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*Classical music plays softly in background*
Hello! I didn't see you there.
My name is John Ronald Reuel Tolkien.
My friends know me as Ronald.
Since I consider you a friend, you may call me Ronald.
*Professor* Ronald.
Dr. Barbato invited me here today to lecture about my works.
However, I believe in order for you to understand my works,
you have to understand my life.
I was born on January 3rd, 1892,
in the Orange Free State, now known as South Africa.
My mother was Mabel Suffield,
and my father was Arthur Tolkien.
Doctor: Breathe!
Breathe!
Breathe!
Breathe!
Doctor: Here's your baby, Mrs. Tolkien!
Mrs. Tolkien: Ohhhhhhhhhh! *Baby starts crying*
My precious!
*cough**cough**baby cries harder*
*sputter**cough*
Tolkien: I moved to England when I was three.
My father could not join us
because he had passed away from rheumatic fever.
Soon afterward, my mother was received
into the Roman Catholic Church,
where she met a gentlemen by the name of
Friar Francis Xavier Morgan.
When I was twelve, Friar Morgan took us in
when my mother had passed away of complications
related to diabetes in 1904.
At the age of 16, in a boarding house where my brother and I were staying in,
I met my wife to be - Edith Mary Bratt.
Wassup?
However, Friar Morgan forbade me of courting her until I was 21,
for he was afraid it would distract me from my studies.
In 1926, I taught at Oxford University,
where I met my good friend, C.S. Lewis.
Lewis and I created a club called the Inklings,
and we had some really good times.
*"Dancing Queen" starts playing*
But we also had some quarrels.
Tolkien: You shall not pass!
*"Star Wars Music" starts playing*
*Cool lightsaber sounds*
*Grunts triumphantly*