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I think there�s a fine line between fun sim stuff and �listen, I don�t even pee
that much in real life.� I mean, there�s a reason we play video games, right? For most
of us, it�s not to just digitally do the same things we do in real life. It�s to
do cool stuff, to have fun.
This game kind of forgets that sometimes.
The Urbz is a weird game. I mean, it tries to be the hip alternative to The Sims...which
would seem to imply that The Sims is, like, the uptight middle-aged suburban guy. This
one, though...this is the cool one. But you know, it�s like...when old people catch
on to trendy things, and they become less cool?
That�s The Urbz.
It�s about as hip as your grandma�s Facebook account.
So I guess the core difference between the Sims and the Urbz...is that this one is much
more high school. Which is to say...it�s not like you�re in a house, with adults.
You�re this kid on the streets, and you�re basically part of a clique. You start by creating
your Urb, from a pretty limited selection or Urb options. And from there, the game asks
you questions to determine what clique you belong to.
Said I was an artsy. Whatevs.
The game starts you off in this office building, where you work as a poop washer. I�m serious,
you clean up this apocalyptic deluge of bird poop. I�m a hand model in the Sims, I�m
mopping up sh*t in the Urbz. But don�t worry, it gets better. You get fired, and you end
up living in the building illegally...eating food from vending machines, and showering
in the gym.
Real nice. I�m a freaking reprobate.
So they catch you, they throw you in jail, the policeman lets you out because you answered his questions
correctly. That is, if you answered them correctly. But don�t worry about that, either. They
never change, so if you get one wrong, you can just restart from the beginning. Because
that�s lots of fun.
In fact, that�s basically the Urbz in general. All the character interaction is just these
options. Like, talk about nature, or talk about hobbies. The character will either like
or dislike this option. So to befriend people, all you have to do is just bring up the same
topics over and over and over. There�s absolutely no variation whatsoever.
Fortunately, when you�re not bored by these incredibly limited conversations, you can
play minigames. That�s how you earn money in the Urbz, and for the most part, those
minigames are the highlight of the game. They�re at least more fun than picking the same topic
over and over. And once you unlock them, you can play �em anytime.
You can probably tell I�m not a big fan of this game, though. And that�s for one
main reason. It�s way too heavy-handed with the upkeep stuff. It�s just constantly,
like, you can�t do that until you shower, can�t talk to her until you sit down. The
Urbz comes across like your freaking mom.
And this is supposed to be the hip game.
Obviously, the upkeep and the interactions are the point of a Sims game. Thing is, the
interactions are boring and the upkeep is too heavy-handed. You seriously can�t play
a minute without The Urbz interrupting you to eat or pee or watch television. And how
is watching TV a need? Don�t do that. Watch...YouTube.
Don�t play this game, either.