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(woman) AAH!
AMERICA, E PLURIBUS UNUM! AAH!
(John A.) THAT'S RIGHT. 24 COMPETITORS ARE
TIME FOR A CHEESEBURGER.
AAH!
ON THE WORLD'S MOST EXTRAORDINARY OBSTACLE COURSE.
WE'LL SEE MAGNIFICENT FALLS,
ASTONISHING SPILLS, AND SENSATIONAL TUMBLES.
ONLY OUR MIGHTIEST THREE WILL ADVANCE
TO THE MOST CHALLENGING OBSTACLE OF ALL--
THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
THE EPIC COMPETITION BEGINS NOW.
ONE WILL BECOME A CHAMPION, BUT ALL WILL...
(woman) HOW DID I GET INTO THIS?
HELLO, AMERICA, I'M JOHN ANDERSON,
WELCOME TO "WIPEOUT," WHERE WE'RE ALL WINNERS.
TRUE ENOUGH. ANYBODY WILLING TO RUN OUR SUMMER COURSE
THAT'S RIGHT. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS
ONE OF THE WINNERS WINS AND GETS 50 GRAND
WHILE THE OTHER WINNERS LOSE AND GET NOTHING.
IT IS SO SAD THAT I UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEANT.
WE HAVE 24 BRAVE CONTESTANTS READY TO BATTLE IT OUT
FOR THAT $50,000, BUT FIRST, THEY HAVE TO FACE THE QUALIFIER.
IT ALL STARTS TODAY WITH THE WIPEOUT WALL.
MM. LOOKS THAT WAY, DOESN'T IT?
WHERE THE TRAINING WHEELS ARE OFF.
AFTER THAT, IT'S THE BIG BALLS WITH A BRAND-NEW MOTIVATOR.
HEY, ANY FRIEND OF THE BIG BALLS IS A FRIEND OF MINE.
PERSONALLY, I HOPE IT JIGGLES SOONER RATHER THAN LATER.
AND FINALLY, IT'S A SHOWDOWN AT THE DOUBLE BARREL.
YOU GOT TO ASK YOURSELF ONE QUESTION. DO YOU FEEL LUCKY?
(laughs)
MM. WHAT WAS THAT LIKE?
ALL RIGHTY. LET'S KICK THINGS OFF
WITH THE THIRD MEMBER OF OUR "WIPEOUT" TEAM.
I WAS TALKING ABOUT JILL WAGNER.
YEAH, WELL, BALLSY NEEDED A SUMMER JOB,
MM-HMM.
YEAH, HE'S SAVING UP FOR ARMS.
THAT'S A SMART MOVE. JILL, TAKE IT AWAY.
IT'S SUMMERTIME, AND OUR FIRST CONTESTANT IS ON DECK.
I AM PUMPED FOR AN ALL-NEW COURSE, JOHNNY,
AND THE FIRST PERSON ON IT IS 24-YEAR-OLD BRANDE BOONE.
LET'S DO IT!
WHAT? SHE'S NOT GONNA DO IT?
RELAX. JUST BLOW THE HORN.
PHEW. SHE WAS BLUFFING.
OH, HO HO, WOW! WE REALLY DIALED UP THE DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY
THIS SUMMER, JOHN. SHE CAN'T EVEN WALK WITHOUT WIPING OUT.
SEEN AND NOT HEARD, BALLSY. THAT'S THE DEAL.
THERE IT IS, JOHNNY-- THE WIPEOUT WALL.
THE SWEEPER ARMS--BAD. LETTERS? HARMLESS. OHH!
AAH!
WELL, AT LEAST NOW BRANDE KNOWS
SHE NEEDS TO KEEP HER HEAD UP AT ALL TIMES.
BUT THIS SIDE IS EASY. THERE'S--OHH!
WELL, THERE IS THAT.
UNBE-WEAVE-ABLE.
(filtered voice) YEAH, I THINK IT MIGHT HAVE DROWNED,
BUT IT IS WORKING FOR YOU, GIRLFRIEND,
AND YOU'RE JUST GONNA LOVE OUR NEXT OBSTACLE.
WISH Y'ALL WOULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT "WIPEOUT" SIGN'S COME OUT.
BRANDE, I HAD NO IDEA!
STOP LYING TO ME.
THEY'RE NOT LIES. MY NANA CALLED THEM UNICORN WHISPERS.
(feedback whines)
MAN, SHE REALLY ISN'T SETTING THAT COURSE ON FIRE, IS SHE?
(normal voice) WELL, AMAZING THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT--
LIKE THE COOL NEW DRIVER'S ED. CHECK IT OUT.
BRANDE'S MADE IT THERE WITH THE FASTEST TIME SO FAR TODAY.
YEAH. WELL, BECAUSE SHE'S FIRST OUT,
TECHNICALLY YOU'RE NOT WRONG. OHH!
OH, HO HO! THE DRIVER'S ED IS EQUIPPED
WITH ALL THE LATEST UN-SAFETY FEATURES.
BRANDE GIVING THAT HAIRY EYEBALL TO THE BIG BALLS
WHO NEEDS MOTIVATION? LOOK AT HER!
SHE'S SO EXCITED, SHE CAN HARDLY KEEP HER WIG ON!
AY! OH, I TELL YOU,
THE BALLS LOOK LIKE THEY ARE IN GREAT SHAPE FOR SUMMER.
JOHNNY, YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS NOW--JIGGLE-ATOR TIME.
(groaning)
AND I AM NOT WRONG.
(vibrating voice) THIS IS AWESOME, JOHN.
(normal voice) I WISH BRANDE COULD JIGGLE FOREVER.
AW! THAT'S WHY MOTHER NATURE CREATED THE REPLAY, JOHN.
SHE'S GOT A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR.
ONE NEW OBSTACLE LEFT-- THE DOUBLE BARREL.
NAME OF THE GAME HERE--
HOP IN ONE BARREL, THEN GET TO THE FINAL PLATFORM.
THIS IS BRANDE'S MOMENT.
I GOTTA JUMP IN THAT?
IT'S REALLY NOT THAT HARD. IT LOOKS A LOT HARDER THAN IT IS.
CAREFUL, JILL. THAT'S ALMOST A UNICORN SHOUT.
I REALLY DON'T. I REALLY WANT TO STOP.
AND I WANT A FACE TATTOO LIKE MIKE TYSON,
BRANDE!
JUMP, BRANDE!
YOU CANNOT SAY THAT YOU'RE NOT GONNA FINISH.
DON'T DO THAT TO ME, BRANDE!
DON'T DO THAT TO ME, EITHER! I BELIEVED IN YOU!
AND I'M THE WIND BENEATH YOUR WINGS.
JILL, I QUIT.
NO!
UGH, BRANDE. I'M DONE. DONE!
I WANNA SEE A DOUBLE BARREL!
(John A.) PATIENCE, JOHNNY.
HERE'S 27-YEAR-OLD RACHEL MAURER.
HI, BALLSY.
AAH!
OHH! THAT "P," JOHNNY, STANDS FOR "PUNISHING."
LET'S FIND OUT MORE ABOUT RACHEL.
SO, UH, TELL ME, WHAT'S YOUR STRATEGY GONNA BE TO WIN?
I'M THINKING THAT I'M GONNA STAND OPPOSITE THE SUN,
(John H.) HEY, NOW. MY EYES!
(Rachel) AND BLIND MY OPPONENTS.
I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING THAT WHITE
(John A.) RACHEL "***" MAURER
GETTING HER CHANCE IN THE DOUBLE BARREL.
I THINK *** RACHEL IS REFLECTING ON
THE BEST POSSIBLE ANGLE TO JUMP INTO THE DOUBLE BARREL, JOHN.
(Jill) GOOD JOB, RACHEL.
OH!
HO HO! HOLY FISH BELLY!
(whispers) IS SHE OKAY?
OH!
(John A.) SERIOUSLY, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT SHE WAS THINKING.
*** JUST GOT TRASHED.
STILL, *** RACHEL MAURER GETTING A LITTLE COLOR
IN THOSE CHEEKS. SHE FINISHES WITH A TIME OF 5:38.
SPEAKING OF SUNSHINE, SUMMER VACATION HAS JUST BEGUN,
AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE "WIPEOUT."
OH, IT'S THE HOT, HOT, HOT SUMMERTIME.
NO WAITING, BECAUSE WHEN IT'S HOT AS A TAMALE OUTSIDE,
YOU GET TO GO OUT TO THE BALL GAME... OH, HO HO HO!
HO! CATCH UP ON YOUR SUMMER READING...
WHOA! ENJOY A BARBECUE...
HO HO! SEE SOME FIREWORKS...
(John A. and John H.) OOH! AHH!
AAH, HA HA! I LOVE SUMMER, JOHN.
AND WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED.
IS THAT MR. CLEAN?
WHAT? WHY DOES MR. CLEAN LOVE DOUGHNUTS?
YEAH. THAT'S, UH, RYAN HAMLIN.
JILL?
I'M A CYBER COP.
I DO, UH, COMPUTER FORENSICS.
WE ACTUALLY HAVE A REAL, LIVE ROBOT COP ON OUR COURSE.
HE'S HALF MAN, HALF ROBOT, JOHN, OUT TO DEFEAT EVIL. OH, HO HO!
OHH! THAT GIGA-BITES.
I THINK HIS BROWSER HISTORY JUST GOT DELETED.
WELL, IT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST. HOW OFTEN A FELLA
VISITS "LOLCATS" SHOULD BE BETWEEN HIM AND HIS MAKER.
WELL, CYBER COP RYAN UP TO THE JIGGLE-ATOR.
HIS PRIME DIRECTIVES-- JIGGLE, JUMP, DON'T WIPE OUT.
OF COURSE, HE IS. HE'S A CYBER COP.
OHH! LOOK AT HIM, JOHN.
AAH! UHH! AAH! UHH! AAH! UHH!
CYBER CRIME?
OH! LIKE GROWN PEOPLE WATCHING JUSTIN BIEBER VIDEOS.
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
WELL, HE'S GOT FIVE SECONDS TO COMPLY WITH THE DOUBLE BARREL.
OHH! WE JUST WITNESSED SOME SERIOUS ROBOT-ON-ROBOT CRIME.
(robotic voice) THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.
CYBER COP RYAN FINISHING STRONG, HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME.
WHOO! I LOVE DOUGHNUTS!
JILL, YOU GOT ANY DOUGHNUTS?
SO... ON TO SOMETHING THAT'S OH, SO RIGHT.
GOAT, MY KEYTAR.
WHAT IS THIS?
IT'S THE WEAPON OF CHOICE FOR THOSE ABOUT TO SHRED, JOHNNY.
UP NEXT ON OUR COURSE
IS ASPIRING JINGLE WRITER BRIGID SCHMIDT.
WE'RE GIVING HER HER BIG BREAK TODAY, AND I'M BACKING HER UP.
(plays notes)
HIT IT, BRIGID!
(keyboard playing melody)
SHE'S GOOD.
♪ I'M READY TO TACKLE SOME BIG RED BALLS ♪
♪ IF YOU'RE IN THE MOOD FOR A LAUGH ♪
♪ I'LL MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF ON YOUR BEHALF ♪
♪ JUST TO SAY MY NEW FRIEND ♪
♪ IS JOHN ANDERSON ♪
SERIOUSLY? ANDERSON?
AFTER I BACKED YOUR FLEDGLING JINGLE CAREER?
DON'T PRETEND YOUR PARENTS WERE PSYCHED ABOUT THAT.
LAY OFF.
I PREDICT MY NEW FRIEND'S GONNA BRING GOOD THINGS TO LIFE.
DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY, BALLSY.
SHE DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME, EITHER. OH, HO HO!
OHH! GOT WIPEOUT?
BRIGID FOUND THE "P"
IS STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN.
WHO ELSE DARES WEAR SHORT SHORTS?
WHOA!
LOOK AT THAT GIRL WITH THE DAISY DUKES ON.
D'OH.
HELLO, JILL. THANK YOU. I MADE THEM MYSELF.
NO.
NO, THIS IS PERFECT MOBILITY FOR THE COURSE.
I LOOK FORWARD TO CRUSHING IT WITH MY PANTS... SHORT--
MY SHORTS--CUT--PANTS.
(John H.) AH, THE LOST ART OF THE CUTOFF,
GONE THE WAY OF THE DODO BIRD AND THE LEATHER CAPTAIN'S HAT.
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU NEED A TAN. (chuckles)
GIVE THE GUY A BREAK, JILL. THE SUMMER'S JUST BEGUN.
YES, CUTOFF, YOU HAVE SOME BIG SHORTS TO FILL.
AND HE PUSHES OFF AND INTO THE BARREL.
HE IS SO AGILE WITHOUT PANT LEGS TO RESTRICT HIS MOVEMENT.
BUT HE CAN DO THIS 'CAUSE HE'S REALLY TALL, THOSE LONG LEGS.
OHH!
BUT THE PLATFORM EATS HIS SHORTS, AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY.
MISSED BY THE SEAT OF HIS VERY, VERY TINY PANTS.
BUT HE STILL COMES IN WITH A GREAT TIME.
OH. YEAH! BREAK IT DOWN, MAN!
YEAH, BREAK IT.
CONTINUE BREAKING.
OKAY. YEAH, IT LOOKS BROKEN.
I THINK WE SHOULD TAKE A BREAK. I KNOW I COULD USE ONE.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, UH...
THEY'RE CALLED CUTOFFS, JOHNNY.
JON CRENSHAW AND I ARE ON THE CUTTING EDGE,
LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY.
YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE FUTURE, MY FRIEND.
THAT'S WHAT I'M LOOKING AT, HUH?
OH, YEAH, I'M A STYLEMAKER, JOHNNY.
THESE CUTOFF KHAKI SLACKS
CAN TAKE YOU FROM THE OFFICE TO THE CLUB TO BEACH VOLLEYBALL
WITH TOM CRUISE AND THAT OTHER GUY FROM "TOP GUN."
THANK YOU.
STAY TUNED, AMERICA.
FULL COVERAGE OF MORE WIPEOUTS WHEN WE RETURN.
JOHNNY, CAN I BORROW YOUR PANTS? I JUST NEED THE LEGS.
♪♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO "WIPEOUT."
WHOO-HOO! SCHOOL IS OUT FOR SUMMER.
YEAH, THREE MONTHS OF VACATION, BUT THERE IS STILL ONE COURSE
GEOMETRY?
HOME EC?
NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE "WIPEOUT" COURSE, JOHN.
OHH, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. (chuckles)
NO, NO I DON'T.
THAT'S TOO BAD. I'LL EXPLAIN IT TO YOU LATER.
RIGHT NOW LET'S GO TO JILL,
WHO'S WITH OUR NEXT HIGHLY EDUCATED CONTESTANT.
ALL RIGHT, FELLAS. I'VE GOT JASMINE PRATT DOWN HERE WITH ME.
SUPER EXCITED. YEAH, I'M STOKED.
UM, YES.
NO. I MEAN, NO.
(John H.) JILL'S ALWAYS TRIPPING PEOPLE UP
WITH HARD-HITTING QUESTIONS, LIKE KATIE COURIC.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, LET'S TRY ANOTHER ONE. THAT'S--THAT WAS
KIND OF HARD. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THE MONEY IF YOU WIN?
I DON'T KNOW. THE WHAT?
(John A.) JASMINE SOUNDS A LITTLE DAZED AND CONFUSED,
(air horn blows)
MAYBE NOT REALLY.
HORNS CAN BE CONFUSING, YOU KNOW?
DO IT NOW?
ACTUALLY ABOUT 10 SECONDS AGO, BUT NOW WORKS.
DAZED AND CONFUSED JASMINE'S LOCKED IN NOW.
BALLSY STILL EARNING HIS CASH ON THE CORNER. OH, HO HO!
BALLSY, WHAT DID I TELL YOU
ABOUT LAUGHING AT OTHERS' MISFORTUNE?
(laughs)
IT NEEDS TO COME FROM THE GUT. WATCH ON THE SMASH CAM.
(laughs)
DAZED AND CONFUSED JASMINE READY TO GET BEHIND THE WHEEL.
(drawling) HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
WATCH THE LEATHER, MAN. THAT'S NEW UPHOLSTERY.
(normal voice) OHH! SHE HITS THE GAS, AND THE GAS HITS BACK.
JASMINE GETTING A LOOK AT THE BIG BALLS.
SHE'S MESMERIZED BY OUR MOTIVATOR LIKE IT'S A LAVA LAMP.
SHE OUTSMARTS IT. MAYBE SHE'S A MOTIVATOR SAVANT. OH, HO HO!
YEAH, I DOUBT IT.
(drawling) THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THE BIG BALLS, JOHN.
I KEEP GETTING OLDER, AND THEY STAY THE SAME.
DAZED AND CONFUSED JASMINE PERPLEXED BY THE JIGGLE-ATOR.
YOU THOUGHT WALKING AND CHEWING GUM WAS HARD. TRY JIGGLING.
OHH!
DAZED AND CONFUSED JASMINE WASN'T DISORIENTED BEFORE,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
WALL-E...
WALL-E? SHE'S CONFUSED AGAIN.
(normal voice) NO, SHE'S NOT. DON'T YOU SEE THE RESEMBLANCE?
IT'S MY UNCLE WALLY. HE'S HAD PINKEYE FOR THE LAST 12 YEARS.
WHY DO YOU NEVER INTRODUCE ME TO YOUR FAMILY?
ARE YOU ASHAMED OF ME?
AAH!
CLOSEST ONE YET.
OH, WELL.
AMEN, BROTHER! I HATE BRAINS!
JASMINE POSTS AN ALL-GOOD TIME OF 4 MINUTES, 50 SECONDS.
YEAH! WHOO!
(drawling) RIGHT ON, MAN.
EMANUEL ROBINSON,
WHOO! GOT TO KEEP MY PERM DRY!
THAT'S GREAT ADVICE, JOHN.
MY NANA'S ACTUALLY GOT THAT STITCHED ON A PILLOW.
EMANUEL'S OFF. I DON'T KNOW IF ANYBODY'S ACTUALLY BEEN
SUCCESSFUL AT STAYING DRY AND WELL-COIFFED ON THIS COURSE.
OHH!
UH, THE REST OF HIS BODY-- EH, NOT SO MUCH.
YEAH, THAT WAS NOT PRETTY.
I DON'T KNOW. I THOUGHT THE GIRLISH SCREAM WAS LOVELY.
JILL, GIVE US MORE HERE.
OH, THANK YOU.
HEAD TO TOE, HEAD TO TOE.
YEAH, BUT I DON'T SAY "PERM." I SAY "RELAXER." IT'S MY SECRET.
(John H. whispers) I THINK EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR SECRET NOW.
YES, I DO. GOT TO STAY SMOOTH, ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. SMOOTH.
(John H.) WOW, JILL. THIS GUY IS DAPPER.
HE'S LIKE A DON DRAPER/JOE JONAS HYBRID, AND HE'S MAKING A SOUND
WHOO!
WHOO!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH HE IS, JOHN.
HE'S EVEN RELAXER-ING IN THE DOUBLE BARREL.
OHH!
YEAH, HE SHOULD HAVE WAITED FOR AN INVITATION.
HOPE HE DIDN'T MAKE THAT KIND OF ENTRANCE AT THE ROYAL WEDDING.
OF COURSE NOT, JOHN.
(belching)
(John H.) AND ORIFICE.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GENTLEMAN.
(belches)
BACK AT THE TOP OF THE COURSE IS 25-YEAR-OLD EMILY KOOIMAN.
MY FAVORITE HOST IS JILL!
JILL?! COME ON, MAN.
WHAT'S A HOST GOT TO DO TO GET A LITTLE LOVE?
SO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR SPECIAL SKILLS.
UM, I'M REALLY-- GOT WEIRD JOINTS.
LIKE, THE ARMS TWIST AROUND. GET READY. FORWARD...
(John H.) REALLY? HOW FAR CAN THEY TWIST?
AW! I CAN'T WATCH. I CAN'T.
NOT GONNA LOOK AT THAT.
HERE'S LEFT.
(John H.) WOW. I WANT TO TAKE A PICTURE AND BARF,
CRAZY ARMS EMILY HEADED RIGHT FOR THIS WIPEOUT WALL. OHH!
AAH! BUT THAT WAS INSANE. TOO BAD SHE'S NOT DOUBLE-JOINTED
EVEN THE CRAZIEST ARMS, JOHNNY, CAN'T OVERCOME
WHAT UP, BALLSY? I'M FAST LIKE A CHEETAH!
SPEED WON'T HELP YOU NOW.
BALLSY WILL TRY TO PUMP YOU UP...
BUT THE WIPEOUT WALL WILL JUST KNOCK YOU DOWN.
HEY, GUYS, DOES BALLSY LOOK A LITTLE HOT TO ANYONE?
HI!
WELL, THERE ARE THOSE WHO FIND HIM GOOD-LOOKING, JILL. OHH!
BUT THE WIPEOUT WALL TENDS TO HOG THE SPOTLIGHT.
I THINK HE GOT A LITTLE OVERHEATED.
(coos)
MM? (coos)
NEED SOME GRAPES OVER HERE!
WHILE JILL DEMANDS GRAPES, LET'S CALL FOR OUR NEXT CONTESTANT.
HEY, AM I CRAZY, OR DOES HE LOOK
YES, AND YES.
WELL, HE'S ON, AND HE IS SHAKING
AH!
OH, HO HO! ZOINKS! HE JUST GOT ***-SMACKED.
HE MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT, TOO,
LET'S LEAVE SHAGGY OUT HERE TO DOG-PADDLE,
AND GO TO OUR FINAL CONTESTANT OF THE DAY,
COSMETIC DENTIST JIMMY MATTINGLY.
MAYBE HE WILL.
OOH, DUCKS UNDERNEATH THE "P"!
OHH, AND JUST CLIPPED BY THE "U."
JIMMY ALMOST AVOIDS THE "U,"
THAT'S HIS JOB, JOHNNY.
WELL, HE IS MORE THAN A GUY WHO GETS TO PUT HIS FINGERS
IN STRANGE PEOPLE'S MOUTHS, JOHN. HE'S ALSO GREAT AT TENNIS,
HE'S HAPPILY MARRIED, AND HE IS HANDLING THE DRIVER'S ED
THIS GUY'S THE TOTAL PACKAGE.
AND I BET HE'S IN ONE OF THOSE CLUBS THAT KEEPS REJECTING ME.
OHH! THE BIG BALLS REJECT HIM.
NO ONE DOES THAT TO "TOTAL PACKAGE" JIMMY MATTINGLY.
NO.
PRONOUNCE THE "T's."
NO, THOSE ARE "D's."
OHH, BEAUTIFUL.
(John A.) JOHNNY...
WHAT? WELL, JIMMY THE TOTAL PACKAGE
MAKING A PERFECT LEAP INTO OUR DOUBLE BARREL.
HIS UNUSUALLY LARGE HEAD IS HELPING HIM WITH HIS BALANCE.
MAN! THERE IS NOTHING HE CAN'T DO.
OH, HO HO! WELL, ALMOST NOTHING.
TOTAL PACKAGE DOESN'T HAVE QUITE ENOUGH TO HANG ON.
BUT EVEN WITH A COUPLE OF MISSTEPS,
TOTAL PACKAGE COMES IN WITH THE FASTEST TIME OF THE DAY,
SO HE'LL BE GRABBING A MARTINI AND MOVING ON,
ALONG WITH *** RACHEL MAURER, CYBER COP RYAN HAMLIN,
(Brigid) ♪ "WIPEOUT," HERE I COME ♪
ALSO ADVANCING--DAPPER GENT EMANUEL ROBINSON...
(Emanuel) GOT TO BE SMOOTH.
SHAGGY JOSH JORDAN, AND CRAZY ARMS EMILY KOOIMAN.
WHEN WE RETURN, WE'LL GO FROM 12 TO 6,
RIGHT AFTER THESE WORDS.
♪♪♪
WE ARE BACK FOR MORE OF THIS WARM SUMMER DAY ON "WIPEOUT."
AND THE LIVING IS EASY,
UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU HAPPEN TO BE ONE OF OUR CONTESTANTS.
YEP, AND STILL IN IT,
WE HAVE *** RACHEL MAURER, CUTOFFS JON CRENSHAW,
(Jasmine) YES. NO. I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW.
ALSO STILL IN THE GAME,
WE HAVE THE DAPPER GENT EMANUEL ROBINSON,
EMILY "CRAZY ARMS" KOOIMAN,
(Jimmy) ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?
ANDERSON, CHECK IT OUT. IT'S AN OPTICAL ILLUSION.
MM-HMM.
BUT THEN I TAKE A FEW STEPS BACK... NORMAL.
LOOK...
WYOMING...
NORMAL!
THAT IS TRULY AMAZING.
I KNOW! JUST IMAGINE THE WIPEOUTS WE'D GET
IF WE USED OPTICAL ILLUSIONS INSTEAD OF OBSTACLES.
THAT I DON'T GET.
EXACTLY. NEITHER WILL THE CONTESTANTS
WHEN THEY FACE... THE ILLUSIONATOR.
CONTESTANTS MUST BEGIN ON BEWILDERINGLY COLORED PEDESTALS
TOWERING 10 WHOLE FEET ABOVE THE ICY WATER,
AS ROTATING ORBS, VISIBLY SUSPENDED IN MID-AIR,
CHALLENGE THEIR VERY PERCEPTION OF SPACE AND TIME.
DUCK THE MYSTICAL ORBS, AND YOU VANISH. GET KNOCKED
TO ANOTHER DISORIENTINGLY TECHNICOLOR PEDESTAL,
AND YOU MUST TIME-TRAVEL BACK
WHOO-HOO!
SO THEY NEED TO STAND ON THE PLATFORMS,
YEP, PRETTY MUCH--
ALL WHILE STRUGGLING TO RETAIN THEIR GRASP ON REALITY.
AND YOU'RE SORT OF AN EXPERT THERE.
YEAH. THE SIX THAT SURVIVE WILL MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ROUND,
AND THE LAST ONE STANDING WILL RECEIVE A 100,000-PENNY BONUS.
YOU MAKE THAT SOUND LIKE A LOT BIGGER DEAL THAN IT REALLY IS.
MM.
WHAT THE HECK.
NAH, I'M GOOD. LET'S JUST, YOU KNOW, START UP THE DEALY-BOB.
DAZED AND CONFUSED DOESN'T KNOW WHICH WAY IS UP.
OH, WE ARE?
(Jon) OTHER LEFT.
ALSO KNOWN AS "RIGHT"?
UH-OH! CUTOFFS!
I THINK WE ALL ARE.
SMOKE WHAT? WHOA! IS THAT A GENIE?
I HAD NO IDEA THE ILLUSIONATOR WAS AMONG US.
JOHN, THAT'S GLENN PINTO.
HE SLIPPED THROUGH THE FIRST ROUND UNSEEN.
IT MUST HAVE BEEN AN ILLUSION.
BEHOLD! THE ILLUSIONATOR SPRINGS TO LIFE!
(Glenn) ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
YOU CAN LAUGH, BUT THERE'S ABOUT TO BE A WHOLE BOATLOAD
OF HOCUS-POCUS UP IN HERE. WHAT, WHAT!
ALL RIGHT, THEY'RE MOVING... OR ARE THEY?
JUST WAIT UNTIL THE RINGS DO THEIR MAGIC ON THE GENIE.
(man) SEE YA!
OHH, THE GENIE QUICKLY RUBBED OUT,
AND HE WIPES OUT A GUY NAMED DE HANKINS. THE GENIE VANISHES.
BRIGID THE JINGLER ON CYBER COP'S PLATFORM.
SHE'LL NEED TO GET BACK.
JASMINE'S DAZED AND TOO CONFUSED TO MOVE.
NO, THAT WAS A CONTESTANT, JOHNNY.
SHAGGY JOSH HANGS ON
TOTAL PACKAGE THROWING HIMSELF
AT CRAZY ARMS' FEET, OFFERS HER A RING. SHE TURNS IT AWAY.
IS SHE CRAZY? DOESN'T SHE KNOW HOW TOTAL HIS PACKAGE IS?
GET BACK ON YOUR PEDESTAL!
*** RACHEL THINKS SHE CALLS THE SHOTS,
BUT THE ILLUSIONATOR WILL DETERMINE THE NEXT TWO PEOPLE
TO DISAPPEAR, AND THEN WE'LL HAVE OUR TOP SIX.
JOHNNY, CYBER COP RYAN
DETERMINED TO BREAK UP THE RINGS.
UH-OH. HOPE HE BROUGHT BACKUP.
OHH! CYBER COP SHUT DOWN. DAZED AND CONFUSED THROUGH...
AND SHAGGY JOSH...
AH! HE'S GONE.
THERE'S THE HORN, AND, JOHNNY, THAT--WHOA!
IS HOW YOU GET A TOP SIX.
HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE LEFT?
WELL, SHE DOESN'T COUNT.
THE GENIE WAS KNOCKED OUT WHEN HE TRIED TO WISH
(man) SEE YA!
THEN GENIE, WHO MADE THIS GUY APPEAR,
SENT HIM BACK INTO THE WATER. CUTOFFS GOT PANTSED.
HEY! THOSE ARE WOMEN'S JEANS! THE GREEN RING POPPED OUT
A LITTLE DOUGHNUT HOLE, BUT IT GOT QUICKLY DUNKED,
(man) DOUGHNUTS.
OHH!
LOOKING AHEAD, JOHNNY, LET'S DISCUSS THE FINAL SIX
COMPETING FOR THAT $1,000. WE HAVE *** RACHEL,
COME ON! FALL OFF, PEOPLE!
UGH.
$1,000! COME ON, BABY! LET'S GO!
WELL, JINGLER, TO GET THE 1,000 BUCKS, YOU HAVE TO
OW! THAT RING PLOWS INTO JINGLER.
DAZED AND CONFUSED IS COOL.
JINGLER SURVIVES AND RETREATS TO HER STARTING SPOT.
WHOO!
OOH!
THAT'S NO ILLUSION, JOHNNY.
THERE'S A DAPPER GENT ON THOSE RINGS.
FANTASTIC ABILITY, TERRIBLE MOVE.
NOPE, YOU'RE OUT.
(man) OH MY GOD.
MADE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO GET BACK TO HIS PLATFORM
FIVE CONTESTANTS LEFT,
OH, MY GOD! THEY'RE COMING FOR ME!
THEY ARE COMING SO FAST!
OHH, THE JINGLER GOING PLOP, PLOP, FIZZ, FIZZ.
OOH, THE ILLUSIONATOR GIVING OUR FINAL FOUR
YOU NEED EYES IN THE BACK OF YOUR--OH, HO HO! HEAD.
MM! CRAZY ARMS ELBOWED OUT OF CONTENTION.
*** RACHEL GETTING BY, DOING THE BARE MINIMUM.
WHY NOT, ***? EVERYONE LIKES AN ILLUSION...
UNTIL IT HITS YOU IN THE FACE. OH, HO!
OOH! DAZED AND CONFUSED GOES DOWN.
2 LEFT COMPETING FOR THE 1,000 BUCKS.
TOTAL PACKAGE WELCOMES THE CHANCE TO SHOW OFF.
OH, YEAH. COMES THROUGH.
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, ***.
(man) LOOK OUT!
AW! YOU'RE KILLING ME, ***! YOU'RE KILLING ME!
THAT MEANS JIMMY THE TOTAL PACKAGE JUST WON 1,000 BUCKS.
AND JOINING JIMMY "THE TOTAL PACKAGE" MATTINGLY
IN THE NEXT ROUND, THERE'S RACHEL "***" MAURER,
DAZED AND CONFUSED JASMINE PRATT,
THE JINGLER BRIGID SCHMIDT, EMILY "CRAZY ARMS" KOOIMAN,
AND DAPPER GENT EMANUEL ROBINSON.
BUT BEFORE THEY GET A SHOT AT THE WIPEOUT ZONE,
ONE MORE OBSTACLE STANDS IN THEIR WAY.
♪♪♪
WE ARE BACK ON SUMMER "WIPEOUT."
24 FACED THE DANGERS OF THE WIPEOUT COURSE TODAY,
AND ONLY SIX REMAIN IN THE BATTLE
FOR A SPOT IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE, AND THEY ARE
THE TOTAL PACKAGE JIMMY MATTINGLY,
RACHEL "***" MAURER,
(Jasmine) YES. NO. I MEAN, NO. I DON'T KNOW.
WE ALSO HAVE OUR JINGLER BRIGID SCHMIDT,
EMILY "CRAZY ARMS" KOOIMAN,
(Emanuel) GOT TO BE SMOOTH.
I LOVE SUMMER, JOHN.
MM-HMM.
AND TO CELEBRATE, I AM EXCITED TO OFFER OUR CONTESTANTS
A CHANCE TO TEST OUT
THE NEWEST PRODUCT FROM WIPEOUT TOYS INCORPORATED.
OH, REALLY?
WELL, THEN WHY DID I HAVE THESE BUSINESS CARDS PRINTED UP, HUH?
THEY'RE NOT PRINTED. THEY'RE HANDWRITTEN.
WHATEVER. LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT WORKS. THE WIPEOUT PLAY SET
HAS THREE ROUNDS, ALL STARTING OFF WITH A RIDE
ON THE SAFE AND DURABLE SWING-A-LONG SWING SET,
WHERE CONTESTANTS MUST
TRY TO SWING THEIR BODIES ONTO THE SPINNING PLATFORM.
UP NEXT, THEY'LL TAKE A TWIRL
ASTRIDE EACH OF THESE CHARMING SWEEPER STOPS,
MAKING IT FROM ONE TO THE OTHER AS THEY ROTATE AROUND
AT ALARMING SPEEDS. THEN THERE'S THE FINAL OBSTACLE,
CHUTES AND SPLATTER. SLIDE DOWN AND AVOID GETTING WHAPPED
BY THE WINDMILL ON THE WAY TO THE FINISH PLATFORM.
THE WIPEOUT PLAY SET COMES FULLY ASSEMBLED
AND SMELLS LIKE VANILLA.
SIDELINE REPORTING ACTION FIGURE SOLD SEPARATELY.
(chuckles)
WELL, THEN LET'S WIND IT UP AND WATCH IT GO.
(contestants cheering)
FREAKING OUT, MAN.
I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE. (cries)
OH, COME ON. YOU'RE NOT THAT YOUNG, JINGLER.
THIS LOOKS MORE FUN FROM MY COUCH.
TOTAL PACKAGE JIMMY TOYING WITH THE COMPETITION.
(woman) YOU BETTER STOP.
YOU'RE BOUNCING.
IT'S CALLED MENTAL INTIMIDATION.
DAZED AND CONFUSED DOESN'T CARE, JOHN,
BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND.
(air horn blows)
THIS IS GONNA BE BRUTAL.
NO OTHER SHOW BRINGS YOU SUCH HARD-CORE SWINGING ACTION.
(swings squeaking)
MAN, THE INTENSITY IS SO THICK, YOU COULD CUT IT WITH A SPORK.
(Rachel) AAH! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT.
YAH, HA!
THE DAPPER GENT OFF ONE, ONTO ANOTHER.
OHH! TOTAL PACKAGE ALWAYS LOOKING SO GOOD,
LEADS THE WAY TO THE FIRST SWEEPER STOP. EESH!
OH, HO! THE JINGLER'S FACE IS A LITTLE CATCHY
TOTAL PACKAGE ADVANCING--
OHH!
DAPPER GENT EMANUEL CATCHING UP AT THE FIRST SWEEPER STOP.
DAPPER GENT USED TO BEING SHOWN TO HIS SEAT, JOHNNY.
THERE HE IS, DOING THE POLITE THING,
AAH! AAH! AAH!
(bell dings)
OH, HO HO HO!
ANOTHER MISSED OPPORTUNITY.
MEANWHILE, THE LADIES--
THEY'RE STILL JUST HANGING OUT BACK ON THE SWING SET.
(scoffs) CHICKS.
THEY'RE PROBABLY JUST TALKING ABOUT BOYS AND SALAD.
AAH!
OHH! MISSED IT BY AN APPENDAGE.
OUR MAN DAPPERGENT FINALLY MAKING IT OFF THE SWEEPER ARM.
HE'S HEADED TOWARDS THE NEXT SWEEPER STOP NOW.
CONFIDENTLY BACK ON... AND EFFORTLESS ON THE DISMOUNT.
OH, GOD. OH, GOD.
GOOD JOB, EMANUEL.
IT'S A SLIDE. YOU SLIDE.
YOU AVOID THE WINDMILL.
HE MIGHT WANT TO HURRY, JOHNNY, BECAUSE RIGHT ON HIS HEELS IS...
AAH!
AAH!
ABSOLUTELY NOBODY. THERE GOES THE DAPPER GENT.
OOH, HO!
OHH!
WHOO! WHOO!
DAPPER GENT-- NO WIPEOUTS ON HIS RUN--
IS THE FIRST TO MAKE IT TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
(Jill) GOOD JOB! EMANUEL, YOU JUST MADE THAT LOOK EASY.
(moans) MY LEGS--
I THANK MY MOTHER AND MY FATHER FOR MY LEGS!
JOHNNY, LET'S START ROUND TWO.
THIS THING'S HAULING.
YEP. IT'S HAULING. LOOK ALIVE, DAZED AND CONFUSED.
(air horn blows)
I HAVEN'T SEEN SWINGING THIS COMPETITIVE
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL?
TOTAL PACKAGE JIMMY WANTS YOU TO KNOW
(woman) HE MAKES IT LOOK SO EASY.
MAKING THINGS LOOK EASY IS PART OF THE PACKAGE,
AND SO IS A CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST.
OHH!
HIGH-FLYING DAZED AND CONFUSED
SOARS OVER TO THE SPINNING PLATFORM.
TOTAL PACKAGE SHOWBOATING ON THAT SWEEPER ARM.
OH, HO HO!
TOTAL PACKAGE WATCHES THE PLATFORM SPIN BY HELPLESSLY.
DAZED AND CONFUSED COULD SNEAK AHEAD.
OHH, AND TOTAL PACKAGE KEEPS HIS LEAD.
OOH!
AAH!
TOTAL PACKAGE WITH A TIGHT GRIP ON THAT SECOND SWEEPER ARM.
HERE HE COMES IN. OH, YEAH. PERFECT LANDING.
DAZED AND CONFUSED BACK ON THE SWEEPER ARM,
YEAH, TOTAL PACKAGE GOES FOR IT.
OH, HO HO! SPLIT IN TWO!
MM. TAKE ANOTHER LOOK.
TOTAL PACKAGE KISSING HIS HAMSTRING GOOD-BYE.
DAZED AND CONFUSED NOW WITH HER CHANCE TO SLIDE INTO THE ZONE.
OHH!
GOOD THING SHE WON'T REMEMBER IT ANYWAY, BLESS HER HEART.
TOTAL PACKAGE RECOVERS, BACK AND READY TO SLIDE. LOOK OUT,
DAZED AND CONFUSED APPEARING OUT OF NOWHERE. WHO'S IT GONNA BE?
TOTAL PACKAGE, NOT ONE TO BE BESTED, SHOOTS THE MOON.
AND THE CAMERAMAN SHOOTS HIS MOON.
LOOK AT THAT WEDGIE.
I DID, DAPPER GENT, AND I WISH I COULD UN-LOOK.
WELL, DAZED AND CONFUSED STILL HAS ONE MORE OPPORTUNITY, AND IT
LOOKS LIKE TOTAL PACKAGE--HE HAS LOST A BIT OF HIS SWAGGER.
NOW IT'S DOWN TO CRAZY ARMS, ***, DAZED AND CONFUSED,
AND THE JINGLER. ONE OF 'EM'S GOING TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
LIKE YOUR ODDS, MY FRIEND.
(air horn blows)
I'M NOT FARTING. THAT'S JUST MY SEAT.
SURE IT IS.
ALL RIGHT, IT'S UP TO THESE LADIES TO
SWING THEMSELVES INTO THE ZONE. THERE'S CRAZY ARMS. OHH!
THERE'S JINGLER.
DAZED AND CONFUSED ALSO AIRBORNE, AND BOTH ARE SAFE.
WHO'S GONNA MAKE THE FIRST MOVE, JOHNNY?
DAZED AND CONFUSED LOOKING ODDLY SHARP AND MOTIVATED.
JINGLER SEARCHING FOR INSPIRATION.
DAZED--AN AGGRESSIVE MOVE,
AND SHE IS HALFWAY TO CHUTES AND SPLATTERS.
OHH!
OHH! JUST DIDN'TDO IT.
DAZED AND CONFUSED HAS A SPIN.
OHH, SHE IS SHOELESS AND CLUELESS.
ONLY ONE SHOE NOW, BUT WHO NEEDS TWO?
ALL THAT HASSLE, WITH THE BIG LOOP, AND THE LITTLE LOOP...
YEAH! NICE RECOVERY,
AND A REUNION WITH CHUTES AND SPLATTERS.
NOT WORRYING ABOUT THAT SHOE, STEPPING UP.
DAZED AND CONFUSED PULLS THE TRIGGER.
OHH, HO HO!
OHH, HO! AND MISSES BADLY!
OKAY, THERE'S CRAZY ARMS. SHE SAILS OVER
TO THE SPINNING PLATFORM. TIME'S RUNNING OUT FOR HER,
AS DAZED AND CONFUSED CLIMBS THAT LADDER BACK TO THE SLIDE.
CRAZY ARMS WITH SOME FANCY FOOTWORK. AND SHE MAKES IT!
WHO NEEDS ARMS, JOHNNY?
DAZED AND CONFUSED TRYING TO END THE SUSPENSE RIGHT HERE.
OHH! JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH HEIGHT ON THAT SLIDE.
CRAZY ARMS IS GETTING INSANELY CLOSE.
OHH! SHE JUST MISTIMES IT,
GIVES DAZED AND CONFUSED A LITTLE BREATHING ROOM NOW.
THIRD TRY NOW, LOOKING A LITTLE UNCERTAIN.
BUT THEN AGAIN, SHE ALWAYS DOES, JOHN.
HERE SHE GOES. GET UP, GET UP! YEAH!
YEAH! DAZED AND CONFUSED HAS FINALLY HAD A MOMENT OF CLARITY.
AND THAT'S ENOUGH THINKING FOR A WHILE.
AND WITH THAT, DAZED AND CONFUSED JASMINE PRATT
WILL BE HEADING TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
JOINING HER THERE-- DAPPER GENT EMANUEL ROBINSON
AND THE TOTAL PACKAGE JIMMY MATTINGLY.
STICK AROUND.
ONE OF THESE LUCKY CONTESTANTS IS ABOUT TO SNAG 50 GRAND
IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
♪♪♪
WE ARE BACK ON "WIPEOUT," AND JOHNNY, THIS IS IT.
OUR THREE FINALISTS ARE ABOUT TO FACE DOWN
THE FINAL CHALLENGE.
THAT'S RIGHT. THERE'S $50,000 ON THE LINE,
AND JUST ONE THING STANDING IN THEIR WAY--THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
IT'S MADE UP OF THE FOLLOWING STAGES.
IT STARTS WITH THE TOWERING FLUME OF DOOM,
A BREATHTAKING 7-STORY PLUMMET
AND LAUNCH DEEP INTO THE WATERS OF THE ZONE.
FROM THERE, IT'S ON TO THE SECOND OBSTACLE,
THE IRON MAZEN. IT'S A THINKER, JOHNNY.
ENTER THROUGH THE YELLOW, EXIT OUT THROUGH THE RED,
AFTER THAT,
IT'S THE DEMANDING AXLE OF EVIL. CONTESTANTS MUST HOLD ON
TO THESE WHIRLING PRONGS TO MAKE IT TO THE OTHER SIDE.
FINALLY, THE GREAT WALL OF FALL--
THE LAST TREACHEROUS JOURNEY TO MAKE IT TO THE FINAL PLATFORM.
HERE'S A LOOK AT OUR LEADERBOARD AND THE FIRST THREE CONTESTANTS
TO TAKE ON OUR SUMMER COURSE. UP FIRST, THE DAPPER GENT.
LET'S LOOK BACK AND SEE HOW HE ARRIVED
I'M READY.
DAPPER GENT EMANUEL ROBINSON BLAZED THROUGH OUR QUALIFIER
WHOO! UHH! WHOO!
AND PROVED HIMSELF A TRENDSETTER ON OUR WIPEOUT PLAY SET.
NOW WITH $50,000 AND HIS PERM ON THE LINE,
WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!
ALL RIGHT, LET'S HEAD 70 FEET--
YEP, SEVEN STORIES IN THE AIR-- TO THE TOWERING FLUME OF DOOM.
EMANUEL PREPARING FOR THE RIDE OF HIS LIFE.
ALL RIGHT, THERE'S THE LIGHT.
(beeping)
(speaks indistinctly) ...NOW, MY FRIEND.
WHOA! THE BOTTOM DROPPING OUT, AND 1,000 GALLONS OF WATER...
PUSHING THE DAPPER GENT INTO THE ZONE.
EMANUEL WITH A PERMED HAIR-RAISING 7-STORY DROP
HITS THE RAMP HARD. I'D BE PLUGGING MY NOSE, TOO.
LAUNCHED WAY OUT, LEAVING HIM IN GREAT POSITION
FOR OUR FIRST OBSTACLE, THE IRON MAZEN.
REMEMBER, ENTER THROUGH THE YELLOW SIDE,
AND THAT'S THE EASY PART.
WELL, NO PROBLEM GETTING IN RIGHT THERE.
REMEMBER, NOT ALLOWED TO EXIT YET, JOHNNY.
HE'S STILL ON THE YELLOW. OHH!
OHH, TROUBLE. EMANUEL LOSES HIS GRIP,
AND A LOST OPPORTUNITY, REALLY,
BECAUSE HE WENT OUT THE "IN" DOOR.
BACK FOR HIS SECOND ATTEMPT
STANDING TALL AS IRON MAZEN WHEELS AROUND.
TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HIS LENGTH AND THAT TALL BUILD.
THE DAPPER GENT HAS STILL GOT TO MAKE IT AROUND TO THE RED ZONE
THERE'S THE COLOR HE'S LOOKING FOR, JOHNNY. EMANUEL IN THE RED,
NOW IT'S A MATTER OF GETTING TO THE EXIT IN TIME.
OH, BOY. THIS DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.
OOH! OOH, HIS HEIGHT HELPED SAVE HIM THERE, JOHNNY.
LINING UP HIS EXIT OPENING. A GOOD JUMP WILL DO IT.
OH, HO HO! AND HE MAKES IT!
NOW IT'S JUST A SHORT RAMP DOWN TO THE AXLE OF EVIL.
EMANUEL SURVEYING THIS CRAZY CONTRAPTION. WHERE TO START?
OHH, HO!
OHH! GRABS HOLD OF THE FIRST PRONG HE CAN GET HIS HANDS ON!
OHH, HO, BIG BLAST. HERE COMES THE PLATFORM. NO!
OHH! TOO MUCH MOMENTUM AND HE JUST SPINS OFF INTO THE WATER.
SO EMANUEL FORCED TO GIVE IT A SECOND TRY,
AND IT'S THE SAME BOLD APPROACH--HOP ON AND HOLD ON.
THAT AXLE OF EVIL, ALL KINDS OF... (speaks indistinctly)
HERE COMES THE PLATFORM. YES! A PERFECT AND, DARE I SAY,
GRACEFUL LANDING BY EMANUEL. HE IS DAPPER.
ONE FINAL OBSTACLE NOW STANDING IN HIS WAY,
BUT THE GREAT WALL OF FALL IS A DOOZY.
DAPPER GENT HAS A GAME PLAN HERE--
IT APPEARS TO BE SLOW AND EASY, TAKING THE HIGH ROAD EARLY.
HE'S LOOKING FOR A GOOD PLACE TO PLANT THAT FOOT,
BUT TAKE A LOOK, JOHN. THERE IS NO GOOD TOEHOLD TO BE HAD HERE.
OHH! BIG SPLASHDOWN.
THAT WALL IS GREAT, JOHNNY.
IN FACT, I THINK YOU CAN SEE IT FROM SPACE.
EMANUEL--A SECOND CHANCE TO SORT THIS OUT.
HE'S GOT TO SHAKE OFF THAT LAST WIPEOUT AND SOLVE THIS PUZZLE
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
WORKING THE SAME LINE OF PISTONS AS BEFORE.
OHH, HO!
NEARLY A MISSTEP, BUT HE STAYS UP.
THE DAPPER GENT--OH!
BLASTED BY THE WATER CANNON, SO CLOSE TO THE END NOW.
JUST STEPS AWAY FROM THE FINISH PLATFORM.
A SLIP HERE WOULD BE A DEMORALIZING SETBACK.
AH! STOP THAT CLOCK.
WHOO! WHOO! YEAH!
THAT STANDS AS THE MARK TO BEAT, BUT WILL IT STAND VERY LONG?
NOT IF THE TOTAL PACKAGE HAS SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT.
HE'S UP NEXT. LET'S FIND OUT HOW HE GOT HERE.
JIMMY "THE TOTAL PACKAGE" MATTINGLY LIVED UP TO HIS NAME
BY COMING IN FIRST FOR OUR QUALIFIER.
HIS DOMINATING PERFORMANCE CONTINUED
(slide whistle blows)
AND HE TOOK SECOND ON THE WIPEOUT PLAY SET.
NOW THE ZONE AND THE 50K IS ALL HE HAS LEFT TO CONQUER.
JIMMY LOADED INTO THE TOWERING FLUME OF DOOM.
(chuckles)
THAT VIEW HAS GOT TO BE PUTTING BUTTERFLIES
EMANUEL OUR LEADER
WITH A TIME OF 10:42, WATCHING INTENTLY WITH JILL.
IT'S WET NOW, SO HEY.
(beeping)
ALL RIGHT, HERE'S THE COUNTDOWN, AND... LAUNCH.
(John A.) OPEN THE TRAPDOOR, LET GRAVITY GO TO WORK.
70 FEET DOWN AND--WHOA-- 40 FEET OUT TO SEA.
GREAT! JIMMY MATTINGLY'S BODY SHOT OUT LIKE A KIDNEY STONE,
LEAVING HIM IN PRIME POSITION TO GET TO OUR NEXT OBSTACLE,
EASY IF YOU'RE NOT COLOR-BLIND, JOHNNY--
IN THROUGH THE YELLOW, OUT THROUGH THE RED.
OH, YEAH, AND, UH, DON'T FORGET--
IT'S A GIANT ROTATING MAZE.
OH! HE SLIPS, RICOCHETING THROUGH THE MAZE.
OHH! AN EARLY DISAPPOINTMENT.
OHH. YEAH, JIMMY'S USING HIS HEAD... AS A BATTERING RAM.
JIMMY HAS BEEN OUT FRONT ALL DAY LONG.
HESITATION--THAT'S GOOD.
EMANUEL'S CONFIDENCE GROWING
NOW REMEMBER, THE IRON MAZEN
TOOK EMANUEL SOME TIME TO DECIPHER, BUT ONCE HE SOLVES
THE PUZZLE, THE TOTAL PACKAGE STILL NEEDS TO CLIMB OUT.
WELL, HE HAS FIGURED OUT THAT YOU SORT OF WORK BACKWARD
AND LET THAT MAZE CARRY YOU FORWARD.
OHH, HO!
OHH! WHAT LUCK!
TWO NEAR-FALLS ACTUALLY PUTTING JIMMY IN EXCELLENT POSITION.
OHH, HO HO HO!
(Emanuel and Jill) OHH!
OH, SO CLOSE. HIS TIMING JUST A FRACTION OFF,
BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THAT MEANS A BIG SWIM BACK.
AND SOME SLUMPED SHOULDERS AS HE TAKES THAT LONG WALK BACK UP
THE RAMP. LOOKS LIKE THOSE TWO PUNISHING WIPEOUTS ON THE MAZE
SAPPED BOTH JIMMY'S ENERGY AND HIS BRAVADO.
HE LOOKS TIRED.
I'D HAVE TO AGREE WITH EMANUEL.
SLOW IT DOWN. KILLING ME.
HE WAS THE ONE WHO WAS COCKY THROUGHOUT THIS WHOLE THING.
THE TOTAL PACKAGE HAVING A TOTAL MELTDOWN.
HERE HE IS, DROPPING DOWN TOWARDS THE RED.
HE SOUNDED DEFEATED, JOHNNY,
BUT HE IS STILL VERY MUCH IN THE GAME HERE.
STILL HAS MORE THAN 4 MINUTES LEFT,
UH-OH. UH-OH.
JIMMY--A CHANCE TO CLOSE OUT IRON MAZEN.
STRONG LEAP, YEAH! SAFELY ON THAT PLATFORM.
POOR JIMMY. HO HO HO! HE JUST SLID DOWN.
HE IS JUST BEHIND EMANUEL'S PACE AT THIS POINT IN THE COURSE.
OHH, HO!
MM!
OOH!
HE DIDN'T HAVE MUCH OF A GRIP, JOHNNY,
JOHN, THE TOTAL PACKAGE
VERY SLOW GETTING BACK TO THAT LADDER.
WHAT?
NO.
CALL IT.
THAT'S IT.
A SURPRISING TURN OF EVENTS-- JIMMY MATTINGLY SURRENDERS.
WELL, DAPPER GENT EMANUEL ROBINSON
REMAINS OUR LEADER,
BUT IS HIS TIME OF 10 MINUTES, 42 SECONDS
GOOD ENOUGH TO HOLD UP AGAINST
DAZED AND CONFUSED JASMINE PRATT?
CAN THE LADY BEAT THE GENT? FIND OUT AFTER THIS.
♪♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO THE THRILLING CONCLUSION HERE ON "WIPEOUT."
WE'VE ALREADY SEEN TWO RUNS THROUGH THE ZONE,
WITH ONE TO GO AND THE CASH PAYMENT TO FOLLOW.
OUR LEADER, DAPPER GENT EMANUEL ROBINSON,
CAME IN WITH A TIME OF 10 MINUTES, 42 SECONDS.
AND AIMING TO BEAT THAT TIME, WITH HER EYE ON THE 50 GRAND,
WE HAVE DAZED AND CONFUSED JASMINE PRATT,
AND SHE'S DOWN WITH JILL RIGHT NOW.
THANK YOU, FELLAS. I HAVE JASMINE IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
CONGRATULATIONS, GIRL.
(John H.) NO, NOT-- NOT AT US. LOOK AT JILL.
THERE'S NO PRESSURE. I'M NOT PUTTING ANY PRESSURE ON YOU...
NO.
BUT YOU ARE THE ONLY GIRL.
HOW YOU GONNA REPRESENT? HOW YOU GONNA WIN THIS?
(wind whistling)
(John H.) YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET WE ASKED.
DAZED AND CONFUSED JASMINE PRATT
AAH!
THE ILLUSIONATOR LEFT HER POSITIVELY STUPEFIED,
AND BY THE TIME SHE DROPPED ONTO OUR WIPEOUT PLAY SET,
SHE STILL DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT THE HECK WAS GOING ON. BUT NOW IS THE TIME TO FOCUS IN,
ALL RIGHT. IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THIS, JOHN.
WE'VE TEASED HER ALL DAY LONG, BUT THIS GIRL'S AN ATHLETE.
YEP, SHE HAS EARNED HER SPOT IN THE ZONE, THE RIGHT TO CHASE
THE 50 GRAND. 10:42 IS THE TIME TO BEAT. LET'S FLUME AND DOOM.
AAH!
JASMINE PICKING UP SPEED...
OHH, HO HO!
AAH!
DAZED AND CONFUSED LOOKING CRAZED AND INFUSED!
70 FEET STRAIGHT DOWN. SO FAST,
IT TAKES A BIT, I THINK, FOR YOUR SENSES TO CATCH UP.
JASMINE WAY OUT THERE AND MAKING GOOD TIME TO IRON MAZEN.
LOOKING FOR A CLEAN ENTRY HERE ON THE YELLOW.
TIMING IT OUT. OHH! LEADS WITH HER HEAD.
AND LANDING ON IT AS WELL.
NOW THE TRIP THROUGH OUR SPINNING LABYRINTH
REALLY BEGINS. TRYING TO WORK OVER AND THROUGH,
AND GET TO THE RED ZONE. IRON MAZEN TURNING HER DOWN NOW.
JASMINE FRANTICALLY TRYING TO MAKE HER MOVE. WATCH OUT!
OHH!
CRASHING INTO THE SIDE WALL, STILL OFF-BALANCE.
OHH! BOUNCING AROUND LIKE A PINBALL, JOHN--FULL TILT!
TAKE A SECOND LOOK AT THIS. SHE COMPLETELY AND DISASTROUSLY
TUMBLES TOP TO BOTTOM, BANGED UP THE ENTIRE WAY.
WHAT'S THAT WORD YOU LIKE TO USE?
UH, IT'S PRONOUNCED, "WOWCH," JOHN, SPELLED AS IT SOUNDS.
WOW AND OUCH.
JASMINE WITH A SECOND EFFORT NOW, SHAKING OUT THOSE COBWEBS,
YEAH, LET'S SEE IF SHE CAN
IMPROVE ON HER PERFORMANCE THIS TIME, JOHN.
YOU KNOW, DAZED AND CONFUSED DOESN'T TEST WELL.
JASMINE CHASING EMANUEL'S TIME OF 10:42.
REMEMBER, HE ONLY WIPED OUT ONCE ON THIS OBSTACLE.
NOW CROSSING INTO THE RED HALF OF IRON MAZEN.
JASMINE LOOKING UNSURE OF HERSELF NOW, TRYING TO GET OVER
TO THAT EDGE. MAKES HER MOVE TOWARDS THE EXIT, AND LANDS IT!
OHH! BARELY BEATS IT OUT TO FINISH IRON MAZEN. GOOD WORK.
STILL HAS A LOT OF WORK TO BE DONE, THOUGH, JOHNNY.
AXLE OF EVIL AHEAD, AND IT'S NOT ANY EASIER.
JASMINE HAS ABOUT 4 1/2 MINUTES LEFT
IF SHE WANTS TO BEAT EMANUEL'S TIME.
DIFFERENT SPINS AT WORK HERE ON THE EQUILIBRIUM. WHOA! HO HO!
OHH, HO HO! BABY! THE AXLE OF EVIL JUST SWINGING HER AROUND
AND TOSSES HER INTO THE WATER, JOHN. SHE DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE.
JASMINE'S FRUSTRATION STARTING TO SHOW HERE.
OHH, HO!
OHH! AND AGAIN, AT THIS POINT,
FINISHING THIS OBSTACLE'S GONNA BE A CHALLENGE.
JASMINE SO CLOSE, BUT JUST CAN'T HANG ON. WHAT A HEARTBREAK.
I'M EXHAUSTED.
COME ON, COME ON.
THAT BRINGS US SQUARELY TO CRUNCH TIME NOW, JOHNNY.
JASMINE--SHE CANNOT AFFORD ANOTHER MISTAKE.
A WIPEOUT WOULD GUARANTEE VICTORY FOR EMANUEL.
BIG BLAST FROM THE WATER C--OHH!
OHH!
BACK IN THE WATER FOR A FINAL TIME.
NO MORE CONFUSION. JASMINE'S DAY OVER ON AXLE OF EVIL.
AND THAT MEANS
(air horn blows)
YOU JUST WON "WIPEOUT"! YOU WON 50 GRAND, BABY!
WHOO! WHOO! YEAH! YEAH!
(grunting)
WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT.
MM-HMM. AND WE ARE DONE AS WELL,
BUT BE SURE TO TUNE IN NEXT WEEK,
WHEN 24 NEW CONTESTANTS TAKE ON EVEN CRAZIER ALL-NEW OBSTACLES.
AND FOR OUR COLLEAGUE JILL WAGNER,
I'M JOHN HENSON, SAYING GOOD NIGHT AND BIG BALLS.
UHH!
OHH!
(laughs)
OH!
(thud)
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
(vibrating voice) AHH! (laughs)
WHO DOESN'T LIKE THAT, RIGHT?