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I woke up in a haze,
searching for something to makes sense of my surroundings.
The environment was familiar,
but there was a discomfort that permeated my very being,
overwhelming me as I looked around.
I felt out of place,
confused and helpless as I wandered the deserted roads,
but worse, I felt alone.
Was there anyone there to meet me,
or was I left to stare out at the water I was too afraid to enter?
If there were hope in the water, I wouldn't know it,
because I was safe where I was, even as I longed for more.
I know that there is something out there for me, but I'm afraid.
I feel isolated in this land,
with no one else to connect,
and it seems i don't know how.
I have no relationships in this nightmare.
I feel so alone
in this desolate world.
But this is not a dream;
this is life.
To live in fear of society,
and feel like there is no place for you.
It's the feeling of loneliness,
a troubling reality and harder for those who don't know better.
For those who sit alone,
watching,
thinking of all that could be said if it were only easier,
if the fear would go away.
While i feel alone,
I know there are many others who feel the same way,
who stand in their fort of anxiety,
who look out their windows at society
and don't see their reflection.
They struggle to see themselves among them.
They only watch, imagining, longing,
dreaming of stepping in that water of community.
So I will take those steps,
into the water,
into society.
I will take the risk
and enter the unknown.
I will learn to let go of anxiety,
because no man should be alone.