A WAY
TO GET CONNECTED