Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
[BELL RINGING]
[Jerry:] I guess I knew this day would come.
The day I'd have to bury a friend. Maybe my best friend.
We've been through a lot together. Some ugly moments.
Remember when props came in? The ventriloquism scare of '84?
Sure there were times when people would make fun of you.
Imitating you. Hey did you ever notice? What's the deal with this?
Who are these people?
[CRYING]
[Jerry:] They say the hardest thing for a person to do is bury a loved one.
But those people never had material like this. The Tide commercial,
if you've got a t-shirt with blood stains all over it maybe laundry
isn't your biggest problem right now.
[MUSIC]
[Man:] I don't understand it, he walks away from his show,
he walks away from his act. Are you sure this kid is Jewish?
[George Wallace II:] Oh, he's Jewish and don't ask me how I know.
[Carol Leifer:] It's just such a waste. I mean it all works.
[Ed McMahon:] Is there any cake?
[MUSIC]
[Jerry:] Gary, what are you doing? [Garry Shandling:] Listen I've got nothing
on the post office. Alright?
[Jerry:] Okay. [Garry Shandling:] Thanks.
[MUSIC]
[George Carlin:] Did you ever see his act? [Robert Klein:] No, not really man. Did you?
[George Carlin:] Yeah. Yeah. He was good.
But now he's full of [inaudible].
[Man:] Ed, did you ever see his act?
[Ed McMahon] He did the Tonight Show, many, many times. But no.
[Jerry:] Jay, thanks man for being here, this really means a lot.
[Jay:] Yeah, hey listen when can you do the show again, huh?
[Jerry:] Uh, but I just retired all my material. [Jay:] Is Carlos still around?
[Paul Reiser:] Why is it the best landscaping in the neighbourhood
is always in a cemetery? Everybody's dead.
[Larry Miller:] That's funny, you gonna do that? [Paul Reiser:] Do what?
[Larry Miller:] The bit. Can I do that? [Paul Reiser:] Oh that's not a bit, I'm just saying.
[Larry Miller:] I'm gonna do that, okay? [Paul Reiser:] You can't do it, it's my bit.
[Larry Miller:] It's a bit. It's anybody's bit who does it.
[Paul Reiser:] But I said it first. [Larry Miller:] Come to think of it,
I've been doing it for a while anyway.
[Robert Klein:] Jerry, Alan King would like to meet you in his territory.
He'll guarantee security.
[Jerry:] Okay.
[MUSIC]
[HORN HONKING]
[Kid:] Hey! Hey! Hey Mister, I know this is yours.
Don't you want it?
[Jerry:] Sorry kid, I don't do this joke anymore.
[Kid:] Aw, come on. [Jerry:] Look I'm sorry. It's over.
[Kid:] But this is a solid bit. Please? [Jerry:] Alright, but I'm telling you for the last time.