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My name is Shufang Yang, I am 29 years old
I am currently a Chinese teacher
teaching foreign students Chinese in the university language center
My current job situation is fairly stable
but this year I feel a certain stress thinking
I'm 29, just one more year and I will be 30, and when I am 30
I hope I can be able to confirm the path of my life
so I hope tat the job I do at that age can be the job that I will do for the rest of my life,
and I'm still not completely sure that being a Chinese teacher is that kind of job
so this really is a year full of anxiety for me.
There are four of us in our family
it's a fairly typical and ordinary Taiwanese family.
In that period the slogan was: "Two is precisely right"
So they just had two daughters
My mum and dad always lived together,
even though when we were young they were both busy with their work,
in the end probably they just had completely different interests
so when we were growing up their relationship wasnˇt ideal,
but they had the view that "divorce is not good",
so they probably didn't want to divorce.
So this situation with your parents, is it possible it might have
influenced your attitude towards marriage?
Even though you currently have no plans to get married, do you think it has influenced you?
Yes, it has had some amount of influence on me.
Because, I think, when I heard about the story of when they were young, it seems that,
when they still hadn't known each other for very long, my dad was studying
for his masters degree at Taiwan University
my mother was a nurse, they were both very young,
and they had just started going out at that time, and it seemed like their families were still rather opposed,
Iˇm not too sure, maybe one of the families was Mainland born and the other was Taiwan born,
and then, they still werenˇt considering marriage, they had just started dating,
but then, I think because of my motherˇs father had just passed away,
in that period there was the tradition that
when your elderˇs passed away, you should get married within 100 days,
and in this way you can¨≧尺〃 (wash away the bad luck).
If you don't get married by that time then you have to wait three years before getting married.
At that time they were likely head over heels in love, so they thought, we had better get married quick,
they were in a big hurry.
So now I wonder, if they had decided at that time instead to wait for three years,
they might never have got married, and if they never got married then there wouldnˇt be me.
So I believe the influence I got from my parents is, maybe marriage is something
you need to consider carefully.
For example, if I was very impetuous, and decided, I really love this person,
I want to get married, even so,
maybe in the future I would still want to get a divorce.
So your mother will also tell you to consider carefully, is that correct?
Yes, my mother always tells me, marriage is one of the major
events in life,you need to think it over very carefully,
you should believe from the moment that you get married that it will be a lifelong marriage.
I think she thinks I am a very impetuous person who doesnˇt think things over, 0:04:06.500,0:04:09.000 and thatˇs why she tells me these things.
She also says, if you donˇt have a suitable partner, she is more realistic about the money side of things,
he needs to have a solid foundation, and when it comes to personality,
he should be honest and considerate, always good to you.
So if there isnˇt anyone suitable then itˇs probably best to not marry, thatˇs what she tells me.
When I was in Mexico I had a couple of good friends.
They, the woman was Peruvian, the man was Mexican.
hey were both very, very hippy, they were anthropology hippies.
They studied at the anthropology university. The girl had a shaved head, and she had a colour tattoo,
one of those Indian tribal totems, and they were both really cool.
The man had a big beard.
The cool thing is, after I had known them for three years,
there was one day that girl was suddenly crying disconsolately in a cafe,
and she said she was going to break up with her boyfriend.
And at that time, we all said, oh come on, he is not good to you, just constantly supporting her,
and saying if he is such a bad person to you then just break up with him, donˇt worry,
there are plenty more fish in the sea. But she just sat there and wouldnˇt stop crying.
And later on we found out that what she hadnˇt mentioned then was that she was pregnant,
and they were having arguments about breaking up, and she was full of despair.
But in the end it seems she decided to have the child,
and the boyfriend became more responsible because of the child,
and moved in together with her to take care of the child.
Originally the man didnˇt have a regular job,
but after the child was born he found a job, in the national electrical company, a civil servant job.
He changed so much, we couldnˇt believe this guy with the big beard would be willing to
put up with this kind of job for his child.
So it was because of the child that they didnˇt break up and stayed together, right?
Yes, and they look like they both mutually accept each other now.
I think they made the right decision.
I think marriage is not such a grim thing,
itˇs just a legal formality.
I think it's more to do with stable support.
It gives not only the couple, but also the surrounding friends,
a feeling of hope.
A hope that you can keep going on.
Translation and Subtitles: Daniel Pagan Murphy