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This has gotta be my favorite time of the year.
If my history is correct,
it all started when Satan hopped on hell's escalator up to Earth
and tore it apart lookin' for lost souls
and full-sized candy bars.
Now, that may sound terrifying,
but you can still have a ton of fun.
So here's
I can't get enough of the slutty costumes on Halloween.
It turns my "fun sized" into a "king sized,"
if you know what I mean.
Eheh heh heh heh.
Anyway,
you can go the standard route with the
and of course,
But those have all been done a million times,
so try THESE *** on for size!
The slutty desk,
the slutty used band-aid,
and finally,
The slutty ***.
Ladies, try any of these on, and you'll be sure to win "best costume."
Except for the "slutty used band-aid."
That thing's just nasty.
Everybody loves to stuff their face on Halloween.
But there's always some crazy jerk out there
who wants to tamper with your candy.
Lucky for you, I'm a
For a small fee,
I'll come trick-or-treatin' with ya,
and I'll gladly test-chew all your candy.
Is there a thumbtack in that chocobar?
I'll eat it first!
There might be a machine gun in that lollipop.
I'll eat it first.
Is that a razor blade in that apple?
I'll eat i- why, wait a minute, who gives out apples on Halloween?
Just throw it back through that jerk's window.
After I determine the candy is safe for consumption,
I simply regurgitate it into your mouth like a loving mama bird
and we hit the next house!
Short on cash and need a last-minute costume?
Well here's
Spoiled shrimp plus a parking cone
equals "busted sewer pipe!"
A blindfold plus an intersection
equals "a car accident!"
Tube socks plus a garbage bag
equals "Socktopus, Ruler of the Deep."
Clown makeup plus anything
equals... super creepy.
I don't like clowns...
Finally, tighty-whities plus yellow jellyfish
equals "Kung Fu Karl."
Added bonus:
any Kung Fu Karl costume is automatically sexy.
Follow these tips and you'll have the best Halloween ever.
Until Satan steals all the fun-sized chocobars and drags us all to the fiery pits of hell.
Anyway, I'm gonna go eat my delicious lookin' costume,
So here's
Never eat barbequed ribs in a port-o-potty.
Because there is never any napkins in there.
Can't get enough Karl?
Tweet your questions at ASKKFK,
or stop by my facebook page for more of my awesome drawings!
It's question time.
My favorite costume was when I dressed up as a robot
that transformed into a sexy vampire werewolf.
Leave your answer in the comments below.