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Rankol
We've had two reports
Of errant rifts.
This must be stopped.
I believe
Your rift technology
Is faulty.
Agreed.
Without the imex,
It has been difficult
To calculate
The correct field parameters,
But i believe
That i have solved that problem.
It won't happen again.
For your sake, i hope so.
We can't have errant rifts
Appearing all over mongo.
Now you look like
You belong in maryland,
Not in some war zone
On planet mongo.
This garment is unfit
For climbing,
And would restrict
My ability
To defend myself
In battle.
It's a wedding.
There'll be no combat involved.
This color is that
Of a dactyl's nasal mucous.
As disturbing as that sounds,
Nobody on this planet will know.
Hey
Nick's outside pacing around
Like a maniac.
If he's late for
His brother's wedding, he--
Wow.
And upper torso kicks
Will be impossible.
Tell baylin
That she doesn't have to
Defend herself tonight.
I don't know.
Dressed like that,
She may have to.
I will gather my weapons, then.
No, no, hey,
I meant that as a compliment.
You look great.
Oh.
Do you really think
You're ready to do this?
I would prefer
To remain here--
Nuh-uh-uh.
I'm not letting you
Out of my sight.
We don't need another incident
Like we had with mr.
Mailman.
Non-military personnel
Should not wear uniforms.
Relax,
She's going to fit in.
Yeah,
She's going to blend.
Hey, hey,
What did i say?
No, no.
No, come on,
Put that down.
Enough.
Let's go for a car ride.
You okay?
No, not good.
I'm freaking.
It's supposed to be the groom
Who has the jitters,
Not the best man.
You know my brother.
He's such a perfectionist.
There's no way this speech
Is going to be good enough.
You're going to make him proud.
Hey, nick,
This is baylin.
Dale's cousin.
Oh
So you're the cousin
From europe.
It is another continent,
A great distance away.
And she's funny.
Where have they been hiding you?
In my sleeping chamber,
And in the room
With the stone chair.
Hey, we should really
Get going.
Hey, not to worry, man.
You're going to be great.
What's up?
we got
Another rift.
just off
State road 15.
can you
Check it out?
Whoa, is this bad timing.
of course,
It's bad timing.
Is there ever good timing
For alien invaders?
i'll be there
As soon as i can.
Okay, seriously,
She couldn't wait
Until we got
To the wedding?
She has a very
Small bladder.
It runs in the family.
This seems foolish.
We do not even know
The location of this rift.
Well, it's got to be
Around here somewhere.
I mean, just keep
Your eye open
For angry robots
And disgruntled lion men
Ex-boyfriends.
Whoa
What's with
The rabbit?
Kind of odd
It's just sitting there.
Look out!
Whoa!
What the hell?
Hey, i got a deposit
On this thing.
Joy bugs.
That creature,
It must have been bitten.
Cover your neck.
There you are.
We're gonna
Be extremely late
For the wedding.
.
What were you doing?
Good question.
Joy bugs.
What bugs?
Cover your necks!
Ow!
Something bit me.
Um, nick
Have you gone
Completely insane?
I rendered nick
Unconscious
To spare him
The knowledge of his fate.
What fate?
That he will soon be dead.
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The happy death?
Why do they call it
The happy death?
The joy bug's bite
Is like a drug.
It causes extreme euphoria
Before killing its victims.
Who's this?
Is he dead?
Why did you bring him in here?
It's my friend, nick.
He's been bitten by
Some kind of alien happy bug.
We've got to get it looked at
Right away.
No, the bug is lodged
Underneath his skin.
If it is removed,
He will die instantly.
So, what, if it's
Not removed,
He'll die slowly?
Yes,
But it is said to be
A most pleasant death.
How long
Does he have?
With luck and great diligence,
He might survive
Until nightfall, but
There's got to be
Something we can do.
His only hope
Is the omadrian cure.
Cure?cure?
You might have led
With that.
Yes, but it is
Irrelevant.
The cure can only be
Obtained on mongo,
From the omadrians,
And they are most
Disagreeable.
Disagreeable?
Yes.
It would be easier
Just to let him
Die.
He's not going to die.
Did you bring the rift blaster?
Yeah.
I'm going to mongo.
This is crazy.
You don't even know
Where these omadrians are.
But baylin does,
And you're going to
Take me there.
The omadrians
Will not help you.
Yeah, you let me
Worry about that.
You just get me there.
I will do this,
But your friend will still die.
Please stop
Saying that.
It's really rude.
Look, you said
With diligence,
We might be able to
Keep him alive
Until nightfall.
So, what do we
Need to do
To keep him alive
Until you get back?
You must stop him
From feeling
All happiness.
There's a song
We used to sing
As children.
"when bit by the bug,
All joy will destroy,
"but cause pain
And sorrow,
"they may see
Tomorrow.
"when bit by the bug,
Only strife
Will save life.
"
I thought i had
A rough childhood.
So, what are you saying?
Was i not clear?
Keep him miserable,
And you will
Keep him alive.
This should not be difficult
For you.
Good luck.
Be careful.
I don't think
I'll ever get used to that.
I find it rousing.
Why does that
Not surprise me?
It seems we're in
The lower swamp forest.
Explains the smell.
This way.
"joy will destroy?"
"strife is life?"
This is crazy.
We've got to get him
To a hospital.
But she said
That if they remove it,
He'll die.
So an alien
Bounty hunter
Knows more
Than a doctor?
About
Alien insects, yes.
I mean, what she said
Makes perfect sense.
Lots of animals use poison
To disorient their prey.
The venom of
The bufo alvarius toad,
For example,
Causes the most intense
Psychedelic visions.
So i hear.
So why will keeping him
Miserable help?
The feeling of joy,
It's caused by the brain
Chemical dopamine.
The bug's venom
Must be chemically similar.
Stressor hormones,
Like norepinephrine,
Should slow the build-up
Of the joy bug's poison.
Okay, got it.
So we just have to
Figure out a way
To keep him stressed out
And miserable.
Mm-hmm.
Nick
Are you all right?
Are you okay?
What happened?
Where am i?
Who's he?
Oh, my god!
The wedding!
We're late!
Oof!
So, how does it feel
To be home sweet home?
I have no home,
But familiarity offers
Tactical advantage.
Now, don't get
All sappy on me, baylin.
Alika and carium.
We are near.
To what?
The omadrian village.
Be watchful of triggers.
They
There.
Ow.
So these omadrians
Are a canton of women
Who make remedies.
They wish to
Discourage thieves.
That must be
Some medicine.
Even ming keeps
Omadrian cures
Close at hand.
From here,
You go alone.
Meet me back
Outside the perimeter.
Whoa, whoa, wait,
You're not coming with me?
I am not welcome
Among them.
Anything
I should know about?
They believe i stole
The urn of omadria,
Their most sacred
Artifact.
And why would they
Think that?
Because i did.
At ming's order.
The omadrians
Have no trust of men.
Take caution.
Women who have issues with men,
I can handle.
Uh?
Oh, no
How could i have
Just passed out?
Well, you're putting
A lot of pressure
On yourself,
Not wanting to
Disappoint your brother.
Where's flash
And your cousin?
My cousin
Got sick.
Flash took her home.
What?
I need him.
He's supposed to make sure
I don't mess this up.
Don't worry.
I'm here.
I'm going to
Make sure
Nothing bad
Happens, okay?
Here.
Oh, no.
Cousin chloe's here.
Who's that?
My sister-in-law's
Cousin from jersey.
She's got the hots
For me.
That's her at 9:00
Wow, she, uh
Loves blue
Sparkles.
Okay, she makes a move on me,
You cover me.
Okay.
Whoa
Phew, kind of woozy there.
Are you okay?
Actually
I feel great.
This setting
It's so beautiful.
Everything is beautiful.
Michael
You're late.
And you're
The best brother ever,
And you're going to have
The best wife ever.
You're going to be so happy!
Are you drunk?
Yeah.
Nick has symptoms.
I think it's started.
Okay, well,
You have to intervene.
Do something to upset him.
what?
I don't know.
Think of something
That stresses you out.
i'm testing the rabbit.
I'll get back to you.
I need to talk to you
For a minute.
Anything.
Halitosis.
Your breath
Is terrible.
It is?
Whoo The worst.
You should really think about
Flossing.
Do you have any gum
Or breath mints,
Or those little
Strippy thingies?
No, nothing.
Sorry.
Laven flower
And cariam.
Calming,
Is it not?
Oh, that's so nice, dale.
What's going on?
We're allowing you
To make retribution.
For what?
For being a thief
And a soldier.
Both offenses
Against our doctrine.
See, there's been
A misunderstanding.
See, i'm not a thief,
And this is not a uniform.
This is a tux,
For a wedding.
A bonding ceremony.
You have those, right?
Bonding to men implies consent
To violence and injustice,
And all suffering
Wrought by your gender.
Women of such weak esteem
Have no place here.
Oh, you're liberated.
Congratulations.
Welcome to 1973.
Bring the tools
Of transformation.
I thought you didn't
Allow men here.
These have been
Transformed.
Transformed?
Their aggressions have been
Removed.
See how peaceful
They are?
Oh, no, no, no.
No, you're not turning me
Into one of those, all right?
I-i need my aggressions.
I'm very, very fond
Of my aggressions.
Look, i just came
For some medicine.
My friend,
He was bitten by a joy bug.
He's lying.
No.
He's a thief.
No!
He carried nothing for trade.
How did you intend to pay?
Okay, see,
I haven't got that far yet,
But, you know what?
Hey, i could work it off.
I'll work it off.
I can fix almost anything.
Yeah.
Then we are in luck.
You will make
An excellent docile.
No, no, no, no, no.
Uh, uh
The urn!
What if i brought you
The urn of omadria?
What do you know of the urn?
Only that
It's important to you.
So let it be known,
As you join hands,
Antoinette and michael,
That you are joined
In body and soul
For this lifetime.
I think it's happening again,
And there's nothing
I can do.
I'll call you back.
And this bond is
Sacred and eternal,
And now that you have
Stood before me
And exchanged these rings,
And exchanged these vows
I'm just so happy for you!
It is my pleasure
To pronounce
That you are husband
And wife.
Whoa!
I'm so sorry!
Oh, i'm so sorry.
Are you okay?
Everybody okay?
Thanks, pal.
I can handle my own pants.
You're certain you can
Get inside ming's citadel?
I'm very resourceful.
So the urn?
The urn dates back
To the birth of our culture.
It contains the remains
Of our founding mother.
What would ming want with that?
He seized relics
From all of the cantons
For the archives,
But it was truly an effort
To rob our heritage.
I don't know
How you put up with him.
What choice do we have?
Without source water,
We could not survive.
I'll get you your urn.
May the first mother
See you safely
On your journey.
My turn.
How do you feel?
I'm just so happy!
No!
No, you're not happy.
But i am!
I'm really, really happy,
And i just love weddings!
Yeah, i guess since
You probably won't have
One of your own,
This must be nice.
What do you mean?
Well, michael.
he is a catch.
The looks,
The intelligence.
Who wouldn't
Want to marry him,
But you?
What about me?
Well, you're
Kind of a
A what?
Um
Nothing.
Oh,i love this song!
Loser!
Nick,you're a loser,
And nobody likes you.
That's not very nice.
And flash,
He's only friends with you,
Because he feels sorry for you.
Why are you saying these things?
And you're a really bad dancer.
Okay,stop!
I don't know what your problem is,
But you're not going to ruin this day for me.
This arrangement with the omadrians
Was unwise.
Well,being fresh out of wise ideas,
I chose the one that would save nick,
And my future children.
And if you and i are both executed,
Then who benefits?
Your disguise should get us past the entry guards,
But once inside
If we get caught,turn me in.
They won't harm you
If they think you brought me in for ming.
You would sacrifice yourself for me?
Just promise me you'll get the cure to nick
If i can't.
But why aura?
Because you and i can't just walk
Into the chamber of archives on our own.
I could dispatch the sentry with two blows.
Yeah?
What about the guards between here
And the hallway?
You leave a trail of bodies,
Somebody's bound to notice.
She will be unpleasant and uncooperative--
She has access.
Enlisting her help is futile.
Okay,broken record, i get it.
I'm not going to ask so much as insist.
Now,let me borrow that.
Baylin?
????
Turn me in.
Oof!
I found this docile wandering.
Docile's are not your concern.
Return to your overseer.
Wait.
They are harmless
And confuse easily.
So true.
Baylin,we'd assumed that you were dead,
Or a deserter.
I am well and returning for duty.
I had to be so mean to him.
He hates me.
I hate me.
I can't do this anymore.
I'm not a mean person.
Remember what baylin said.
"strife equals life.
"
He's alive because of you.
I've been doing stress tests on the rabbit,
And the response is immediate, but temporary.
I also see indications
That he will become resistant to the stressors.
Tell me about it.
I just told him he was a loser and nobody likes him.
He's back out on the dance floor.
I've been experimenting with other variables,
But nothing conclusive yet.
Great.
Now he's singing.
You've got to stop him.
How?
He won't even let me near him.
[pounds on door]
Room service?
So
What services are you offering, flash gordon?
Hello,aura.
That ion pistol
Really brings out the color of your eyes.
If you're looking at my eyes, i'm insulted.
Come on,why don't you put that thing away?
As you can see,
I'm clearly unarmed,
And i don't know about you, but i've always found
That between consenting adults, firearms just get in the way.
Come now.
Do i really seem that naive?
You can do better than that.
Well,you can't blame a guy for trying.
It would seem that,uh
I'm at your mercy,
Aura
I suppose you're wondering why i'm here.
I fooled you once,
Have you come to punish me?
As tempting as that is,
I hold nothing against you.
I believe you do.
Ugh!
I need the urn of omadria.
Why?
It's complicated,
And i hate to rush you
As you're being so hospitable and all,but
It's a matter of life and death,
And besides, these burlap pants
Are creating an urgency all their own.
Hmm
Now, to the chamber of archives.
I do not believe you would hurt me.
No?
That was not necessary.
You're next.
You wouldn't.
Wouldn't i?
All right,if I take you to the chamber,
You'll owe me,
And don't think i'll forget.
You're not in a position to negotiate.
Where i'm from,
The guy with the gun does the talking.
Now,let's go.
Stop.
Take off all your clothes.
Don't flatter yourself.
A woman like me would never be seen
With an omadrian docile.
Turn around.
I'm serious.
What is all this stuff?
Artifacts from the cantons
And outlands.
My father is keeping them safe.
Keeping them safe or just keeping them?
He does what is necessary to maintain order.
These artifacts encourage primitive thinking.
The urn?
Although some of them are
Quite lovely.
You sure you should be taking that?
It's really not your concern.
You know, i don't get you,aura.
Are you really that cold, or is it all an act?
What do you think?
Let's find out.
Ugh!
Look,i am really sorry about this,
But if you ever get to earth,
You can tie me up.
Easy now
Are you sure he said that?
The thing you don't know about nick
Is that he's a very shy person.
I wouldn't have guessed that.
He loves you,chloe.
You're a very powerful woman.
He just doesn't want to get hurt.
That's why he never talks to me?
Exactly.
It's too hard for him.
Help him,chloe.
He needs you.
I'm telling you the god's honest truth.
You go to him right now,
He'll have a new reason to live.
Hey,chloe.
You look beautiful.
I thought you had grown weary of mongo
And abandoned your post in my service.
No,benevolent father.
I was stranded.
Well,how is it you were able to return now?
A rift opened.
And you just happened upon it?
I surveyed a scientist
Who monitors the rifts.
I am an excellent tracker.
Well,perhaps rankol could use your help
With the rifts he's misplaced.
I would like to learn more of this scientist.
I am here now,
Ready for my next assignment.
What about your last assignment?
Aura told me
You were subdued by flash gordon?
And then i dispatched him.
Ah
So he is dead?
Yes.
Father!
Flash gordon broke into the omadrian archives!
Quite a feat for that man.
Search the city and the docking bays.
Find him!
Didn't think i'd leave you,huh?
It would have been less foolish.
You're welcome.
I think he's my size.
I can't believe i've never seen it before.
I think i love her.
I love everybody,
Even you,dale.
Thanks.
I think.
I know you can't help being a *** sometimes.
Okay, you can stop loving me now.
You okay?
You've been acting kind of weird.
No,no,i'm great.
I don't know.
I think you should sit the speeches out.
No,no,no,today's the happiest day of your life,
Therefore,the happiest day of mine.
Where's the mic?
You don't want to get a dry mouth
While doing your speech.
Oh,thanks.
Drink up.
What are you trying to do to me?
Hi,everyone.
I'm nick.
For those of you in antoinette's family,
I'm michael's brother.
For those of you in my family,
I'm that other one.
It's easy to tell us apart.
He's the valedictorian,
The one who never broke curfew,
Got into law school,
Does volunteer work
I think this was a mistake.
Do you know what it's like
To live in that shadow?
How i feel having the perfect brother?
Proud.
Very,very proud.
A little too much sun for the best man.
Help him up.
Come on.
I got it, i got it
Yes.
Yes,i realize it's 3:00 a.
m.
In cairo,
But this is an emergency.
Uh,i read your abstract on malarial migration patterns,
And i was wondering if i could talk to you
About subtropical parasites in
Hello?
Hello? Hello?
Agh!
Heat not good.
Hang in there,little guy, come on.
So far,so good.
We'll get the urn, get the cure--
Halt!
Oh,hey.
Mission accomplished.
Baylin.
Cleric.
Okay,now that we're all introduced,
Can we get the cure?
You will come with me.
I will stay here.
Both of you.
Well,when you put it that way.
So how was i?
You call that a toast?
Well,hopefully, everybody was too drunk
To remember anything.
How are you feeling?
Kind of weird.
Good,but not good.
I'm so sorry,nick.
I wish there was something i could do.
Oh,believe me,
You've done enough already today.
I think something's wrong with me.
I got to lie down.
Come here.
Up.
Gotcha.
Up.
He was captured in the company of baylin.
This is a trick of ming's design.
This is no trick.
You dare to show your face
Near our village?
I cannot change the past.
Hey,you wanted the urn.
You got the urn.
That is true.
You have returned our mother omadrian
To her proper place.
So we're good then.
If you could just hand over the cure
No.
What do you mean,"no?"
We do not reward those who consort with thieves.
You may leave with your lives,
But we will not give you the cure.
Nick
Nick!
Wake up,please.
Nick,you got to help me out here.
We're going to sit up,okay?
We can do this.
You got to help me out.
Okay,let's sit up.
Come on,up.
Good,good.
Yeah,you're doing great.
Come on.
No,no,no,no.
Come on,nick, you got to help me out.
On the count of three,
We're going to sit up.
You can do this.
One
Two
Up!
Up,come on.
No
dale!
You have to get his ambient temperature down.
It seems to slow the progression.
Is there a walk-in freezer there,
Or an air-conditioned room that you could seal off?
freezer?
It's a garden party.
This can't be it.
Not after all this.
Okay
You just got to hang on.
Flash is going to be here soon.
Everything's going to be okay.
No,you can't do this.
We had a deal!
The discussion is closed.
These visitors are not welcome!
Hey!
You know how you care for this tribe,
Like they're your family?
Well,a member of my tribe is dying.
He's like a brother to me,
And i am not leaving here without a cure.
Now,you can do whatever you want with me,
You can kill me,
You can turn me into one of them,
I don't care,
But i have to save him.
You're in league with our enemy--
She who took our blessed mother,
Teacher of peace and love.
She's not your enemy.
She was just doing what she had to do to survive.
Tell them.
I have no quarrel with your tribe.
In ming's employ, i did many things,
Made many enemies.
Things you're not proud of.
I am neither proud nor ashamed.
What i am is alive.
See,baylin may be the one
To steal your urn,
But if somebody hits you with a baseball bat,
Do you blame the bat?
It is certainly in ming's interests
That we blame the As you call it,"bat.
"
Exactly,
And as long as ming keeps you hating each other,
He prevents you from fighting your real enemy.
And if i offer you the cure that you seek,
In return for leaving the thief
Here with us?
No,there's no deal.
I'm not going to exchange one life
For another.
None of this is her fault.
Give them their payment.
They are both free to go.
I believe we will meet again.
Thank you.
Let's go.
Dale?
Dale! Dale!
Excuse me.
Nick?
Finally.
He's not,is he?
I don't know.
There's still a chance.
Here.
Come on,buddy, drink up.
Come on.
Come on.
He will soon recover.
Come on,buddy.
Hey
About time you made it.
Hey,you got that right.
There you are.
I've been looking for you,
And i'm ready to get goin' with what you got goin'.
You know what? I'll call you.
You have strange traditions here.
Until you get used to them.
It's nice that some people will live happily ever after.
You were most impressive today.
I did not expect your friend
To survive this long.
You were clearly successful at causing him misery.
It must have been difficult for you.
It was.
I didn't expect to see you back here.
What happened?
On mongo,i have no tribe.
Family.
What are you going to do?