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She blames. She'll blame you for everything that isn't right in her life or for what other
people do or for whatever has happened. Always, she'll blame you for her abuse. You made her
do it. If only you weren't so difficult. You upset her so much that she can't think straight.
Things were hard for her and your backtalk pushed her over the brink. This blaming is
often so subtle that all you know is that you thought you were wronged and now you feel
guilty. Your brother beats you and her response is to bemoan how uncivilized children are.
Your boyfriend dumped you, but she can understand - after all, she herself has seen how difficult
you are to love. She'll do something egregiously exploitative to you, and when confronted will
screech at you that she can't believe you were so selfish as to upset her over such
a trivial thing. She'll also blame you for your reaction to her selfish, cruel and exploitative
behavior. She can't believe you are so petty, so small, and so childish as to object to
her giving your favorite dress to her friend. She thought you would be happy to let her
do something nice for someone else. 1 Narcissists are masters of multitasking as this example
shows. Simultaneously your narcissistic mother is. 2 Lying. She knows what she did was wrong
and she knows your reaction is reasonable. Manipulating. She's making you look like the
bad guy for objecting to her cruelties. 3 Being selfish. She doesn't mind making you
feel horrible as long as she gets her own way. 4 Blaming. She did something wrong, but
it's all your fault. 5 Projecting. Her petty, small and childish behavior has become yours.
6 Putting on a self-pitying drama. She's a martyr who believed the best of you, and you've
let her down. 7 Parentifying. You're responsible for her feelings, she has no responsibility
for yours.