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Camp Nou, yesterday
"It's been away for a year but now it's here once again!
The stadium is so empty that my voice echoes.
Well, we wouldn't have been able to do it without your help!"
Yesterday, at the Camp Nou, only Puyol and Tito talked.
Why? Crackòvia has found it out.
The reasons were these...
"Very well, boys! Come on, change your clothes quickly, the fans are waiting!
Carles, who are you talking to?" "I'm talking to a peddler, I've bought some beer to fill the cup."
"A can of beer for 2 euros." "No, sit down. Please, sit down.
Carles, this is intolerable." "You're right, coach, this is intolerable.
A can for 2 euros? Unbelievable!" "2 cans for 3 euros."
"Well, that's better. Do you have change for a 500 euros note?" "No! Listen, Carles, no beer; you had enough in the parade."
"Alright, no beer...
Do you have any sangria?"
"Listen, Carles, no ***! You got it?"
"Okay, no ***.
Listen, we'll talk later." "Okay."
"Well, boys, let's talk about the speeches.
As I'm not very good at speaking in public, I've thought about making a celebration just like APM TV show.
Look, let's see what you think.
Pim-pam, La Liga of Tito. Long life Barça, the champions. Long life Roura and the fans.
Pim-pam, La Liga of Tito.
What's your opinion?"
"You'll surpass Guardiola." "Really?"
"It's more ridiculous than his zigger-zagger."
"Then her mother told to Little Red Riding Hood, 'Be careful, Mourinho dwells in the forest he and can poke you in the eye, or wait for you in the parking lot, or...'"
"But what's this speech?" "Well, the thing is I have to give the speech at the same time I usually tell a bedtime story to Thiago.
Let's see if he falls asleep with this speech." "Very well, Messi, it's pretty appropriate. Thanks, you can go on.
And you, David, have you prepared a speech?" "Yes, I'd like to say that these three years have been..."
"Wonderful!" "No, they've been f***ing ***.
I've had to endure Messi's dirty look, playing in the wing.
I broke my leg and after coming back you benched me for flop Alexis."
"Very well, David. Thank you, you can sit down.
Weel, boys, it seems that eventually Carles and I will speak, as usual.
We'll say, 'Long life Barça, long life Catalonia, and bla bla bla.'" "But coach, won't we make a fool of ourselves?"
"Yes, like you in the parade."
"Touché."
"Encourage them because they won't stop making you enjoy!
Long life Barça and long life Catalonia!"
"If they had let me bring some beer, this would've been much better."